The Incorporated Knight (25 page)

             
"I merely spake to the monster in its Pathenian language, a tongue whereof I learned somewhat whilst in jail in Velitchovo."

             
Corentin's eyes waxed bright with malicious curiosity. "What offense had ye committed there?"

             
"Killing a dragon out of season, in ignorance of their game laws."

             
"My, my, ye do get around! In any case, be on your way forthwith; here we give short shrift to contentious foreigners. Without heads to see by, ye'd go astray for certain!" The jester guffawed.

             
Eudoric stared as murderous thoughts flitted through his brain. As if reading Eudoric's mind, Corentin added: "And think not to slay me out of hand!" He nodded towards the guardsmen. "Besides these four stout lads, my faithful demon wards me. Wouldst see?" He clapped his hands. "Matholuch, show yourself!"

             
The air beside Corentin's chair shimmered, and a being of roughly human size and shape took form. Instead of an ordinary skin, however, it was covered with scales having the appearance of bronze, greened with age. The center of each scale curved up to form a spine. Over most of the creature's body, the spines were no longer than a finger's breadth, but on the arms they became finger-long spikes.

             
The jester's mouth twisted into a sinister grin. "A hug from Matholuch were less pleasurable than one from your princess, as the late Svor discovered."

             
"Methought Svor was burned alive?"

             
"Nay; that doth but show how rumor distorts the tale of notable events. But I've just thought of a jingle:

             
"Oh, better 'tis ever to lie in the arms Of woman-kind lovely, enjoying her charms, Than wrastle my demon, whose spiny embrace The life of the hardiest knight doth erase!"

             
Corentin's gale of raucous laughter set his bells to jangling. Eudoric smiled thinly, saying: "Sea monsters and demons like man-shaped hedgehogs are not, I see, Armoria's only wonders."

             
"What else? Hast seen our standing stones and ancient tombs?"

             
"Nay; I've not had time to visit them, I refer to your sense of humor, my good jester."

             
"At last!" cried Corentin, throwing up his arms. "A wight who comprehends my genius! Pray join us in the courtyard at the third hour, to view the beheading of six members of last night's mob. Twill be a delicious sight! The cries for mercy! The spouting blood! The rolling sconces!" Corentin's expression of fiendish glee suddenly sobered. "But now, good my sir, ye must excuse me. The kingdom's business doth press upon me. Crops have failed in our southernmost province, and I must organize a shipment of edibles thither. I boast that, during my tenure, not one peasant hath starved; and I should be loath to see that record broken. Good-day!"

             
Back in his temporary quarters, Eudoric told Yolanda about his interview. As he spoke, her face became taut with anger. "You tottyhead! Why demanded you not the half of your gold ere venturing out upon the Rock?"

             
Keeping a tight grip on his temper, Eudoric replied: "Had I been clever enough to foresee the Armorians' trickery, I should not have promised to fetch you home. I could have returned to Letitia saying: Sorry, but the monster ate your royal sister ere I arrived on the scene."

             
Glaring, Yolanda said: "Didst demand my magical apparatus along with your lucre?"

             
"By the Divine Pair, how could I? When I made the contract, I knew nought of your wizardly gimcracks. But when I ask for your baggage—"

             
"So all that I, a royal princess, am worth to you is a sack of reeky gold!" screamed Yolanda. "I've let a worthless fortune hunter make free with my private person! Sneck up! Get out!" She threw a pillow at Eudoric.

             
Eudoric knocked the pillow aside and smiled mirthlessly. "Ere I go, pray tell me: Canst cook? Canst sew? Make beds? Milk a cow?"

             
"Nay! Why should I know the skills of a baseborn hilding?"

             
"Because, when I leave you in Armoria, you must needs find a way to make your living. Farewell!"

             
Eudoric turned away, wondering privately what he would do if, in one of her contrary fits, Yolanda did indeed refuse to return to Letitia with him. In such a case, his Franconian stagecoach line would vanish like a mirage in the Saracenic deserts.

             
As he strode out, Yolanda called, "Eudoric! Come back! I am sorry! J truly meant it not; suffer me to apologize. Let us not start our wedded life so ill! Come to me, love!"

             
Like a man in a cage with a tigress who, having just tried to devour him, was now affectionately rubbing its head against his shanks, Eudoric came. When she embraced him, he recoiled, saying: "Beware! You'll catch my cold!"

             
"I care not," she said, kissing him fiercely. "Since my little spell hath worn away, I'll do what I know be best for you. Off with your raiment and back to bed instanter!"

             
"But I must round up Forthred and prepare for our journey—"

             
"Tomorrow's as good as today, and I can run your errands for you. I regret that you'll miss the beheading. "

             
"I have seen heads fall," growled Eudoric, "and find the sight no very pleasing spectacle."

             
"Oh, Eudoric, be not angry with me again! Forgive my hasty temper! 'Tis vile of me so to carp at him who saved my life. You're an excellent man, and it's my great good fortune that the Three True Gods sent you my way. Come, sweet!"

             
Eudoric let himself be bullied and cajoled back into bed. For the next three days, he had to admit that no one could have been a kinder and more assiduous nurse than this formidable female.

             
The throne room, as Eudoric entered, appeared the same as before, save that the heads staring sightlessly from the rack on the wall had been replaced by six new faces. These, Eudoric supposed, had belonged to the Triunitarian rioters caught by King Gwennon's troopers.

             
"Is your tisic better, Sir Eudoric?" wheezed King Gwennon.

             
"My thanks, Your Majesty. A few days' rest sufficed."

             
"We warned against wet feet—"

             
"Where is your lady fair?" interrupted Corentin the jester.

             
"Resting. She must store up strength for the journey; and she begs Your Majesty, and you, Sir Jester, to excuse her from the fare-thee-we
l
ls."

             
"That female stalwart!" muttered Corentin. "Sick or well, she could tie knots in any man."

             
"We regret her absence," said the King. "Albeit old, we still enjoy the sight of a well-formed woman-even though the sight be all, these days." The King sighed nostalgically.

-

             
As Forthred and a couple of scullions, under Eudoric's direction, were loading the beasts, Eudoric approached his bride. "Yolanda, my animals can bear but a fraction of your baggage. You'll have to discard most of it."

             
"What!" she cried. "Dost expect me, a royal princess, to travel about in my shift, as when I was chained to the Rock?"

             
"The beasts cannot carry so much. I've long worked with horses and mules and know whereof I speak."

             
"Then purchase more beasts!"

             
"What with? We've barely enough money, eating black bread and sleeping in our tent, to take us back to Letitia."

             
"Fear not on that score." From beneath her cloak she produced a large wallet, which jingled encouragingly when she shook it.

             
Eudoric wagged his head. "I still cannot do it, my dear. We must needs cross the lands of the hostile Duke Sigibert of Dorelia. A train of beasts, with extra grooms to manage them, would arouse unwelcome attention."

             
"But as things stand, I am reduced to rags and tatters! When they arrested me, diey took my baggage into custody. Whilst it was in their charge, base varlets stole a half at least."

             
"Can't be helped," said Eudoric firmly. "Six chests would slow our progress, and speed is of the essence. Yonder lie your six chests and sacks; choose
two! Your magical gear will fit one, and the other will furnish a change of clothing."

             
"Have I wedded a blind beggar? Should I join him in the streets with a begging bowl for alms?"

             
The argument raged until Eudoric barked: "Either you make your choice, or I'll make it for you! Or tarry in Armoria, if you prefer!"

             
"Low-born domestic tyrant!" Yolanda muttered, setting herself to opening the six containers and choosing her most valued articles. "That I, a princess of the blood, should submit to rude bullying
...
"

             
"Why need you that green vase?" asked Eudoric. "It is heavy and bulky, and you can surely find another like it in Letitia."

             
"
'Tis part of my magical armory. Rejoice that I have resisted using it on you!" Then she seized him in a bone-cracking embrace. "Oh, dearest Eudoric, there I go again! I swear to mend my cantankerous ways."

-

             
When Ysness faded into Armorian mists behind them, Eudoric said: "Yolanda, whence gat you that money you showed me? Did the Armorians give you back that which you brought from Franconia?"

             
Yolanda rode astride with her skirt hiked up to reveal peasant trews. She laughed. "Nay! I took it myself, whilst you were bidding farewell to the King and his jester."

             
"How did you accomplish that?"

             
"I told you, I still have the tube and powder for the Lesser Immobility. I went to the treasure room, uttered the cantrip, blew the powder into the guard's face, and helped myself to King Gwennon's treasury."

             
"Mean you the guard still stand statuelike—unless he have recovered from your spell?"

             
"So I ween. He may be regaining the use of his members about now."

             
"Good gods, woman, and you took time to argue over which clothes and hair ornaments to take, knowing that this fellow might revive any moment and
sound the alarm? You're out of what little mind you have!"

             
"Eudoric, I will not be spoken to thus! I am a royal princess—"

             
"Forthred!" shouted Eudoric. "Gallop!"

             
The three fled down the narrow road, splashing through mud puddles until all were well spattered.

             
A few hours later they were walking the horses to breathe them as they climbed a slope in the rolling countryside. At the crest, Eudoric halted to twist in his saddle and stare back. Surveying the distance, where the grassy green waves of the meadowlands merged with the misty gray of the sky, he said: