The Keys to Jericho (11 page)

Seeing her in the gym before a school rally, I walked up from behind and put my arms around her. I hadn’t done that in so long and it made me realize how much I missed her close to me. It also forced me to remember
why
I had a tough time doing it. Her sweet perfume was like a sledgehammer to my resolve.

“Hi, Kit Kat.”

“Hello.”

My mouth was close to her ear and I wanted to run my lips over her neck, taking in her taste and scent. If I stayed like that any longer, I would’ve been fully erect and rubbing my cock against her ass.

Not that I didn’t think about ever doing that.

Every damn day.

She didn’t say any more than that and her body was rigid—not like mine. Hers was a distant aloofness and I got the feeling she didn’t want me touching her, so even though I knew I had to, for the sake of public decency, I reluctantly stepped away.

For days, I tried talking more to Kat, but she still didn’t want to give me a second of her time. That was agonizingly obvious when she suddenly disappeared from the normal places we ran into each other. I had my timing down to a science, just so I could see her for five seconds after my biology class. Therefore, when it turned into days on end, I knew something was wrong.

That Friday, before the tardy bell rang, signaling the start of 3
rd
period, I hung outside her classroom like a snake waiting to strike its prey. When she hurriedly rounded the corner, I hooked her arm and reeled her to me. Her eyes flew over my face as she gulped for air. I asked her what was wrong, hoping she’d tell me she was jealous, yet she didn’t say that. She didn’t say anything, really. My face was a breath away from hers, not because I was mad, but because I was so close to kissing her, wanting to lose fucking control with her right in that hallway for anyone to see. What the hell was wrong with me?

The day I got out of English to catch a glimpse of Kat at lunch, turned into nothing less than a shock for me. I saw her, but I didn’t see her with a bunch of girls. I saw her walking next to a guy—a guy whose face I wanted to slam into a locker until his teeth crumbled. The rage I felt was new and hard to swallow. I was trying to make her jealous with Amie, but I hadn’t anticipated she’d not be affected by it at all, or for her to run to someone else. This was backfiring. I was beyond frustrated, yet I still refused to give up the need for her to want me.

It was imperative that she wanted me.

When I confronted her about the fucker, she denied he was her boyfriend. I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted to tell her I was teasing her, but failing. I wanted to tell her
I
wanted to be her boyfriend. I wanted to tell her…so much. However, I still couldn’t. Again, I was in the position of having to let her go without resolving a damn thing.

I had to let her escape without us really saying anything to each other. As usual.

By my 18th birthday, things were extremely strained between us, to the point that we were barely speaking to each other. I had eased up using Amie as much, since my ploy wasn’t working.

So fed up with the clusterfuck we were in, I wanted to have it out with Kat. I spent my entire English class writing her a long note, laying it all on the line, telling her there was…something…going on between us, and that she had to feel it, too. Thus, leaving the ball in her court for her say she wanted me. That part was crucial. I was going to give her the note before she went into class, but she’d have to come to me afterward if she did want me. I didn’t care if we had an audience, or if we were going to be late for class. I was going to get my answer
and
my Katriona Merrick that day.

Before class was dismissed and I had to meet Kat to give her the note, I was so fucking anxious. My leg bounced like a jackhammer breaking concrete. Unfortunately, Dash sat next to me, witnessing my crunching nerves.

“What’s your problem, Jericho?”

“Nothing. Who says I have a problem? I don’t have a problem.”

“Yeah. Convincing. You’re going to set off the Richter scale with your leg bouncing. Girl trouble?”

“Nope. None.”

“Uh, huh. Is Hadley single?”

“What the hell?”

I irritably scowled at Dash, but at least it stopped my leg for 10 seconds.

Kat had chemistry class during my lunch hour, so I headed down to her classroom. I leaned against the open door, impatiently watching everyone walking toward me. Finally, when Kat turned the corner, I smiled, but it soon crashed to the floor. Around her shoulder hung an arm that wasn’t mine. It was some douchebag’s, and they were smiling at each other. Mid-hallway, they stopped and he hugged her, kissing her forehead. My hand clutched the door, willing it to break before
I
did. However, it was too late. Pissed off beyond anything I’d ever felt, I swung the door, making it loudly bounce off the bank of lockers next to the room, before storming down the other end of the hall to the cafeteria, not stopping until I was outside.

She had said she didn’t have a boyfriend, but that was months ago. Had I wasted my time? Did I even have a prayer of her going out with me? She didn’t want an
us
.

She didn’t even want
me
.

I was finished. Done.

Two days before her 17
th
birthday was the last day of school for my senior class. Before I left the building on my final day as a high school student, I found Kat and asked her if she was going to miss me. I don’t know why I did it, because either way, I really didn’t want to hear the answer. I just had to see her one last time.

When she said she would miss me, I didn’t believe her. She didn’t seem to want me while I was there. Why should she feel any differently about me
not
being there?

I forced a smile and promised her I’d call her in a few days.

Right.

Before I questioned her about her boyfriend, and about what the hell we’ve been doing for two years, I turned and walked away from Kat Merrick.

I was wrecked for months—for years—over her, and I never wanted to suffer through something like that ever again. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.

I won’t.

It happened just like I knew it would if I got involved with Kat, being more entangled with her than any of my past girlfriends. I knew she’d do exactly what I was afraid of and someone ended up getting hurt. Me.

After I left her, I swore I’d never let another female rip my fucking soul out, like she did to me. I never told anyone about the one-sided tug-of-war I had with Kat. Not Dash, my dad, Hadley, or Rio. No one knew.

“Jared, what’s wrong?” Kat’s voice rattles me and I glance back to her face—a face I didn’t even recognize five minutes ago, not that she made it easy with all the makeup she has on or her sunglasses hiding her blue eyes, which really aren’t blue.

Dash obnoxiously laughs and says, “I think you shocked my man into last week.”

She says, “Believe me. I was shocked when he showed up at my mom’s. I thought I was seeing a ghost.”

“Jericho? Yeah, he
can
be scary sometimes.”

Their carefree joking and the encroaching crowd around us are too much for me to take. Kat had changed the course of my life and now she was back to fuck it up even more. She’s all I thought about, day in and day out, for my last two goddamn years of school.

And I’ve tried to forget her every day since.

I open my mouth to say something, but I’m still speechless. The only thing I can manage is, “I gotta get out of here.”

Taking a step back, I push through the crowd, leaving Kat behind me.

Again.

CHAPTER 7

“Are you going to tell me what happened at the marina?” my dad annoyingly probes.

I cross my arms and restlessly shift my legs. “Are
you
going to tell me how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?”

“Jared.”

Teetering on frustration, I sigh and turn my head to look out the window. “Nothing happened. I got bored and left.”

“You seemed upset to me.” I hate that he’s so perceptive, or a lucky guesser. Not sure which one, but I hope it’s the latter.

With a testy laugh, I scoff, “Yeah. Upset that I wasted my time there with Calder.”

He gallingly counters, “Because you have so many other pressing engagements to attend?” I’ve been awake for approximately 13 minutes, and my dad is already getting on my fucking nerves. He must be seriously trailing behind in meeting his weekly nagging quota.

“If you absolutely need to know, I
do
have other things going on.” Sadly, I don’t. Every night, we eat in an uncomfortable silence or even worse, endure his small talk. Jesus. If I have to hear any more about this week’s weather fronts, storm patterns, and record lows, I won’t be held responsible for blocking all his local stations, including The Weather Channel, before throwing his remote controls onto the expressway during rush hour.

After this tedious, evening routine, I clear the table and tell him I’m going to bed early. I’m not a kid anymore. I’m 30 years old. He’s giving me zero room to breathe. I’ll gladly take someone putting a pillow over my face if it’d mean I struggled less.

Of course, he continues, “I wasn’t the only one who wondered where you went last night. Dashiell was wondering what happened to you.”

I frown at the window. “Maybe
Dashiell
needs to find a hobby or new friends.”

Dad chuckles as he turns onto Brenda’s street. “I don’t think he’d know what to do without you, you’ve been friends for so long.” He pulls alongside the curb, behind Lange’s blue pickup.

“Too long,” I grumble, getting out of the truck. Shutting the door and stepping back, I spot a certain black Subaru parked further up the street. Fuck. I was hoping he wouldn’t show up, instead choosing to sweep up sequins from a stage.

“Hey, Jericho! Mr. Beckett! Long time no see!” Speak of the Devil’s never-aging assistant. I turn to see him jogging to us from the side of the house.

“Not long enough,” I gripe.

My dad gives me a sharp look before heading up the walkway. “Good morning, Dashiell.” He squeezes Dash’s upper arm as they pass each other.

As I go to follow, Dash grabs my arm. “Hey. Will you
please
tell me what happened last night? We
need
to talk.”

Moving my arm from his grasp, I sneer, “No, your onset of puberty is what’s long overdue.”

His smile disappears and his forehead wrinkles. “Fuck, Jared. I’m not kidding,” he snaps, taking me aback somewhat. What the hell?

“Drop it,” I warn, obliging him to momentarily glance away from me. I go to start walking, but he again grabs my arm.

More determined, he says, “No way. There’s so much shit you’re not telling me.”

I growl, “I’ve told you everything. Now let go of my arm before I break all your fingers in half.” He lets go of me and I make my way to the build, knowing without a doubt, he’ll follow me.

“Stop fucking walking away!” I nearly stop, again surprised by Dash’s entire demeanor about my situation, but I keep walking, which pisses him off. “There you go! When life gets too hard for Jared Beckett or he’s faced with something painful, he ditches.” I refute that. I’ve dealt with my problems, but they’re never resolved—coming back to me like a boomerang, as is proven with Kat’s return. So really, what’s the point anymore? Ignoring them has become second nature to me.

Dash affixes, “Deal with this! Let me finally be able to help you!”

That strikes a nerve with me. I don’t need anyone’s help. I’m not a victim and I’m not as crazy as people think.

I stop and turn around, glaring at him. “And what the fuck, pray tell, can
you
do? Get me a coupon for a private lap dance? No, thanks.”

He self-righteously smiles through my hard stare, his blue eyes sparkling with unspoken threats of trouble. “I had dinner with Kat last night. I learned a lot.”

I anxiously endeavor to not show Dash that what he said rankles me. He’ll only run with it.

Executing a well-timed smile, I make an effort to joke, “Great, because you really need to learn to stop wearing a diaper.”

Dash crosses his arms and heavily sighs, sadly shaking his head. “Deflection: another great feature of Jared Beckett.”

Putting a hand on my hip and scrubbing the other under my hat, into my hair, I glance around for obvious witnesses, contemplating if I should kill him here, or bait him and do it somewhere else.

Deciding to deal with him later, I impart, “Fuck off,” as I turn to leave.

“We talked about you.”

With my back to him, I swallow hard, but pledge that if I can’t hold down my breakfast, I’ll be giving it to Dash’s shirt as a parting gift.

He tauntingly says, “Don’t you want to know what she said?”

Reluctantly, I face him, careful to maintain eye contact to emphasize my point, since looking away will only implicate me, making him instantly suspicious. “Nope.” That’s actually true. I don’t want to hear how much of a jerk she thinks I am, even though she’s one of the people that made me the jerk I am today.

“Well, would it interest you to know she’s a Gemini?”

I irritably roll my eyes and blow out an exasperated breath of air. “Even less.”

Throwing his arms out to his sides, he gawks at me like I’m two cans short of a case, and impatiently states, “Soulmate compatibility for an Aries!”

Pushing up on the bill of my ball cap, I affectedly widen my eyes. “Hot damn! I’m
all over
that!”

Dash averts his head, grumbling something under his breath before looking back to me. “Can’t you take this seriously and believe
some
of what I tell you?”

“I
do
believe some of it because clearly, I have a charming knack for inviting obnoxious Libras into my life.”

“I’m a Pisces.”

“Whatever.”

He scratches his hairless face, while glancing over at the construction and then to me. “Why didn’t you tell me about Kat?” His bringing up her name promptly puts me on the defensive.

Crossing my arms, I divert my attention to cars driving past. I monstrously fail at sounding indifferent. “Why didn’t
you
?”

“We became friends in college. I had heard of her in high school, but I didn’t know her like
you
apparently did. I didn’t even know she had been your driver’s ed. partner.”

I shrug as I intently look at anything but him. “She was just a girl in my class. Nothing more.”

“What about Rio? Did you tell him?” Before I can answer with a
fuck no
, he says, “I remember how different you used to be. For a while in high school, you were almost content, like you had something to look forward to. Then the next thing I knew, you crawled inside yourself and never came out.” I refuse to talk about that, especially here.

I flatly reply, “And this is why I don’t tell Duquesne anything, either. You’re both screwy.” Pulling my cap back down and making another attempt at getting to work, I start walking to the site and as expected, Dash trails behind me.

“I think I need to call him.”

Stopping, I spin around to see him pulling out his phone from his pocket. “Dash, don’t even.”

With that plea raising red flags, he circumspectly asks, “Why not?”

I scoff, “There’s nothing to tell him and if there were, why would he care anyway?”

Dash dolefully frowns. “Of course he’d care.”

“No, as much as
you
annoyingly want to be involved, he thankfully won’t. So, Xerox that fucking page from Duquesne’s life manual and leave my past alone.”

He swings his arm out, still holding onto his phone. “Jericho. Just tell me what happened.”

Glaring at him, I clench my teeth, stiffly answering, “I told you. There’s nothing to tell.”

Cocking his head, he asks, “Really?” but the disbelieving tone in his voice borders on getting him a knuckle sandwich express-delivered to his face.

“Really,” I growl.

He shrugs and looks around us, oddly conceding. “Okay.”

I let out a slow breath and turn to walk up the ramp to the front entry, dreading this day and mentally counting how many beers I’ll drink tonight before passing out.

As I take a step onto the plywood, Dash says, “By the way, her lips tasted better than dessert.”

Lightning fast, and before I can register what I’m doing, I spin around, grab him by his white T-shirt, jerking him to me. “I will fucking throttle you.”

He laughs and points at my chest. “Ha! I
knew
it!
She
was the one you were so fucked up over in high school!”

“Shut your fucking mouth, Calder. You don’t know shit.” I give him a light shove and release his shirt. Saying nothing further, I twist my hat around before attempting to walk away, yet again.

“Jesus Christ, Jericho. That’s it, isn’t it? Why didn’t you tell me? I’m your best friend and you never said a word about her.”

“Like I’m not now.”

Undeterred, he follows me into the foyer. “Rio’s right. You’re like a damn robot. You compartmentalize all your emotions away so you don’t have to feel anything. We know you’ve been hurt and don’t trust people. We’re here for you, though. We want to help.”

Trying to seem uninterested, I peer down the hallway and then into the living room area, muttering, “I don’t need any help.”

“You’re absolutely clueless.” He morosely laughs. “From the way you’re acting, I know how you
really
felt about her.”

Stomping up the stairs to escape him and to find Lange or Tony, I reply, “Yeah. It’s the same feeling of contempt I have for you.”

He mercilessly follows, reminding me of the little, gray mouse that followed his uncle Jerry around in the cartoons.

“Nope. I
know
, Jericho. I know exactly what it was. I’ll keep it to myself for now, but I plan on playing that card soon if you force me.”

When I reach the landing, I stop and incredulously regard him. “Is that a threat?”

“It’s not a threat. It’s a straight-up promise.” Dash’s determination would be honorable if he weren’t fucking with my life.

Gripping the temporary railing, I argue, “Sticks, stones, and idle threats, Calder. I already know what you’re going to say and it’s 110 percent false.” Roy passes us on the stairs, giving us cordial smiles, in which Dash customarily overdoes his.

From three steps below me, Dash seamlessly resumes, “Oh, yeah. Because you think you’re above it.”

“It’s all bullshit and I refuse to allow a modicum of a possibility. That ship sunk before it even left the harbor.”

“Because you loaded it with gunpowder.”

“Is everything okay?” my dad asks coming down the stairs.

“Yeah. Dash just thinks he’s a know-it-all.”

“No. I just know you.”

“I doubt that if you didn’t know me as well as you thought you did in high school.”

“Evidently, you didn’t know anything in high school, either.” I take a step down, but my dad meets us in the middle, sticking his arm out, blocking me from getting closer. Dash grumbles, “Typical Aries.”

“What
now
?” I snap.

“You didn’t even pay attention to her feelings then. Even now, you’re not!”

“I didn’t know it
was
her!” As I raise my voice, Dad’s hand pushes my chest, holding me back as I try to lean toward Dash.

“That’s because you can be so self-possessed!”

“She looks different!”

Dash swiftly shakes his head. “Not
that
different. You just didn’t look close enough.”

“Leave it alone, Calder! It’s none of your business anyway!”

He ignores me, as everyone else seems to do on a regular basis. “You have another chance! Don’t lose her a second time!”

My dad’s mouth becomes a gaping hole before he eagerly asks, “Lose who?”

Glaring at Dash, I cuttingly answer, “Nobody.” If Dash blabs to my dad, I’ll never speak to him again.

Dash bitingly laughs. “Go ahead, Jericho. You’re halfway there to losing her all over again.”

“I guess that would be equal to you just losing your virginity yesterday. What’s that in
Dash years
? Fifteen?”

My dad steps in between us. “Okay, guys. Jared, go get to work. Dashiell, you’re with me.”