The Gambler (26 page)

The chapel looked like it had been cobbled together by a drunken construction worker fired from Caesar’s Palace. They had tried to emulate European chapels with the domed ceiling, Corinthian columns, and stained glass, but on a much smaller scale. The effort had failed miserably.

The back wall was encased in an arch and a backlit stained glass window filled most of the space. It might have been pretty if not for the design. The panes were covered with the figures of grown men sporting short stubby wings and flowing fabric wrapped around their johnsons, which made them look like they were wearing diapers. Naked women surrounded them, gazing up in adoration. All the male figures were identical, as were the female figures, and to make matters worse, they had clearly been modeled after Angelica and Tito.

Oh. Fuck.

Crooked columns held up the arch and the platform floor in front of the window was painted a faux gray marble, as was the short aisle leading to the altar. The front of the room had held Noah’s attention so long he realized he’d missed the rest of the chapel. There were three arched niches on either side, all filled with concrete angels, which thankfully bore no resemblance to the two owners. The insides of the arches appeared to have been spray-painted a metallic gold.

The mural on the ceiling was composed of multiple scenes of a naked angel bearing a remarkable resemblance to Tito, although Noah was certain the artist had over-exaggerated the man’s penile girth and length. Angelica was there too, with wings this time, and there were multiple images of her and Tito in the throes of passion. One particularly memorable composition showed the two fornicating on a bench in a garden, with Tito thrusting from behind wearing a shit-eating grin.

Holy hell. Some things couldn’t be unseen.

Noah took several hesitant steps down the aisle, telling himself that Libby would probably love it. He suspected she was the only person on the planet who would.

It wasn’t until he stepped onto the small platform that he realized the back row of folding chairs was occupied by six men, most of whom appeared to have been plucked from a holding pen at the police station. One man wore a grungy knit cap and slurped from a can of Campbell’s soup, while another leaned his head against the wall, releasing a small snore.

“We’re all ready,” Angelica singsonged as she entered the chapel through the double doors, her hands pressed together at her breasts as if in prayer. “Your beautiful bride is ready. Shall we begin?”

He nodded, finding it difficult to push out a yes. His chest was so tight with nerves he could hardly breathe. He noticed a clock on the wall over the entrance, the hands in the shape of angel wings. 11:49. At least Libby hadn’t taken off yet.

Angelica glided over to a stereo system in the corner and pressed a button. Music poured into the room and the double doors swung open as if by magic.

Libby filled the doorway, Noah’s bouquet in her hands, looking more beautiful than he’d ever seen her. Their eyes locked and everything else fell away. However strange and unconventional this was, it was right. It was them.

The first lines of the song “Teen Angel” played on the speakers overhead—the original recording from the 1950s, from the sound of it.

“Oops, wrong song,” Angelica murmured, pressing a button that stopped the music. “That was from the last couple.”

Libby’s eyes widened and she held back a giggle.

God, he loved her.

Tinny piano music filled the room, reminding Noah of something from the 1980s. Then he realized it
was
something from the 1980s—his mother had listened to this song over and over when he was a kid. “Angel Eyes”. Was it destiny that they played his mother’s favorite song?

Angelica gave Libby an exasperated look. “Well, what are you waiting for? Tito’s about to start singing.”

Sure enough, Tito’s voice floated around them, but there was still no sign of Tito.
“Girl, you’re looking fine tonight, and every guy has got you in his sight.”

Noah had no idea where Tito could be, but he didn’t care. Libby was walking toward him with a soft smile on her lips. But then she stopped halfway down the short aisle, her eyes wide and her mouth slightly agape.

His heart skipped a beat. Had she changed her mind? 

Sensing movement behind him, he looked over his shoulder. “Oh. My. God.”

Now he dearly regretted paying for the top-of-the-line service. And to his horror, he now realized why Tito had been wearing a robe.

A hole had opened in the arched ceiling and a pair of bare, hairy legs dangled from the opening.

Tito continued to sing, putting emotion into his words as he belted out the rest of the stanza.

Noah considered grabbing Libby and running the hell out of there, but his feet were frozen as the horror continued to unfold—the lower part of Tito’s abdomen was now visible, including his fabric-draped groin.

Libby burst into hysterical laughter.

Angelica planted her hands on her hips and gave Libby a dirty look. “Shh!”

Libby covered her mouth and gave up all pretense of walking gracefully down the aisle, instead rushing over to Noah as he stepped off the platform to meet her. She grabbed his arm and whispered, “What in the hell is happening?”

“I have no fucking idea.” His gaze had found its way back to the still-emerging man. Tito’s bare chest was now visible, as was the small golden harp he held in his hands. He dropped another couple feet, then remained in place as his feet began to kick the air.

“I told you no demonic angels, Noah,” Libby whispered. 

His stomach clenched and he turned to apologize, but her grin spread from ear to ear. 

“Did you request this?”

“You actually think I
would?
” he asked in dismay.

“Asks the man who took me to see a giant hairball,” she countered in a whisper.

“Shhh!!!” Angelica hushed louder.

One of the homeless-looking guests sat up and pointed. “Hey, that man’s wearing a diaper!”

Angelica stomped her foot.
“Shh!”

But Tito was too caught up in his performance to notice the commotion. He kept belting out the song as he descended, and to add gravitas to the occasion, the front of the chapel darkened and two spotlights flashed on, bathing Tito’s now visible and very hairy chest with a warm glow. As soon as his shoulders cleared the space, two wings unfurled from his back, both covered in white and silver feathers with sparkles that caught the lights. One of the wings caught on the wire holding Tito in the air, tilting him sideways. His arms flapped and his legs kicked as he hung there, suspended three feet off the ground. He released a little yelp, but almost immediately continued to sing and strum his harp. 

Libby broke into giggles again, burying her face in Noah’s arm to muffle the sound.

A true showman, Tito jiggled enough to free his wing and landed gracefully on his feet. Without missing a beat, he turned his attention to Libby, crooning with even more earnestness as he repeated the chorus. 

“Hey.” Another man in the back shook the snoozing guy next to him. “You gotta see this.”

The younger man roused, then blinked. “Dude, what was in that weed?”

“I don’t know, but we gotta get some more.”

“Shh!!!” Angelica snarled as she grabbed their arms and pulled both them out of their seats. 

“Hey! I want to see the show,” one of them protested, but she pushed them out through the doors. The four remaining men looked startled.

“I think I should get a refund on the deluxe package,” Noah mumbled.

Libby giggled again. “Is this guy performing the ceremony?”

“Meet Tito, and I’m thinking that’s a yes.”

“Oh, my God. We’re getting married by a man wearing a diaper.”

“Nothing but the best for you, Libby St. Clair.” He grinned. “At least it’s not a skirt. And in case you’re wondering what’s underneath . . .” He motioned his head toward the ceiling.

Libby looked up and gasped, followed by a new round of giggles.

Tito finally stopped singing and cast an unamused glance at Noah and Libby. “You’ll have to come up onto the stage so I can perform the ceremony.”

Oh, crap.
How much time had they lost to Tito’s theatrics? “What time is it?”

“What?” Tito asked.

“Is it midnight yet?”

“It’s 11:55,” Angelica shouted from the back of the room. “Tito still has time for another song.” 

“How about Tito sings after he pronounces us husband and wife?” Noah asked, trying to curb his impatience. He took Libby’s hand and helped her onto the platform in front of Tito. 

“You’re carrying the bouquet,” Tito said, scrunching his nose. “I tried to convince him to use a real one.”

Noah started to explain, but she smiled up at him. “It’s beautiful. But you don’t have a boutonniere.”

“I don’t need one, Lib.”

She gave him a short scowl. “Yes you do.” 

Angelica climbed up onto the platform, taking photos with a small click and shoot camera, but from the looks of it, she was putting more of Tito in the frame than the bride and groom.

Libby ignored her and plucked a daisy from her bouquet and stuffed the stem into Noah’s coat pocket. “It’s not perfect, but it will do.”

“It fits this crazy wedding.”

She looked up at him, her face radiating happiness. “It fits us.”

He beamed with his own happiness. “Yeah, it does.”

“Are you ready for the vows?” Tito asked, sounding annoyed. “I have a beautiful service prepared for you.”

“I’m kind of curious what he’s got,” she whispered to Noah.

“Then by all means, let’s do it.”

Libby bit her upper lip, probably to hold in her laughter. “Yes, we’re ready for the vows. But can we do our own after?”

“Well, I guess.” Tito sounded miffed, but he lifted his chin. He leaned over and set the harp on the floor. “Angelica. The vows lighting.”

Angelica had been moving around getting photos, but now she hurried to the back corner.

Tito was still spotlit in his golden glow, but two softer spotlights now shone on the floor in front of him. He curled his fingers and motioned for Libby and Noah to move to their positions.

“I feel like I’m in the plot of a horror movie,” Noah muttered. “And it doesn’t end well.”

Libby burst out laughing again.

Tito’s forehead furrowed into a deep frown, but he took a deep breath and lifted his hands at his sides, holding his arms horizontal to the ground, palms up. A light shot out from behind him, putting him in silhouette as a bright light surrounded him. He closed his eyes. “And lo, I descend from above to join you two in holy matrimony.”

Libby grabbed Noah’s hand and held tight.

“Do you Elizabeth . . . uh . . .” He pulled the top of his loincloth away from his stomach and looked inside.

Noah leaned close to her and whispered, “If he takes that thing off, I’m leaving, Lib.”

She lifted her hand to her mouth and bit the side of her index finger. “Deal.”

Tito looked up and cleared his throat before returning his arms to their previous positions. “Do you, Elizabeth Gabriella St. Clair, take this man, Noah Michael McMillan, to be your husband?”

She looked up into Noah’s face, her eyes dancing. “I do.”

“To have and to hold in the angel’s glowing light?”

She took a deep breath, her shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter. “I do.”

“Will you stand by his side until his aura fades?”

She grinned. “I will.”

“Will you let his wings spread wide so that he can take flight?”

She tilted her head and gave Noah a mischievous grin. “It depends on where he’s flying off to.”

Tito’s head jutted back in surprise. “Oh.”

“I’ll take it,” Noah said, squeezing her hand. “I’m not planning to fly anywhere without her.”

Tito looked confused by the alteration to his vows.

“Noah Michael McMillan, do you take Elizabeth Gabriella St. Clair to be your wife?”

The words filled him with more hope and joy than he thought possible. “I do.”

“To have and to hold in the angel’s glowing light?”

Her eyes twinkled with mischief. God, he loved her. He never suspected he could ever love anyone this much. “I do.”

“Will you stand by her side until her aura fades?”

He shook his head, lifting his hand to cup her cheek. “Her aura will never fade. Impossible.”

Her eyes glistened as she looked up at him with unabashed love. “Oh, Noah.”

“Um . . . okay . . .” Tito fumbled, clearly unsure what to do.

“I’ve got this, Tito.” Noah reached for Libby’s hands and held them gently in front of him. “Libby, I’m so grateful Josh tricked Megan into letting him be her fiancé.”

Tito’s eyes widened. “Huh?”

“If he hadn’t tried to steal information about her father’s business, we might never have met.”

Tito’s eyes widened even wider.

“I’ve had more fun with you in the last five months than in the previous four hundred and ten combined. But more importantly, I’ve found my best friend. You make me a better man, Libby St. Clair, and I can’t wait start our lives together in Seattle—you, me, and Tortoise.”

She smiled up at him, tears in her eyes. “Noah, you’ve been there for me when everyone else almost gave up on me. Thank you for the last two days, which were exactly what I needed. You’re the only one who’s ever really understood me. But more importantly, you’re the only person in this world I can completely trust. Thank you.”

“Oh, Lib.” He brushed away a tear. “I promise I’ll never let you down.”

“I’m counting on that.”

Tito studied them for a moment and shrugged, then picked up his harp. “The rings.”

Noah tilted his head and grinned. “If he pulls them out of his diaper,” he whispered into her ear, “I’m not using them.”

“We have rings?”

Tito began strumming an unrecognizable tune on the harp, then said in a theatrical voice, “Release the doves.”

Angelica opened a small cabinet door on the wall and two white birds flew out and swooped around the room.

Noah’s mouth dropped open. “You have
got
to be kidding me.”

Libby started laughing again. “It’s perfect!”