The Lightning-Struck Heart (63 page)

“Because then his full name would be Wassa Matta.”

Ryan snorted loudly and covered it up with a very fake cough.

Gary knocked me off the chair. “You are not allowed to make jokes anymore.”

“Shhh,” Griselda insisted.

“Sorry, Griselda,” Gary said. And then, “Hey, Sam?”

“What?” I said as I picked myself up off the floor.

“Do you know what I find fascinating?”

“What?”

“How knights apparently can read books upside down.”

“Oh, mothercracker,” Ryan said and then he fled the room.

“I taught him that curse,” I said sadly.

“Shhh!” Griselda shouted at us.

“Oh calm the fuck down, Griselda,” Gary snapped. “We’re the only ones here, you ancient she-beast. You need to check yourself before you wreck yourself.”

Griselda kicked us out of the War Room. I didn’t blame her.

“N
O
, T
IGGY
,”
I said. “There were, like, two verses
before
he started singing about cheesy dicks and candlesticks.”

Tiggy glared at me as we sat in the garden, sunning ourselves. There was the hustle and bustle of the castle around us as wedding preparations went on and on, but we didn’t give a shit about that. Gary had decreed that Tiggy and I were so pale that we were haunting his dreams and forced us outside to get some sun.

“Dicks and sticks,” Tiggy insisted. “Every line was dicks and sticks.”

“I think you’re misremembering, my friend.”

“You dismembered,” he grumbled.

“Not the same thing. One is forgetting. The other is getting your head chopped off.”

“No,” he said. “I use correct word.”

I gasped and covered my heart. “Well I
never
. Are you
threatening
me, Tiggy?”

“Yes,” Tiggy said, sounding smug. “Dicks and sticks.”

“Fine. Dicks and sticks.”

“And Knight Delicious Face.”

“And Knight Del—wait, what?” I turned my head toward him, but he was propped up on his elbows, looking toward the castle. I followed his gaze and sure enough, there he was.

“I’ve never had a stalker before,” I told Tiggy.

“I stalk you,” Tiggy said.

“Erm. I don’t think you do.”

“Stalking is following. I follow you everywhere. I stalk you. I stalk you so hard.”

“Tiggy, that’s not—you know what? I am not even going to argue with you on that. You can stalk me all you want. In fact, I am honored to have you as my stalker.”

Tiggy preened. “Pretty Sam. I’ll hide in bushes and stare at you.”

“Aww. You do that, buddy.”

“Knight Delicious Face isn’t subtle.”

“You can’t be called Knight Delicious Face and be subtle at the same time. It doesn’t work that way.” And really, he wasn’t being subtle at all. I was rather embarrassed for him, if I was being honest. And annoyed. And angry. And slightly turned-on, though I was loath to admit it.

Because he was standing at the other side of the garden, pretending to be interested in whatever the florists were saying to him (pointing out different arrangements of flowers for the wedding, hired because my mother had flat out refused to participate—she’s slightly vindictive, my mom is), but no one, and I mean
no one
, could miss the glances he kept shooting in our direction. It was getting to the point the florists were getting visibly annoyed with him because he obviously wasn’t paying attention to a single word they were saying.

He looked over at us again as one of the florists started in again on the power of petunias.

Tiggy and I waved sarcastically because we were awesome.

“What a dick,” I muttered.

“You love him,” Tiggy said.

“No,” I said. “I love only you.”

“And Gary.”

“And Gary.”

“And Mom and Dad.”

“Yes, and them.”

“And Morgan.”

“Sure. Lots.”

“And the King.”

“Yes, can’t forget him.”

“And Pete.”

“Pete! My castle guardian.”

“And Kevin.”

“Stretching, just a bit.”

“And Randall.”

“That’s not really true.”

“You love Ryan,” Tiggy said seriously.

“Motherfucker,” I sighed.

“Dicks and sticks,” Tiggy said.

“My whole life is dicks and sticks,” I said.

Ryan looked at us again.

We waved.

Tiggy called out, “Knight Delicious Face. Find your balls yet?”

I choked.

The florists looked slightly scandalized.

Ryan made fumbling excuses and fled.

“Not yet,” Tiggy said.

And then we made up many, many verses of “Cheesy Dicks and Candlesticks.”

“S
O
,
CHAMP
,”
Kevin said, tossing the heavy twine ball back at me. “You have any crushes on anybody at school?”

“I haven’t been in school for years,” I said. “Since long before I met you.”

He shrugged, the sun starting to set behind him. “I know it’s hard, buddy. Having a new dad.”

“What the fuck.”

“I just want what’s best for you and Gary. Your mom works hard, you know.”

“First, Gary doesn’t work hard. At
anything
. Second, he is not my
mom
.”

Kevin nodded and caught the ball in his claws as I chucked it back at him. “All teenagers think the same thing about their parents.”

“I’m
twenty
! Why are we even out here!”

“Bonding,” Kevin said. “You said that we needed bonding.” Then he leered at me, his lip curling, tongue snaking out between his fangs. “Or perhaps you meant bondage? Is that what you meant, pretty? You need me to tie you up and choke you on my dick? Make you scream as I twist your little nipples? Make you—”

“That’s not what I meant at all.”

The leer disappeared. “That’s what I thought, sport. So, any boys or girls you want to get fresh with?”

“Get fresh with,” I repeated.

“You know. Take to the dance, or whatever.”

“The dance.”

“Sock hop? I don’t know what you kids call it these days.”

“I think that being with Gary has made you both actually mentally disabled. Like your magic broke both of your brains the moment you fellated him.”

“So much fellating,” Kevin agreed. “Oh look, company.”

I looked over my shoulder and sure enough, a small contingent of knights were coming out onto the sparring fields, even though I was absolutely
positive
there was no need for them to be here. Of course, Ryan was in the lead. Pete stood toward the rear, a look of amused exasperation on his face.

“Sam,” he said, once they passed through the gates. The others headed toward the weapons shed, but Pete dragged behind them. Ryan almost was able to make it all the way to the shed without looking at me but failed miserably at the last minute.

“Pete,” I said, ignoring Ryan completely. “Late training?”

He rolled his eyes. “It appears our illustrious Knight Commander felt we’d been slacking off recently.”

“Is that so.”

“Quite. And apparently, it couldn’t wait until tomorrow, and we had to go to the fields right away. Been here long?”

“An hour or so.”

“Funny, that,” Pete said. “Right around the time the Knight Commander came up with this idea.”

I rolled my eyes. “Go do knight things.”

“Nah,” Pete said with an easy shrug. “Getting too old for this shit. I’ll just observe.” He looked over at the dragon. “Kevin. Nice evening for a game of catch.”

Kevin nodded sagely. “It is, Pete. Always a nice evening when I get to be with my boy.”

“So that’s still a thing, huh?” Pete asked me.

“No,” I said crossly. “It is not a
thing
. It was never a
thing
.”

“Forgive him,” Kevin said, frowning at me. “He’s a bit cranky tonight. I think he likes this boy from school, but I can’t get a name out of him.”

Ryan was apparently listening into the conversation like a creep, because he dropped a heavy long sword on his foot.

Everyone stared at him as he grimaced. “It slipped,” he said.

“Oh boy,” Pete said. “This just gets sadder and sadder.”

“And I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” I said.

“Ah,” Pete said. “We’re at avoidance.”

I grinned at him. “There’s nothing to avoid because there’s nothing there.”

Pete sighed and shook his head fondly. “So what boy does he have a crush on, then?” he called out quite loudly to Kevin.

Ryan tensed.

“Don’t know,” Kevin said, tossing me the ball again. “But you can sure as shit bet I’m going to meet him before he takes Sam out. Instill the fear of the gods in him, I will.”

“Your life is so weird,” Pete said to me.

“Right?” I said.

“Hey, Sam,” one of the knights called out. He was handsome in a rugged sort of way, all charm and a wicked glint to his eyes. I thought his name was Nat or Nate. “You ain’t seein’ anyone, right?”

“Right.”

“I could take you out,” he said, looking me up and down. “Show you a good time.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You, me. Candlelight. See where it goes.”

“I think I have a good idea of where it might go,” I said. “You just licked your lips. Lasciviously.”

“Think of the other things I could lasciviously lick—”

“Get in line,” Ryan snarled at him.

Nat or Nate winked at me and followed orders.

The knights started going through their paces. Ryan called to Pete, but Pete rolled his eyes and waved him off. “I’m retiring in four months,” he said. “I don’t have time to be a part of your weird flirting.”

Ryan sputtered and then fled to the other side of the sparring fields, his knights following and laughing behind his back.

“They think he’s an idiot,” Pete said as he watched them go.

“The knights? Why?”

Pete shrugged. “For what he did to you. They think he made the biggest mistake of his life and give him shit for it. Nobody fucks with Sam of Wilds.”

I gaped at him as he walked away, whistling a jaunty tune.

T
HE
WEEK
before the wedding, I was in the gardens with my mother, helping her weed and water her flowers. It was good work, hands dirty and smelling of earth, muscles in my back and arms burning. We were back in the secret parts of the garden, the area where few ever ventured. Ryan and I had been here once, speaking of wishes and stars.

“
Mamia
loved her flowers,” my mother said, tending to the crocus and the tulips. “She could grow them year-round, even in the snows. She kept a greenhouse, the first of its kind. She built it herself, refusing help from the men and women. She said it was hers, and as the
rom baro
of our clan, she would lead by example. She understood helping others, but also showing that one could stand on his or her own feet.”

“I’ll meet her one day,” I said.

She smiled at me. “Of course you will. You are a part of her just as much as I am. I may not be allowed back, but you will be.”

“Do you regret it? Choosing Dad over your
roma
.” Because when all else was stripped away, that is what had happened. Mom had fallen in love outside of her
roma
—her clan—which was expressly forbidden by gypsy law. She’d been outcast, shunned by her people when her choice had been made clear. She had chosen to follow my father instead of her own people. But my mother was always clear in the fact that there was never animosity after she left, and that her mother had held her tight and whispered in her ear how proud she was of her daughter, how wonderful she thought she was, how sad she was to see her go.

“No,” she said simply. “Not ever.”

“How did you know it was the right thing to do?”

She sat back on her knees, a smidge of dirt on the tip of her nose, a light sheen of sweat on her forehead. I thought she’d never looked more beautiful than she did at that moment.

She said, “I didn’t.”

“What?” Because
what
?

“I didn’t know it was the right thing to do.”

“But. You and Dad always….” I trailed off because I didn’t know how to finish. I always thought that what had existed between the two of them was sure and strong, even from the beginning. To find out there was doubt really threw me.

“I was young,” she said, smiling quietly. “So sure I knew more than
mamia
as to the ways of my heart. And I knew that I’d already given my heart away to your father. That was never in question. From the moment I laid eyes on him, I was his and he was mine.”

“But?”

She shrugged. “But you can never be sure, Sam. No matter how hard you wish something to be so, there’s always going to be risk involved. I knew that if I followed him, I would be cast out from the
roma
. I would have the man I loved. I would lose my family. Or, I could stay with the
roma
and never see Joshua again. The choice was easy for me. Even if I didn’t know it was the right one at the time.”

“Now?” I asked.

She looked down at her flowers, fingers grazing along the petals. “Now,” she said. “Now I know it was the right choice. Hindsight can be a wonderful gift, Sam. Or a terrible curse.”

“I don’t know what to do,” I admitted. “I just…. Mom. I don’t know what to do.”

She reached out and took my hand in hers. She said, “Sam, I—”

I never got to hear what she would have said then, because we were interrupted as Ryan pushed through the low-hanging trees and stumbled into the rear garden. He looked harried, eyes wide, hands shaking. He saw my mother and me and took a step backward. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t know anyone would be here. I’m sorry. I’ll just….” He turned, shoulders stiff, back toward the entrance.

“Ryan,” my mother said and he stopped. Took a great breath. And then another. And then another.

She asked, “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” he said, though it wasn’t believable at all.