The Letter (31 page)

A few minutes later the train began to move.

She was going home…to him…where she belonged.

*****

By midday the heat was unbearable on the train. Flustered passengers fanned themselves for relief and children cried. The only balm was a hot breeze blowing through the open windows. Victoria was so hot that she wasn’t even sweating any more. Instead, her body just felt hot and dry.

A kind, old man sitting across from her offered her some water from a canteen. She had smiled at him gratefully and wearily and accepted it.

Certain now that the baby was going to come very soon, Victoria silently prayed that the child would wait. Because she had been too stubborn to go to William sooner, she risked losing the baby and dying herself.

Closing her eyes, Victoria fell into an uncomfortable sleep, hoping the journey would go by faster if she simply slept through it.

The train stopped in several cities and was delayed. Meanwhile, the baby had dropped lower. There was a pressure in her abdomen that hadn’t been there before. Were it not for the old man and his canteen, she was certain she would have died from thirst. He frequently glanced at her with a worried frown, but said nothing.

He also knew her child was coming soon.

With each long and tedious mile the train ambled on her fear and weariness grew.

When she finally arrived in San Francisco she was on the brink of delirium. The old man who had been a silent, constant friend, assisted her from the train.

“
Don’t worry about me now, I am home,” she said smiling weakly. He stared hard at her with kind, brown eyes, framed with creases in his face that told their own stories of hardship, then nodded and walked away.

Victoria stood for a moment and looked around the busy train station as memories washed over her. The cool fog surrounded her like a familiar friend.

In her right mind she would never have come back. But she needed William now. She wanted to see his face — to hear his voice. Oh God, how she loved him. Just to see him again would be enough. And he would help her, she was sure of it.

Still, she was so tired, afraid and weak…her normal spirit had deserted her.

She hired a coach to drive her, which took up every last penny she had. It was late evening, so she knew William would be home from work. Yes, Faith would be there too, but she simply didn’t give a damn.

“
Take me to the home of William Worthington,” she requested, her breathing labored. There was no doubt now that the baby was coming. The heaviness had built and her world was spinning.

She became less and less aware of her surroundings as she road. By the time they reached William’s home, she was fading into unconsciousness. But she was almost there now. Just a little bit further. Weariness washed over her in a giant wave.

The coach stopped and the driver helped her from the carriage and up the steps.

“
Are you sure you are supposed to be here, miss?” the driver asked, looking around uneasily as they approached the door, no doubt worrying about the consequences to himself.

She didn’t look like someone who belonged here. She was very pregnant and her clothes were wrinkled and dirty. Her hat had long since been removed and he didn’t even know where it was. Her hair was falling down. But she was here and that was all that mattered.

“
Yes, please, knock on the door for me.” Her voice was shallow and breathless.

The man eagerly knocked on the door for her, anxious to get her off of his hands. He was supporting her because she could no longer stand by herself.

The door swung open revealing Carter.

“
Dear Gracious!” she heard him say in his familiar Scottish burr. She smiled faintly, too exhausted to laugh at Carter’s shocked expression.

Then, an instant later William stood in the doorway — the light behind him like a halo. She gazed into those glowing silver eyes that she had dreamed about for all these long months. Only now those eyes were sad and drawn.

“
William, I . . . I just can’t run any more. I am giving up . . . I will do whatever you want . . . be whatever you want . . . I am just so tired of . . . running.” Then the world faded to blackness. Home again, her mind and body gave into the clawing fatigue.

“
Dear God,” William rushed to her just as she collapsed, shock and joy crashing through him. Relief followed and fear came behind. He sent up a silent prayer of thanks. He had believed she was lost to him forever.

Her small body was rounded in the middle to a proportion that astounded him. She was very pregnant. His heart pounded in his chest. Gathering her up, he carried her into the house and up the steps. The household instantly turned chaotic as his staff scrambled to see what was going on and then to assist.

“
Get me the doctor,” William commanded to no one in particular as he took the stairs as quickly and carefully as he could.

Octopus had been unable to find her, no matter how much he raised the reward. He had frantically searched for her for months and months.

He had gone to Fort Worth to find Mandy gone and the store closed. His feverish search continued until his investigators turned up with her belongings. Then he had lived out hell believing she had probably been killed. He had long since ended his engagement with Faith and moved through his days like a dead man himself.

But here she was alive! And she had come back. Thank God. It was a miracle. Tears ran unbidden down his face.

Carrying her to his bedroom, he laid her gently on his massive bed. With fingers that trembled, he touched her face. She was beautiful and so fragile. God, she had been running from him in this condition. Pain tore through him like an unsharpened knife.

He would never be worthy of her. She would probably never have him…but he would offer her the world for the taking and spend the rest of his days making up for the pain he had caused her.

With hands that trembled, he gently turned her on her side and unbuttoned the tattered, dusty dress.

Happiness, elation, fear, and love washed over him.

How could he have thought to live without her? He needed her. She was everything to him. Like a fool he had let her slip away, and now, he didn’t know if she would ever be his.

The dress wasn’t coming off, he realized as he tried to ease it up over her swollen middle.

Dear God she was having a baby, his baby. The thought was so overwhelmingly beautiful. But Worthington was going to be born a bastard? Now that just wouldn’t do.

Thoughts raced through his mind.

He lifted her and tore the gown down the back and then he gently repositioned her on her back and pulled the gown away. A soft pained moan escaped her lips.

Please let her be all right. Please
.

Pulling the blanket over her, he tucked it around her shoulders with shaking hands. He fought for calm, but had little control over his emotions.

“
Victoria?” he said softly to her as he brushed his hand across her flushed cheek.

“
Victoria?” he repeated, putting his hand over her forehead to find her skin was hot under his fingers.

Water — she needed water.

Going over to the basin, he poured a cup of water and took it back over to the bed.

“
Victoria?” He sat back down on the bed, put his hand under her lifting her up, putting the cup to her lips. Her eyes opened slightly and her lips parted to allow some of the liquid to pass through.

He let a moment pass then he gave her a little more. When the cup was empty, he gently laid her back on the bed.

Where was that damned doctor anyway?

She moaned and fear shot through him again.

Fifteen endless minutes later the doctor arrived. William refused leave Victoria during the exam. Instead he sat at the head of the bed talking to her whenever she made a sound.

It didn’t take long for the old family doctor to assess the situation.

“
She is having twins,” he announced, his gray bushy eyebrows drawn together in a frown.

Stunned, William stared at the doctor.

“
My God,” William dropped his head into his hands. “When?” His throat was closing.

“
Any time now, she is well into her ninth month from the looks of things, and the babies have dropped. The heartbeats are strong, but it is her I am worried about. She might not last through the birth. Having two babies is very, very difficult, let alone having them in the condition she is in.”

William could hear the disapproval and questions in the old man’s voice.

But William wasn’t going to explain.

“
What needs to be done?” William asked fear like none he had ever known, almost sending him to a panic.

He would not let her go. He
could
not let her go.

“
I will stay, she needs care, and when she goes into hard labor I will do the best I can,” the doctor said.

The words “but it may not be enough,” hung silently between them.

Victoria slept most of the day. From time to time William would give her water under the guidance of the doctor. He had never been so afraid in his life and he refused to leave her, even to eat.

By the next day she seemed stronger, but she never became coherent. When she opened her eyes, it was only in a half sleep.

The doctor constantly checked the heartbeats of the babies. Victoria had suffered from lack of water, and the doctor was concerned that it would affect the children.

In the early afternoon of the second day, Eunice Worthington showed up. She had heard the news about Victoria and had come rushing over to assess the situation and figure a way to overt disaster.

“
William!” Eunice cried as she breezed into the room.

“
What has happened? Where did she go? . . . . oh my gracious!” Seeing the rounded body of the young woman cut a clear picture for the grand Eunice Worthington.

“
She is pregnant!” Eunice’s mouth dropped.

“
You are very observant, Mother,” William said, his eyes never leaving Victoria’s face. “Please be a little bit quieter if that is possible.”

“
You must get rid of her, you simply must!” Eunice said in a shrill voice. “She is carrying a baby out of wedlock ... she will cause a scandal if she stays here!”

“
She is carrying my children, Mother. I don’t give a damn about a scandal!”

“
Children? You mean there is more than one?”

“
Twins, Mother.” Pride dominated his voice.

“
And you’re happy about it,” his mother frowned in distaste. “She is nothing but a low born . . .”

“
Mother, you will never say another unkind word about Victoria or my children. She will be my wife, if she is foolish enough to have me.” He looked tenderly at Victoria.

“
Have you gone completely mad?” Eunice turned away and paced the room, her taffeta dress crinkling in agitation as she walked.

“
Have you forgotten your duty? You don’t have to marry her because of the babies. Plenty of men of our class have a child or two that they support outside the marriage.”

William looked up, his gray eyes fixing his mother in place.

“
No child of mine will be born without a name,” he stated flatly. “But that isn’t the most important reason I am going to marry her. I love her, I always have. I would marry her no matter whom or what she was.” His gaze shifted lovingly over Victoria.

“
So if you are finished, I would appreciate it if you would leave. She needs rest, and I hardly think all of your shrieking is good for her.” There was finality in his tone that Eunice knew she could not overcome.

“
Please reconsider, what about Faith? I had so hoped . . .”

“
Leave,” William said then, his voice firm.

Stomping her foot, Eunice gave the girl on the bed one last glare and turned and huffed her way out of the room.

She would get over it. She always did, William thought. And if she didn’t, too bad.

The doctor, who had discreetly disappeared when his mother had arrived, quietly re-entered the room again.

And the vigil continued.

Early into the next morning, Victoria went into labor.

Where she had lain so quietly and peacefully, suddenly she was crying out and thrashing in pain. William thought he would go mad with worry.

None of his soothing words and gentle hands seemed to help.

In his life he had never considered what giving birth must be like. His life never had room for such thoughts until now.

Suddenly the idea of two beings making their way into the world through such a narrow passage seemed a too perfectly impossible and a horribly painful prospect to consider. He would most certainly have more patience with his own mother after living this experience.

Every scream, every whimper, every contraction ripped through him.

There was so much blood. She was going to die, he just knew it.

Oh God, he had done this to her. In his selfish desire to keep her. If she lived he would never touch her again.
Never.