The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex (52 page)

Before Jane attempts penetration, she starts by teasing Tarzan’s anus with her finger. She applies plenty of lubricant with her fingers, taking the time to really work the lubricant past the anal opening and into the rectum. (Some people find it helpful to co-opt a vaginal cream applicator to insert lube well into the rectum.) Once Tarzan’s anus is happy and relaxed and able to comfortably accommodate two of Jane’s fingers, Jane positions the tip of her banana-shaped dildo at Tarzan’s anal opening and holds it there. Tarzan inhales and exhales a few times, while contracting and relaxing his sphincter muscles. When he feels ready, he bears down onto Jane’s banana. Jane moves forward into him ever so slightly, but she holds the dildo still just inside his rectum while his muscles adjust to the sensation. After Tarzan has gotten used to the sensation of fullness, he asks Jane to move her hips slowly back and forth.

Tarzan and Jane quickly become expert in anal intercourse, and try all the following positions. In missionary position, Tarzan lies on his back with his knees pulled to his chest and his feet over Jane’s shoulders. This allows for deep penetration, prostate stimulation, and face-to-face contact, though Tarzan doesn’t have much freedom of movement and sometimes his legs get cramped.

In rear entry, Tarzan is on his elbows and knees, while Jane penetrates him from behind. Jane likes the fact that this position allows her to do a lot of pelvic thrusting, while Tarzan likes the deep penetration it affords, not to mention that Jane can easily reach around and play with his penis. Sometimes they try a variation where both are standing up with Tarzan bent slightly at the waist and bracing himself against a tree. When Tarzan wants total control of the rate of penetration, Jane lies on her back while he straddles her and sits down on the dildo. This is a convenient position in which to stimulate each other. When neither of them wants to support the weight of the other, they lie side by side in a spoons position. While this does not allow for deep penetration or much thrusting movement, it’s a comfortable, intimate position that allows for lots of full-body stimulation.

You may want to try all the same positions as Tarzan and Jane, or you may make up your own variations. Just stick to the golden rule of anal sex, and make sure that the receptive partner has ultimate control over the movement and pace of penetration. Some people get an added erotic thrill by identifying anal intercourse as a power play, in which the receptive partner is the submissive bottom under the control of his or her dominant penetrator. This dynamic can enhance your experience, especially if you are aroused by the taboo of anal sex as a forbidden activity. There are just as many people for whom power play would be distasteful and who prefer to experience anal intercourse as an equal melding together of two bodies.

When being fucked I like to straddle my partner who is lying on his back. I like to have control of how the penis enters me until I’ve loosened up enough to actually be fucked by him. When fucking I like to be sitting up with my partner sitting in my lap so that we can kiss and play with each other’s nipples—so that it seems more equal than dominant/submissive.

Intercourse Enhancers

Additional Stimulation

People’s preferences with regard to how much and what kind of additional stimulation they crave during intercourse can range from “less is more” to “more is more.”

I don’t like a lot of extra stimulation during fucking, preferring to concentrate on the act.

I don’t think two people have enough hands to stimulate everything that wants to get stimulated on me!

There is nothing better than vaginal, anal, and clitoral stimulation all at once, especially if I have my nipple clips on at the same time!

We ourselves, as you may have guessed, are of the “more is more” school, and we encourage you to experiment with a wide range of sensations during intercourse. Take advantage of the fact that intercourse is a full-body experience. While you are joined at the hips, your hands and mouths can roam freely over each other’s chests, backs, shoulders, butts, and thighs. You may want to focus attention on traditional erogenous zones, or you may find the unexpected arousing.

I love having the hair on my head pulled, especially at the back of my neck.

I really enjoy being scratched on my legs, not too hard, but hard enough. I enjoy having my nipples bitten and my chest rubbed (I sound like a pine cabinet!).

I like it when a man slowly introduces his tongue in my mouth and fucks my mouth with his tongue the exact same way his cock is fucking my cunt. At that point, my mouth comes alive and my imagination soars.

During penetration, I love having my breasts touched at all times. The whole breast, not just the nipple.

Fingers are a bit of a turn-off quite honestly unless they are inserted with a penis, preferably on the perineum side of the vagina. Doing this with two fingers and moving them around while the penis is fully inserted (and holding still) I find very sexy and physically stimulating.

As mentioned above, the majority of women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm during intercourse. Who provides the stimulation may depend on what position you’re in. In the missionary or woman-on-top positions, it can be easier for a woman to stimulate herself.

I usually only climax with clitoral stimulation, so this for me is a must. I prefer to do it while I enjoy my partner stimulating my nipples. Oh yes, put a tongue in my ear and your teeth across the back of my neck.

Rear entry or spoons are convenient positions if you want to reach around and stimulate your partner’s clitoris. Some women find that, once they are sufficiently aroused, the indirect clitoral stimulation from intercourse is enough to bring them to orgasm, and that additional direct clitoral stimulation might numb them out.

Sometimes clitoral stimulation distracts me when I’m getting ready to come while fucking.

I like clitoral stimulation beforehand, but if I get too much I lose sensitivity.

Both men and women can appreciate having their nipples stimulated during intercourse. Face-to-face positions allow you to suck, lick, and bite each other’s nipples, while nearly all positions allow for nipple pinching and tweaking. Many people find that the more aroused they are, the more vigorous attention their nipples crave.

Nipple stimulation is practically mandatory to a “hot” experience. I can practically come with a combination of tit biting/licking and lip kissing. The hotter I get, the harder I like my nipples tweaked/pinched. I get annoyed if my partner is gentle with my nipples.

I love breast stimulation even to the point of it hurting—actually, that really gets me hot.

Nipple stimulation gets me “over the top” and into orgasm faster than anything.

I have neurological disabilities. It took me a long time to understand that it’s okay to have my nipple pinched while I masturbate—it speeds up my ejaculation time.

I have a nipple piercing, which feels good if it is gently played with.

Anal stimulation is another popular intercourse enhancer for men and women alike. Preferred techniques range from the simple pressure of a finger or thumb stroking the anal opening, to some form of penetration: a finger, several fingers, a dildo, or a plug. Nearly every intercourse position lends itself handily to one or both partners reaching around to play with the other’s anus. Men may enjoy feeling a finger stroking the prostate gland during intercourse—to do so, reach about three inches into the rectum, and stroke toward the front of his body. Some women find double penetration extremely arousing. It provides stimulation of the sensitive perineal area between the vagina and anus, while the sensation of pressure on both sides of the vaginal wall can be quite exciting for both parties involved. Of course, for every woman who finds double penetration double the fun, there’s a woman who finds it unpleasantly overwhelming.

My favorite thing is to have a butt plug in while I’m fucking a penis, a finger, or a dildo. That’s a great feeling—like you are totally filled.

I enjoy anal stimulation/penetration, but combined with vaginal penetration, it’s sometimes distracting.

Many men also appreciate having their testicles played with during intercourse. Try reaching between his legs and forming your fingers into a ring around his scrotum and the base of his penis. Either hold on, applying a gentle pressure, or tug gently on the scrotum. You could also try palming each testicle separately, but bear in mind that a fluttering, light touch may feel more ticklish than sexy.

My favorite stimulation during intercourse is a firm yet gentle grasping of the entire scrotal sac. It conveys a sense of control that overcomes my wife’s sexual reticence.

I like to have a woman stroke and squeeze my testicles during sex.

Spatial Arrangements

From the humble pillow to the elaborate pleasure swing, devices that adjust your physical positioning are time-honored intercourse enhancers. If you’re penetrating a woman who’s lying on her back, try raising her hips by placing pillows beneath them. This elevated posture allows for deeper penetration—also, the angle of penetration will follow the natural curve of the vagina, allowing your pubic bone to rub against her clitoris. Similarly, if you’re penetrating a man who’s lying on his stomach, he may enjoy having pillows piled beneath his pelvis. Some men (and women) prefer to masturbate by rubbing against a pillow or bolster and can easily employ this useful technique during rear-entry intercourse.

You can also enhance your positioning by having one person sitting or lying down, while the other person stands. For instance, your partner can lie on his or her back at the side of the bed, while you stand on the floor or kneel against the side of the bed. This allows your partner the leverage to raise and lower his or her legs and hips for different angles of penetration, while it provides a delightful weightless feeling. Alternatives include intercourse with the receptive partner perched on a table or counter. Different heights will obviously work better for different-sized people.

For the ultimate weightless sensation, try a swing or sling. Hanging chairs have been in existence since ancient times, testament to the timeless appeal of being suspended in midair. Your partner can sit in the swing, being rocked to-and-fro onto your penis or dildo, or your partner can straddle you while you lie in the swing. Many people find that being cradled in a swing creates a relaxed, receptive state that greatly enhances and facilitates deep penetration, G-spot stimulation, or fisting. Swings are enjoyed by pregnant women and large people, who may particularly appreciate a temporary release from gravity. They’re also a boon to folks who suffer from debilitating back pains or other disabilities that limit stamina and mobility.

Whether you’re using a simple hammock or a genuine sex swing complete with adjustable straps and stirrups for the legs, installation is a far simpler undertaking than you might think. All you need are two or three eyebolts and some lengths of chain, both of which are easily purchased at any hardware store. Make sure to screw the eyebolts into ceiling beams, rather than into plaster, and use the lengths of chain to adjust the height of the swing to your specifications. Voilà. Not only will you be the envy of all your friends, but you’ll never have trouble getting a housesitter when you want to go on vacation!

Vibrators

The same toys that provide delightful stimulation during solo sex are ready and waiting to serve you and your loved ones during partner sex. One of the most common reasons a male/female or female/female couple gives for buying a vibrator is that they’d like to increase clitoral stimulation during intercourse. Penetrating a partner provides direct stimulation to the most sensitive part of a man’s penis—his glans—and therefore the vast majority of men reach orgasm from intercourse alone. The majority of women, however, require additional attention to the clitoris to reach orgasm during intercourse. This is where a vibrator can be of invaluable assistance.

Any and every style of vibrator can be incorporated into intercourse. It’s easy to tuck a battery vibrator or vibrating egg between two bodies, and it’s even possible for a woman to take a no-hands approach and wear a vibrator between her legs in a leather pouch or harness. You may be worried that introducing a Hitachi Magic Wand into your intercourse routine will be the equivalent of slipping between the sheets with a Mack truck, but it ain’t so. Even the larger plug-in vibrators rest unobtrusively against a woman’s clitoris when you’re in woman-on-top, rear-entry, or side-by-side positions. Some people also find it comfortable to slip a wand vibrator between their pelvises while in missionary position. Coil vibrators are a less convenient shape to position between two bodies, but you may find that a long G-Spotter attachment on a coil vibrator provides the perfect way to reach the clitoris while holding the vibrator off to the side of your bodies.

As even the most attentive lover can become distracted by his or her own pleasure during intercourse, your best bet would be for the receptive partner to hold the vibrator and control its intensity, pressure, and positioning. You may want to experiment with placing a vibrating cock ring at the base of your penis or dildo, though since this moves on and off your partner’s clitoris in time with your thrusts, the cock ring won’t provide reliable, consistent clitoral stimulation. Yet it will provide consistent stimulation to the penis, which some men like (and some men find overwhelming).