The Hardest Part (22 page)

"
Reed, I can't." His eyes focused on mine, but I quickly looked away. Work wasn't the only reason I couldn't go with him. I had decided that I just wanted us to be friends… or at least that was what I'd been trying to tell myself over the last few weeks. There was also the fact that a lot of reporters were going to be there tonight, ready to take pictures. Tonight, the main focus would be on Reed and Lexi, and I didn't think showing up with him would be the best thing for me. I was already going to have to try my hardest to stay far away from the cameras.

"
Okay, I understand. I'm pushing too hard. How about a dance, then?" he asked. I glanced over at him again. My chest began to rise and fall as my breathing got quicker, remembering our last dance and knowing where that led. "Just one." He clarified. I could see that he was trying to keep his smile contained.

Thinking of being in his arms caused my entire body to react. I ached to feel him again.
"A dance would be nice." I nodded.

"
Good." His smile finally slipped through and grew larger by the second. "Would you let me give you a ride?"

I knew I didn't have much of a choice, knowing Isabel had left with the car I was supposed to ride in. I would personally have to thank all the ladies at my office for what they'd done to me tonight… or for what they were trying to do.

"
A ride would be nice. Thank you."

T
HE CAR
pulled up outside the venue. I could already see the large groups of reporters waiting to take our picture the moment we stepped out of the car. It looked like a movie premiere. There were beautiful people everywhere. Camera flashes were going off every second. Everyone was smiling, laughing, and posing for the pictures. This event was bigger than I ever imagined.

"
I think I'll let you go in first." I looked away from the window and over to Reed.

He nodded.
"I understand. The pictures and press can be a lot, especially if you're not used to it."

I swallowed and glanced back outside.

"
I can have Robbins take you around to the side entrance," he offered. "You should be able to avoid the press that way."

"
That would be great." I sighed, starting to feel a little more relaxed now.

"
I'll see you inside, then?" He grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

Before turning back around, I erased the panic from my face and smiled. I didn't want him to worry and ruin his night.
"Yeah, I'll see you in there."

The moment the door opened, people started to shout Reed's name and the camera flashes were going full speed. The car finally pulled forward and stopped on the other side of the building.

"
This will lead you in through the kitchen." Robbins voice came from the front of the car. "When you find the main hallway, take a right and it will lead you to the large event hall."

"
Thank you," I said, opening the car door.

By the time I got into the event hall, the room was crowded, the band was playing, and people were smiling and laughing everywhere. I stood there for a moment and glanced around the room. It was the first time I’d seen everything put together. The tables were covered with black tablecloths, and large, extravagant flower arrangements sat in the center of each one. The lighting in the room was dim and set the mood. Beautiful music bounced off the walls and my eyes roamed around the room, seeing the band playing on the center stage. Everything was just… perfect. My eyes moved around the room again, and it made my heart full to see that everyone looked like they were having a good time. I hoped Reed and Lexi loved it.

Walking around the room, I spotted Lexi talking to a group of older women, with Brandon by her side. She seemed happy and looked beautiful in her red dress. As my eyes continued to sweep the room, I saw Reed just a few feet away from me. He was smiling, talking to a large cluster of people, seemingly enjoying himself. Standing there, I stared at him for a minute. I probably would've stood there staring at him all night, but Christine walked up beside me.

"
He looks really hot tonight, huh?"

I gave her a sideways glance and smiled.

"
Come on. You can stop drooling for a few minutes. Sharon wants all of us together." She grabbed my hand and began to pull me to the other side of the room.

"
Emily, there you are." Sharon smiled at me as we approached. "We were beginning to worry about you. Lucky us, we found the missing programs just a few minutes after we got here." She had a guilty but pleased look on her face. Actually, Christine and Isabel did, too.
I knew it.
They were all in on getting Reed and me to come here together.

Sharon raised her glass of champagne.
"Well, ladies, you've all done a wonderful job. I couldn't be more pleased or impressed with how everything turned out tonight. Thank you for all the hard work." We all toasted to a job well done. It really was beautiful. The best part of it all was that it looked like Lexi and Reed loved it, too.

While taking a sip of champagne, my eyes locked with Reed's over the top of my glass. He was making his way toward us. I licked my lips and swallowed quickly.

"
Ladies." He smiled at everyone as he approached us. "I just wanted to tell you how happy I am with what you’ve done. Everything turned out beautifully. I haven't seen my sister cry happy tears in a very long time, and I owe it to you all." He raised his glass of champagne to us.

"
Well, we are just so pleased you like it, Mr. Alexander. It was a pleasure," Sharon said, smiling. Isabel was staring at him in a dreamy state, pretty much how she always stared at him when he was in front of her. Christine was grinning, but she wasn't staring just at Reed; she was looking between Reed and me, her mischievous smile growing by the second.

"
Now, if you ladies wouldn't mind, I would like to ask Emily to dance with me, if you can part with her for a moment." Reed's words turned my attention back to him.

I was pretty sure my whole body just caught fire, or at least my face. It felt hot as I glanced at Reed before my eyes moved to Isabel, Christine, and finally Sharon. They were all smiling and staring at me now. Sharon gave me a wink.

Before I set my glass of champagne back down, I took another drink, probably longer than I should have. When I finally set it down, Reed held his hand out for me to take.

"
You look absolutely amazing." His eyes ran down the length of me as we began to move to the music.

"
Thank you. And thank you for the dress. I should have said that a few weeks ago." I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment. "I'm sorry it took so long to tell you."

"
I'm just glad you decided to keep it. I was afraid you would return it."

"
I thought about it." I licked my lips and raised my eyes to meet his.

"
Well, I'm glad you didn't." He smiled.

We were quiet for the next few minutes. The longer I was wrapped up in his arms, the harder it was to deny how amazing it felt to be with him again. I knew now that no matter how much I had tried to tell myself this wasn't what I wanted, it was just a lie. I wanted to be with him. I just wasn't sure if I should.

"
Should I just come out and say it?" he leaned down and whispered, coming within an inch from my face. Our lips were practically touching.

I tried to keep my breathing at a normal level.
"Say what?" My voice sounded husky, unfamiliar, even to me.

"
Tell you that I want you. That I want to be with you. That it's been miserable these past few weeks without you." He paused, his eyes boring into mine. "Have you even been thinking of us? What you want? If you want to be with me? Or do you still need more time? I'll wait if you do. All you have to do is say the words." His grip around my waist tightened, pulling me closer to him.

As hard as I tried, I couldn't keep myself calm. My breath came out shaky as I tried to find the words. What was I supposed to say? How would I tell him that I wanted to be with him but couldn't? Could I tell him that I'd been missing him over the past few weeks, too? That all I'd ever wanted was to love someone and be loved? Deep down, I knew this was what I wanted. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to allow my heart to love someone again, to open up and trust him.

However, there was another part of me that knew the dangers of falling in love again and it wasn't just getting my heart broken. I felt like I could handle that sort of pain. I was more concerned with the thought of Reed getting hurt if Jake ever found me. What if I had to leave New York? What if I had to change my name again and start over? Would I be strong enough to leave him behind if it came down to it?

"
Can we go somewhere to talk?" he asked, pulling me away from my thoughts.

"
Right now?" I asked, noticing that we’d stopped dancing. We were standing in the middle of the dance floor, staring at one another while other couples danced around us.

"
I think we can step out for a few minutes." He glanced from my eyes down to my lips. "No one will miss us."

Glancing around, I saw that everyone around us was busy in their own world.

I nodded and then he took me by the hand, leading me off the dance floor and down a hall that finally emptied onto a patio.

"
Wow, it's beautiful out here," I exclaimed, leaning against a pillar and glancing up at the lights that were hanging from the trees; they casted a bright glow on the garden below. I could still hear the jazz band from inside.

Wrapping my arms across my chest, I rubbed my bare arms. It was beautiful out here, but cold. Before I even had a chance to turn around and face him, Reed was wrapping his jacket around my shoulder.

"
Thank you." I turned my head and smiled up at him. The smile dropped from my face almost immediately. His face held nothing even resembling a smile. Actually, the seriousness of his face caused my heart to pound and my stomach to squeeze.

"
I have to ask you a few questions. Some things I just have to know."

My heart hammered even harder. Closing my eyes, I leaned back against the pillar and wrapped his jacket around me tighter. I was afraid of what was about to come out of his mouth. He took a couple steps closer to me. Instead of turning away from him, I turned into him, feeling his arms wrap around my waist.

"
What happened to you?" he asked, and I cringed at his words. "What happened that made you so afraid and closed off? That made you feel like you couldn't trust someone or not allow yourself to be loved by someone?"

My face was buried in his chest and I was thankful for that. The tears that stung my eyes were just moments from spilling over.

"
I can't talk about it." I shook my head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"
I want you to know that you can tell me anything. I'll try my best to understand." His voice was soft and sweet. "I'm a patient man, but I don't want to wait around for you if you don't want to be with me." He paused for a moment and I held my breath, wondering what I was going to say in response. "Will you answer me something?" he asked before I had a chance to respond.

I closed my eyes, knowing that if I saw his eyes, I would never be able to tell him I didn't want him.
"Yes." I swallowed.

"
Do you want to be with me?"

"
Yes." The word leaked out as if I had no control. I couldn't deny what I really wanted, regardless if I was looking him in the eyes or not.

He lifted my chin until my eyes met his.
"Do you trust me?"

I nodded, feeling the tears building from my chest.

A smile slowly appeared on his lips.
"Then I'm not going anywhere," he said, bending down and placing his lips on mine for a soft, quick kiss. "That's all I wanted to know. Everything else can wait."

His lips hovered over mine until I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me, causing his lips to connect with mine. His body pushed against mine and I was pressed harder into the pillar. He pulled back to look at me, his hand brushing my cheek. The heat of his skin against mine seemed to radiate through me, causing my whole body to tingle.