Mabel Linker was working for her living, she had commenced again having work to do in her room and in a small way had commenced again a business of dress-making though often she had to go out sewing. Mary Maxworthing, when she would have a bad feeling in her, came to Mabel Linker to have her take care of her.
As I was saying too, no one knew it about her what kind of feeling Mabel Linker had in her for Mary Maxworthing. Perhaps it will come to be clearer later. Anyhow she then took care of her, and it was not an easy matter. Mary had not even then anxious being in her, she did have very much then impatient being in her, it was very hard sometimes for any one to put up with her.
Every one has in them their own history inside them. In each one the history comes out of them in the repeating that is always in them. Mary Maxworthing had always in her some impatient being, sometimes it had in her more and sometimes less importance in her being, sometimes it had in her almost a different meaning from other times in her living. Mostly it was in her her stupid being.
This came to be very strongly in her in the trouble she had in having her baby. She did not have then in her really any anxious being, she had then in her very much impatient being and feeling.
Finally she did not have a living baby, after six months it passed out of her, it was her impatient being in her that made trouble for her, this is a history of what happened to her.
Repeating then is always coming out of every one, from the kind of being always in them. Almost always in the repeating in every one and in its coming out of them there is a little changing. In Mary Maxworthing it was always the same kind of impatient being, sometimes it was in her, impatient feeling, sometimes it was, interfering with every one around her and nagging and complaining, mostly it was not complaining, sometimes it was impatient being and stupid acting. Impatient being was almost always in her, stupid acting, it was not always in her as impatient feeling.
In her trouble with having the baby come out of her this was mixed up in her. Always there was then impatient being strongly in her, often there was stupid acting in her from the impatient being always in her, sometimes there was impatient feeling in her. This is now a history of these things in her. As I was saying she always had in her, impatient being. As I was saying impatient being was the stupid being in her. It was not always active in her, it was at this time often enough active in her. She did not have in her so very much impatient feeling inside her. At this time with this trouble in her, impatient being was more than usually active in her, it came out in stupid ways of doing and not doing, she had sometimes, for her, a good deal of impatient feeling inside her. Mostly in her, impatient being was not impatient feeling in her. This is now a history of what all this did in her.
As I was saying Mabel Linker took care of her. It was not an easy matter. Mary went to Mabel every time she felt badly inside her. She never would go to a doctor. This was the impatient being in her, this was the impatient being in her that was the stupid being in her, this will be clearer later.
Mabel Linker took care of her and it was not an easy matter. She would not go to see a doctor. Finally at six months the baby passed out of her. She almost died when this happened to her. Mabel Linker had sent then for a doctor. It came very nearly being too late then to save her. This did not scare her until it was all over. She did not really know what was happening to her. She did not like it when she heard it later, she had no desire for dying in her. All that happened to her was from the impatient being in her. Impatient being was the stupid being in her. Every one has in them their own kind of stupid being, every one has in them a stupid part in them, this is a history of stupid being in Mary Maxworthing and Mabel Linker. This is a history of what happened to each of them, of every thing that was in them, of the kind of stupid being in each one of them.
As I was saying, at the beginning of their living together, at the beginning of their dress-making Mary had for Mabel almost an idolising feeling. No one ever thought about the feeling Mabel Linker had about Mary Maxworthing. That was not important to any one. Later every one who knew them came to think about it but this was in their later living; in the beginning of their living together, in the beginning of their dress-making undertaking, the feeling Mabel Linker had about Mary Maxworthing was not important to any one, no one knew whether she had little or much feeling, this was not important then to any one, not even to Mary Maxworthing. This was because of the nature Mabel Linker had in her. Feeling in Mabel Linker for any one was something no one ever stopped to consider, it was enough that Mary Maxworthing liked living with her, it was enough for any one who knew her to know that when Mary needed her Mabel took good care of her. Later, feeling in Mabel became more important to those that knew her. Later there was a question in the mind of every one who knew her what kind of feeling she had in her. Later every one came to feel about her that mostly she had not any feeling in her. Mary Maxworthing later felt this in her. Later every one who knew her accepted this in her. Some were never very certain about her. She was different then from Mary Maxworthing, she was a very different nature. Every one had the same notion of Mary whether they liked or whether they did not like her, she could surprise them by something happening to her but every one had and always kept about the same estimate of her. This is now more history of her.
There are millions always being made of every kind of men and women. Some kinds of them have it in them to have a being that makes every one who knows one of such of them think that one a singular one but always there are many millions of such of them, as many millions of such of them as of them who have it in them to have every one who sees them think there are always many existing of their kind of them. More and more in living one finds this to be true of people around them. This is now a history of every kind of them of every kind of men and every kind of women who ever were or are or will be living, of every kind of beginning of them as they are babies and children, and now this is a history of these two of them, Mabel Linker and Mary Maxworthing.
There is always then repeating, always everything is repeating, this is a history of every kind of repeating there is in living, this is then a history of every kind of living. There is always then in every one, repeating, there are always being made then millions of every kind of being, there are always then living millions of every kind of men and women, there are and were and will be always existing millions of each kind of them, and the kinds of them from the beginning, and in every nation, are always the same and this is now a history of some of them. There are always then the same kinds of them and millions of them, millions of each kind there are of men and women always existing. Each one of all of them have in them their individual existing, their own history in them, their own living in them, and this is now a writing of the history as it comes out of some of them. There is then always repeating, there is then always individual existing. There is then always repeating, there is then always repeating in each one, in each kind of them, in pairs of them, in pairs of women, in pairs of men, in pairs of men and women. Always more and more in living it comes out how kinds of them in pairing are always repeating, this is true in loving, in friendly being between men and women. Sometimes in living one sees so many repeating, so many who seem when one knows them to be so individual there can never be any one anything like them, a pair of them with so individual a relation made up of two who are so singular in their being that it never seems that there can be others just like them. Always then one sees another pair of them and sometimes it is almost dizzying, it gives to each one of the pairs of them an unreal being, and then it comes again that one understands then that repeating is the whole of living. Repeating is the whole of living and by repeating comes understanding, and understanding is to some the most important part of living. Repeating is the whole of living, and it makes of living a thing always more familiar to each one and so we have old men's and women's wisdom, and repeating, simple repeating is the whole of them.
As I was saying pairing of friends and pairing in loving is always a repeating of the coming together of the kinds of them and this is not just general repeating but very detailed repeating, wonderfully alike the pairs are then in character and looks and loving and living.
As I was saying Mary Maxworthing and Mabel Linker were not altogether successful friends in their living. Later they both were married and then things went a little better for them, also they were succeeding then in their business of dress-making. This was when Mrs. Hersland knew them, when they were again living and dress-making in that part of Gossols where rich people were living.
As I was saying Mary Maxworthing when she was having the baby taken, did not know how near she was to dying. All of it came from the impatient being which was her kind of stupid being. She did not know when the baby was passing how near she was to dying, afterwards she had about it almost an anxious feeling.
As I was saying it was hard on Mabel Linker then to take care of her. Not when the baby was passing out of her for then she had a doctor and was in a hospital with a nurse taking care of her, but before, when she would not see a doctor. She would not let a doctor see her, this was impatient being in her, she would not listen to Mabel Linker or to any one else who tried to advise her, she was full up with impatient feeling. Yes, of course sometimes she was bleeding, but she did not want to pay any attention; she was full up then with impatient feeling. Later after it was over and she knew how near she had been to dying she had for a little while less impatient feeling, she had then in her, some anxious feeling. This was the end of that thing for her. She stayed then a year or two longer with the same employer. During this time Mary Maxworthing and Mabel Linker saw very little of each other. They had had serious troubles with each other.
As I was saying when Mary Maxworthing first had Mabel Linker live with her she had for her almost an idolising feeling. As I was saying men and women, women and women, men and men do so much repeating, it is almost startling as more and more one comes to know it of them. The repeating is not only of the general kind of combining as to their being men and women, as to their being big and little, alike or contrasting, independent dependent and dependent independent, it is likeness of the type of character combining with another and these two are very individual in their being and their relation and sometimes they have in them a kind of being that makes every one who knows them think there can never have been any one like one or the other of them, surely never any two like the pair of them and then one goes on in one's living and then there is repeating of the pair and then another repeating of them and then another repeating of them and always one has about each pair of them the strong feeling of their having each one of them strongly individual being and sometimes it makes of everything a strange world for living and sometimes it makes to one's feeling the world a pleasant and familiar place for living. Strangeness has no place then in living, to one's feeling, it is a familiar thing, living, and to some, such a feeling is the pleasantest kind of feeling they can have in their living.
Mary Maxworthing then is very clear now in her being. She is very clear now to every one. There are many millions always living with her kind of being. There are in every country in every kind of living, they exist with every kind of training. Sometime there will be a history of five of them, sometime there will be a history of all of them. Now this is a history of one of them.
Mary Maxworthing was what every one who knew her, whether they liked her or did not like her, thought her. She had not any recklessness or wildness in her. She had very little weakness in her. She had independent dependent nature in her but she had very little fighting in her, what seemed like fighting was mostly impatient being in her, she had very little attacking in her. She had a certain gayety in her, she had not good nature really in her, she had no heartlessness in her, she had enough sensitive being to make a pleasant sympathetic sweetness in her, that with the little gayety in her gave to her the charm she had in her. The very little attacking, the gayety in her, the impatient being in her, the certain practical feeling for fashion and for being a success, that was in her, gave to her her desire for freedom and a little distinction in the future. She had no sordidness in her, she had not much memory in her. More and more she will be clearer, in the history of her relation to Mabel Linker, in her relation to the man who later married her, in the way she came to the undertaking again of the business of dress-making.
As I was saying, during the trouble she had in her Mabel Linker took care of her. Later they had serious trouble with each other. Finally later when Mabel had a husband to urge her and Mary Maxworthing had a little money left to her they began again to be together, they more or less stuck together though they never really got along together. They had a reasonable success together. This is now a history of Mabel Linker and the nature in her.
Mabel Linker had a different nature. She had her own being in her. Every one has their own being in them. Every one has their own repeating in them. Every one is of a kind of men and women. Every kind of men and women is a kind of a kind of them. All the kinds of them are kinds of the two kinds of them. Sometime there will be a history of all of them.
There are then the two kinds of them, independent dependent and dependent independent. Mary Maxworthing was of the independent dependent, Mabel Linker was of the same kind of them but as one might say of extreme one end of that kind of them, while Mary Maxworthing was of toward the other end of them. This difference made an attraction between them, their being of the same kind of them made it that in the end they did not succeed in continuing friendly living. It is very interesting to know the range in one kind of men and women. This is now a little about one kind of them with Mary Maxworthing and Mabel Linker both of them of that one kind of them but at the two ends of that kind of them.
