The Fragrance of Her Name (50 page)

“
Heck, no!” he admitted in a whisper. “And I hope not to see the likes of it again until I’m old enough for my own blood to boil the devil out!”



“
We’re goin’ tomorrow,” Lauryn explained to the Captain late that night in her bedroom. “All of us. Nana, Penny, Jeffrey, Brant and me. We’ll talk to Carissa and…and I feel that…”

“
Don’t speak it yet, Lauryn. Please,” he whispered. The fear was evident in his voice, in the grimace of painful hope on his face. “I…I can’t hope too much. I’m…I’m…”

“
I understand.” Lauryn reached out, taking the Captain’s hand reassuringly in hers. “When I get back…when I’ve talked to Carissa…” The Captain nodded, forcing a smile. He was trying to be hopeful, she could tell. “This is it, my Captain. The event, the person that will help us.”

The Captain reached out and brushed a lock of hair from Lauryn’s cheek. Smiling, he bent and kissed her forehead softly. “You are an angel on earth, Sweet Lauryn.” And he was gone.

Lauryn sighed heavily. The nearly painful throbbing of melancholia that washed over Lauryn at that moment caused tears to spring to her eyes. She would miss her Captain. How greatly she would miss him. And, in her soul, Lauryn knew he would be gone soon. She had seen less and less of him since Brant entered her life…since they’d begun to get closer to solving the mystery of Laura. She wondered…was it because more of her attention had transferred to Brant? Or had it something to do with actually getting closer to finding Laura? Were they closer to finding her? And did that make it less necessary for the Captain to appear to her?

Chapter
Twenty

The train rumbled along rhythmically; the scenery outside rolling by at a relaxing pace. Lauryn had related to Jeffrey and Penny, in greater detail, her experience with the Captain. But, they had paled all the more when they had learned of Brant’s experience with Laura. In fact, Lauryn had been astounded by the pallid state of their faces when Brant explained why Lauryn had fainted upon seeing the child’s tea set Penny had shown them, the one with the missing cup. Naturally, Penny had been very curious about Laura’s possessing one of the cups when Brant was a child. And, like Lauryn and Brant, she was also bothered by not knowing why it no longer appeared with her.

Now, as Nana related the entire story of Lauralynn and Brandon, Brant was oddly silent, frowning out the window, obviously lost in his own deep thoughts. Lauryn could read his frustration, his hidden resentment toward the fact that help had been so close at hand and unseen for so long. However, she tried to focus intently as Nana finished relating her experiences the day of Laura’s disappearance to Penny and Jeffrey.

“
I saw Carissa that day,” Nana said, almost reverently. “She smiled at me and blew me a kiss, and I knew I had seen her for the very last time.” Then Nana seemed to brighten. “But now,” she sighed. “Now she’s found to me. And I can’t wait to see her!”

“
She’s very old, Mrs. Kensington,” Jeffrey reminded.

“
Darling, I realize that,” Nana chuckled. “She is older than me and I can tell you, young man, that I
am quite well aware of my own ancient state.”

Suddenly, Brant rose from his seat. Without a word, he made his way to the aisle. As he began striding rather angrily toward the back of the train car, Lauryn did not pause in following him. His stride was so long and so determined she had to rush to catch up to him. Reaching the back door of the car, he opened it and stepped out onto the small landing.

“
Brant?” she asked, instantly revitalized by the cool air outside. “I’m sure they don’t want the passengers out here. It’s not exactly safe,” she said, taking hold of the ladder leading to the top of the car.

“
Then you should go back,” he growled softly. “No need for both of us to be in trouble.”

“
What’s wrong, Brant?” she asked. It was obvious he was very, very upset. More so than she had sensed at first.

“
I hate her,” he stated bluntly. “How could she not come forward? How could she not help in the search for Laura? After all Laura did for her? After forgiving her, helping her and loving her so unconditionally?”

“
She’s an old woman, Brant…” Lauryn began.

“
And how could she do that to them?” he interrupted. “How could she lie about a thing like that? About who the father of her baby was? How could they forgive her? Brandon and Laura? And why do we have to be reduced to seeking her out for help?” He was enraged, and Lauryn felt it best to let him vent for a moment. “And what’s Jeffrey’s hitch? He’s so protective of her…a lying, deceptive, heartless…”

“
I…I can’t say…” Lauryn whispered.

“
Yeah, I’ve noticed,” he growled turning to her. “You’ve been pretty accepting of all this. At first, I was so blinded by the possibility this might lead us to Laura that I enjoyed a few hours of elation, too. But now….” He shook his head and continued, “Now I hate her. Somehow…this is all…all of it…somehow this is her fault. I feel it! Everything you’ve endured, I’ve endured…everything our counterparts have endured! It could’ve been resolved long ago if one person had come forward. How can she truly claim regret when she’s hidden it all for this long? It’s not like she hasn’t had decades to resolve it, Lauryn!”

Lauryn gasped as he turned and slammed his fist into the steel train car several times, overcome with uncontrollable anger and frustration.

“
She should’ve come forward, Lauryn!” he shouted. “It should never have come this far.”

Lauryn watched, frowning with sympathy for the fist he now regretfully rubbed. She would not be surprised if his outburst had caused him some broken bones.

“
Brant,” she said calmly, reaching out and placing a hand on his arm soothingly. “You’re right.” He looked at her, still frowning from anger or pain, she couldn’t tell which, possibly from both. “She was wrong to keep silent, to hide. But…but had she come forward earlier…had she contacted the family…it doesn’t mean Laura would’ve been found. And…and what if she had? Then…then…” she paused, afraid of his reaction to what she was about to say. Did she want to see in his eyes what she might? If there was disagreement, which she knew there wouldn’t be…but, if there was…what then? “If she had come forward…if Laura had been found by someone other than you or I…then you and I….” She felt the tears welling up in her eyes. “You and I would never have….” She couldn’t finish. She couldn’t confess to him that she was glad, sinfully glad that Carissa had never appeared before! If she had, Brant would’ve had no reason to come to Connemara. Lauryn was glad that the mystery had continued for so long. Whether admittedly conscious of it before that moment or not, she was glad that Laura had not been found before. For if it had not been just the way it was, she would not have known her heart’s desire, her dreams come true in Brant.

Brant looked at the beauty standing before him, her eyes filled with tears. He watched for a moment as the wind blew spiced-colored ringlets around her face, awed by the meaning of her unspoken words. It was at that very moment that he realized his emotion toward Carissa Kensington shouldn’t be that of resentment, of hatred. But rather of thanks. For Lauryn was right. Had the mystery been solved before now, he would perhaps never have met his beautiful Lauryn. Might never have known the ecstasy of her kiss, the rapture induced by her caress, the joy in his heart at her wit, sweetness and inner loveliness.

He could see then the doubt, the questioning of his sincerity as she asked, “You
are
glad that we…that we know each other. Aren’t you, Brant?” He loathed the fact that he could not speak it to her…that he wasn’t able to just take her in his arms and whisper all the things his heart felt into the softness of her hair. But until things were settled…until life could be about him…about her…it hurt him to see her self-doubt, her doubt in his true feelings for her. She had so much more courage than he did. Where would he be, he wondered…who would he be without having been led to her?

“
Will you come and visit me in Hell, Lauryn?” he asked quietly.

“
What?” she whispered, completely puzzled by his sudden change of demeanor.

“
When I’m roasting on a spit for eternity…for being thankful that the Captain and Laura were wandering in pain, searching for each other aimlessly for fifty years…grateful to Carissa for keeping silent when she shouldn’t have so that I could know you, hold you…will you come down from Heaven, my own angel, and visit me?”

As Lauryn felt the tears escape her eyes and trickle down her face, Brant reached out and gathered her into his arms. She nuzzled her cheek against the soft, freshness of his shirt and let her arms slide around his waist, returning his embrace.

“
Brant,” she began. “I…I…”

“
I’m sorry, Lauryn,” he interrupted. She had nearly spoken of her love aloud to him, but his apology had silenced her. “I’m a weak-minded fool,” he told her. “Not like you. No. You’re strong, brave. You see the deeper meaning in things. I thank you for your wisdom.”

She looked up at him, thrilled at the tiny twitching at the corner of his mouth because she knew what it foretold. In the next moments, as his mouth worked a delicious spell of passion with her own, she wondered if she might burn in eternal flames, as well. Her delight in the feel of the faultless sculpture of his body as he held her, her wicked pride in the uncommonly handsome features of his face as her hand caressed his cheek, and her ecstasy at being lost in his perfect kiss seemed too heavenly to be right.



The elderly woman’s eyes were closed as Jeffrey led everyone into her room. Tears were already rolling down Nana’s cheeks, and Lauryn couldn’t cease her nervous trembling. She watched as Penny went to her granny’s bedside and bent, kissing her on the cheek. The old woman stirred, opened her eyes and smiled at her granddaughter.

“
Penny, sweet,” Carissa Kensington McGovern spoke quietly. “What brings you ‘round to see your old granny?”

Penny glanced over her shoulder at Lauryn, smiling uncertainly. “I’ve…I’ve brought visitors, Gran,” she explained. Lauryn held her breath as the old woman looked past her granddaughter to the strangers standing in the room.

Carissa’s eyes were a brilliant green, her hair perfectly white and twisted into a long braid that hung over one shoulder. Instantly, Lauryn saw the resemblance to her own Nana, and she wondered if Laura might look the same had she lived to be elderly.

“
Um…Gran…this is…this is…” Penny stumbled over her words, obviously afraid somehow to tell her grandmother who the visitors were. It was Lauryn’s Nana that stepped forward.

Lauryn watched anxiously as her Nana made her way carefully to the side of the old woman’s bed. Reaching out, she took Carissa’s hand and smiled down at her.

“
Carissa?” Nana ventured.

“
Yes?” the old woman responded. Lauryn noted the way an expression of near recognition crossed her face momentarily.

“
It’s me, dearest. Virgina,” Nana revealed.

Instantly, Carissa’s eyes filled with tears. “’Ginny?” she whispered. “Our little Ginny-Bean?”

“
Yes, dearest,” Virginia confirmed, tears running down her face. “Ginny-Bean.”

Carissa closed her eyes, her brow puckering with emotion as her own tears streamed down her cheeks. “I’m sorry Ginny,” she whispered. “I’m sorry…for everythin’. For leavin’ you, for Brand and Laura and…and all of it.”

“
Sssshhh,” Nana soothed. “It was forgiven long ago, ‘Rissy. Forgiven long ago.” Nana raised Carissa’s hand to her lips and kissed the back of it lovingly. “I’m only glad we’ve found you, dear. At last, I have my sister again.” Carissa sniffled and opened her eyes, smiling as Penny brushed a tear from her own cheek and handed a handkerchief to her grandmother.

“
Who else has come to see the sinner?” Carissa asked.

“
Gran…I’ll have none of that,” Jeffrey scolded, striding to his grandmother’s bedside and kissing her forehead lovingly.

“
Jeffrey, angel,” Carissa greeted. “I see you’ve been out to save my soul.”

“
Though I would do anythin’ for you, Gran…it wasn’t me.” Jeffrey turned and motioned for Lauryn and Brant to come forward. But Lauryn found she was frozen, unable to move at first. Brant took her hand, and pulled her with him as he went to stand next to the bed.

At once, Lauryn saw the look of startled awe as Carissa looked first to Brant and then do her. “Have I passed on, Jeffrey? The man is so akin to…to…”

Brant nodded at the woman and spoke. “I’m Brant Masterson, Mrs. McGovern. Brandon was my great uncle.” The woman’s eyes then rested on Lauryn. But Lauryn couldn’t find her voice. She could only stare down at her great aunt in stunned silence.

“
And this is Lauryn, ‘Rissy,” Nana explained. “My own granddaughter. She and Penny have been the best of friends since before they could walk.”

“
You must hate me,” Carissa cried out suddenly, looking directly at Brant. “You must think me the most vile of women.”

“
No, Ma’am,” Brant assured her. “Not at all.” Lauryn’s heart swelled with adoration for Brant…his having overcome the feelings toward Carissa that he’d experienced for a time before they’re conversation on the train.

“
I was so young,” Carissa began. “I was so young and so foolish and so jealous. And he loved her instead of me and I…I…couldn’t accept it! I was certain that…that if…”