The Guide to Getting It On (179 page)

Bev Cutler, Cyrus Farivar, Kayla Strassfeld, Adrienne Benedicks, Inger Klekacz, Ryan Hanson, Todd Hawley, Dan Cullinane, Trena Jayne, Leslie Rossman, Michael Meller, Franka Schmidt Zastrow, Anke Vogel, Ralph Bolton, Dmitri Siegel, Denise Westmoreland, Harry Gilmartin & Karen Kummerfeldt, Janet Hardy, Jay Wiseman, Matt Torrey, Dan Culliane, Kirk Groeneveld, David Hoffert, William W. Young, Claire Yang, Alessandra Rellini, Marca Sipski, Marilyn Milos, Stanley Althof, Violet Blue, Braxton Sherouse, Annie Bradford, Joe Pittman.

Matt Comito, Rose Reed, Janice Hamilton, Larry Hedges, Barbara Keesling, Debra Hanson, Steven Wales, Avedis Panajian, Bill Young, Rob Hill, John & Miss Kelly, Nancy “Professor B” Carmel Eyes, Carol Bee, Ron, Steve, Linda & Jeanette at Old Town Printers (RIP), Martha and the staff at the Newport City Library.

Jon Westover, Morgan & Burce Yarrosh, Suzanne LaPlacette, Mike Fischler, Wanda Moore, Veronica Monet, Monte Farrin, Dixie Marquis, Mike Conway, Karen Saliba, Carol Tavris, Michael Kogutek, Katherine Almy, BJ Robbins, Ken Sherman, Bob & Kim Otto, Duncan Rouleau, Bill Applebaum, Nancy Reaven, Bruce Voeller, Andre Deuschanes, Meridith Tanzer, Roan Singh Sidhu, Evan Rapostathis, Kenny Wagner, Ross Rubin, Paula Samuels, Daphne Rose Kingma, Cathryn Michon, Diane Driscoll, Billy Rumpanos, Ben Fiorino, Ray Calabrese, Diana Heiselu, Judy Seifer, Randi Lockwood, Breta Hedges, Brent Myers, Ron Goosen, Pat Lincoln, Alison Rosenzweig, Marty Gilliland, Val Littou, Mat Honig, Sheryl Palese, Chip Rowe, Kathy Herdman, Jack McHugh, Pat Patterson, Dana Smart, Laura Corn, Elizabeth Olsen, Pam Winter, Judy Linnan, Theresa Benedick, Joe Sparling, Carol Queen, Lily & Bill & Louie at Sir Speedy, Monte at Input/Output, Joe Marsh at the Earthling (RIP), JuliannPopp, Jason Aronson, Bill & Beryl Johnson, Karen Seemueller, Christianna Billman and Lisa Blai , Glenn Knight, Emily Gudhe, Barbara Seamen.

Connie Overholser, Phil Bruno, Pam White, Jan Nathan, Terry Nathan, Peter Handel, Carol Fass, Eda Kalkay, Leslie Rossman, Patricia Holt, Adrienne Benedicks, Heidi Cotler, Babs Adamsky, Kevin Samsel, Mark Collins, Vince Darkangelo, Jon Cooper, Kris Lorret Rourke, Ben Saltzberg, Whitney Thomas, Stacie Herndon, Genanne Walsh, Rachael Cart, Joanie Blank,Constance Claire, Gretta, Christophe and Heather Shaw from Blowfish, John Davis, Leonore Tiefer, Marian Dunn, Michael Metz, Julian Slowinski, Katherine Hall, Helen Fisher, Dodie Ownes.

Andrea Best, Adam Moore, John Money, Rob Hardy, Kristen Kemp, Nooshin Thorpe, Carol Briezke, Esther Crain, Julia Gaynor, Carol Edington, Paul Harrington, Ed Alcocer, Diane Morrison, Elizabeth Lee. William Erwin, Donald Marcus, Verne Graham, Brett Miller, Joe Casella, Anne Katz, Donna Coomer.

Glossary of Sexual Slang in Popular & Unpopular Culture

A2M—means “ass-to-mouth.” Sucking on a partner’s penis after it has been up your butt or someone else’s. Way more popular in porn than in real life.

AC/DC—1. a bisexual; enjoys bedding members of either sex; “ambisexterous,” “switch-hitter,” or “versatile.” 2. Successful heavy metal band, now geezer-rock.

ADULT GRAPHICS COMMUNITY—3-D adult erotic art, comics and animation created by graphic artists in programs like Poser, Daz Studio and Photoshop. Premier website: www.renderotica.com.

AFRODESIAC—sexy-looking black man.

AFTER MARKET—a biological female whose genitals have been surgically constructed to appear male, as opposed to “factory-equipped” or “original equipment;” aka: “F2M transsexual.”

AFTERNOON DELIGHT—sex in the afternoon; “a nooner.”

AGE PLAY—sexual role-playing where one partner pretends to be older and in control while the other pretends to be much younger.

AIRHEAD—in a discussion on the effects of global warming, an airhead would want to know how it would affect her tan lines; “bimbo.”

AIRPLANE BLOND (US) or AEROPLANE BLOND (UK):—a woman who has dyed her hair but still has a black box. When the carpet doesn’t match the curtains.

AMATEUR—a genre of porn that’s supposed to be the real deal, allegedly created at home by real-life, red-blooded, horny housewives, hubbies with hard-ons, naughty neighbors, slutty sorority sisters, and sinful swingers (according to one porn review site). Prides itself in being free of the gloss, glitter and “high production values” of studio porn.

AMBIEN SEX—the website of the prescription sleeping pill Ambien warns that individuals who are taking Ambien have been known to engage in “complex behaviors (e.g., preparing and eating food, making phone calls, or having sex)” while not fully awake. Now, you’d think this would be like having sex with a zombie, but spouses have claimed that their Ambien-taking partners become very uninhibited and initiate some seriously intense and wild sex after taking a normal dose. While the person might seem totally awake, they often don’t remember a thing about it the next day. Small doses of Ambien after a glass of wine have resulted in the same kind of uninhibited sex with no memory of it. So if your partner initiates sex after taking Ambien, it’s best to talk it over with her the next day, because even though she is initiating the sex, she isn’t in control of her actions. (Some women will say “that’s rape, don’t you dare,” while others will encourage you to go for it but lament that they won’t be able to remember the great sex they were having.) Is it no wonder Ambien has become the leading date rape drug?

AMERICAN CULTURE—refers to traditional, missionary-position intercourse.

AMPALANG OR PALANG—a horizontal piercing through the head of the penis.

ANAL STRETCHING—what you do if you are into body modification and want your anus to achieve a much larger diameter than is normal. Also using a butt plug or dildo to help accommodate a penis.

ANAL—a blanket term for anal sex, anal play and rimming. Also refers to a person who struggles with orderliness and perfectionism to a point of not being able to complete things. Tends to be rigid and stubborn. People need to be at least somewhat anal to succeed in life, but more than that and they drive everyone around them crazy with their anal compulsiveness.

ANAL BEADS—worry beads for the rectum, to be pulled out as orgasm is beginning. Since the anus has an extreme number of nerve endings, pulling out the beads can help intensify the feelings of orgasm. They come in many sizes and configurations; “pearl string.”

ANAL BLEACHING—rather than an attempt to turn the rectal mustache blonde, this is an attempt to bleach the dark skin that anal hair grows out of. Some porn stars apparently slather skin fade cream on their brownish anal openings to make them pink. Makers of age-spot creams haven’t included “anuses” on their list of body parts that are safe to bleach.

ANALINGUS—kissing or licking ass; “rimming.”

ANDRO DYKE—a lesbian who is neither butch nor fem, “butch lite.”

ANDROGEN INSENSITIVITY SYNDROME (AIS)—a genetic anomaly where an embryo with XY chromosomes is not sensitive to androgens. Androgens are the masculinizing hormones that push a male embryo out of its female-like state and result in male genitals and a masculinized brain. There are different kinds of AIS, including complete, partial and mild. With complete AIS, the baby is born a female, with a feminized brain and a vulva. Her vagina can be a bit short, and she doesn’t have a cervix or uterus. As for appearances, she can be as plain or striking as any other woman, and she is a woman in almost every way except for a short bit of code on one of her chromosomes. A lot of women with AIS don’t even find out until their late teens, when they go to a gynecologist because their periods haven’t started. AIS is known as an intersex condition.

ANDROGYNOUS—not really masculine or feminine. Can you name three androgynous rock’n’roll musicians?

ANIME—animated art or cartoons from Japan with a distinctly Japanese style. It is sexualized and is aimed at a more mature audience than American cartoons; characters have large eyes and wild expressions; women have multi-colored hair and breasts so big they look like they are going to pop. Often has nudity and violence, but stops short of being considered porn in Japan; “Japanimation.” Anime that crosses the line into porn is “hentai.”

ANGEL FOOD—a gay pilot.

APADRAVYA—a vertical piercing through the head of the penis.

APHRODISIAC—substance that is given (or taken) to increase sexual desire. Be wary of anything that is called an aphrodisiac because it is usually people, and not chemical concoctions, that turn other people on.

ARSE—British for ass, e.g. “piece of arse,” “up your arse,” “arse wipe,” “Tom’s an arse,” “arsing about,” “arse-over-tit” (a bad fall), or “tight as a duck’s arse.”

ASS BLOW—sticking your tongue into the anus; “rimming,” “tossing salad.”

ASS PLAY—sexual stimulation of the arse, especially focusing on the anus.

ATROPHY—1. scientific term for “use it or lose it.” 2. a fear that many guys have concerning their penis, especially when they haven’t had sex for an epoch or two. Atrophy happens to muscles; the penis is not a muscle. The penis often gets a better workout from jerking off than from intercourse, so if you are worried about atrophy...

AUTOFELLATIO—to suck one’s own penis. Requires a long penis and nimble spinal column.

AUTOPEDERASTY—when a guy can stick his partially-erect penis into his own anus; not the sport of short-dick men. “Pederasty” is when an old guy has sex with a young guy, so why this is called “autopederasty” makes no sense.

AVN—Adult Video News, official organ of the adult-video trade. Also refers to the annual trade show of the adult entertainment industry which is held every January in close approximation to the Consumer Electronics Show.

BABE RATIO—ratio of people you find sexually attractive to the total number of people in the room.

BAD LESBIAN—among politically stiff lesbians, a bad lesbian is a gay woman who has sex with a man or fantasizes about it. Writer Carol Queen attributes this kind of rigid thinking to “the lezzie thought police.”

BAGGER—male who attempts to partially asphyxiate himself while masturbating. Has resulted in deaths that are mislabeled as suicides.

BALL—to have intercourse with; past tense is “balled.”

BALL GAG—a BDSM device which has nothing to do with the balls. It is a strap which runs through the center of a rubber ball. The ball is placed in the mouth of the person being gagged and the strap goes around the head to hold it in place. The BDSM version of Croakies, with a round rubber ball where the glasses should be.

BALLS TO THE WALL—a state of mind where one powers through a situation with tenacity and guts; origin: the Air Force.

BANGER—British for sausage or penis, with a “banger hanger” being a vagina.

BAREBACKING—anal intercourse without a condom.

BARE-BALLING—when a guy isn’t wearing underwear. Also “commando.”

BARTHOLINS GLANDS—two small glands at the bottom part of the vaginal opening which help secrete lubrication; explains why you should reach to the bottom of the vaginal opening to bring lubrication up to coat the clitoris.

BASHFUL BLADDER SYNDROME (PARURESIS)—when you can’t urinate in a public bathroom, or when someone else is present. Can be very debilitating. Shows how severely the mind can mess with the body; “pee-shy”.

BATTERY-OPERATED BOYFRIEND—a vibrator.

B-BOY—short for “butt-boy,” a man who enjoys taking it up the rear.

BBW—means “Big Beautiful Women.”

BDSM—umbrella term for erotic power play including bondage, discipline, spanking, and certain types of fetish play. The term BDSM started on the World Wide Web, and encompasses the older acronyms of BD (bondage & discipline) and SM (sadism & masochism) and DS (dominance & submission). While BDSM is sexual, genital orgasm and stimulation is not its focus.

BEAR—large, mature male with masses of body hair and a fondness for other males. Used in gay porn and ads for sex or dating to describe big hairy guys.

BEARD—date or marriage arranged for a person who is gay to make them appear straight. Important for when mom and dad are in town, or when you are in the Armed Forces, where a beard is known as a “stunt babe.”

BEARD BURN—inner-thigh hazard to women who receive oral sex from men with five o’clock shadow. Can be prevented by draping the woman’s thighs with towels or plastic wrap, or by a quick shave on Thor’s part.

BEER GOGGLES—alcohol-impaired vision that casts a beautiful glow on all that walks, often resulting in feelings of dread upon waking in the morning.

BEAT OFF or BEAT YOUR MEAT—male masturbation; “wank,” “jerk off,” “fap.”