The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex (53 page)

Men whose partners are using a vibrator during intercourse are often pleasantly surprised at how good the indirect vibrations transmitted through their partner’s body feel on their own genitals. A man being penetrated may enjoy holding a vibrator against his penis in all the ways described above.

French Ticklers

These are devices that look like a cross between a condom and a Creepy Crawler. They fit like a cap over the head of a penis or dildo, and they’re covered with rubber nubs and fronds. The idea behind French ticklers is that the sensation of the little tickling fronds going in and out of a woman’s vaginal opening will somehow be unutterably pleasing to her. Presumably, French ticklers sprang from the same great minds who brought us textured condoms. While we certainly believe there are some women who might derive pleasure from the sensation of rubber nubs or ribbed condoms whispering in and out of their vaginas, the whole notion has about as much in common with the average woman’s experience as does the story of the princess and the pea.

French ticklers and a few other stimulus-styled condoms didn’t work with women and annoyed me.

About ribbed condoms: Thanks for making me feel like I have no nerve endings. I couldn’t tell the difference. Can anyone?

On the bright side, whether or not they float your boat, French ticklers are often good for a laugh:

In my late twenties, I was visiting a friend in England and we were traveling around the countryside in a VW van, visiting various tourist attractions and pubs. One night as we got ready to turn in, he went to take a leak and came back from the restroom sporting a bright red French tickler. All I could think was, “It looks just like a little rubber rooster!” Unfortunately, I let that comment slip out, and we both dissolved in laughter that made sex impossible.

One variation on the French tickler has some pleasure potential. This is a rubber ring with a knob protruding off one side. The ring is designed to fit around the base of a penis or dildo, with the knob positioned upward, so that it will rub against the woman’s clitoris during intercourse. Not every woman will be able to get the knob positioned comfortably or to get consistent, sufficiently intense stimulation from it, but at least this device reflects a rudimentary knowledge of female anatomy. We suspect the primary function of these doohickeys—for lack of a technical name, called “clit rugs”—is as a communication tool for initiating the subject of clitoral stimulation during intercourse.

My favorite sex toy is something we call “the rubber thing.” It came in the mail with a box of condoms.

I refuse to call it a “French tickler,” since it looks like it came from a factory in New Jersey. Some may call it a “cock ring.” It has an added appendage for strategic female stimulation during the act of union. But whatever you call ’em, they’re great!

Cock Rings

These are rings designed to fit around the base of the penis and the scrotum, restricting blood flow out of the penis. The resulting pressure can be very pleasurable and can heighten sensation in the penis and testicles. Since cock rings act to constrict the veins that would allow blood to drain out of an erection, some men find that wearing cock rings prolongs their erection or even makes their erection firmer, a side effect that can enhance intercourse for both parties involved.

My most enjoyable sex toy was a cock ring. It was interesting and added about two hours until my orgasm, and when I came—Wow, Bam, Pow, Shazam….

I like when he uses a cock ring and fucks me with his enlarged and super-hard cock.

I enjoy the feel and look a cock ring provides. When I get aroused without the cock ring, my balls pull way up into my body and almost disappear. With the ring around my scrotum, they stay out. It looks great without being painful or uncomfortable.

Of course, this sensation of pressure that some men find arousing may be downright antierotic to others.

Our most disappointing sex toy was a cock ring. My partner said it hurt too much for him to enjoy anything else.

If you wear a cock ring that is too tight or if you wear it for too long, you’ll cut off your circulation and you may experience bruising. In most cases, the damage from burst blood vessels is minor and only temporary, but why risk it? Stick to wearing easily removable cock rings and don’t wear them for more than twenty minutes at a time. Try not to fall asleep with your cock ring on. Some men do enjoy wearing cock rings for hours at a stretch, but you should only do this after you’ve gained enough experience to have a realistic sense of your own limits.

Cock ring

Cock rings come in three varieties: metal, latex, or leather. The only way to don the solid metal or latex variety is to put them on before you’re erect. You’ll need to drop one testicle at a time through the ring and then tuck your flaccid penis down through the ring. Metal cock rings should really only be used by men who have considerable experience with these toys. After all, once you’ve got the darn thing on, and it’s constricting the flow of blood out of your erection, orgasm will be the only pleasant way to make your erection subside. If your metal cock ring begins to feel painfully tight, and you want to remove it, you have two options. One option is to apply ice or cold water to your penis, which should shrink that erection down to size. An even less appealing option would be to go to the emergency room and have the ring clipped off. Latex cock rings are slightly less problematic, as you can cut these off as necessary in the privacy of your own home without resorting to power tools.

My boyfriend and I decided that it would be fun to try a cock ring, so he bought one to take on holiday with us last year. He thought the quick-release styles looked like torture instruments, so he bought a metal one, reckoning it would be a safer bet!!! How wrong he was. One night, after a couple of drinks, we decided to try it out. I took a while to get the thing on, as he kept getting hard during the process, but once it was in place it looked pretty good, and so I got on top and started to work my magic. After a few minutes I jumped off to try something different and noticed that his balls had gone a funny shade of blue. I started to panic and had images of having to phone for several Cypriot firemen to appear at the door with bolt cutters to free my boyfriend’s cock. After running around the room laughing, I tried cooling him off a bit with some ice but this didn’t do much. When he finally went limp, I whisked off the ring and we breathed a sigh of relief—no need for the bolt cutters! Since then, we have warned many of our friends never to experiment with a metal cock ring!

When all’s said and done, you’re better off with the leather strap variety. These fasten with either snaps or Velcro, and the moment you begin to experience any discomfort you can unfasten them and release the pressure. Furthermore, leather cock-and-ball toys are available in a delightful array of styles: Some have straps that separate each testicle; some have straps that stretch the testicles downwards; some are fitted with
D
-rings, so that you can attach a leash to them; and some are decoratively studded. Leather cock-and-ball toys provide not only sexual but also aesthetic stimulation to the wearer and his partner.

Kegels

Don’t forget that one of the easiest, most effective ways to enhance any type of penetration is to keep your pelvic muscles well toned. Kegel exercises can provide a delightful way to “warm up” before intercourse, because they increase blood flow to the genitals and heighten awareness of genital sensation. A toned muscle is a flexible muscle, and you’re likely to experience a great deal more pleasure with strong pelvic muscles than without. Your partner can also enjoy feeling you rhythmically contract and relax your pelvic muscles during intercourse.

Safer Sex

Please don’t ever engage in either vaginal or anal intercourse without following some basic safer-sex guidelines. Penis-vagina and penis-anus intercourse are activities that transmit viruses and bacteria with alarming efficiency. The friction of intercourse can easily create minute breaks in the tissue of the vagina, rectum, or penis, through which bodily fluids can pass. We encourage you to refer to the Safer Sex chapter for a detailed discussion of safer sex techniques and risk management.

Intercourse without Penetration

One of the reasons people frequently give for enjoying intercourse is that it allows them simultaneous genital stimulation and full-body contact. We didn’t want to leave the topic of intercourse without pointing out that it’s possible to reap these simultaneous benefits independent of penetration. Penetration by a penis is fraught with so many consequences, from pregnancy to disease transmission, that it’s a shame the variety of full-body “intercourse” techniques aren’t more widely discussed and encouraged. Dry humping is dismissed as an archaic adolescent activity simply because it doesn’t involve sticking one body part into another. Yet few things feel better than rubbing two bodies against each other, and as anyone who’s ever humped a lover’s thigh until she or he saw stars knows, there’s nothing “dry” about dry humping.

I love to rub against both men and women. I can easily have an orgasm by persistently rubbing against anything hard, like legs.

Dry humping can be a big turn-on, especially when my boyfriend has an erection, and I can feel it through his clothes.

Certain terms for dry humping have come to be associated exclusively with lesbian sex:
frottage
(from the French
frotter,
to rub) and
tribadism
(from the Greek
tribein,
to rub). Both describe the activity of rubbing your clitoris against any part of your partner’s body that gets you off, such as her pubic bone, thigh, hip, elbow, or knee. One of the great things about dry humping is its ease and versatility. You can be naked or clothed; rolling around the floor in the privacy of your own home or climbing onto each other in the back seat of a parked car; locked in a full embrace or poised on one another’s knees.

Intercourse without penetration

I really enjoy tribadism with women—I lie on my back, wrap my legs around them, and rock—thrilling.

My girlfriend jokingly tells me it’s not her I love but her leg. When we’re naked, I love to close my eyes and straddle one of her delicious thighs, rubbing my cunt slowly and firmly up and down.

Given the full expanse of your partner’s body as your playground, you may be surprised to discover how creative you both can be.

I love riding my lover’s back. When he’s too tired or worn out for sex and I’m raring to go, my lover rolls over to offer me his tailbone. It works very well. I straddle his lower back so that my clit is against the hardness of his tailbone right above the beginning of his bum. I usually lean forward with my hands on his shoulders. I ride just like I would if his cock were inside me. It’s plenty of stimulation for my clit and when I do the downward stroke the bump of his tailbone almost feels like the very tip of a penis on the verge of entering me. A highly enjoyable and easy way for me to cum. Also, tired or not, my lover loves the noises I make when I’m getting off so this is a favorite activity of his as well.

Once I was about to take my girlfriend’s boots off, and I got inspired to rub my cunt on the toe of her boot. She just lay back in a chair watching me, while I gave her a “shoeshine” she’ll never forget.

Another variation on dry humping especially for men is
interfemoral
or
intercrural intercourse.
These are the terms for rubbing your penis between your partner’s thighs and getting off from the friction this creates. Some classical scholars speculate that this was actually the primary type of intercourse indulged in between Athenian male citizens and the young boys they initiated into adulthood. So much for the popular notion that all those classical Greeks were obsessed with anal intercourse! Variations include rubbing your penis against your partner’s perineum, between the cheeks of his or her butt, or in his or her armpit. Tit-fucking—rubbing your penis in between your partner’s breasts—is yet another variation on this theme.