The Guide to Getting It On (181 page)

CASTING COUCH—entertainment-industry term referring to a process where a director or producer receives sexual favors in exchange for casting an actor/actress in a production or show.

CATHETER—in medicine, a tube that goes up the urethra to allow the draining of urine from the bladder. Used for sexual play in some parts of the fetish/kink/BDSM world; see “urethra play.”

CAT ’O’ NINE TAILS—the Mercedes Benz of flogging devices. Were first created by unbraiding rope used on ships in the British Navy which resulted in nine tails, which where then used on the backs of British seamen as a motivational device.

CBT—cock’n’ball torture.

CERVICAL CAP—birth-control device approximating a small rubber beanie that sits on the cervix to discourage male ejaculate from entering. Differs from a diaphragm in several ways: it is smaller, stays in longer, is usually not filled with birth control jelly, and is not as effective, especially for women who have had prior pregnancies.

CERVIX—the bottom part of the uterus found in the back of the vagina. It can be as small as a cherry in a woman who has not delivered a baby through her vagina, or it can be much bigger. Mucus passes through the cervical opening (“os”) and bathes the vagina. So does period flow. Sperm enters the uterus through the os of the cervix. The cervix feels softer during ovulation and its secretions change at that time. This is an important indicator for couples practicing natural birth control. The diaphragm birth control devic e works by making a dome over the cervix to prevent the sperm from passing through it.

CFNM—means “Clothed Female, Nude Male” where male strippers walk around naked and clothed female party goers grab their penises, blow them, etc. Think of a bachelorette party gone wild. Can include domination and submission, and can occur in a variety of sexual venues or situations. To find CFNM websites, just enter the four letters in your search engine.

CHAKRAS—an eastern concept (India, not New Jersey). Makes up the fuse box of the body whose seven points are said to regulate energy.

CHASTITY BELT—according to popular mythology, chastity belts with locks in the were popular in the 1100s. Crusaders who were leaving for war were said to have locked chastity belts on the pelvises of their female partners to assure the women would remain chaste during the years when they were off fighting the Pope’s wars. Despite the myth, no such contraptions actually existed in the 1100s, nor would they for another six- or seven hundred years. The very first mention of chastity belts was a literary illusion dreamed up by Renaissance poets in the 16th Century as a way of saying “let us be true to each other,” not that any of the poets offered up a male version of the chastity belt. The first real chastity belts weren’t created until the 1800s, and they weren’t for keeping women from straying sexually. The first chastity belts appear to have been crude devices designed to keep boys and girls from masturbating. There may have also been something akin to chastity belts in the 1800s at the dawn of the Industrial Revolution when women were beginning to enter the work force and sexual harassment was a serious problem. Some women may have devised their own versions of chastity belts to help keep them from being raped or molested while in the workplace. The most popular use of chastity belts throughout history is probably today in the BDSM community.

CHERRY—virginal or like new. Also refers to the hymen or maidenhead (in case you read Shakespeare).

CHEW TOY—refers to a person you are having sex with, usually on the Q.T., aka “friends with benefits.”

CHICKEN & CHICKEN FOX—a “chicken” is a boyish-looking younger man who wants to be cruised, cared for, or paid for by an older man or “chicken fox.”

CHICKEN OF THE SEA—a young gay sailor.

CHICKS WITH DICKS—persons who appear to be women in many ways except for the genital region. Usually a gender-bending or transsexual MtF man who would like to have bottom surgery but hasn’t, or he loves his breasts, estrogen, female exterior in addition to his penis; “she-he,” “she-male” or “he-she.” Could possibly be a woman whose clitoris was enlarged prenatally due to a late dose of male-type hormones bathing a female fetus (an intersex condition), but that’s not how the term is usually used.

CHIGGER—a small mite. You are more likely to get them from walking through infested areas. Can cause reddish welts and intense itching. Unlike scabies, they don’t burrow into the skin and they don’t drink blood. Their saliva causes a small wound in the skin, which becomes a welt. The chigger then drinks the body fluids which are in the welt. They usually drop off the skin in a couple of days. Under a microscope, they look like a small spider as opposed to scabies which look like small June bugs or tiny sand crabs. They are not as much of a medical problem as scabies. See “scabies”.

CHLAMYDIA—a sexually transmitted infection that is caused by a bacteria. You can get chlamydia in your vagina, penis, anus or mouth. It is one of the most common sexually transmitted infections, with almost 3 million new cases in the United States each year. Chlamydia is called a silent STD because most people who have it don’t have any symptoms. See the chapter “Gnarly Sex Germs” for more information about Chlamydia.

CHOCOLATE—one of the few substitutes for sex. Traditionally used in the wooing process, chocolate lights up the same part of the brain as heroin. May have anti-depressant properties for women.

CHODE—slang term for a penis that is wider than it is long. In a different context, refers to the taint or perineum (area between the anus and genitals).

CHORDEE—downward curvature of the penis, congenitally caused.

CIRCLE JERK(S)—guys masturbating together. Also a semi-notorious punk band of the 1980s.

CIRCUIT or THE GAY CIRCUIT—a series of same-sex dance parties. A cool concept in its early years, some say the circuit still sizzles, others say it has become commercialism at its worst, catering to the cookie-cutter masses.

CIRCUMCISION (GOYIM)—an often unnecessary medical procedure where the foreskin of the penis is sliced or chopped off. The foreskin comprises up to a third of the skin on the entire penis. It was originally done in this country to prevent masturbation. More recently it has been done to enhance the profits of the physicians who perform the surgery. It does not make sense to routinely circumcise young males. See the chapter “Fun with Your Foreskin.”

CIRCUMCISION (JEWS)—“the way a Jewish mother lets her son know who’s in charge”—jmw. What if Jewish males were required to wait until they were old enough to phone the mohel themselves so it could be a young man’s conscious expression of his faith?

CISGENDER—gender-speak for someone who is not transgender. “Cis” is an organic chemistry term that means a molecule has its functional groups on the same side. “Trans” means the functional groups are on the opposite side. So people who are transgender have come up with the term cisgender when referring to people who have no gender dysphoria. In other words, their functional groups (feeling they are male or female) and their genitals are on the same side. With people who are TRANSgendered, it’s the opposite: their functional groups (feeling they are male or female) and the genitals they were born with are not the same.

CLAMPS—see “nipple clips.”

CLAP—gonorrhea. One of the old timers in the field of sexually transmitted infections. Can cause a burning sensation during urination as well as an unusual discharge. Is easily treated, but can do damage if not attended to.

CLITORIS—1. Latin for “darned thing was here just a second ago.” 2. the only organ in either the male or the female body whose sole purpose is pleasure—which from a biological perspective might indicate that female genitals are more highly evolved than males’. 3. sometimes regarded as the Emerald City of women’s orgasmic response. 4. not to be approached in haste. 5. sometimes wants to be caressed with vigor, other times can hardly tolerate being breathed upon. 6. while the clitoris is a fine organ to lavish huge amounts of attention upon, qualities such as tenderness, playfulness and respect also contribute largely to orgasmic response. 7. in Ebonics, it is called a “click.” 8. UK slang for an aroused clitoris includes the term “budgie’s tongue.”

CLITORAL PUMP—a suction device placed over the glans of the clitoris in hopes that it will increase the blood flow and create more sensitivity.

clocked—when a stranger has identified an MtF transsexual as being a biological or factory-equipped male; aka “read.”

CLUBBING—a term that is sometimes used in porn-movie making, when the person who is receiving a blowjob uses his penis to whack the side of the face of the person who is giving the blowjob. For most couples, this would not be a big deal, but with the size of the average porn star’s penis, facial trauma can occur; aka a “danza.” Also refers to trendier version of bar hopping.

CLUSTER FUCK—army term for being in a bad situation. Also, three-way sex.

COCK-AND-BALL TOYS—small harness-like assemblies that snap around the base of the male genitals to pull the testicles up and apart. Some men hang weights on their CBT toys to stretch or pull down the scrotum.

COCK AND BALL TORTURE—for the man who can’t get enough abuse from life, involves being punched or slapped in the genitals as part of a sexual turn on. Can include being zapped in the testicles with electric devices, having the testicles placed in vices, or having the genitals tied up until they swell and look like they are going to pop; CBT.” Add an extra “T” (CBTT) and you get “Cock and Ball and Tit Torture.”

COCK BLOCK—when one male interferes with another male’s efforts or intentions to get laid. For the opposite, see “wingman.”

COCK RING—a ring made of rubber, steel or leather that fits tightly over the base of a hard penis or over the penis and testicles like a halter. The purpose is to help maintain an erection when the mind and body are otherwise unwilling, or to make the male genitals appear larger. In BDSM, a cock ring can be used on a submissive to denote ownership. Can also be worn as jewelry when hung from a chain around the neck. See “Cock-Ring Ken” in the chapter on Barbie and Ken. Cock rings hold shut the veins near the surface of the penis so the penile blood pressure does not escape. They are of somewhat dubious value, and should not be worn for more than 20 or 30 minutes without being taken off for a few minutes. Otherwise, there is a risk of permanent damage. Regarding rings made of steel, if it gets stuck on your swollen penis, you will have to go to a hospital to have it removed. What if they have to call in a locksmith or welder? This is why it is best if the ring is made of rubber or leather, or if it is made of metal it should have a hinge for easy opening.

COCK SOCK—slang for a condom. This term is also used in gender bending: if a girl decides to go out dressed as a guy, or has FtM fever and wants to become a guy, she might wear a “cock sock” or jock-like harness which is made to hold a soft pack (artificial penis and balls) between her legs; see “packing.”

COITUS—scientific term for sexual intercourse, taken from the root word “coit,” which is a carpet- and drapery-cleaning business in Northern California.

COJONES—Spanish for “testicles.” Often misspelled as “cajones,” which means “big boxes.”

COKE WHORE—person who is so strongly addicted to cocaine that he or she will do anything (or anyone) to feed the habit; also “meth whore.”

COME CUP—a device that attaches to the head of a vibrator and fits over the glans of the penis. Be sure to use lots of lube.

COMING TOO SOON—when a male sexual partner consistently comes in about a minutes and both he and his partner are distressed that he doesn’t last longer. The “average” male lasts between 3 and 9 minutes. aka “Premature ejaculation,” “PE” or “rapid ejaculation.”

COMMANDO—see “going commando.”

CONDOM—another name for a rubber.

CORNHOLE—means the anus or anal sex. The term probably originated from the use of dried corn cobs in the place of toilet paper.

COTTONTAIL—term that nude sunbathers sometimes use for a person who wears a bathing suit; see “textile.”

COWGIRL—intercourse position where the woman is on top in a face-to-face orientation with the guy. See “reverse cowgirl.”

COWPER’S GLANDS—tiny structures near the urethra inside the base of the penis which produce the clear, silky drops of fluid known as “precum.”

CRABS—what people often see on Card 10 of the Rorschach (ink blot) test. Also, sexually transmitted lice that live on pubic hair and sometimes make you itch to the point of near insanity. They have six legs, with two of them looking like the claws of a crab. They live on your blood. Crabs will die within a day or two of leaving a body; they can’t live without the body’s warmth or blood.