Every one then every man and every woman have then their own feeling in loving, their own way of feeling in religion, their own way of laughing, of eating, of drinking, of going on living, of taking what comes to them, of looking for things to irritate them or content them, their own way of beginning and of ending.
Mr. Hersland then had his own way of being in him. The governesses had each one their own way of being in them. Each one had a certain effect on him.
It is very interesting that every one has in them their kind of stupid being. It is very important to know it in each one which part in them, which kind of feeling in them is connected with stupid being in them. There is then stupid being in every one. There is in every one their own way of living, of eating, of drinking, of beginning and ending, remembering and forgetting, of going on and stopping. There is then in every one their own way of responding to things, to any one that touches them, to everything in living. There is in every one repeating. There is in every one a different way of repeating in their beginning and in their middle living and in their ending. Sometime there will be a complete history of every one and of all the repeating in them.
Eating and sleeping then and drinking and being loving and working and waking and resting and doctoring and having religion and beginning and ending. Mr. Hersland was now in the beginning of his middle living. He was beginning then his habits of middle living. He was beginning then his regular country house living and governesses were then part of the regular living he had in him, with his eating and sleeping and talking and beginning. Habits were beginning in him. Repeating is always in every one, it settles in them in the beginning of their middle living to be a steady repetition with very little changing. There may be in them then much beginning and much ending, but it is steady repeating in them and the children with them have in them the pounding of the steady march of repeating the parents of them have in them. Mr. Hersland then was beginning to have in him his repeating of beginning middle living. He had then in him eating and sleeping and hygiene and much beginning and hearty laughing and impatient being and a kind of interest in some people near him and some brushing away of his wife from around him and his regular derangements in his stomach and in his dieting. He had in him then the beginning of his middle living.
Every one, then, as I was saying, have in them, always, repeating. Every one who does not die before then has in them the steady pound of repeating in the beginning of their middle living. It becomes then more and more part of them, their way, their way of drinking, their way of beginning and of ending, their way of talking, of laughing, of having impatient being in them, their way of being attracted by women and by men.
There was then the beginning of middle living now in Mr. Hersland. It was in him then already in the beginning of their living in Gossols and having the first governess for the children. For Mrs. Hersland it was not yet in beginning. It came to her later with the governess Madeleine Wyman.
A part then of middle living in Mr. Hersland was his way of educating his children; his daily habits then in his country living with his wife and his children and a governess to teach them. The ideas in him then about their education were his habits of beginning middle living. The attraction each governess had or had not for him, the impression she made or did not make on him was all part of his middle living. Later in the ending of his middle living it came to be a more sodden repeating. Now repeating was in him a varied vigorous pounding. This is now a description.
Mr. Hersland, as I said once when speaking of the kind of loving he had in him, Mr. Hersland had then in the beginning of his middle living, had his wife to content him. She was then a pleasant feeling in him, she was then a little of a joke to him, she had then still a little resisting for him, he then did not much brush her away from around him, he did not then forget about her existing, in his feeling, she was then still important to him. As I was saying, then in their younger living, still in the beginning of his middle living she gave him all the stimulation he needed to attract him, for his loving; he was not then yet full up with impatient feeling, he had then yet a pleasant feeling in living and her resisting was important enough to him to hold him. Later he needed more to fill him, in his latest living when he was shrunk away from the outside of him, when he had not enough beginning enough impatient feeling to fill him, he needed then another kind of woman. This will come out later in the later history of him.
At this time then in this beginning of his middle living he had in him a cheerful sense of being, he had enough contentment from his wife, he did not then need much stimulation. He had in him then some impatient feeling but this was not yet very strongly in him. It came to be in him then when he was going to be very soon ready for a new beginning. It was in him then when there was an end then of something or it was continuing too long to suit him, whether it was his own or some one else's talking, whether it was his own or some one else's doing, that never made any difference to him, it was the sense in him of a new beginning that gave to him impatient feeling.
In the beginning of his middle living then some women were attractive to him. It was not then much of a need in him. Mostly then it was a joke to him. Later he had more need in him. This will come out in the later history of him.
There are many ways then of having some feeling about people near one. This is different in different parts of the living in one. Now this is a history of the middle living of Mr. Hersland, of the beginning and middle of his middle living. Later there will be a history of the ending of his middle living and then of his later living, in the written history of his children.
There are many ways then that one has feeling for people near them. This is now a history of feeling in Mr. Hersland in the beginning of his middle living.
As I was saying he selected the two first governesses for his children, the first was his ideal of a governess for them then, a woman with governess training, a good musician and having a thorough understanding of french and German. She was his ideal then. When he told her what his ideals were for his children, she made an impression on him. Mostly, later, he never noticed her, she made no impression on him, sometimes later when she listened while he told her what he knew about education she made some impression but it was always a reflection, it was only when she was listening that she made an impression and that was only by virtue of her training, the listening of somebody so well-trained in education made an impression on him, it was her training it was never herself that made an impression on him. When she left the Herslands he had not any longer much interest in talking to her training, he was already then full up then with a new beginning.
He had then a feeling that he wanted a big strong healthy woman to be with his children. They could get enough education from public schools and reading, he had had that kind of education, it would be the best thing for them. He told the governess what he wanted she should do for the children, what his ideas were about them. She listened to him but her listening was not stimulating, but she made an impression, he liked well enough to notice her then and later when she was married to the baker, when she was larger then and a little grimy he still liked to see her, he would stop by at her shop where she was sitting attending to the custom and he would eat a cake there and ask her how she was getting on and he liked that much contact with her. Later there was a third governess Madeleine Wyman.
Mr. Hersland then in the beginning of his middle living wanted mildly a little attraction in women but mostly then it was not a need in him, his wife then was existent to him, he liked well enough a little looking at women who made on him then some impression. So he liked a little to be with the second governess when she was with them and later when she was married to the baker. She was a big blond woman. She made a mild impression on him. He liked to give her advice and talk about little things and later to eat a cake while she sat there sewing. This was the beginning of his middle living.
There was then in Mr. Hersland in the beginning of his middle living beginning to be very completely in him as repeating his way of eating, of thinking, of laughing, of talking, of beginning, of having impatient feeling, of being attracted by women. There was then in him beginning accented repeating that later would be louder and have less changing in repeating. Later what was now an attraction to him would be then a need in him, later there will be a history of him. Now there is enough history of him. Now there will be a history of Mrs. Hersland and the important feeling she had in her with the third governess Madeleine Wyman. Mr. Hersland had then in him now the beginning of his middle living repeating. This is clear now in him. Later there will be more description of this being in him as his children and his children's friends get to know it in him.
The kind of loving women and men have in them and the ways it comes out from them makes for them the bottom nature in them, gives to them their kind of thinking, makes the character they have all their living in them, makes them then their kind of women and men and there are always many millions made of each kind of them.
The kind of loving then women have in them and the ways it comes out from them makes for them the bottom nature in them, gives to them their kind of thinking, makes the character they have all their living in them, makes them their kind of women and there are always many millions made of each kind of them.
Some women have it in them to love others because they need them, because these somehow are important to them, because somehow these they have for loving belong to them, many of such of them subdue the ones they need for loving, they subdue them and they own them; some of them who have it to be of this kind of women have it in them so lightly in them this being in them as to be almost of no importance to those they have around them in their living, to have their children belong to them only as a part of them inside them, these are of the kind of them who always own their children who subdue those they need in loving but these of this kind of women have it to have this that is them very gently in them and Mrs. Hersland was of such a kind of them, these have it in them to be it so gently in them that it never comes out in them with some it comes out a very little in them, these then have it to be so timidly in them some so dimly in them, some so gently in them, some so slightly in them that their children are only a part of them as having been once in them, it is with such of them only in such a way that they can ever own them; some of such a kind of them have it all so peaceably inside them that they have not in them the feeling of being themselves inside them, it takes some one around them to need them to be owned by them to make such a kind of one own them, to make such of them feel it inside them that they are themselves inside them, to give to them anything of an important feeling. There are then this kind of women many of them are very dependent all through their living but a little in them is an independent feeling and this comes out in them when there is any one around them who makes them own them and with such a one they are important inside them any moment in their living. These are of the dependent independent kind of men and women. Mrs. Hersland had a very little such a feeling with her husband when she was first married to him, she had it in her when she was a little resisting to him; she never would have had much more in her if she had gone on living the life that was for her the natural way of being, she had it a little more in her feeling with the Shilling family in her hotel living, it came to be strongest in her in her living with a governess and a seamstress and servants in the house with her and, for her, poor people, around her, with always inside her country house feeling of right rich living, with nothing in her daily being of such a living, which was the natural way of living for her. She had it then in her to feel herself inside her and it was then strongest in her and came out in her with the governess Madeleine Wyman who was for her the one who in all her living was the one whom she had power over, not as part of her, as her children were to her, but as outside of her. She fought with the family of Madeleine Wyman for her, she had a feeling then of herself inside her.
There are then two kinds of women, those who have dependent independence in them, those who have in them independent dependence inside them; the first ones of them always somehow own the ones they need to love them, the second kind of them have it in them to love only those who need them, such of them have it in them to have power in them over others only when these others have begun already a little to love them, others loving them gives to such of them strength in domination. There are then these two ways of loving there are these two ways of being when women have loving in them as a bottom nature to them, there are then many kinds of mixing, there are many kinds of each kind of them, some women have it in them to have a bottom nature in them of one of these two kinds of loving and then this is mixed up in them with the other kind of loving as another nature in them but all this will come clear in the history of all kinds of women and some kinds of men as it will now be written of them.
In the Hersland family during the middle part of the family living when the children were beginning to have in them their individual living, when Mrs. Hersland was beginning to have strongest inside her her own important feeling, when Mr. Hersland was strongest in beginning and making his great fortune, during this middle living they had as governess with them Madeleine Wyman and this is now part of her history with them.
As I was saying some women have it in them to own those who love them, to subdue such then, these are of them who have dependent independent nature in them, they have resisting in them as their way of fighting. Some who have independent dependent nature in them and have attacking in them as their way of fighting, and have much strength in attacking have this way of subduing those they need for loving, this is another kind then of subduing from that in Madeleine Wyman or in Mrs. Hersland. Later there will be a history of all the kinds who have attacking subduing in them. Now there is a history of Mrs. Hersland and the moment she had in her with Madeleine Wyman as governess to her children and living with her, the time in her of the strongest being of herself inside her to her. This is now some of this history in her. This is now some of the history of Madeleine Wyman. This is now a history of the Wyman family and the struggle Mrs. Hersland made to keep Madeleine Wyman as governess in the house with her. This is the history of the nature in Mrs. Hersland and in Madeleine Wyman and in every member of the Wyman family. This then is to be now a long history of Madeleine Wyman. This is a history of the affection and the knowledge and the stupid being in her and the loving and the later living and the marrying of her and the death of her husband and her later living and her power of owning and subduing what she needed for loving and the nature in her and Mrs. Hersland's feeling for her and Mrs. Hersland's feeling inside her from the being with her and Mr. Hersland's feeling for her. Then later, in the history of the Hersland children, there will be more history of her. Now this is a fresh beginning. And now there will begin a long description of her.
