fanatic, the long face unmarked by emotion, so Trahearne and I nodded quickly. His face wasn't unpleasant, just blandly, hysterically objective. Maybe a steady diet of porno flicks had softened his features, but I
couldn't begin to guess what had happened to his
clothes. Perhaps he had slept in his shiny black suit.
Several times. Badly. Certainly he had dined in it. Or
off it. A blossom of tomato sauce with a dried
mushroom bud served as a boutonniere, and his thin
black tie, tugged into a knot the size of an English pea,
as a napkin.
"What can I do for you gentlemen?" he asked as it
became apparent that we hadn't come to discuss the
state of the art.
I showed him my license and explained my business.
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Before I could finish, he scampered to a 5 x 8 file, rifled
it, and came up with both hands full of cards, waving
them at the walls of his small apartment, which were
banked with file cabinets and shelves and stacks of film
cans.
"Animal Passion," he said, holding out his right
hand. "Animal Lust," he added with his left. "Take
your choice, gentlemen. Not a particularly imaginative
title, either of them, but damned popular. " He simpered at his own joke.
"Low, low budget," I said, "with a group grope for a
finale."
"Aren't they all," he said with his frail laugh. "Could
you give me an approximate date?"
"Late sixties maybe. "
"Major actress blonde or brunette?"
"Blonde."
"Right," he said, then replaced the cards into their
file, shuffled them again. "Perhaps this is it," he said as
he read a card, his narrow bloodless lips mouthing a
long number. He dashed over to a stack of film cans
and jerked one out of the middle so quickly that the
ones above it fell down with a neat solid thunk. "If I
remember this one correctly, it's simply trash," he said,
"without a single redeeming feature. Would you like to
see it?"
"You mind?" I asked Trahearne.
"Why should I mind?" he said, looking very confused.
"Your romantic illusions," I said, then laughed.
"Oh," he said, "oh yeah. Those." His confusion
seemed to clear itself up. For him, though, not for me.
"Roll it," he said crisply, and Richter threaded the
film.
It was basic, all right, perhaps even pitiful. It was
Betty Sue Flowers, too. No matter how often I looked
away, when I looked back she was there. She had
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gained enough weight to make her figure more than
Reubenesque , and if she hadn't been able to move it
with some grace , she would have seemed grotesque and
comic as a chubby young housewife clad only in a frilly
apron, her thick blond hair gathered into two unbraided pigtails that framed her fat face.
At least the plot was thin. First, a little minor-league
action with a pair of bewildered toy poodles, then some
major-league work with the neighborhood help: a
postman, a milkman, two meter readers, and a grocery
boy with pancake over his wrinkles. Among the five
men, they had enough beer guts, knobby knees,
blurred tattoos, dirty feet, and crooked dicks to outfit a
freak show. In the finale, as they gathered in a carefully
arranged pile about the kitchen table, they looked even
more distraught than the poodles had, and their faces
contorted with pain as they all tried to come at once as
Betty Sue worked at all of them together. Everybody
was stoned blind, and the crew kept stumbling on
camera or into the lights or jerking the camera in and
out of focus. You could almost hear the sigh of relief
when they rim out of film. The whole thing seemed
about as exciting as jerking off into an old dirty sock.
But Betty Sue, in spite of the fat and her eyes, which
were as blank as two wet stones, had something that
had nothing to do with the way she looked. She seemed
to step into the degradation freely, without joy but with
a stolid determin,ation to do a good job. In spite of
myself, I was excited by her, which made the whiskey
curdle in my stomach. I worked on righteous anger but
only came up with quiet sadness and a sick sexual
excitement. I saw why Gleeson hadn't wanted to talk
about the film; I didn't either. No more than I wanted
to look at a large, ugly scar that split the center of her
pudgy abdomen.
"That wasn't funny at all," Trahearne growled as the
film unthreaded itself and flapped like a broken shade.
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"Don't blame me," Richter said as he began to
rewind it.
"Think I'll hobble outside for a breath of fresh air
and about a gallon of whiskey." Trahearne said as he
heaved his bulk out of the chair.
After he left, I asked Richter if he knew any of the
actors' names.
"Surely you jest," he said. "In this business, only the
creme de la creme have names, and usually they are
assumed. However, I did recognize the chap who
played the milkman-in another context, of course."
"What context?"
"He once ran a pornographic bookstore downtown,"
he said, "and I think his name was Randall something
. . . Randall Jackson. "
"Is he still in town?"
"No, he left after this film," he said, "which was his
single effort. I seem to remember someone telling me
that he was some sort of paperback distribution agent.
In Denver, I think. "
I asked if he knew anybody else or anything else
about the film, but he had never seen the girl again,
which meant that she had dropped out of the business. I
thanked him, then stood up to leave.
"Do you mind if I ask you a question?" I said.
"Of course not," he answered pleasantly.
"What are you doing with all these films?"
"Catalogue, classification, and cross-indexing. Pre-
paring for a scholarly study of the decline of American
pornographic film."
"Isn't all this expensive?"
"I have a grant," Richter said blithely. I didn't ask
from whom. I didn't want to know. As I left, he was
humming as he reloaded his projector.
Outside, Trahearne and Fireball were sitting back,
drinking and watching the Sunday traffic on Folsom
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Street-two cabs, a babbling speed freak, and an
Oriental wino. I climbed into the car, wishing I had a
greater variety of drugs with me. Or less blind luck.
"Was that the girl you were looking for?" Trahearne
asked.
"No," I lied. "It looked something like her but it's
some chick named Wilhelmina Fairchild."
"Could be a stage name," Trahearne suggested.
"No," I said. "Richter knows the lady personally.
She's working in a massage parlor over in Richmond.
So unless she's developed a German accent since she
left horne, it wasn't Rosie's daughter. " I wasn't sure
why I lied to Trahearne. Maybe because I was embarrassed for Rosie. Or for myself. Whatever, I didn't want him to know that it had been Betty Sue on the
screen, flickering among so many hands.
"For Rosie's sake, I'm glad," Trahearne said. "I
stopped in her place by accident and drank there a
couple of days because I liked the place and her
bulldog. I didn't talk to her much, but I liked the way
she poured the beer and handled the bar, so I'm glad
her daughter didn't end up like that. Or worse. "
"Me too," I said.
"What now?"
"Palo Alto."
"Why?"
"To talk to Betty Sue's best girl friend from high
school," I said.
"Maybe she's out," he said. "Maybe you should call
first. Maybe we should hang around the city tonight.
Have a few drinks, you know, relax and rest a bit."
"No rest for the wicked," I said , then tucked the
Caddy between a taxi cab and a semi-truck, ripping off
two dollars' worth of Trahearne's tires. "It's a nice day
and a pretty drive," I added as soon as the truck driver
stopped blowing his horn.
88
"If we survive it," he said.
"You want to drive this fucking barge?" I asked
angrily, mad about my lie and the movie.
"You just drive it however you want to, son,"
Trahearne said, holding up his hands. "But don't get
mad at me. I'm not in charge of the world."
"Sometimes I can't tell if I'm crazy or the world's a
cesspool," I said.
"Both things are true," he said, "but your major
problem is that you're a moralist. Don't worry,
though."
"Why?"
"It'll pass with age," he said. "But talking about
crazy-what was that fellow doing with all those
films?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
I was partialiy right. It was a nice drive. Except for a
scuffle Fireball had with a large gray poodle who
wanted to sniff his ass at a rest area, and except for the
rich lady in the Mercedes who belonged to the poodle
and who slapped Trahearne when he suggested she
do something impossible and obscene with her lousy
damned play-pretty mutt, it was a lovely drive. But
Trahearne was right about calling Peggy Bain first.
The girl who lived in the apartment address Albert
had given me didn't know where Peggy Bain lived, but
she did know somebody who might. We spent the
afternoon kicking around from apartments to bars and
back again, talking to a long series of people who knew
where she might be. Finally, as we tried the last
possible place, a backyard barbeque all the way up in
La Honda, the sun headed behind the coastal hills and
Trahearne began to whine like a drunken child. He had
forgotten his promise to stay at least as sober as me.
Trahearne and Fireball were as drunk as dancing pigs.
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