The House of Roses (12 page)

“
Can you go, Liz?” Ella asked, and reluctantly, Liz stood to leave.

“
I'll be in the waiting room with Caitlin,” Liz said, and Ella squeezed her hand.

“
Cate's here?” Ella asked, and both Liz and Rita noticed a tear slide from her left eye into the bandage that surrounded it.

“
Yes, honey,” Rita said, taking the chair beside her friend's bed.

“
I'll be close by,” Liz said, before disappearing into the hall.

“
How is she, Rita?” Ella asked, and Rita smiled.

“
She's good.”

“
Did she tell her young man yet?” Ella asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

“
No.”

“
She needs to tell him. Why are these young people so stubborn about love, Rita?  Don't they know there isn't anything else that matters?”

“
I don't think so,” Rita admitted, wondering herself.

Ella said nothing for several seconds and Rita simply stared at her, and tried to hide the horror she felt as she looked at her friend's broken body.

“
I've changed my mind about something,” Ella whispered, and Rita reached for a tissue to dry the tears that slid rhythmically down her face.

“
About what, honey?”

“
I want Caitlin to know,” Ella said softly.

Rita wasn't sure how to respond, but before she could choose her words, Ella spoke again.

“
I know I left it to you to decide when it was the right time, but I want her to know now, Rita. I think I'm going to die. She deserves to know the truth.”

“
I think you're right,” Rita admitted, with just a hint of reluctance.

“
You think I'm going to die?” Ella said, looking genuinely frightened.

“
No, silly. I think you're going to live, you old bat. I think you're going to be here for years, driving everyone nuts and worshiping those flowers you love so damned much,” Rita said, forcing a courageous smile.

“
I'm not sure,” Ella said, with resignation.

“
Will you do something for me?” Rita said, beginning to cry again.

“
I can't imagine what it would be. I can't even move my toes,” Ella said, and for a moment she sounded like her old self.

“
Will you fight?” Rita begged, and suddenly the sob she'd been holding back, broke free. Her shoulders shook as she cried, and as she grew quiet, she could hear her friend softly weeping beside her.

“
I can try,” Ella said, and Rita reached to hug her as much as possible.

“
I love you,” Rita said. “For so many reasons, more than you'll ever know. You're my best friend. I still need you. I need you so much,” Rita admitted through her tears.

“
Will you tell her?” Ella asked, sounding serious.

“
No.”

“
No?”

“
No. You will. You're going to get better, and get out of this damned bed, and then we're all going to get together, and we'll tell her then,” Rita said, her voice ragged, but firm.

“
And if I die?” Ella said softy.

“
I'll tell her,” Rita whispered.

“
Promise?” Ella asked, squeezing her friend's hand.

“
Promise.”

Fourtee
n

Colin Thomas stepped out of LAX airport into a beautiful California evening, and although the gentle breeze was light, his heart was heavy. He felt a little lost and off his game, and it was a new feeling for him. He'd spent the majority of the flight rewriting his presentation for the convention the following day, and while he was happy with what he'd  written, it was completely different from what he usually talked about, and he was momentarily unsure of himself. Instead of taking a taxi, he slung his bag over his shoulder and started the six block walk to his hotel.

He grabbed a coffee from a cart he passed along the way, and grimaced as he pulled the cup from his lips. It wasn't Cliff's coffee, not by a long shot, but it was hot, and it delivered the caffeine he desperately needed. He had the makings of a hell of a headache, and although he was anxious to get to the hotel, he sat on a bench and sipped the bitter brew, hoping the simple moment would ease his tension.

It didn't. He reached into his left pocket and took out the cell phone he sometimes hated. He hit the appropriate button and the phone blinked to life. He hadn't missed any calls, and while he was grateful there were no emergencies, the teenage boy in him always hoped
she
might call. Another day was almost over, and she hadn't called. He scrolled through the saved numbers, and selected one toward the end of the list. His call was  answered on the first ring.

“
Rosario, it's Colin. How are you?”  She replied in a soft voice, and he frowned. “I'm sorry to hear that. How's Mia?” he asked, and only then did Rosario become animated. He smiled as he listened, and he was surprised when his eyes filled with tears.

“
Rosario, I've come up with something, and I'd like to talk to you about it. I have some time now, or perhaps I can see you on Wednesday when I return to the city?” he asked, summoning the courage to go on if she invited him to. She did. “I'd like to adopt Mia,” he said softly, and when Rosario started to cry on the other end of the phone, his tears spilled over and slowly ran down his face.

Although he was inclined, he didn't wipe them away. There was something symbolic about allowing them to course down his cheeks, and the world around him seemed to pause as he waited for Rosario's response. It came quickly, and the one word fell upon his ears and reached deep into his heart, to a place he hardly knew existed.

“
Yes,” she said softly, as Colin's tears continued to fall.

“
I don't know what to say, Rosario,” Colin said softly. “What do I say now?” he asked, feeling frightened and small.

“
You've said all I needed to hear,” Rosario said in little more than a whisper. “I'm honored you would consider doing this. I know she'll be safe with you.”

Colin heard the sharp inhale, and he knew she was crying. Rosario sobbed softly and his heart broke as he listened to her. He chose his words carefully.

“
It's me who's honored, Rosario. I'm honored that you have placed this kind of trust in me, and I'm honored to be your friend.”

“
You're more than my friend, Colin. You're the miracle I prayed for,” she offered, and Colin sighed deeply.

“
I don't know if I'm that,” he said.

“
I do.”

Colin held the phone for several long moments, unsure of what to say or do. “Would you like to have dinner with me on Wednesday?” he asked. He'd planned to stay several days on the west coast, but had already decided to leave after the convention.

“
I'd like that. I'll tell Mia. She'll be excited.”

“
Have you told her anything else?” he asked gently.

“
No.”

“
Would you like to tell her together?” he offered, feeling the heartbreak again.

“
I'd like that,” she said. “Thank you.”

“
I'll call you Wednesday.”

“
All right.”

“
Take care of yourself, Rosario,” he said into the phone.

“
You, too. And, Doctor......., remember when you told me you wished you could save my life?”

“
I remember,” Colin said softly.

“
You just did.”

He heard a soft click as the connection was broken, and for a moment Dr. Colin Thomas sat holding the phone. He knew there were a million things he had to do, but for a moment, all he could do was cry.

***

Rosario Mariposa sat at her kitchen table with a pen and paper, trying to put her thoughts into words. She struggled to focus her tear-filled eyes on the paper. Unable to write, she sat the pen on the table and dropped her head into her hands.
How do you say goodbye? 
She whimpered as she entertained the painful thoughts, and suppressed a sob with her fist to avoid waking Mia, who slept soundly in the little room down the hall.

“
Oh, Mia,” she whispered, through her tears.

Rosario wiped her eyes on her sleeve and stared at the paper in front of her. Carefully, and with expert handwriting, she began the letters. The first was to Colin.

Dear Colin;

There are no words to tell you how grateful I am that you are willing to care for my child after I am gone. The love you have shown us as patients speaks volumes of the love you will show Mia as her father. I could not have chosen a finer man for the job, and I entrust to you my greatest gift. Love each other, and have a wonderful life. It's all a mother could ask. However, there is one more favor I must ask of you. Enclosed you will find a second letter I have lovingly written to my child. When you feel Mia is old enough to understand, I would like you to read it to her.

Rosario paused for a moment to steady her hand, then continued writing.

My dearest Mia;

When you hear this, I will be gone, and while I know you will be sad, I want you to remember to be happy. Remember how much Mama loved you, and while I wish I was still with you, I know I will be okay in heaven with God. Colin will take wonderful care of you, I know he will. I know how much you love him, and I know he loves you. He will be more than just your doctor or your friend. He will be your father. Love him, darling, and respect him, and while at times you may be angry with him, or disagree with what he tells you, know he only wants what is best for you, and even when you think he is wrong, he probably isn't. He is a good man, Mia, and I know he will love you like his own daughter, just as I do, and as Papa did, too. I am so sorry we had to leave you, and I hope you will have a wonderful life. Mama and Papa will be watching over you from heaven, and although you can't see us, we will always be with you. I want you to do something for me, mija. I want you to enjoy your life. I want you to truly live, and not be afraid. I have spent so much time afraid, and it is such a waste, and you miss so much when you're afraid. Smile, my love, and be happy.

Sing and dance and embrace all the gifts life sends you. You have been the greatest gift I could ever imagine. Please know I love you more than life itself, and I know in my heart one day we'll be together again.

All my love;

Mama

“
Mama?” a sleepy voice called from down the hall. “I'm scared.”

Rosario got up from the table, and walked slowly to her daughter's room.

“
What's wrong, sweetheart?” she asked.

“
I had a dream you were gone,” Mia whispered, and Rosario felt her heart break.

“
Oh, my sweet baby, it's okay. Mama's here.”

“
Are you dying, Mama?” the child asked, and for a moment, Rosario couldn't speak. It was a moment, that even if she lived forever, she knew she would never forget. She had never lied to the child, and it wasn't the way she wanted her daughter to remember her. Rosario thought of Colin and his offer to tell Mia when they were together, but suddenly she knew it was something she needed to do herself.

“
Yes, sweetie, Mama's dying,” Rosario whispered. She couldn't lie, although she desperately wanted to.

Mia began to whimper and Rosario pulled her daughter to her chest. For several minutes their tears mixed together as they sat weeping in the dark.

“
What will happen to me, Mama?” Mia finally asked, and only then did Rosario release her daughter from her embrace.

“
You're going to be okay, Mia,” Rosario promised.

“
Who will take care of me?” the child asked.

“
Dr. Thomas.”

“
But where will I live?” Mia asked.

“
You'll live with Colin, sweetheart. He's going to adopt you.”

They were both quiet for several seconds, and Rosario heard her daughter weeping softly.

“
Mama, can I take Marvin?” Mia asked, reaching for the love-worn bear, and Rosario began to cry again.

“
Of course you can, my darling,” she said, pulling the child to her once more.

“
Okay,” Mia said through a whimper. “I'll miss you, Mama,” Mia said, looking at her mother. Even in the dark, Rosario could see that while there was pain in her daughter's eyes, there was also acceptance, and suddenly she knew her child would be all right.