The Juliet Club (10 page)

There was a brief silence as everyone absorbed this. Finally Silvia muttered, “Men are pigs.”

Giacomo sighed. “How old was this boy with the spiders?” he asked Lucy in a patient voice, as if they had all gone off the rails but were fortunate that he was there to put them right.

She frowned, as if suspecting a trick, but finally answered, “Eight.”

“As I thought! Far too young to realize what a mistake he was making,” he said triumphantly. “But I'm sure he learned from this sad experience, yes? He didn't keep trying to attract women with spiders?”

“Well, no, of course not,” Lucy said. “Jesse's still real immature, but he's not an idiot.”

“There you are, then.” Giacomo leaned his chair back, teetering on the back two legs, looking pleased with himself. “Everyone makes mistakes in love. The point is to learn from them. For example, Jesse learned—”

“What?” Kate scoffed. “That attacking a girl with spiders isn't a good way to say ‘I love you'? That should have been obvious from the start.”

“Well, yes.” He nodded, as if conceding the point, but then added, “Of course, all knowledge is useful.”

“But not all knowledge is worth the cost.”

“And what cost is that?” Giacomo's deep brown eyes were alight with enjoyment.

“Looking like a fool.”

“Oh,
that
.” He folded his arms across his chest with the air of one who is about to win an argument. “That's nothing to concern yourself with. After all, love makes fools of everyone, don't you agree?”

“No, I don't.” Kate bit off each word. “I don't agree
at all
.”

“How astonishing,” he muttered.

“In fact,” she said meaningfully, “
I
would say that love only makes fools of those who were fools to begin with.”

She smiled at him, clearly pleased with her riposte. Giacomo let his chair fall back to the floor with a thump.

“If the world was left to people like you,” he said in an accusing tone, “we'd all be computing love's logic on computers and dissecting our hearts in a biology lab.”

“If the world were left to people like me,” Kate said with conviction, “it would be a much better place to live.”

“Oh, yes,” he said sarcastically. “Because it would be orderly. Sensible. And
dull
.”

“Love doesn't have to end in riots and disaster and, and, and . . .
spider attacks
!” she said hotly.

He ran his hands roughly through his hair, completely ruining its artfully tousled look. Kate felt a flicker of satisfaction. It was the first time she had seen him make a gesture that didn't look as if it belonged on the stage.

“What's the point of love if you don't risk disaster?” he demanded. He stopped, as if hearing his own voice becoming heated, and took a deep breath. Then he tilted back in his chair again and grinned at her. “Even to the point of spider attacks.”

“I think you're taking this argument entirely too lightly,” Kate said, trying not to sound cranky, and failing.

“And I think you're taking it entirely too seriously,” Giacomo said, trying not to sound rankled, and failing.

That was when Silvia, looking from one to the other, had a very brilliant idea.

Act I
Scene VIII

“I have an idea about how we can play a joke on Kate and Giacomo.”

Silvia had said this in Italian, but it's easy to catch the sound of one's own name being spoken, even in a foreign language. Kate stopped outside the seminar room, her hand on the partially open door.

After class had been dismissed, she had gone all the way to her room only to discover that she had forgotten her favorite pen. Sighing, she had retraced her steps and was now standing very still, her hand on the doorknob. Kate was not a sneaky person by nature. In fact, she prided herself on being upfront and honest and straightforward and direct. But Silvia's voice had sounded gleeful and sly, and Kate was not so honorable that she could resist listening for just a moment.

Casually, she moved down the hall and tried the next door, the door to the room where her father had been teaching his class.

Good, it opened.

And the room was empty. Even better.

She slipped inside and then stepped into the musty darkness of the small cloakroom that connected the two larger rooms, moving gingerly to avoid knocking over an umbrella or rattling wire hangers. She eased the door open a crack and peeked through.

The housekeeper, Maria, was moving creakily around the room with a dust rag. Every few steps, she would stop and dust a piece of furniture with meditative care. Silvia was sitting at the table, glaring at her as if that would make her move faster.

Perhaps it would have, with a more susceptible person. But Maria had the air of a woman who had outlasted wars, famines, pestilence, and a long-term infestation of in-laws. She would not be hurried. She continued pottering around the room, humming slightly under her breath, until Silvia sighed and said, “Let's speak in English, Benno, so she doesn't understand us.”

“Very well,” Benno said. “But be quick—my uncle wants me at the souvenir stand by three o'clock, and he's in a vile temper today. The shipment of candy hearts has gone missing, the woman who paints the small watercolors of Verona is sick with the flu, and yesterday a tourist knocked over an entire shelf of plaster Madonnas.”

“
Basta, basta!
Enough, enough!” Silvia flapped her hand at him. “Why do you talk so much if you are in such a hurry?”

“I'm trying to tell you! Mario will dock my pay if I'm late again.”

“Listen to me!” she hissed. “Today I came up with the idea for a most brilliant joke.”

Benno stopped rattling around the room and gave her a sharp, interested look. “My uncle can wait,” he said. “What kind of joke?”

Through the crack in the door, Kate saw Silvia smile a pointed little smile. “You heard how Giacomo and Kate were arguing during class today.”

“
Si,
of course,” he said, grinning. “Giacomo is sure to make her insane by the time she goes back to America. ”

“Yes, no doubt,” Silvia said, clearly indifferent to Kate's mental state. “But what would be even more diverting,” she went on, “would be to watch Kate drive
Giacomo
to the brink of madness!”

There was a brief pause as Benno looked at her assessingly. Then he laughed. “Oh, I see!” His eyes were filled with wicked delight as he hopped up to sit cross-legged on the table.

“You see what?” Her voice was wary.

“If I were Giacomo, I would be very worried about my safety right now! I would be checking the lock on my door! I would be thinking of hiring a bodyguard! I would be letting the cat taste my dinner for poison—”

“
Basta!
Stop talking like a fool!” Silvia glared at him.

He shook his head in admiration. “I do admire a girl who can hold a grudge.”

Kate's interest quickened. She shifted her position so that she could see Silvia, who had started pacing around the room.

“I don't know what you mean.” Silvia tossed her head with disdain. “I never waste a moment's thought on him.”

“Now, now,” Benno said with false sympathy. “Just because he broke up with you . . .”

“He did not break up with me!” Silvia said, her eyes flashing dangerously. “
I
broke up with
him
!”

“Oh, I'm sorry, you're right, I forgot.” Kate could see Benno watching Sylvia, his face impish. “
You
broke up with Giacomo, and you
never
think about him, and you don't know the
meaning
of the word grudge. Right.” He pretended to be puzzled. “So now why, exactly, do you want to play a trick on him?”

Kate strained forward to hear the answer.

Silvia stopped pacing long enough to snap, “Because it will be fun! And if I must sit in that dreary seminar room for the next month, I might as well find a way to amuse myself!”

“Oh, of course,” he murmured, with only a hint of disbelief in his voice. “That makes perfect sense.”

There was a brief silence. Kate peeped through the crack in the door and saw Silvia, her arms crossed, giving Benno a thoughtful look.

“Also,” Silvia went on, “I think it will be good for his character. You know he is so used to getting his own way.”

“Very true.” Benno still sounded amused.

“And so
arrogant
!” Siliva said, casting a sly sidelong glance at Benno. “He thinks he can make any girl in the world fall in love with him.”

“Hmmph.” Benno's mood shifted. He looked gloomy. “Many of them already have.”

“He barely even has to speak,” Silvia went on, watching him closely. “They just fall in love with him at first sight. Even after he leaves them, they still adore him.”

Benno's face darkened. Silvia was right. It was so unfair. Why was Giacomo blessed with perfectly disheveled brown hair and a classic profile and a warm smile, while Benno had been born with messy black hair and a beaky nose and a lopsided smile? Not to mention
short
.

“È vero
. It's true.” He fell back on the table and crossed his arms, staring blackly at the ceiling. He had dated exactly two girls in his life, and both relationships had ended with screaming recriminations, a series of increasingly violent text messages, and, in one case, a few very scary threats from a protective older brother. Benno wasn't sure why his love life seemed destined to turn into grand opera; he just knew that he always went wrong somewhere. And, he feared, he always would.

“It would be so satisfying,” Silvia finished softly, “to see Giacomo play the fool for once.”

“More than satisfying,” Benno muttered. “It would be cosmic justice.”

“And that Kate!” Silvia rolled her eyes.

Kate frowned and pressed her ear to the door.

“She has a very superior attitude, don't you think?”

Kate dug her fingernails into her palms.

“She seems all right,“ Benno said offhandedly. “A little too serious, maybe.” He turned his head to look at her. “Why? What does Kate have to do with this?”

“That is the trick we play!” Silvia's voice was triumphant. “We will make them fall in love with each other.”

“What? How?“ Benno sat up, startled. “They could not be more unlike each other!”

“Exactly! That is what will make the spectacle so diverting!” she said, her eyes gleaming with mischief. “This Kate, she's the type who always has her nose in a book, yes?” Silvia lowered her voice. “Can you imagine Giacomo trying to woo her?”

“Maybe he won't,” Benno said. “Maybe he'll just let her yearn for him from afar.”

Silvia gave a little snort at that. “You know Giacomo. He loves a challenge. And he can't resist the idea of being adored.”

“That's true,” Benno said thoughtfully. He and Giacomo had been friends since they were five years old. Good friends, of course, stalwart friends, loyal friends . . .

On the other hand, it did get tiresome, having a friend who made love look so easy. He gave a malevolent chuckle. “And after all, it is just a joke.”

“Exactly,” Silvia agreed with satisfaction. “All in good fun.”

Act I
Scene IX

The only value this seminar would ever have, Giacomo thought to himself, would be if one day he was threatened with life imprisonment by a clever lawyer who was intent on twisting his words, misconstruing his meanings and showing that every opinion he had was false, not only in its conclusion, but in its very premise. Perhaps, in that unlikely event, he would be able to use this experience to out-argue the lawyer and emerge from his dank prison cell into the sunshine of a new day.

He took a moody sip of espresso and silently counted up how many days he was expected to spend in this purgatory. The answer was appalling. Determined to wallow in gloom, he then figured out the number of hours and had just moved on to calculating the actual minutes when he was abruptly interrupted.

“Giacomo, good, I'm glad I found you. I have to talk to you!”

He looked up to see Kate standing next to his table, her posture as straight as a sentinel, her eyes snapping with righteous indignation.

“Of course,” he said warily. In his experience, conversations that began, “I have to talk to you” rarely ended well. “Please, sit down.”

“Grazie.”
She pulled the chair back and sat down, jostling the table.

His elbow had been propped on that table. Sighing, he looked down at the coffee stain on the cuff of his pristine white shirt, then waved for the waiter to bring two more espressos.

Kate didn't seem to notice. She crossed her arms and leaned in to him. “I just overheard Silvia and Benno talking!”

He dipped his napkin in his water glass and dabbed at his sleeve. “You were eavesdropping?” Perhaps there was some hope for her after all, he thought. After all, eavesdropping was a sin, if a minor one. From what he had observed so far, this Kate was too saintly for comfort. He glanced across the table and saw her straighten up in her chair, blushing.

“Not on purpose, of course!” she said.

Ah, well. “Of course not.”

“I just
happened
to go back to the seminar room to get my notebook.”

He gave her a look of polite interest.

“And I just happened to be in the cloakroom when they started talking.”

He shaded that look with a hint of disbelief.

“And then I couldn't leave without them thinking that I was hiding there.”

He increased the disbelief to outright incredulity.

“And so I waited and it's good that I did, because that's when I heard them decide to play a prank on us. A really stupid, humiliating prank.”

“Oh, yes?” he said, as he continued to rub at the stain on his shirt. The waiter brought their espressos to the table; Giacomo nodded his thanks. “Well, Benno is always playing jokes, he was born a clown.”

“It wasn't his idea at all,” Kate said, miffed by his reaction. “It was Silvia's.”

He stopped paying attention to his sleeve. “Silvia?” Giacomo knew the way Silvia's mind worked; it was subtle and cunning and malicious.

“Yes,” she said. “They're trying to pull a Beatrice and Benedick on us.”

“I'm sorry?”

“
Much Ado About Nothing
,” she said, as if it was obvious. “Beatrice and Benedick are two characters who are always insulting each other, so their friends decide to make each think that the other has fallen in love with them and then—”

“Yes, I know the play,” he said, with an edge in his voice.

“Well, they want to fool us into thinking that we've fallen in love with each other. They seemed to think it would be like watching a farce.”

“A farce?” A slight frown appeared on Giacomo's face. “Why?”

“Oh, because we were arguing in class, I suppose.” She took a sip of her espresso. “I, apparently, am too serious!” she said, clearly outraged.

“Well, eavesdroppers seldom hear good things about themselves,” he said in a pious tone.

Kate glared at him. “And
you
are too—” She stopped abruptly and smiled down at her espresso. “Well. I suppose I really shouldn't pass on what they said about you.” She took a little sip. “That would be
most
unkind of me.”

She smiled sweetly at him. Strands of hair had come loose from her braid; in the light from the window, he could see them floating around her head like a golden halo. But the eyes that looked at him over the edge of her coffee cup were too challenging to belong to an angel, he was sure of that. And the way she just waited, with that knowing look on her face, as if she knew he wouldn't be able to resist asking her. . . .

“What did they say about me?”

He would have thought it impossible, but she looked even more smug. “
You
are too frivolous,” Kate reported with satisfaction.

“Hmm.” A slight frown appeared between his eyebrows.

“When it comes to girls, that is,” she went on, watching his scowl deepen. “In fact,” she added, enjoying this report, “Silvia called you a
farfallone
.”

He looked annoyed.

“What does that mean, anyway?” She had been wondering ever since she had heard Silvia spit out the word as if it were the vilest insult she could utter.

“A man who chases women,” he said.

“Oh. Well, I can see why you wouldn't appreciate that, but—”

“I do not dislike the term because of its
definition
,” he interrupted. “I dislike it because it is
inaccurate
.” He took a tiny sip of espresso before adding complacently, “I do not chase women. They chase me.”

She just said, “Oh,
right
,” but he could see her nose turn pink and knew that he had annoyed her. “Anyway, they kept going on about how we were total opposites and that was what would make the whole spectacle so funny.”

“Really?” He looked at her speculatively. “Well, it's often said that opposites attract.“

“You're thinking of magnets,” she corrected him. “Not people.”

He opened his mouth to argue, but she was still talking. “It's completely ridiculous!” she was saying. “As if
I
would ever be attracted to
you
!”

“Or I to you,” he said, stung. Then he took another sip of his bitter espresso, and gave the situation more thought. The idea that Silvia and Benno could even contemplate tricking him in this way made him flush with anger. The idea that they had chosen Kate—serious, pragmatic, down-to-earth Kate—as his potential love interest irritated him beyond belief. And the mere fact that they believed that he would fall for their simple trap made him determined not just to avoid it, but to retaliate with his own plan. A plan that was so cunning and clever that they would be the ones to end up thoroughly hoodwinked.

So he said, “Here's what I think we should do: turn the tables on Silvia and Benno. That would teach them a lesson!”

She gave him a glance—half wary, half interested—over the rim of her coffee cup. “How would we do that?”

“We would pretend that their prank is working,” he said, as if this were obvious. “We would pretend that we were falling in love.”

“But all the time they thought they were fooling us,
we
would be fooling
them
,” she finished slowly, a small smile flickering across her face. Her eyes met his, and for the first time, Giacomo saw that there was a hint of mischief hidden somewhere inside Kate.

He smiled back and took a thoughtful sip of coffee. He could have fun pretending to fall in love with Kate, he thought. It was so amusing to tease serious girls. He liked the way they condemned his every move. It made him feel worldly and depraved.

Still, this plan sounded like a lot of work, and he had been looking forward to doing as little as possible this summer. Perhaps it would be wiser to let it go. . . .

But Kate had been watching him closely and seemed to sense his second thoughts. “Of course, we may not be able to pull it off,” she said. “But it would be a shame for Sylvia and Benno to think they were right. . . .” Her voice trailed off suggestively.

He gave her a cool look, but he couldn't help asking. “About what?”

She gave him a smug smile. “They said,” she reported carefully, “that you would never see the trap they set until it was too late. They said that you were, well, a little too caught up in yourself, perhaps, to notice that a trick was being played.”

The image of Silvia and Benno sniggering behind his back stiffened his resolve. He set his coffee cup down, rather harder than he meant to, and it rattled in the saucer. Kate's smile widened.

“Then let's let them think that, and use their self-confidence against them,” he said, forcing himself to smile back at her. “If this is a battle of wits, I have no doubt that we will end up the winners.”