At least the bulldog had the decency to pass out in the
back seat. As we parked in the string of cars beside
Skyline Drive, Trahearne sniffed the air, muttered
party, and stopped whining.
"Maybe you should stay in the car," I suggested.
"Nonsense," he said as he tugged a fresh quart of
Turkey from under his seat. "If my famous writer act
doesn't work, lad, I'll show them my invitation," he
added, waving the whiskey. "I'm always welcome at
parties," he said as he lurched out of the car.
Of course the old bastard was right. The bearded
young man who answered the doorbell had met Trahearne some years before at a poetry reading in Seattle, though Traheame didn't remember him, and
he welcomed us into his house, introducing Trahearne
to his guests as if he had been the guest of honor all
along. Within minutes, he had arranged glasses and ice
and Peggy Bain sitting across a picnic table. Traheame
shooed the host and his fans away, sat down beside
Peggy Bain, and flopped a heavy arm over her shoulder
as he called her honey. She was a genial lady with a face
as round as a full moon looming above her thick wool
poncho. When Trahearne explained what we wanted,
she glanced at him, then me, then broke out in a fit of
stoned laughter so fierce that she had to remove her
rimless glasses and set them among the dirty plates on
the table.
"You've got to be kidding," she said over and over
again, only stopping to giggle. Then she lowered the
pitch of her glee, rubbed the tears out of her eyes, and
said, "Man, I haven't seen her since high school. " She
paused long enough to shake a hash pipe out of her
sleeve and light it, then offered it to Trahearne. He
took a greedy hit, then held his breath and muttered
dynamite dope! like some kid. When she offered it to
me, I shook my head, trying to stay straight for a few
minutes longer. "I ran into her father down in Bakers-
90
field a few years ago, and he said Betty Sue had been
living in a commune up in Oregon, but she had left."
"Remember the name of it?" I said.
"Man, who can remember those names," she said.
"Sunflower or Sunshine Starbright Dreaming or Sunfun or Sun-kinda-pretentious-hippie-shit." After she stopped chuckling at her own joke, she added. "Whatever its name was, it was somewhere outside of Grants Pass, I think."
"When did you talk to her father?" I asked, and
Trahearne muttered yeah as he fondled her square
shoulder through the rough wool.
Peggy's face stiffened and she slipped her glasses
back on, sighed and lifted her hands. I thought I was
about to get a long question about who the hell I was to
ask about Betty Sue, but she turned to Trahearne,
saying, "Hey, man, I ain't into starfucking, okay? See
that lady over by the back door? The one with the scarf
around her head and all that heavy metal hanging off
her neck? That's where your action is, man, okay?"
Then she lifted his large hand off her shoulder by the
fingers, dangling it as if it were a dead crab, and
dropped it in his lap .
"Excuse me," he muttered without a trace of sincerity, looking at his lap and peeking toward the back door at the same time.
"Don't be bummed out, man," Peggy said.
"No sweat," he said, then slid off the bench and
limped toward the house.
"What's wrong with him?" she asked.
"Artistic temperament," I said. "He thinks famous
writers are supposed to get fucked a lot."
"Not that, dummy," she said. "What's wrong with
his leg?"
"Old war wound," I said.
"Which one?"
"Pick one," I said, "they're all the same." I had been
91
trained in the right radical responses by a crew-cut first
lieutenant with a text on radical responses.
"Right on, man," she answered on cue.
"But back to Betty Sue," I said. "How long ago did
you talk to her father?"
"At least six years ago," she said. "I know because I
was still married to that redneck asshole from Santa
Rosa. We were down in Bakersfield on some kind of
United Farmworkers blast, and I saw Betty Sue's
daddy's name in the paper. He was playing at a place
called the Kicker, which I assumed was short for
Shitkicker, so a bunch of us got high and went out to
test the rednecks. Of course, we took two of the biggest
hippies in the world, two logger kids from up around
Weed. We wanted to look back to see how the other
half lives."
"How were they doing?"
"Just like you'd expect, man, living high, wide, and
handsome in Bakersfield," she answered, grinning.
"But old man Flowers, he was one cool dude."
"How's that?"
"Singing in the band, running the bar, and dealing
nose candy like a bandit," she said.
"Cocaine?"
"Nothing else makes you feel so good," she said. "At
first we thought he was bragging to impress the
hippies-you know how straight people do-talking
about selling coke to all the big names playing around
Bakersfield, but after the second set, he took us back to
his office, and we did a ton and bought five grams.
Good stuff and fairly cheap."
"And you talked about Betty Sue," I said, trying to
bring her back from her cocaine memories. And mine
too.
"Right. I asked if he'd heard from her, and he said
she'd called once, a year, maybe two years before,
asking for money to split from the commune scene.
92
Probably one of your typical fascist hippie scenes, you
know, man."
"But you don't remember the name?"
"Like I said, man, Sun-something," she said, then
paused to glance up at me. "You looking for her
because she's in trouble?"
"No, not that," I said, then realized that after the
film I didn't know why I was looking for Betty Sue
anymore. "I stumbled into her mother, and she hired
me to look around for a few days," I said.
"Sorry, but I can't help."
"That's okay," I said, "she's been gone too long
anyway."
"Just barely long enough," Peggy whispered, looking
down, all the stoned laughter gone now.
Behind her, the clouds surrendered their last crimson
streaks to a soft, foggy gray. A single tall evergreen
tilted against the falling sky. Behind me, the party
began to rumble like thunder. Peggy relit the hash pipe,
and this time I accepted it from her. We shared the
smoke as the evening winds rose off the cold sea, rose
up the wooded ridges, and herded the party inside,
people muttering thin complaints like little children
called from play to the fuzzy dreams of their early beds.
The plate-glass windows along the back of the house
reflected the last vestiges of the sunset, and beyond,
like a double exposure, the party trundled silently
onward, mouths opening, wounds without sound,
gestures without meaning. Beside a doorway against
the opposite wall, Traheame stared sadly at the sunset.
"What else can I tell you, man?" Peggy asked when
the pipe had gone out.
"I don't know," I said, then moved around the table
to sit beside her, close but not too close, my fingers
locked behind my head as I leaned against the littered
table. "I just don't know," I said as I tried to see the
ocean swells and the evening fog below the wide and
93
empty sky being overcome by a nascent darkness.
"Maybe you could just tell me about her," I said. "All
about her."
"That's too much," she said.
"Just barely enough."
"Like what?"
"Oh, I don't know," I said. "Tell me what she looked
like in the sixth grade with pigtails and elbows and
knees, or tell me-"
''I'll be damned," she interrupted. "I'll just be
damned."