The Guide to Getting It On

REVIEWS

(from the back cover of the printed version)

“You’ve never read a manual as warm, friendly, liberating, thorough and potentially sex-life-changing as the Guide To Getting It On. Neither had anyone in our office, which may be why our copies keep disappearing.”   
OPRAH MAGAZINE

“One of the few books about sex that you actually want to sit down and read.”   
PLAYBOY ADVISOR

“Blows all other sex guides out of the water.”   
BABELAND

“In our vast library of sex books, this is by far and away the most human, enlightening and entertaining read of the lot. I’ll be recommending it until my keyboard wears out.   
COSMOPOLITAN MAGAZINE, UK

“The only sex manual you’ll ever need!”   
ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE

“If you’re going to own just one instructional book about sex, this is the one. Funny, hip and informative, it covers every topic a couple could possibly be curious about.”   
Jamye Waxman / WOMEN’S HEALTH MAGAZINE

“A world-class sex manual. Whoever you are and however much sexual experience you’ve had, you will benefit from reading this book. I can’t recommend it too highly.”   
JOURNAL OF HUMAN RELATIONS

“The most playful and sensitive book I’ve read on sex – it’s funny, irreverent, intelligent and refreshingly honest.”   
Adrienne Benedicks / LIBIDO

No other how-to book on sex has won as many awards or is used in as many college sex-ed courses as the
Guide To Getting It On
.

Guide To Getting It On!

Seventh Edition

V. 7.01 2013

Copyright © 2013 by Goofy Foot Press

All rights reserved. More or less.

Publisher’s Cataloging-In-Publication

Joannides, Paul N.

Guide to getting it on! / Paul Joannides, author;

Daerick Gross, illustrator.-- 7th ed.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

eBook ISBN: 978-1-885535-07-8

1. Sex instruction. 2. Sex. 3. Man-woman

relationships. 1. Gross,Daerick. 11. Title.

HQ31.J63 2013 613.9’6

Goofy Foot Press

Oregon, U.S.A.

www.goofyfootpress.com

Made in the U.S.A.

Fair Use

Feel free to copy up to 250 words of this book, except for quotations and song lyrics, as long as the title, author and publisher are cited. That’s called fair use. Reproducing more than 250 words by any means (electronic, Internet, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without written permission from the publisher is theft. It is illegal. The only exception is if you are writing a legitimate book review. Copy the illustrations from this book without written permission, and we will send Guido to break your kneecaps.

Warning & Disclaimer

Hard as we tried, this Guide isn’t perfect nor was it intended as a final authority on sex. There will be times when it is better to consult your beautician, bartender, or best friend. You might also speak to a physician or licensed sex therapist. Ultimately, it is your body and your sexuality—venture beyond the bounds of common sense at your own peril.

This book talks about sex acts which are illegal in some parts of the universe. Know your state or nation's laws about sex and break them at your own risk; prison sentences, public stonings or beheadings could result.

No one involved with the writing or publishing of this book is a physician or licensed sex therapist, although members of these professions have been consulted on thorny issues. The people who have contributed ideas to this book are mostly psychologists, psychoanalysts, social workers, lawyers, teachers, writers, a couple of surfers, and even a prostitute and a priest. The actual writing was done by a mental-health professional. Just because some of these people have college degrees doesn’t mean they know any more about sex or sexual relationships than you do. They all struggle at times. Still, their perspective might be helpful and even refreshing.

While the techniques mentioned in this book work well for some people, they might not be good for you. Check with a physician or licensed sex therapist before attempting any sexual act that you are unfamiliar with, or do so at your own risk and with the understanding that bad things might happen. Consult with a physician if you have any condition which precludes strenuous exercise or erotic activity.

All readers, except those who are trying to get pregnant, are encouraged to use birth control and to adopt a medically-sound strategy for avoiding sexually transmitted infections. However, no form of birth control is foolproof,
and diseases have been known to outsmart the finest of barriers. These are normal consequences of having sex and are not the fault of this book.

This book was written to help expand the consciousness of its readers. Neither Goofy Foot Press nor any of its minions shall be liable or responsible to any person or entity for any loss, damage, injury or ailment caused, or
alleged to be caused, directly or indirectly, by the information or lack of information contained in this book.

This book contains anatomical illustrations which are at best simple approximations. If your anatomy differs from what is shown, take heart. Hopefully there is at least some similarity with what’s beneath your clothes and what’s between these covers.

If you do not wish to be bound by this disclaimer, please return this book with a photocopy of the sales receipt to the publisher for a full refund.

Changes

(Then and Now)

The founders of Facebook were nine years old. Dial-up was the way you got online. There was no texting, online dating, or videos on the Internet. Google? Amazon? Didn’t exist.

When I started writing the
Guide To Getting It On,
scientists still clung to the notion that men wanted sex more than women and that women wanted to be in long-term relationships so they could have more children. I suppose we should be thankful that I began writing
The Guide
while sitting on the warm sands of beaches in Southern California. You couldn’t help but look at the women on those beaches and know that science had it all wrong.

The first edition of the
Guide To Getting It On
was 369 pages long. This edition is 1,184 pages. Many things have changed since the first edition went to press. Yet humans still have the same genitals and a lot of us still want sex to be special. Hopefully, you’ll have as much fun with this new edition as readers did with the first.

The Guide Goes to College

I never expected
The Guide
would be used in more than 50 college sex education courses. Then students started telling me the book was the best sex-magnet ever. They would leave it out for others to see, and sex would often happen. (Why it’s used in medical schools I’ll never know. Medical students don’t have time for sex.)

The first college to assign
The Guide
to students was Santa Barbara City College. I used to drive up to Santa Barbara to hand deliver the books. Santa Barbara City College will be one of the first colleges to receive this new edition. Now, however, students order the book online.

Teens — The Missing Link

Over the years, people have asked me “why don’t you write a version of
The Guide
for teenagers?” As far as I could tell, this would have meant writing a watered-down version of
The Guide
with little purpose other than to make parents think their teens didn’t need the real thing. I suppose I could have called it “the training wheels version” or the
Guide To Getting To First Base.

To me, this version—the big people’s version of
The Guide
—has always been as much for teenagers as for adults, but it’s only been recently that parents have been able to handle my saying so, and only in some parts of the country. So what’s changed? Porn on the Internet has become THE sex educator for almost every middle-school child on the continent. Given what kids can see on their phones and laptops today, no one can accuse the illustrations in this book of being too explicit for teenage eyes.

Sex education in schools is mostly about all of the bad things that can happen when you have sex. Pleasure and fun have been left out of the equation. Sex educators risk losing their jobs if they discuss exploring and learning about one’s sexual self. At least porn pretends to be about pleasure. Many students find it to be more relevant than what they’re getting in school.

Not only do today’s teenagers need accurate information about sex and making love, they also need help in understanding the roles that sex can play in people’s lives. And that isn’t something they’re getting from porn.

A Million vs. A Billion

At some point during the life of the seventh edition, more than a million copies of
The Guide
will have been printed. China and Turkey are the latest countries to do their own translations.

The best way I know to thank those of you who have been so helpful over the years is to assure you that this new edition hasn’t shed an ounce of attitude or taken a single short cut.
The Guide
continues to provide a beam of hope during a time when more than two billion dollars have been spent on “abstinence-only” and “abstinence-based” programs to misinform an entire generation about sex.