The Human's Complicated Wolf [Nehalem Pack 5] (Siren Publishing Classic ManLove) (5 page)

“Jensen, no, we’re not married, but that’s the best way I can explain it. For werewolves, we can date other people, but we don’t fall in love and settle down until we meet that one special person. The one person who makes getting up every morning worth while. Whose smile fills a place in our hearts we never knew was empty until they came along. The one person we’d gladly lay our life down for just to keep them safe. We’ll love them until our last dying breath. Our soul mate.”

Jensen’s eyes darted over his as if searching for something. “Is that what I am to you?”

Josh nodded his head.

“But that night at the club you said you weren’t gay. I don’t understand.”

Well shit!
All except for that first kiss, Josh would rather forget that whole night. He followed Jensen out of the nightclub and across the street to the parking garage. When he caught up with Jensen, his scent was so strong Josh couldn’t help but kiss him. His wolf demanded he claim what belonged to them, but the human part of Josh’s brain warred against his body’s desires.

“I’m not.” He took a deep breath. “It’s complicated.” At Jensen’s confused look, he rushed to say, “I wasn’t gay until I met you. Before you, I had never had one single thought about doing with another man what we just did in your entryway.”

Jensen sat quietly scratching at a spot on his jeans. Josh was starting to worry he broke his little human. Well, maybe not little. Yes, Jensen stood a good five inches shorter than him, but the man was ripped with muscle as if he worked out every day. From the feel, Jensen didn’t have one ounce of fat on his trim body, and Josh had to admit he liked the hardness and cut of the man’s muscles when he touched him. He didn’t feel like he had to be gentle or if he did get rough, that he wouldn’t break Jensen.

“Do you regret it?” Jensen shifted in his seat to sit side ways. “Or wish that we weren’t mates?”

“No!” Josh said more loudly than he intended. “I mean, yeah I was shocked at first, but I’d like to think that’s normal.” He chuckled. “Then tonight when I saw you with that other man, oh my god, I wanted to rip his head off.” Josh balled up his right hand and punched it into the palm of his left.

“Really?”

“Really, really. I’ve been watching you for the past two weeks, and I just didn’t know how to approach you. I should have known someone else would come along and try to snatch you up.”

“Hold up.” Jensen raised a hand in the air. “You’ve been following me for the past two weeks?”

“Yes, but like I said I didn’t know what to say. My actions that first night we met were less than stellar. I mauled your face like an animal then I told you I wasn’t gay. Not my best moment.”

“You’re right, it wasn’t.” Jensen punched him lightly in the arm. “But the whole face mauling wasn’t too bad.”

“Thanks.” Josh reached out and trailed his fingers over the knuckles of Jensen’s hand. For the first time since his dad had been killed, he truly felt happy. The sadness of loss didn’t weigh him down until he couldn’t breathe. Being like this with Jensen eased the pain his dad’s death left behind.

“What’s wrong, Josh?” Jensen must have sensed his morose mood.

He slowly looked up and saw nothing but caring and understanding in his mate’s eyes. “The other reason I left to follow you was that my father was killed the night you left the Carsten house. That’s why I wasn’t there when you woke up. My father had been abducted, and my brothers and the Carsten pack went to rescue him.” Tears burned at the back of his eyes, but he didn’t want to look weak in front of his mate. “My father was killed while trying to protect my brother, Cole.”

“That’s horrible.” Jensen scooted closer and brought his hands up to cradle Josh’s face. “Are your brothers okay?”

Josh shook his head. “I’m not sure. I left as soon as we got back to the house, and I haven’t spoken to them since.”

“Josh, they’re probably worried sick about you. You should really call them.” Jensen let go of his face, and Josh instantly felt cold without his mate’s soothing touch on his skin. Jensen reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone and handed it to him.

He took the offered phone and let it fall in between the couch cushions. “Not tonight,” he simply said. If he called home and heard his brothers’ voices he’d crack. Josh didn’t want to feel all the emotions at seeing their father dead on the ground and him helpless to do anything about it.

Jensen stared at him, his eyes darting over Josh’s face. He must have been satisfied with what he saw and said, “Fine, not tonight, but you really should call them. At least let them know you’re alive.”

“I will. I promise, but tonight I just want to be here with you.” Josh tilted his head down to stare at his hands. “Can I stay?”

“Of course you can stay.” Jensen leaned forward and brushed a kiss over his forehead. “Let’s go to bed.”

Josh let Jensen lead him to the bedroom and into his bed. The crisp blue sheets felt cool against his tired body. Jensen turned off the light, and Josh could hear the other man shuffling around behind him. Then Jensen climbed in bed. He didn’t flinch away when Jensen spooned up next to him. Jensen rested his hand on Josh’s hip, and Josh reached down and pulled Jensen’s arm up and around him and held tight. Exhaustion had his eyelids falling shut. Maybe after a good night’s sleep he’d feel up to facing his brothers and their disappointment in him for not saving their father. As long as he had Jensen in his corner, Josh truly believed he could get past all his feeling of loss and doubt.

* * * *

Jensen woke to rough fingertips caressing against his cheek. He stretched his arms over his head and kicked his legs out straight. Before he could open his eyes a yawn pulled his jaw open, popping from the stretch.

“Good morning,” Josh said then leaned down and kissed him on the lips. “Hope you don’t mind, but I took a shower. Two weeks of bathing in the lake just wasn’t cutting it.”

Jensen brought up a hand and ran his fingers over Josh’s head. The man hadn’t been able to shave his head, and his dark-blond hair had started to grow in. Jensen liked it. He rubbed the short strands between his fingers, loving the silky texture.

“I would have shaved it off, but I couldn’t find any clippers in your bathroom.” Josh tried to pull away.

“Don’t you dare cut your hair.” Jensen cupped the back of Josh’s neck and pulled him down closer to his face. “I think it looks handsome on you.”

“Is that an order?” Jensen grinned down at him. The man then moved his leg in between Jensen’s and cuddled closer. The hard press of his cock burned a line against Jensen’s thigh.

“Damn straight it’s an order.” He pulled Josh to his chest and licked the upper curve of Josh’s lip. Josh moaned and let his mouth fall open and sucked Jensen’s tongue into his mouth. He meant the kiss to be gentle and sweet, but Josh took over, nipping and sucking, and Jensen instantly became hard.

Jensen tugged on Josh’s arm and the man moved on top of him. The length of Josh’s body covered him in smoldering heat, and the hairs on his chest and legs tickled against Jensen’s skin. He fidgeted around until he got a good hold on Josh’s rear end. He grabbed onto the firm globes and urged Josh upward. He wanted to feel Josh’s hard cock on his tongue.

Josh walked on his knees up to Jensen’s face. He stopped when the tip of his cock brushed against Jensen’s lips. He pulled Josh closer and opened his mouth. The fat spongy head glistened with pre-cum, and Jensen licked his tongue over the top, then narrowed his tongue to dip it into the slit. Josh’s intoxicating juices exploded in his mouth and made his mind swim.

“Come on, baby, take more.” Josh ran his fingers through Jensen’s hair then fisted his hands, holding him in place.

Jensen relaxed his jaw and swallowed down Josh’s cock. The thickness nearly choked him, but he forced his breath out through his nose. He dug his nails into the tough muscle of Josh’s ass, wanting him to move faster and fuck his mouth the way Jensen wanted to do to Josh’s body.

Josh’s movement sped up, and Jensen hollowed out his cheeks, applying more pressure. A thin line of drool ran down his chin. With Josh’s cock swelling, he couldn’t swallow down all the juices flooding his mouth.

The moans that left Josh’s mouth bounced off the walls and echoed in Jensen’s ears. It was as if Josh were serenading him a song he had composed for him alone, and Jensen couldn’t get enough. He opened his eyes to watch as this strong man came undone. Josh’s eyes were clenched tight, and his lips were pulled back over his teeth as if he were snarling. Jensen noticed the sharp canines piercing Josh’s lower lips, but it didn’t frighten him. If Josh wanted to hurt him he would have done so by now.

“Suck harder!” Josh demanded. “Make me come.”

Jensen pulled his lips snug around the pulsing cock and used his tongue to play over the flared head. Josh jerked forward, shoving his cock further down Jensen’s throat. He had to fight to keep from biting down on the invasion. No matter how rough Josh got, Jensen didn’t want it to end.

A loud howl rolled off of Josh’s tongue as hot, salty semen filled Jensen’s mouth. He tried to swallow around the bulging cock, but his attempts failed and cum dribbled out the corners of his mouth.

After a few more forward thrusts, Josh pulled out and climbed off of him. His breathing was erratic, and his cheeks flushed with bright color. Jensen sat up and swallowed down his lover’s release and used the sheet to wipe away what had leaked down his chin.

“That was amazing,” Josh said on a sigh. He smiled up at Jensen.

“Glad you enjoyed it.” Jensen bent down and kissed Josh on the lips. He winced when his own aching cock brushed against the bed. In his pursuit to give Josh the best blow job of his life, he had ignored his own body’s needs.

“Do you want me to help you with that?” Josh asked, a wicked gleam in his eyes.

“What did you have in mind?” Jensen bent closer to Josh’s chest and licked around one of his nipples.

“I can do what I did last night.” Josh groaned as Jensen continued to play with the man’s pebbled peaks.

Jensen was barely listening. He continued to lick around the round disk and edged a hand down between Josh’s legs, walking his fingers down around Josh’s nut sack until his fingers brushed along the small opening. He could feel the warmth radiating from Josh’s center and couldn’t wait to feel that tight heat around his dick.

“What are you doing?” Josh put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him away.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Jensen tried to move back to the man, but Josh’s arm was unrelenting. “What’s that matter?” At Josh’s blank look, he tried to explain. “I thought maybe we could move this to the next level.” He waggled his eyebrows at Josh, hoping he got the hint.

“And what is the next level?” Josh sat up on the bed and crossed his arms over his chest.

Did he really have to spell it out for him? By the pissed-off expression on Josh’s face, apparently so. “Sex, I thought we could have sex. You said we were mates and meant to be together. I kind of assumed that meant we could be intimate with one another.” He rubbed his fingers over his eyes. It was too early in the day to be fighting. And after he just got Josh off, it would be nice if the man would reciprocate before his dick fell off.

“What makes you think that I’d”—Josh’s voiced hitched—“that I’d be the one?”

“That you’d be the one taking my dick?” he asked.

“Yes!”

Jensen sat up and rested his back against the headboard. “Because I always top.” Josh gave a shake of his head as if he didn’t understand. “What I mean is I’m the one who is always sticking my dick in the other person. Don’t get me wrong I am versatile but I prefer to be the one doing the fucking.”

Josh started to laugh. “Yeah, that so isn’t going to happen. If anyone in this relationship is going to be fucking anyone, it will be me fucking you. I’m the bigger and stronger mate. It just makes more sense.”

“Is that so?” Jensen could feel his hard-on dying a quick death. His lover’s flippant attitude wasn’t just annoying him but pissing him off. He should have known better than to forgive Josh so quickly the previous night but he just couldn’t deny Josh. Not giving into Josh’s advances would have only made himself suffer and Jensen wasn’t one for causing himself pain. Plus, he prided himself on seeing the good in others but it looks like he had missed judged Josh.

“Yeah. I can’t let another man do that to me. I’m not…”

Josh’s words trailed off, and a look of remorse crossed his face, but it was too late. Jensen knew exactly what he was going to say.

“Because you’re not gay.” He pushed off the bed and paced toward the window. After everything they did last night and this morning, he couldn’t believe Josh still couldn’t admit he was gay. He said he was, but Jensen had to guess saying it and believing it were two different things for Josh. He wanted to be understanding toward Josh’s issues, but damn if it didn’t hurt to hear the man he was falling for say such things.

“Jensen.” He didn’t hear the man get up, but Josh stood behind him, and his fingers touched his shoulder. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just—”

Jensen spun around and glared up at Josh. “It’s just what? Please, enlighten me, because I really want to know what’s going on in that fucking head of yours.” He chuckled but without any humor. “Because I sure as shit didn’t hear you complaining when you had your dick crammed down my throat.”