The Invisible Papers

The Invisible Papers

Copyright © Agostino Scafidi

All Rights Reserved.

2014

ISBN 978-0-9936659-1-2

This work is dedicated to the stubborn.

Chapter 1

One should wish to wear the same thing every day, much like a uniform “ya dig?” Yeah, doesn’t one hate clothes sometimes? One often also feels like self-destructing. To kill oneself! To leave a body
and
this plane of existence!

But realistically one may just be too lazy to do anything about it. Too lazy, jaded and clueless to go and get what one might want. The thing is, for the most part when one does know what one wants, they never have any trouble getting it. However a lot of the time one has absolutely no idea what one wants yet the rumbling and burning restlessness inside him or her cannot be quenched. Oh how one tries! Is one yearning for sexual release? One knows not for certain. Maybe one does need to get laid!

One is able to numb their frustration but it just comes back as strong as it ever was and maybe even stronger. Is it just a turbulence one has to sit and live with? He or she might guess they have no other choice.

They broke your radio. It may have well been your heart, their heart or all of your hearts but who knows? They will try to tell you that they never felt so horrible for breaking an inanimate object in their entire lives! However in their defence the radio died on them anyhow so it’s not like they destroyed a perfectly good radio okay? They really didn’t see any hope for repair and God knows they tried! But alas in the end it was scheduled for the scrap heap.

So why break a thing even further? Why waste the energy of stomping it to a pulp you might ask? Well they’ll also tell you that the culprit is art. Yes art. Why not turn the disposal ritual into something creative and memorable? After all, a moment lived is better than a moment wasted wouldn’t you agree? Come on they know you would agree!

How desperate are they? If an outside party could observe and take account would they come to the same conclusion? What if we all changed our minds all of a sudden? Does that nullify any outside party’s assessment? Do we still owe them for their time and effort?

What? Is one supposed to look up to such a thing? One refuses to play your games. One refuses to pander to your expectations! Or even to your expectations of expectations! If there were an intelligent way to express laughter in written form then imagine it inserted right here. It’s also possible one is just lacking the awareness of such a method of expression.

Fear, discrimination, ignorance or is it just plain preference? Whatever, if it’s not the ink on one’s skin it’s the style of one’s hair or the height of one’s collar! Money, money, money, that trumps it all! Oh how this exact moment is perfectly suited for laughter once again.

Unbelievable, one tells you. Good God ladies and gentleman, as if any of those exist nowadays. How deep can you go in the arena of lies? How depraved is someone who could dwell so comfortably in the cesspool that is dishonesty? “Do you realize that you make straight-up deceit look like a big comfy blanket?” is what one would love to say to their face. Now don’t run away from this just yet, we’re along for this ride together and it isn’t all peach jam and chocolate.

It’s not just some shortcut. Whenever one sees something fantastic there really is nothing else one would rather do. Leave the hoops to jump through by the wayside and give us the prize! How dirty can one get? Is there a monument one could consult and pray to? Sure one knows it’s idolatry but sometimes “you just gotta stick it to the man”. Right? Well even if you disagree it won’t change one’s position. Hell, even if you agree it won’t make you all friends!

The freedom to revel and even destroy is absolutely crucial otherwise you are left with nothing less than tyranny. One is everyone’s enemy and the masses are asleep. Well that sounds a little better than the amount of sense it might make. However if you look deep enough into anything, sense is always there to be made, wouldn’t you agree?

Is it more than you can handle? Once, twice, three times and still no reciprocation! You know what? Forget it! Take your holier than thou attitude away from here! If you think he or she is going to be like some of the other poor saps that placate to you you’re sorely mistaken, forget it.

Will one be condemned for the things one has tried? For innocent exploration and experimentation? Will you do the condemning?

The time has come for one to unleash a fury upon your head. One will start with your ears though. The anger, the frustration, the rage, the restlessness… It’s all coming forth and there’s no way to stop it. Save the flood metaphor for someone in a more tolerant mood. One just doesn’t care, no regard whatsoever. That pretty much sums it up. Every time one hears your questioning it enrages them. Sitting through your interrogations are torture. Irrelevance is the essence of you.

Chapter 2

How can one describe their innermost depravities in a way that is not gratuitous but substantial? Is there even a point in expressing those concepts? It’s obvious that it’s not up to the reader to provide a solution, a remedy or a cure therefore the only way to ensure substance when covering such a topic would be to use verbosity. Yeah, just endeavour to be as verbose as possible! There you go! See? We did it. It’s over. It’s done with. All right then, moving on!

The humour if not lost on you would have brought by now a state that included chuckling or smiling or an overall uplift, more so than before becoming acquainted with the previous paragraph. In fact you may have even been utterly depressed and “down in the dumps” before reading that last paragraph. Well “y’know” what? You’re welcome. Straight from one to another. That is what depending on a friend should be like. Leaning upon one’s shoulder for strength to navigate through this cruel, brutal and sick world. It’s not sick all the time is it?

What is the point of sharing anything if no one will read it? Why should anyone take such a risk only to be left in the dark when it’s all said and done? Ultimately it’s against any sane person’s will. To be creative requires the type of person who would throw all good sense away and devote hours upon hours to putting something together, all with absolutely no guarantee of recognition. Oh how fair! Here is one doing exactly that although he or she does have the power to protect it, to preserve the integrity of one’s work otherwise there really is no point because breath will continue to draw and release.

No more drugs okay? He or she will live with the pain instead if that’s what it means to be true to oneself. Anyway, all things come to pass sooner or later. It’s just that one has never truly allowed him or herself the opportunity to absorb these feelings completely. One should suffer progress rather than numb the pain by self-medicating because residual pain will stay behind, hidden after every foray away only to ferment and grow stagnant and infect again. It will produce new and more undue torment, all ignorantly self-inflicted.

How can you deny the truth? It’s a common question probably overplayed and stale in this day and age but it still doesn’t change the fact that you’ve denied the truth on more than one occasion! The where, the why, the here and the now. Wishes can’t be granted any more even if you’ve paid for them. Kill time because it doesn’t want to stay here. It’s the only way to survive, oh so cleverly organized and with the ability to move slowly as if it weighed a ton or to fly away quicker than a fly.

Hurting people around you with worry, words and possibly even action. A typical story for so many households, it could be the exception or the rule. It all depends on, well what
does
it depend on? How does such a circumstance come to be dealt out? Who is judged to be the recipient of a certain life situation? Does anyone really deserve to be subjected to these things? One guesses we’ll never really know. All one can hope for is the wisdom to end its cycle in each one’s own life.

Oh futility, it’s what one is reminded of every time they face you however it never stops him or her from returning and trying again. Is he or she just a chump or are they simply persevering? Nobody will say and maybe nobody knows for sure.

Do you think they don’t understand what you’re trying to say? Do you really think you can get away with your backhanded comments? They are not as dim as you think!

Do you have any idea how easily his or her feelings can be hurt? Sometimes you need to pay attention to the moral compass within yourself and ignore the ones of others, but if he or she doesn’t have any morals to begin with then they should be careful where they step when they step outside!

Where did his or her pen go? If someone took it from them then their thoughts would not cease, his or her hands would continue the motions. You cannot stop their heart by removing their hands!

A witch can fool you with her tricks but don’t retaliate without good cause or with forces beyond what is proportional. She is still a witch and her magic cannot be destroyed but she can destroy you. Every magician is cursed with a sense of fairness hence that is something an individual like yourself could take solace in. There always comes a time for justly deserved retaliation, this is something only the worst of the worst forget about!

Don’t worry! Don’t worry! Don’t worry! Everything will be okay! Everything will be all right! Trust him! Look at the smile on his face! How could you
not
put your faith in such a mug? That’s what they thought. Again at this moment one wishes to give you a wink but as always, such subtle and insightful visual expressions are never translated well enough to the written word.

Chapter 3

How can one stand the chaos and the annoyance of the proverbial bees buzzing inside and/or around his or her head? There are as many excuses out there for self-destruction as there are ways to go about it. It’s a revolving door, a carousel with an extra slow pace and horribly decrepit horses stuck to squeaky rusty poles. It’s amazing how even with the force of an army, self-destruction cannot be stopped by anyone but the self.

The soul is sick however it can heal itself in an instant. Momentum is a tool yet it can quickly turn into a nightmarish roller coaster if allowed to.

He or she should be making more money. One forgets sometimes that everything they’re doing is useless and fruitless. This dark cloud of an attitude can easily come to be and thus bring such a thought but it’s really worthless in itself as far as thoughts go. It doesn’t help any, not one bit! Sure money needs to be made and it will be made but one can’t think of a way to make it quickly enough to satisfy his or her horrible mind. He or she might not care enough to satisfy that mind though, so it is left on its own to suffer and complain without a sympathetic ear!

When one gets lost in thought concerning the acquiring of material things absolutely every non-materialistic pursuit begins to seem like a horrible waste of time. One knows very well this is totally untrue yet the thought persists nonetheless. Passing the time is the biggest burden one faces sometimes. The ticking of the second hand or the counting on a digital timepiece is torture! There are times when absolutely nothing can justify the survival of oneself nevertheless it perseveres despite it all!

Breath listens not to material greed. Life goes on whether you’re rich or poor. Times arise when one feels utterly incapable and incompetent and impotent if they are accused of not making enough money regardless of his or her talents, abilities and accomplishments however noble or selfless! Ultimately does one believe their accusers or does one ignore their opposing voices and continue in solidarity with their path? With his or her true path, the inner voice of reason, the inner guide.

Men today still feel this pressure more than women do in Western society. Money is a man’s burden.

Who can deny facts when they’re laid out in front of them? Many, that’s who. It might only be manifested through the efforts of one man but the house will eventually fall if enemies are continually invited over for dinner. Faith is a precious commodity entirely necessary for any proper recovery.

One can sense the attachment people have to devices, items and even ideas, hopes or dreams. All of those attachments are clung to so tightly that a fear emanates surrounding any possibility of losing them. Such an emotional investment they are. Life is fragile, fleeting and one doesn’t wish for their attachments’ demise because it would be a cruel wish.

One may be able to proclaim freedom from all attachment however it may be more feasible to proclaim the willingness to accept the death of an item or device, a hope or a dream.

So are you going to mind your own business or what? Do you think you’re the mediator for every individual around here? Just keep your nose out of other people’s affairs and you won’t seem like such a meddler!

He or she feels like killing themselves, unable to withstand the passage of time, like the heaviest weight imaginable upon their shoulders, forever.

Even if things are going “well” he or she can’t help but wonder about ending them! The quotations are referring to the possible cluelessness concerning the quality of his or her own life and the happenings therein.