The Incorporated Knight (32 page)

             
An hour later, Eudoric and Yolanda were seated on a settle in the witch's parlor, while Riguntha dabbed ointment on their stings, talking the while: "
...
and when ye opened the door, methought ye were the fabled giants made of bladders, so swollen were ye.
I
'll be bound if your swellings have not already begun to shrink: but I misdoubt ye'll be in fettle to travel again on the morrow. Now then, I'll help you dress.

             
"I see, Princess, that ye wear those newfangled linen undergarments. When they're worn out, ye can sell them to the makers of that new parchmentlike stuff called paper. As for you, Sir Eudoric, how is't that ye do not the same? All Franconians of gentle birth use linen nowadays, whilst ye go about with rough wool nigh unto your skin."

             
"I fear," said Eudoric, "that in this matter the Franconians be ahead of us of the Empire. I must try out this novelty in Letitia."

             
"Aye, aye. 'Tis the same with us countryfolk, being too poor to afford this practice. It reminds me of the time when my husband lived, he went out one day to catch a fish for our supper
...
"

             
Eudoric listened politely, although he found the story of little interest, and he had to pay close attention to follow Riguntha's country dialect. When the anecdote had run its course, he said:

             
"Tell me, Madam Riguntha! As a child I heard that, for the practice of magical arts, one should forswear the pleasures and pains of intimate commerce with the other sex. Back home, I know an eminent adept: Svanhalla of Hasselbourne. I understand that she has lived celibate all her life, the evidence being her assistance to me in capturing a unicorn. But 'tis plain that this stricture has not applied to you ladies. Explain, pray."

             
Riguntha giggled nervously. "A shrewd springald! Know, O Eudoric, that 'tis a matter of degree. An ye'd ascend to the very pinnacle of our profession, such as were needed for feats like flying on broomstick, or inflicting mortal ills upon a foe, or living over a hundred years, such self-denial indeed is requisite.

             
"But I lack such lofty ambitions. Happy am I to attain some modest success in predicting storms, and alleviating diseases of man and beast, and warning the folk against bands of brigands or Duke Sigibert's tax collectors. Not that there's a muchel of difference betwixt the two! If the Triunitarian bishops persuade the Duke to outlaw all magic within the dukedom, save that which they themselves command, the poor folk of Carnutis will lose even the slight succor I can afford em. Have some more beer!"

             
She smiled charmingly at Eudoric. "And now, good my sir, tell me somewhat of the Empire and thy adventures therein." (Eudoric noted the change to the familiar form of address.) "For mine arts do inform me that thou have undergone enough of such for a man of thrice thine age. Here in Carnutis, we get but little news of the world without, aside from what I can glean by mine arts. Therefore I shall hang upon thine every word!"

             
Flattered, for the next hour Eudoric told of his journey to Pathenia, of his hunt for the spider Fraka, and of his capture of the unicorn.

             
When Riguntha carried the plates to the sink, Eudoric cocked an eye at Forthred, murmuring: "Water!"

             
The apprentice hurried out, hoisted the pail out of the well by the windlass, and brought in a bucketful. Eudoric took a towel to dry dishes. Yolanda sat looking uncomfortable. At last she said:

             
"Riguntha, can—may I help?"

             
" Tis good of you to ask, Princess. But tell me: How oft in your life hast washed and dried dishes hitherto?"

             
"N-never; I was never taught such tasks. But if Eudoric, a dubbed knight, can do such menial work
...
"

             
"Then I fear that your aid, however well-meant, would cause more grief than would its absence. These are my only set of crockery; if they be broken, my next guest must dine on wooden platters. But fear not; I shall have other household tasks for you, if ye can gird up your spirit to tackle em."

             
Eudoric suppressed a smile. He was pleased to hear his arrogant, class-conscious princess offering to turn a hand at commoners' tasks. Perhaps, he thought, there was hope for her after all.

             
The couple's bed was an oversized pallet spread on the floor of the main room. Riguntha had the only bedroom; Forthred took a smaller pallet to the pantry. Before Riguntha closed her door, she said:

             
"Pleasant dreams, ye twain. An ye want aught, hesitate not to call on me."

             
She threw Eudoric a dazzling smile, as she and her candle disappeared. Yolanda murmured:

             
"I am loath to complain; but meseems, were I in her shoes, I should have given my visitors the bedroom."

             
"Have you seen her bed?" Eudoric held up his hands two feet apart. "We could never have slept therein unless intertwined like serpents. Of course, if she gave
you
the bedroom, she and I could make do here—"

             
"Eudoric! That is no proper jest!"

             
Eudoric laughed. "Then be glad for what we have. Good-night, my dear."

-

             
An hour later, the hearth fire had died to a clutch of coals. Eudoric found himself sleepless, although the pain and swellings of stings had much abated. His mind kept coming back willy-nilly to Riguntha of Carnutis and her pregnant smile. He sternly told himself that a midnight assignation would be utter madness; the risk appalled his prudent soul. Perhaps Riguntha would gasp and moan so loudly as to awaken the princess. Perhaps Yolanda would awaken anyway and come prowling
...

             
Eudoric's arguments were conclusive, yet something seemed to have taken possession of his wits. While his conscious mind was determined not to yield to this strange urge, his conscious mind was helpless in the grip of this mysterious compulsion. Even as he mentally shouted Stop! Stop! Go back to bed! Be not a bigger fool than you can help! he slid quietly off the pallet, picked up his cloak from a chair, and softly tried the door to Riguntha's bedchamber.

             
It gave at once, the hinge not even squeaking. Eudoric wondered if it had been recently oiled.

             
"Thou art expected," whispered Riguntha, sitting on the edge of" her bed in the light of a candle. "Come in quietly, and slam not the door."

             
With a smile, she laid herself back. Eudoric closed the door softly, shed his cloak, and sat down on the narrow space between Riguntha's hip and the edge of the bed.

             
"Now," she whispered, "show me how the gentlemen of the Empire pleasure their ladies!"

             
Some time later, she said: "I am ready long since. Why dost delay?"

             
Eudoric slumped. "I'm sorry, Madame Riguntha. I'm fordone. I seem unable to rise to the occasion."

             
"Forsooth?" She raised herself. "I see what thou meanst. How doth the princess suffer an impotent man?"

             
"I am not wontedly thus. This has never befallen me before."

             
"Well, we must essay some more, to raise thy spirit."

             
Later he said: "Alas, 'tis of no avail. Something has stolen my manhood."

             
"That lioness whom thou hast wedded, belike. Well, go thy way. I thought to enjoy a gentleman for once; but I see I must make do with unwashed yokels."

             
Eudoric stole back to his pallet. As he started to straighten out beside Yolanda, he became aware, by the faint light from the hearth, that her eyes were open.

             
"Well?" she said. "How went it with my Huano of
Tarraconia?"

             
"Let me explain," he said. "I had to ask her— "Forget the tale of cock and bull. I know what
befell."

             
"You do? Then in the name of the Divine Pair, explain it!"

             
"I blame you not, Eudoric." Yolanda smiled. I saw her slip a potion into your beer and guessed what portended. So I cast a little spell of mine own, lest you consummate the lust she'd imposed upon you."

             
"I hope your spell be not permanent!"

             
"Nay, 'twill wear off in a day or two. For a woman in my position at court, it is a handy device for nobbling lubricious noblemen. Now go to sleep; this time you'll have no difficulty."

-

             
"How far," asked Eudoric, "is Letitia now?"

             
Yolanda replied: "Less than a league. If we turn right at the next crossroad, my palace lies but a bowshot thence. We shall tarry there long enough to make ourselves clean and presentable ere going to the court."

             
"Oh, no, we shan't!" said Eudoric. "I'll fetch you before the King and his minister, render this Armorian treaty, and secure my franchise ere some unforeseen mishap prevent."

             
"Eudoric! Be not like a country boor! You must come before my brother as a proper gentleman, not an enseamed, mud-spattered ragamuffin! To appear as you now are might aggravate the anger he may feel upon discovering that he have an unheralded brother-in-law."

             
"I'm sorry, my dear, but my mind is made up. Business before pleasure! I'll warrant your royal brother have seen many a mud-spattered knight
...
"

             
They began another dispute. Since Eudoric would
not be moved, Yolanda finally subsided into sulky silence. She spurred on ahead, and Forthred moved up beside Eudoric, saying in Locanian:

             
"Master! Sir Eudoric!"

             
"Aye?"

             
"Once ye be settled in the lady's palace, I'll ask release from my service."

             
"By the God and Goddess, why? Haven't I paid you well and treated you kindly?"

             
" 'Tis not that, sir." Forthred fumbled for words. "But I'm fain to return to mine own home, where my betrothed awaits me."

             
"Oh? Then you seek not the highest ranks of the magical fellowship, by remaining celibate?"

             
"Nay, sir. A few good spells are fine, but I'd liefer lead a normal life than spend a century learning how to raise a tempest. Besides, Doctor Baldonius' scholarship doth intrigue me more than his sorceries. And that's not all."

             
"What else?" asked Eudoric.

             
"I fear me that, an I see much more of you and your lady, I shall lose all wish to wed, albeit I've plighted my troth. The sight of you twain, one instant civil and gracious and the next
bawling like Tyrrhenian fishwives, would strike the stoutest lover with terror. I should find such wedlock too vexatious to bear."