The Human's Complicated Wolf [Nehalem Pack 5] (Siren Publishing Classic ManLove) (8 page)

But as he stared down at his mate, he knew that was a lie. He had upset his mate and given him the opening to go out and do something stupid like get drunk with another man. Ethan did refer to Josh as Jensen’s boyfriend, so maybe his mate had done more talking about him than admiring Ethan’s striking good looks.

“Yeah, I hate that guy,” Josh said under his breath. Had he not been home when Ethan dropped Jensen off, what would the man have done? Would he have taken advantage of Jensen?

Josh’s teeth began to lengthen, and a snarl pulled back his upper lip. The mere thought of someone hurting his mate made him want to shed his human form and track down the person responsible and tear him limb from limb.

“Josh?” Jensen slurred.

Josh sucked in a deep breath, letting the cool breeze seep into his lungs. His teeth pulled back up to his gums, enabling him to talk. “Yes, baby, it’s me.”

Jensen gave him a goofy smile, and his eyes fell shut. “I love you.”

“Excuse me?” Josh leaned over to grab the bedside table to steady himself. Those three little words knocked him off balance. He sat down next to his mate. “Jensen?” The man didn’t answer, and Josh nudged him in the shoulder. “Jensen!” he said a little louder. The only response back he got was a loud snore.

Josh looked around the room at a loss on what he should do. He flipped off the light and pulled the blanket up and over Jensen’s body. Josh moved the chair that sat in the corner closer to the bed and sat down. It had been a long day and an even longer night.

I love you.
No one beside his mother had ever said that to him. He knew his father and brothers loved him, and he loved them, but they never said it out loud. And never had any of his past lovers ever said that to him. Love was something he never thought he’d have for himself. The question he had to ask himself now was did he love Jensen.

Jensen woke to a dry mouth. His tongue lay heavy, and the bitter taste of beer lingered on his taste buds. He slowly cracked open an eye and saw only darkness. The clock on the side table flashed seventeen past four in the morning, so he didn’t have to deal with the blinding sun just yet.

He rubbed at his eyes then pushed himself up into a sitting position. The motion caused his head to spin, and he placed a hand to his forehead. If he never had a drink again, it would still be too soon.

“How do you feel?”

Jensen jerked at the sound and pulled the blankets up to his chin. It took him a moment to focus in the darkness, but eventually Josh came into view. His face was shrouded by shadows, but Jensen could feel the energy that emitted from Josh’s body. It was as if his body recognized the man before his brain had time to.

“You came back.” His voice came out low and husky.

“Of course I came back.” Josh got up from his chair and sat on the edge of the bed close to him. “We had one fight. It didn’t mean I would just walk away from you and never come back.”

Jensen gave a slight shake of his head, and he swayed to the side from the movement. Josh’s hands reached out to steady him before he fell to the side. His touch was gentle and caring.

“Here, take this.” Josh handed him two aspirin and a glass of water that had been sitting on the nightstand.

Even after their fight, the man didn’t seem to be angry. He was taking care of him when he didn’t have to. Guilt climbed up his chest and tightened around his throat, making it impossible for Jensen to speak. Josh had run off to deal with their fight, but what Jensen had done was much worse. He’d gone out with another man. He didn’t have any intentions of sleeping with Ethan, but he liked the way Ethan made him feel. It was selfish of him to use Ethan like that and an awful thing to do to the man he had gone and fallen in love with.

Jensen swallowed down the pills and emptied the glass of water. He set the glass down and looked around him and, for the first time, realized he was in his own room, but how did he get here? He remembered driving to the bar and drinking until he couldn’t feel his arms and legs anymore, but not how he got home.

“Josh, how did I get here?” he asked but feared he knew the answer already.

“Ethan brought you home.” Josh turned to rest his elbows on his knees and leaned forward. “I gotta say, it hurt seeing him with you again.” Josh glanced over his shoulder at him. His eyes shined as if lit by a fire.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t—”

“You didn’t mean to what?” Josh cut him off. “Go out with a man who you know wants you?” He lifted his eyebrows. “That you didn’t do this to hurt me?”

Jensen would have liked to say he didn’t remember anything. That the alcohol had magically erased his memory, but it hadn’t. He had no excuse for his actions. He had gotten angry with Josh, and subconsciously he had done it to punish him. Looking back now, Jensen could see that he was being childish.

“Maybe I did go out with Ethan to hurt you, but what else was I supposed to do? You left the house after our fight, and you were gone all day. I didn’t think you’d ever come back.” He let his chin fall to his chest. His own insecurities made him feel like a loser, but it had been the truth. When Josh stormed out the door, Jensen was certain that would be the last time he’d ever see the man again, and for what? Because he wanted to have sex with Josh and his lover had been hesitant.

“I don’t blame you, Jensen.” Josh reached out, took his hand, and entwined their fingers. “Like you said, running is something I do best. It just seems easier to take off than to deal with my problems. I never meant to make you feel like I’d abandoned you.” Josh’s voice began to crack. “I’ll always come back to you. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” A small smile lifted Josh’s upper lip.

A tear escaped Jensen’s eye, and he wiped it away. “That’s good to know.” He gave a tug on Josh’s hand to bring the man closer and wrapped his arms around Josh’s naked torso. It felt good being wrapped in Josh’s strong embrace. It made Jensen feel complete on the inside, as if the world could end at that very moment but it wouldn’t matter to him as long as he were to die in this man’s arms, because without Josh, Jensen didn’t want to exist.

“I don’t mean to spoil the moment, but we need to talk about what happened this morning.” Josh sat back and held Jensen an arm’s length away.

“Oh, god, do we have to?” Jensen whined.

“Yes,” Josh said with a grin. “I stuck my foot in my mouth earlier. I’m not trying to make excuses for myself, but this whole gay thing is new to me. Not saying that I’m ashamed of it, quite the contrary. I couldn’t be prouder to be mated to you, but you got to see where I’m coming from.”

Jensen nodded his head. “I do, and it was wrong of me to expect that from you so early on. You need time to come to terms with all this.” He raised his arms in the air, indicating everything. “We can wait as long as you want.” Jensen shrugged his right shoulder. “I’m not opposed to being on the bottom. I’m versatile.”

“That’s good to know.” Josh chuckled, but in his next breath grew serious. His eyes bore into Jensen’s, and heat started to pool in his stomach. “But I don’t want to wait. I think I’d like to try it.” Jensen could see Josh’s Adam’s apple bobbing up and down in the dark room. “All of it.”

Another tear fell from his eye to track a salty trail down his cheek. He always thought his mother and sister were insane when they’d cry when they were happy. Honestly, who cried when they were happy? But sitting next to Josh, he understood. An overwhelming feeling of utter and complete happiness made his heart soar.

Jensen moved his head just enough to have their lips almost touching, but it was Josh who closed the remaining distance and kissed him. Hot lips greeted his, and Jensen hungered for more. Being so close had them sharing the same air, and feeling Josh’s heated exhales fan over his face made Jensen realize how good Josh smelled. The scent of his bodywash lingered on the man’s heated skin, clean and fresh like an ocean breeze.

Josh licked along Jensen’s mouth until he sighed with pleasure and opened up for him. As Josh pushed his tongue inside, Jensen sucked on the wet, warm muscle, coaxing it further in. Their tongues glided together and increased Jensen’s already blossoming arousal. Before he knew what he was doing, Jensen grabbed Josh by the back of the neck and deepened the kiss.

With movements too fast for a human, Josh climbed up on the bed and forced Jensen to lie flat on his back. As the kiss grew more intense, Josh ground their erections together. Jensen clinched his eyes tight and reached down to take hold of Josh’s firm ass urging him even closer.

“Too many clothes.” Josh’s words came out muffled as his lips moved over his. Josh popped up onto his knees, and Jensen watched in wonder as the man with nimble fingers unfastened the buttons of his shirt. He helped Jensen sit up in a half-crunch motion to pull the shirt all the way off.

Jensen hissed in a breath as one rough fingertip ran down the center of his chest, not stopping until Josh’s fingers fumbled with his jeans. Josh succeeded in popping the button and tugging down his zipper. Josh didn’t waste any time sliding his hand into Jensen’s pants, and he moaned loud as warm fingers gripped his cock.

Josh started to pump his fist around Jensen’s cock, his hand moving up and down with delicious pressure. Jensen pulled Josh back into a kiss, smashing their lips together, adding more fuel to the already-building fire between them. Jensen bucked up into Josh’s tight grip and could feel his release rise to the surface. His breath hitched, and he pulled back from the kiss.

“What’s wrong?” Josh asked as his eyes darted over Jensen’s face.

“Nothing, babe.” Jensen cupped the sides of Josh’s face. “But if we keep this up, I’m going to explode.”

“Oh.” Josh rolled off of him and stood beside the bed. “We can’t have that, now can we?” The man pushed down his shorts, and his hard length fell forward and bounced before Jensen’s eyes.

Jensen licked his lips as he stared at the thick shaft. “What did you have in mind?” He mentally prayed that Josh had been serious and would say they could have sex.

“I want you to make love to me,” Josh said shyly. “If you still want to.” He looked up at Jensen through thick eyelashes, and Jensen had to keep from biting his tongue. Even without trying, Josh was the sexiest man he had ever met.

“I do.” Jensen shimmied out of his pants. All the nagging effects from his alcohol binge from a few hours ago vanished in a blink of an eye.

Josh moved back on the bed and lay beside him. Jensen rolled to his side, pulled open the drawer to the nightstand, and fumbled around until he found the lube he had stashed there when he unpacked two weeks ago.

As he turned back to face Josh, he could feel the tension rolling off the man’s body. He coasted his fingers down the side of Josh’s body, doing his best to ease the man’s anxiety. “I’d never hurt you. You believe me, right?”

“I do, it’s just that you’re kind of big down there.” Josh’s eyes dropped to Jensen’s groin.

“Well thank you, kind sir.” That got him a laugh from Josh. “But seriously, I’m going to take my time and get you stretched out before I ram my monstrous-sized cock into you.”

Josh held up a finger. “I never said monstrous.”

“Can’t you just let me have this moment?” Jensen eased forward and brushed his lips over Josh’s. Without hesitation, the other man rolled to lie on his back, and Jensen worked his tongue down Josh’s body, stopping to tease his nipples. He nipped along the pebbled peeks then soothed them with his tongue. Josh squirmed on the bed. His body began to shake.

Jensen made his way down until he could lick away the clear juices beading up on Josh’s cock. As he sucked the swollen crown into his mouth, he used his hands to urge Josh’s thighs further apart then used one hand to apply featherlight touches to the man’s balls then back further toward his opening. The tiny bud fluttered under his touch, and Jensen hummed around the dick in his mouth to help distract Josh. Keeping Josh’s hard shaft in his mouth, he maneuvered his hands to pop the top on the tube of lube. He squeezed out more than enough then tossed the tube to the side. He slowly eased one wet finger toward the ribbed hole and painted the clear gel over the center. After a few passes he very gently eased a finger into the opening.

Josh jerked on the bed but didn’t push him away. Jensen slipped the one finger in and out, going deeper each time. He could feel Josh’s muscles start to relax, and he added another finger. Josh’s channel clamped down so tight there was no mistaking the man was a virgin, at least a virgin to anal sex.

“Is this okay?” he asked as he scissor his fingers in and out.

“Umm,” had been Josh’s only response.

Jensen smiled as he gazed up over Josh’s body. The sun had started to rise, and the room had lightened a little bit. He could see the sweat glistening on Josh’s body and the strain in his muscles as he rocked into Jensen’s touch.

Seeing that his lover was in no apparent distress, he went back to sucking on his cock. As he took Josh’s solid length down his throat, he added a third finger. Josh grunted but pushed down further on the invading fingers. The faster Jensen bobbed his head up and down, the more his dick brushed along the mattress. The friction tickled along the underside of his shaft and had him wanting to come.

Jensen pulled off of Josh’s cock and got onto his knees. It was now or never because he was close to coming and wanted to do that inside of Josh. He picked up the lube and rubbed a good helping over his length. His dick shined a bright red as it twitched in his hand. He looked up to see Josh staring back at him, his bottom lip caught between his teeth.