The House of Roses (8 page)

Colin remained lost in thought for several more seconds before realizing that Rosario was speaking and he wasn't listening.

“
I'm sorry, Rosario. You were saying?” he asked, looking sheepish.

“
I was saying that I've really cut myself off from life since I left nursing. I think it's been harder for me because I saw the changes in my body, and having a medical background, I knew what they meant.”

“
You never mentioned you'd been a nurse,” Colin said. “How come?”

“
I guess I didn't want you to think I knew more than you did.”

“
Do you?” Colin asked playfully, grateful for anything to break the tension.

“
I don't know. How much do you know?”

“
I don't feel like I know much today,” he admitted.

“
Then we're even,” Rosario said with a smile. For a moment the tension was gone.

“
When did you leave nursing?” Colin asked.

“
Six months before Eduardo died. After he was gone, I never went back.”

“
I'm sorry, Rosario. Do you miss it?”

“
I do. I always thought I would go back. Now I wish I had.”

“
That's the thing about wishes,” Colin said abstractly, wishing he could change the subject. He was desperate to help, but Rosario wasn't making it easy. He had another idea. “Do you have a church, Rosario?” he asked.

“
I do.”

“
Is there anyone there who could help you?”

“
I've kept everyone at a distance. I was ashamed, although with my background I shouldn't have been. It happens. It happened to us. I have two good friends. One lost her husband on 9/11 and is a widow with five children. She moved back to Texas to live with her parents. The other lives in Jacksonville. She's divorced with two small children, and is having a hard time financially. I just don't know where to turn. To be honest with you, as much as I love both of these women, I am not sure either is right for Mia. She's special.”

Colin agreed, but didn't say so. “Any other friends, Rosario?  Is there anyone you think might be able to give Mia what she needs?” he asked.

“
Just one person.”

“
Have to talked to this person?”

“
I'm talking to him now.”

Colin wasn't sure how to respond. He simply stared at the woman across from him, but she had turned back to the window.
She's asking me to raise Mia.
Colin had suspected the question was coming, but he still felt as though he couldn't breathe. He had no idea how to answer. At a loss, he instead turned to more questions.

“
What happened to your parents?” he asked, and Rosario looked back at him.

“
They were coming to see me after Mia was born. It's funny, they were so afraid to fly........,” Rosario trailed off, sadly.

“
Plane crash?” he asked thoughtfully.

“
No, that's the odd part,” Rosario said, as Colin listened quietly. He suspected she was lost in a memory, and he said nothing, allowing her the moment in her mind. The moment passed, and Rosario looked back at him.

“
They were killed in a car accident in Puerto Rico, on their way to the airport. They moved back after I graduated from college. I moved to New York with Eduardo in 1999. The following year, they moved back home. The trip to New York was their wedding gift to me. I wanted to see them. I wanted them to meet my husband, and by then I knew he didn't have much time. It was just after Mia was born.”

“
I'm sorry,” Colin said softly.

“
Me, too,” Rosario said. “But I'm not sorry they went together. They would have wanted it that way,” she said, with a weak smile. “They really loved each other.”

“
My parents went together,” Colin whispered.

“
I'm sorry,” Rosario said.

“
What?” he said, unaware he'd spoken the words out loud.

“
About your parents.”

“
Oh, I didn't realize I'd said that out loud.”

“
I'm glad you did. What happened?” she asked.

“
It was a house fire. Mom ran back in for her dog. Dad went back for her. The dog was hiding under their car in the driveway.”

“
Oh, Colin, I'm so sorry.”

“
Thank you. God damned dog. I always hated that dog.”

“
So I take it you didn't adopt the dog,” Rosario said with a smile that seemed almost genuine.

“
No, my aunt did. She's my mom's sister, the only family I have left. I don't have time for a dog,” he replied, and something dark flashed across Rosario's face.

“
I have no family now,” Rosario said.

“
You have Mia,” Colin said, without thinking.

“
Mia will have no family,” Rosario said.

“
We'll figure something out,” Colin offered, and Rosario responded with the weakest of smiles. It didn't reach her eyes. The only thing he saw there was pain, and grief, and terror. He had no idea how, but he knew he had to help her. He was going to help her. Somehow he would find a family for Mia, and he needed to do it soon.

Ni
ne

Rita Hollings stepped into her daughter's hospital room with two steaming cups of coffee. The babies slept peacefully in their tiny beds, as rays of sunshine danced off their faces. Caitlin sat quietly, her fingers tapping the keypad of her laptop.

“
Where did that come from?” Rita asked.

“
It was in my suitcase,” Caitlin said, without looking up at her mother.

“
You didn't bring shoes, but you brought that?” Rita asked, setting the coffee cups on the table.

“
This is important.”

“
So are shoes.”

“
Mom, please,” Caitlin said, looking up from the laptop.

“
Do you have any idea how much this coffee was?” Rita asked incredulously.

“
Yes. I used to get it almost every day.”

“
No wonder you don't have shoes.”

“
I have shoes. I just didn't pack them.”

“
What are you working on?” Rita asked, sipping the coffee, which was incredibly good, and almost worth the nearly five dollars she'd paid for it, although she didn't say so.

“
I was looking over my book, and writing...........”  Caitlin trailed off, her words so soft Rita couldn't hear them.

“
What?” Rita asked.

“
I am writing a letter to Colin.”

“
Oh.”

“
That's all you're going to say?” Caitlin asked, reaching for the coffee.

“
What do you want me to say?  I thought you were going to call him.”

“
And say what?  Hi, how are you?  How have you been?  Oh, and by the way, I had twins this morning.”

“
I was thinking it would go something like that.”

“
Oh, Rita, don't be absurd.”

“
Please don't call me Rita.”

“
It's your name, isn't it?”

“
What happened to Mom?  You called me Mom last night,” Rita complained.

“
I would have called you the mother of Christ if I thought it would have eased the pain.”

“
Oh, that's nice, Cate.”

“
Sorry, but it's true. Remember when I was a teenager and you wanted me to call you Rita?”

“
I was having a mid-life crisis then.”

“
And that's ended?”

“
Caitlin, what is this?  If you're angry with Colin, or with fate, or with God, complain to them. Don't take this out on me, especially since I just damn near froze my ass off getting this expensive coffee.”

“
It was worth it, wasn't it?  And, I paid.”

“
Yes, you did, and yes, it's very good,” Rita admitted.

“
I'm sorry,” Caitlin said, in little more than a whisper.

“
What was that?” Rita asked smugly.

“
I said, I'm sorry. You're right. I'm angry, and hurt, and something happened while you were gone, and I wasn't going to tell you, but.....,” Caitlin said, looking broken.

“
What happened?”

“
I saw Colin.”

“
Well good Lord, did you talk to him?  Did you tell him?”

“
I saw him from the window. Actually, if you'd waited a minute or two, you would have run into him.”

“
That would have been interesting,” Rita admitted.

“
He was with a woman, and a little girl,” Caitlin said softly, and Rita sighed. She knew Caitlin's heart was breaking.

“
I'm sorry, Cate.”

“
Me too, Mom.” 

Rita could hear Caitlin crying softly, but she was at a loss for words. Colin had moved on. He'd moved on to a ready-made family, and left one behind. But in his defense he didn't know about the twins and Rita was hesitant to criticize him.

“
What are you going to do, Cate?”

“
I have to figure everything out.”

“
Caitlin,” Rita said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“
What?” Caitlin asked.

“
Sometimes it isn't possible to figure everything out. Sometimes you have to go with the flow and figure things out as you go along.”

“
Like you?”

“
Yes, Cate. Like me.”

“
That's what has always driven me nuts about you. You fly by the seat of your pants. I can't seem to do that,” Caitlin said, looking guilty.

“
I like these pants,” Rita said, shrugging.

“
I do, too. They're nice pants. You know what I mean.”

“
I do. You know, Caitlin, I'm not as nonchalant as I seem. My house is paid for, my car payments are made on time, I have some money saved, and I've never once believed I have an uncle in Nigeria,” Rita said, and Caitlin smiled.

“
I'll give you credit for that.”

“
Thanks. Can you try to be a little more nonchalant, Cate?  Can you try to take things a little at a time?  Maybe forgive yourself for not being able to figure everything out right this minute?”

“
I can try. I just don't know what to do first.”

“
What do you want to do first?” Rita asked.

“
I guess I'll write a letter,” Caitlin said, setting the laptop aside. “Later.”

“
That might be best.”

“
I thought you said I should call him,” Caitlin questioned.

“
I did, Cate, but I admit you have a point. What in God's name do you say?  Maybe it is best to write him a letter, let him read it and absorb it, and then you can talk to him.”

“
Then what do I say?” Caitlin asked rhetorically.

“
I guess you pray it comes to you,” Rita offered. “Now, what do you want for lunch?  They're bringing around the lunch trays, and I admit, it smells horrid.”

The room filled with the sound of Caitlin's laughter, and this time she didn't have to force it.

***

The woman on the gurney barely resembled a human being, and the ER doctor stood over her shaking his head, amazed that someone so damaged could still be alive.

“
Do we have an ID?” the doctor asked, and the nurse beside him nodded.

“
Ella Simons,” the nurse said. “The police weren't able to pull any ID from the car. They ran the plate to come up with her name. Hopefully someone will notice she's missing. Think she'll make it?” the nurse asked.

“
It would take some kind of miracle. I'm waiting on a surgical consult to see if she's heading to surgery or ICU. She's stable, but barely,” the doctor said sadly.

Ella Simons could hear voices but they sounded far away.
What had happened?  Where was she?
  She didn't feel anything, but she was vaguely aware of an antiseptic smell, and she wondered if she was in a hospital.
Was she visiting Caitlin?  Had she passed out? 
Suddenly it all came back, and she wanted to scream, but couldn't move. She couldn't make a sound.
Was she dying?  What if she did?
  She wanted to see the babies, just once. She wanted to see Caitlin just one more time, to tell Rita how much she'd appreciated her friendship, and how much she'd loved working for her, how much it had brought to her life. It had allowed her to stay in New Hope, Pennsylvania, to stay close to the people she loved. She wasn't ready to die. She had things she wanted to do, and in her heart she was still a young woman. Suddenly she started to cry. She felt the tears sliding down her face, and her face felt hot. It felt like it was on fire. She tried to move her mouth, to say something, to ask someone to call Rita, or Noonie, or Erica. She wanted to see Erica. Suddenly her body came back to life, each limb waking up in one fluid motion. The pain was incredible, overwhelming, and she willed herself to sink back into unconsciousness. And this time when she tried to scream, she did.