The Look of Love (3 page)

“Something like
that. But I only remember everything if I understand it.”

“I wish I was
that clever.”

“It’s not
clever, it’s just a knack.” Victoria slid the file back towards
Louise and asked, “What’s that mean?”

They spent the
next two hours together like that. Victoria writing away and
occasionally asking questions, and Louise answering them as best
she could. Most of the time they sat in silence and Louise just
watched Victoria. She watched the way Victoria seemed to
concentrate so hard as she was writing, and the way she brushed her
hair out of the way every so often, or at the way she swung her
feet as she sat cross-legged, leaning on the table. Louise liked
watching Victoria.

Then, in the
middle of scribbling away, Victoria suddenly stopped, stood up, and
leaned across Louise to close the window. “It’s freezing in here,”
she muttered.

For a brief,
few seconds, Victoria was very close, and as she stretched up to
reach the catch on the window, her sweat-shirt rode up, and Louise
found herself staring at her stomach. The sweet smell she had
detected earlier was much stronger, and as Victoria sat down again,
Louise couldn’t help asking, “What’s that smell?”

“Ice-cream
sundae sort of smell?” Victoria suggested.

Louise
nodded.

Victoria made a
face. “I knew it wouldn’t wash out! Chrissy sprayed me with one of
those vanilla body sprays in Boots yesterday. Now I stink like a
kiddie’s sweet shop! I could have bloody killed her!”

“It’s probably
still on your clothes,” Louise said, and reached out to hesitantly
pull on Victoria’s sweat-shirt. “Anyway, I like vanilla,” she
added.

“It just makes
me think of eating.” Victoria suddenly stood up again. “That
reminds me,” she said as she quickly climbed on to her chair and
stared across the Library. She began to wobble dangerously as she
tried to stand on the tips of her toes on the chair, and Louise
quickly stood up and grabbed her around the waist.

“Careful!”
Louise exclaimed in a genuinely worried tone. “What are you
doing?”

“Just checking
the time!” Victoria said with a cheeky grin as she climbed down
from the chair. “It’s time for lunch!”

Louise realised
that Victoria had been looking at the clock on the far wall. She
glanced at her watch. They had a lecture in the afternoon, and it
was already after one. Yes, it was time for lunch. “You could have
asked me, you know,” she said pointing at her watch. “It would have
been a lot safer.”

“Ah! But not as
much fun! Come on! I’ll buy you a burger!”

Victoria smiled
at Louise again as she began to stuff her things back into her
rucksack. Louise smiled back and began to pack her own books and
files away. She was becoming very fond of that smile. It was the
way Victoria pursed her lips and stared at you, her eyes and whole
face presenting such a cheeky and mischievous expression. Yes, it
was very endearing, that smile, and it made Louise’s heart
ache.

McDonald’s was
only a short walk down Oxford Street, and even though Louise was
sure that they would be late for the afternoon lecture, she went
without hesitation. Victoria chatted all the way, mainly because
Louise kept asking her leading questions.

“How long have
you known Chrissy and Jo, then?”

“Oh, I’ve known
Jo since the second year at school,” Victoria replied. “But me and
Chrissy grew up together; we’ve always been close friends. I got to
know Angie a bit later. We were all quite close at school, but it
was always Chrissy who would get me out of trouble whenever I
messed up.”

“Are you always
getting into trouble?”

“Yeah!”
Victoria smiled mischievously. “It’s another knack I’ve got!”

By the time
they reached McDonald’s, Louise had found out that Victoria was
three months younger than her, that her mother still lived in
Stretford where Victoria was born, that her father was dead, and
that she hadn’t been home for eight months.

“Why ever not?”
Louise asked in surprise.

“We don’t get
on any more.” Victoria’s expression was sullen as she answered,
very much like when Louise had first seen her. Louise was wise
enough to recognise the warning, and decided not to press her on
the subject any further.

She was
thinking of something else to talk about when she saw Victoria’s
eyes narrow. She seemed to be staring at someone sitting down at
one of the tables. But before Louise could turn to look, Victoria
thrust her rucksack into her arms and said, “I’ll be back in a
minute,” and walked away.

Louise watched
as Victoria walked straight towards a scruffy looking young man
sitting at a table with his arm around a pretty young woman who was
drinking a milkshake. By the way the young woman was smartly
dressed; she probably worked in one of the nearby offices. The
young man saw Victoria as she approached. He took his arm from the
woman’s shoulder and sat back, smiling arrogantly.

“Hey, Tori!” he
said. “Where’ve you been, girl?”

Victoria didn’t
say a word; she just snatched the milkshake from the surprised
woman, dumped its contents over her head, and then grabbed her by
the hair, pulling her screaming over the table.

In a few
seconds, bedlam erupted in the middle of McDonald’s as the staff
ran to break up the fight. Louise stared in shock as fries and
burgers flew in all directions as Victoria tried to murder the
other woman, and the two of them rolled across the table and then
fell on to the floor, screaming and pulling at one another’s hair.
People jumped out of the way to avoid the flailing arms and feet.
Only the scruffy young man seemed unimpressed. He just sat back
with that arrogant smile on his face, holding up his hands as if to
say, “It’s nothing to do with me.”

Eventually the
two women were separated, Victoria still kicking at her victim as
she was dragged to the door and thrown out. A senior member of the
staff tried to calm the other woman down. She was in a complete
mess. Her hair was frizzed in all directions, her clothes were torn
and pulled all out of place, her tights were laddered, she’d lost a
shoe, and she was covered in milkshake and tomato stained
fries.

“I want the
police!” she cried. “That cow tried to kill me!”

Louise didn’t
wait any longer. Like the scruffy young man, she quickly left.

Louise found
Victoria and the scruffy young man together by the side of
Churchgate House. He was laughing while Victoria was still panting
and out of breath from her brawl.

“Tori! Baby!
What an entrance! It couldn’t have been better!” He kept trying to
put his arms around her, but Victoria kept pushing him away.

“Piss off!” she
told him. “You did that on purpose!”

“Not me, baby!
Honestly, Tori! Can I help it if the babes find me attractive? Come
on. Let’s go back to your flat. You know I love it when you get
jealous!”

When she came
closer, Louise saw the scratches on Victoria’s face, and the way
her tee-shirt was now even more torn and dirty than before. “Are
you alright?” she asked, real concern in her voice.

Both Victoria
and the scruffy man turned to look at her, as if noticing her for
the first time. Victoria was the first to speak.

“Oh, Louise!
I’m sorry! I forgot about you!” she said in sudden embarrassment.
“We didn’t get anything to eat, and I bet we’re late, aren’t
we?”

She sounded so
upset that Louise would have forgiven her even if she had fed the
other woman through a mincing machine.

“We are a bit.
But it doesn’t matter.” Louise reached out to touch the scratches
on Victoria’s face, getting blood on her finger. “You better get
those seen to. And that woman you attacked was talking about
calling the police.”

Victoria
quickly wiped her face with her hands. “We better go,” she said,
and took her rucksack back from Louise. “Thanks, Louise. This is
Zach. He’s my boyfriend. Zach, this is Louise from Uni.”

“Hi, Louise!”
The arrogant smile had returned as Zach greeted her by pulling
gently on her hair, before putting his arm around her shoulder, and
leaning on her. “Hey, how about coming back to Victoria’s flat with
us? We can all get much better acquainted! How about it, babe?”

“No!” Louise
said far too firmly, shaking him off. “We’ve got to go back to the
University. We’ve got a lecture.”

“I can’t go
like this,” Victoria said, pulling a french-fry from her milkshake
stained hair. “You go without me. I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”
Victoria began to walk away with Zach.

“But what
should I tell the lecturer?” Louise called after them.

“Tell Chrissy
what happened. She’ll know what to say,” Victoria called back. “Now
go on, or you’ll be even later.”

Louise could
only watch disappointedly as Victoria walked away with Zach. He
glanced back with that smile again, putting his arm around
Victoria’s waist. Then his hand slipped down into her back pocket,
squeezing her buttock.

Zach was just
the kind of man that made Louise feel glad that she was a lesbian.
She instinctively hated him.

“Get your hair
cut!”

“Contrary to
your opinion, having a short haircut and wearing short trousers is
not going to solve my love life.”

“Works for
me!”

Louise shook
her head in despair. “I’m not you, Dayna.”

Louise had gone
to visit Dayna after she had finished for the day at University.
They were sitting on some cushions on the floor in the lounge of
Dayna’s flat, drinking coffee and talking. Dayna shared the flat
with her partner, Sam. Dayna was twenty, slightly shorter than
Louise, with short cropped black hair and blue eyes. She wore a
shirt and waistcoat and overly long, baggy shorts. She worked in a
bar on Canal Street in the evenings, which was where Louise had
first met her. Louise had been friends with Sam and Dayna ever
since.

As usual, the
conversation had got round to sex. Sex was Dayna’s favourite topic,
second only to Louise’s sex life.

Like Rosanna,
Dayna was far too good at wheedling secrets out of Louise. Either
that, or Louise was just hopeless at keeping secrets. Whichever was
the case, it didn’t take long before they got to Victoria, and
Dayna had heard the whole gory story of what had happened that
afternoon in McDonalds.

At first, Dayna
had thought the whole escapade was a hoot.

“You should
have sold tickets!” she said. “I would have paid to see that!”

But after
Louise had explained her feelings for Victoria, Dayna wasn’t so
light-hearted.

“You’re wasting
your time,” Dayna said as she lit a cigarette. “She’s straight,
you’ll get nowhere.”

“I don’t know
that.”

“Yes you do.
You said she had a boyfriend.”

“Yes, but–”

“Lesbos don’t
have boyfriends!” Dayna insisted. “It’s a fantasy, Lu! You’d be
better off waiting for Becky to finish with Sal.”

Louise shook
her head in frustration. “Becky and Sal aren’t going to split up;
they’ve been together for years.”

“Not if I have
my way!”

Louise was
suddenly side-tracked by Dayna’s remark. “Are you still chasing
Sal?”

“Yeah!” Dayna
replied eagerly.

“But what about
Sam?”

“I won’t tell
her if you don’t!”

“You two-timing
bitch! You’re like a rabbit on steroids!”

“And you’re a
chicken on valium! Get your hair cut and come out with me and Sam!
Come on! You’ll love it, I promise you, you will!”

Dayna sounded
very encouraging, but Louise still wasn’t interested. “I am not
getting my hair cut!” she insisted. “And if I went out on the tiles
with you, I’d probably wake up in bed with you!”

Dayna smiled.
“Well, you are a babe!”

Louise was
reminded of Zach. “That’s what he called me and Victoria. Babes.
It’s very demeaning.”

“He’s a man.
Everything they say to women is demeaning!”

They both
laughed.

There was a
rattle at the door, and Sam came in. “Kick out whoever you’ve got
in our bed, I’m home!” she called out from the hallway.

Louise laughed
again.

Dayna smiled at
her, mouthed, “She knows me too well!” and then called out to Sam,
“It’s Lu, we’re both in the lounge, and we’re disappointingly
decent!”

Sam came in.
“Hiya, Lu!” she said. She had been shopping, and put down her bags
of groceries in the doorway. She was two years older than Dayna,
tall and very slim. She took off her coat revealing a woolly jumper
and jeans. Like Dayna, she had short cropped hair. As she went back
into the hall to hang her coat up, Dayna stood up and went to meet
her. She was about a foot shorter than Sam. They embraced and
kissed very affectionately.

Sam smiled at
Dayna. “So, have you been good today?”

“You’ll be
pleased to know that I haven’t slept with a single other
person.”

They both came
back into the lounge and Sam winked at Louise as she said to Dayna,
“All turned you down, did they?”

Dayna made a
face. “Rotter!”

They both
laughed and kissed again. Louise felt jealous just watching them.
For all her philandering ways, Dayna had been with Sam for nearly
two years. That was probably due more to Sam’s forgiving nature
than to Dayna’s failed attempts at fidelity. None-the-less, the two
of them were still together. Whatever they had, it worked.

Dayna helped
Sam to carry the shopping bags into the kitchen. Louise got up and
followed them. She leaned against the door, sipped her coffee, and
watched them as they began to unpack the bags and store everything
away. Sam glanced at her and smiled.

“How are you
getting on?”

“Alright,”
Louise replied.