The Heart Knows What the Heart Wants (4 page)

Star couldn't remember the last time she'd slept so peacefully. She sighed contentedly and kicked free of the tangled covers. She pulled on her ratty old robe and made her way down the hall to the bathroom so she could take a shower before going downstairs.

She stood in the tiny, steam-filled room and wiped the fog from the mirror. She took a long, hard look at herself in the reflection and frowned at her appearance. She ran the pad of her thumb over the dark circles beneath her eyes. "Let's face it, you look like hell," she mumbled to herself.

Donning a clean pair of jeans and a well-worn, gray sweatshirt, she headed downstairs to the kitchen to join Neona for breakfast. As soon as her foot hit the landing, she heard voices coming from the kitchen. She hadn't counted on anyone else joining them, and she especially didn't expect to see Shane as she rounded the corner.

Star combed her fingers through her still damp, wavy locks and wished she had taken more time with her appearance when Shane peered at her from over the top of his coffee mug. For some reason, he caused her to become uncharacteristically self-conscious -- no makeup and hair that made her look like Medusa...
Way to make a lasting impression on the hot guy.

"Help yourself to the coffee, that is if the freeloader hasn't drained the pot already," Neona offered. She winked at Star to let her know she was only trying to get a rise out of Shane.

"
Freeloader
? After all I do for you, and that's the thanks I get?" he complained.

"Relax, kid, I'm just messing with you." Neona grinned at him and roughed up his hair. "You might want to think about having Ami fit you in for a haircut before you come into work tonight."

Shane scowled and shook his head. "Not feeling it, Aunt Neona."

Their banter was amusing, and Star felt the warm, loving energy flowing between the two of them. She bit her lip to keep from grinning like a fool and poured herself a cup of coffee. She treated herself to a glazed donut from the tray of assorted pastries before taking a seat across the table from Shane.

Neona pulled out a chair and joined the two of them. "So, what are your plans today?" she addressed Star.

"I want to check with the garage to see if he's had a chance to look at my car, to find out where things are with that. I guess it really depends on his answer as to what the rest of my day will be like," Star admitted. "I'll probably need the room another night."

Shane spit out the big gulp of coffee in his mouth. "Pfft. Don't plan on going anywhere before January if you're waiting for Hank to get your car fixed."

Star's
eyebrows squished together
, and she asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Shane shook his head and pushed away from the table to grab some napkins to sop up the coffee. "Hank Galen is a lot of things, but speedy isn't one of them."

Star looked to Neona for confirmation and determined from the expression on her face that Shane was, unfortunately, not exaggerating. "Well, I don't suppose I have much of a choice, really," she said, sighing.

"Who knows? It might be something simple, and he could have it done by the end of the day," Neona said. Shane popped his mouth open to add another snide comment, but snapped it shut when Neona glared at him from across the table. "Either way, you're welcome to stay here as long as you need. Though I suppose with Thanksgiving coming, your family in Iowa will be expecting you."

Star didn't want to admit that no one in Iowa even knew she was coming. She doubted they'd care very much, even if they did. "It was a spur of the moment visit, really," she said quietly.

"Good morning," Michael said as he strolled into the room.

Star jolted from her chair at the sound of his voice. She hadn't heard him come in, and his sudden appearance startled her. Her hand flew to her chest, "Saturn, Pluto, and Mars, you nearly scared me to death," she said.

"I'm sorry, Estelle, I thought you knew I was here," Michael apologized.

Neona and Shane exchanged a curious glance. She slowly shook her head from side to side. "That's okay, Sheriff."

"Michael, please," he reminded her.

"I'll make you a deal: you call me Star, and I'll call you Michael, okay?" She gave him an easy smile and sat back down. That's when she noticed Shane's eyes boring into her. She frowned at him and mouthed, "What?"

"Saturn, Pluto, and Mars?" he asked.

She nodded. "Haven't you ever heard someone shout 'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph'?" she asked him. When he gave her a bewildered look, she sighed. "No, I don't suppose you have. It's something my granny used to say whenever she was startled, mad, or disgusted. Beings I'm not a 'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph' type of woman, I made up my own version."

"Okaaaay," Shane said. He leaned back and clasped his hands behind his head, observing her with new interest. He wanted to know her, but wasn't sure it would be easy or even if he should try -- a woman like Star was way out of his league these days. Compared to some of the other girls he knew, she came across as actually possessing brains
and
beauty. "But why those three?"

A slight smile caused the corners of her eyes to crinkle. She shrugged her shoulders and said, "Because it sounds better than Mercury, Venus, and Uranus?"

"Uranus?" Shane burst into spontaneous laughter. "I'm not even going to touch
that
one."

Star's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Good idea. You might get slapped."

He snorted and said, "There's always Jupiter." He leaned toward her and touched the planet on the back of her hand. "Or Neptune."

Star tilted her head sideways and thought for a bit. "Jupiter promises good, so that doesn't really fit with the intention. Neptune
might
work. It does make it more personal, I suppose," she said.

Shane nodded and sipped his coffee. He didn't quite know what to make of her form of logic, but talking about planets -- in any context -- was something he was up for any day of the week. He was anxious to find out how much she actually knew about the solar system.

Derek slammed the empty shot glass down on the kitchen table
. Where the hell was Estelle
? Sure, she sometimes got her feelings hurt. She was too fucking sensitive for her own good. How many times had he tried to tell her to toughen up? She'd left him in the past, but always came crawling home, begging him to take her back, and he did -- after he taught her a lesson.

He felt his blood starting to boil. Both from the shots of whiskey he'd ingested and with the simmering anger he felt over her not being home where she damn well belonged. He leaned back in the kitchen chair and reached into the fridge for another bottle of beer. He popped the top off, tipped it back, and chugged half the bottle. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and picked up his cell phone, flipping through the screens with his thumb.

"Hey, Astrid, let me talk to Estelle," Derek told Star's mother when she picked up.

"What are you talking about, honey?" Astrid asked.

"Estelle? Is she there with you?" He impatiently tapped his fingers against the table.

"Estelle's not here, Derek," she told him.

He scrubbed his hand against the stubble on his chin. "Look, we had a little disagreement is all. Tell her I forgive her, and I'm going to need for her to come on home now."

Astrid paused. She wasn't sure what to say to Derek. He was obviously distraught. She knew the couple had had their share of problems and that they argued from time to time. She also knew Estelle had a habit of pushing Derek's buttons when he was drunk. Sometimes she took off for a day or two until things cooled off, but she always came back home. "Sugar, I haven't seen her. When did she leave?"

Derek pounded his fist hard against the table, causing his beer bottle to sway. He caught it before it toppled over, cursing beneath his breath. "Dammit, Astrid, don't you lie to me! She's been gone since Sunday morning." He got up from the table and paced around the kitchen.

"Calm down, Derek. I have no reason to lie to you, darlin'. I'm on your side. But Estelle is not here. I haven't talked to her in more than a week. Last I knew, everything was just fine between y'all," Astrid drawled, with her syrupy-sweet twang.

Derek tipped the beer back and downed the rest of it in two gulps. "If she's not there, then where the hell is she?"

"Did you ask that friend of hers from the bar? What was his name? Trevor or something like that? Maybe he knows where she went?" Astrid asked. She paused a few minutes. "Oh! Hang on. You know what? I bet she went up to Iowa to visit relatives. My sister lives in Iowa City. I bet that's where she might be."

"Just fuckin' great," he muttered under his breath. "Thanks, Astrid." He disconnected the call, and reached for the last beer in the fridge.

Even though he knew it was futile, he dialed Estelle's number again. It went straight to voicemail. Derek let loose a string of curse words and slammed the phone against the wall, shattering it to pieces. "Motherfucking bitch! You wait until I get my hands on you, Estelle. I am going to teach you a lesson you'll never forget," he roared to the empty room.

He collapsed into a heap on one of the kitchen chairs. He knew he had to sleep on it. Get sobered up. Once he had a clear head, he'd figure out a plan for getting her back. One thing was for sure, if he couldn't have Estelle, nobody was going to have her.

"I've got to run up to Hannibal for a few things this morning," Neona announced. She leaned against the counter, sipped on the last of the coffee, and added, "I guess I'd better get going if I intend to make it back before my shift at noon."

"I'm going to walk over and see what the verdict is on my car," Star said. She pushed away from the table and took her cup to the sink. She was painfully aware of Shane's eyes watching her every move. Being in such close proximity to him unnerved her in ways she hadn't felt since high school. His gaze warmed her from the inside out, and when he'd touched her earlier, his fingers had caused her woman-senses to ignite.

Shane followed Star out onto the porch. He debated about going with her to talk to Hank, but didn't want to tag along uninvited. She seemed wary of him, and he'd never been one to overstep his boundaries, whether real or imagined.
What the hell was it about this woman
? He yearned to be close to her, yet felt she needed her space. As he watched her...the first words that came to mind were
beautifully fragile
.

Michael wandered outside and stood beside Shane, his hands buried deep into the pockets of his uniform. Wordlessly, they watched Star disappear through the front door of Galen's Garage.

"Wish I knew what her story is," Shane said quietly.

Michael's law enforcement training made him naturally cautious of all strangers. He contemplated the mystery woman from West Memphis, Arkansas, but for completely different reasons than Shane. Since she was going to be staying at Neona's for an indeterminate length of time, he had decided to do some snooping around. "Who knows?" He shrugged.

Neona finished tidying up the kitchen and shrugged into her winter coat. She folded the grocery list and tucked it inside her purse as she walked out into the attached garage. She tapped the illuminated button, and the overhead lights came on as the garage door slid open. She backed the Jeep out of the garage, waving to Michael and Shane before driving off.

"Guess I better get down to the station," Michael said.

Shane nodded. "Yeah, I'm going to go home and take a nap. I didn't get much sleep last night."

He jogged down the front steps and unhooked his helmet from the handlebars of the small, nondescript motorcycle. Fastening the strap under his chin, he pulled the goggles down to protect his eyes from the sub-freezing air. He was thankful for his leather jacket and gloves on days like today. He knew he was the only person crazy enough to ride a motorcycle year round, but he didn't have any other options at the moment.

Shane never complained about his mode of transportation. He figured it was karma's way of biting him in the ass, and he was lucky he didn't have to rely on walking to get wherever he needed to be. Especially with his bum leg and crabby back. Not that he had any place to go anyway. His travels consisted of going from his apartment above the convenience store, to his Aunt Neona's. There wasn't anything else to see or do in the no-stoplight town that overflowed with nothingness.

He started the bike and gave it some gas. The back tire kicked up some loose gravel in the driveway as he pulled away. He felt tense and slightly anxious -- probably from laying awake all night fantasizing about Star.

Star pulled the repair shop door closed behind her as Shane's motorcycle fishtailed slightly and took off toward the highway. The news about her car had not been good. The transmission was shot, and the repairs would likely cost more than the car was worth.

She agreed with Hank not to waste any more money on the old Honda and suggested he sell it for scrap. She'd figure something out. Armed with a small cardboard box filled with all of the sentimental belongings from inside her car, she trudged back to her temporary home across the street.

Star had enough money to last a little while, though she hadn't planned to spend it all before she got where she was going, and she didn't want to buy a car. Her options were quickly sinking from slim to none, and it was time for her to start putting some sort of a plan together.

Inside her room, she took out her new cell phone and activated it. She wanted to hear Taylor's voice, but was afraid he'd hear the tears just beneath the surface, and dammit she was supposed to be strong! She typed out a brief text, instead:
Just me! Made it to Iowa. Have a happy Thanksgiving. xoxo, Stelly.

She wasn't sure what had possessed her to tell him she was in Iowa. Maybe she didn't want him to worry. Maybe it was something else. Like insurance, in case Derek ever got a hold of Taylor's phone, which would be over Taylor's dead body.

Around eleven, Star heard the garage door go up and went to see if she could help Neona carry anything inside. The afternoon was cloudy, and the temperature had dropped, judging from the chill inside the house. Neona greeted her with a smile. "Thanks for the help," she said.

Star noticed a thin film of ice covering the hood of Neona's Jeep. "Are the roads icy?" Star asked.

"Getting that way. I got home just in time, it seems," Neona said as she brought in the last bag of groceries.

Star gave Neona the news about her car and wasn't too surprised when the woman nodded knowingly. "I had a feeling you were going to be here awhile."

"I don't suppose there are any jobs around here within walking distance, are there?" Star asked with a sigh.

Neona's lips pulled into a thin smile, and she patted Star on the hand. "We'll figure out something. Don't you worry. Things have a way of working out when you least expect it."

Star chuckled and wondered to herself if that prediction came along with a crystal ball. "If you say so."

"I do. Now, if you'll finish putting this stuff away, I've got to take Chili Dog outside and then get to work," Neona said. At the mention of his name, Chili Dog's toenails clicked across the linoleum floor, and he bounced on his hind legs like they were spring-loaded.

Star laughed at the tiny, energetic dog's antics. "I can do that."

A few minutes later, there was a loud, thunderous crash from the front of the house. Star dropped what she was doing and ran to see what the commotion was. She flung open the front door and gasped. Her hand flew up to cover her mouth. Neona was laying flat on her back, halfway on the porch, halfway on the steps.

Star started to run toward her and slipped on the invisible ice covering the edge of the porch. Luckily, she caught herself before falling. She eased the rest of the way, taking tiny, shuffling steps toward the prone woman. Neona moaned in obvious pain and tears leaked from the corner of her eyes. Star knelt beside her. "Do you think you can walk?"

Neona squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head slowly from side to side. "Not so much. I think my leg is broken."

Star's eyes darted to Neona's leg, bent at an unnatural angle. "I think you're right," she whispered.

"Call nine-one-one. Tell dispatch to get a hold of Michael." Neona winced.

Star clutched the railing and carefully made her way back inside to do as she was asked. "Come on, Chili Dog!" she hollered. Once inside, she made the phone call and ran around to look for a blanket to help keep Neona warm and dry. Then she sat down on the ground beside her and held her hand until help arrived.