The Mating (33 page)

“Ah!” A soft gasp of pain escaped her lips. Her neck was stiff and sore. She must have fallen asleep in an awkward position. Tentatively, she moved her limbs. They felt tired and heavy; in fact, her whole body was lethargic as if she’d just had a marathon work out.

Furrowing her brow, she considered opening her eyes, but at the moment it seemed too much of an effort. Instead, she tried to focus her thoughts again. So many feelings were tumbling about… Hmm… Regret and… Sadness? Was she sad? She hadn’t thought so, but maybe she was, otherwise why would the thought be in her head? The more she concentrated on the sadness, the clearer it became and she felt an ache in her heart. No, it wasn’t her, but someone out there was sad and needed comforting. She should try to find them, help them… Forcing herself to open her eyes, Elise tried to sit up, but moved too quickly. A quick stabbing sensation from her neck had her crying out.

Instantly an intense wave of disgust and loathing washed over her and she tried to recoil from the dark, negative thoughts. What was going on? She felt confused and afraid. What was going on? Was she losing her mind? She darted her eyes around the room as she searched for an explanation.

There was movement beside her and she saw that it was Kane. Of course! It all came rushing back to her now. Their argument, the angry accusations, her emotions all over the board due to her heat cycle. She’d pushed Kane too far and he’d snapped. They’d had sex and then… Oh my God, they’d blood bonded!

Elise quickly moved her hand up to her neck and touched the source of the pain. No wonder it hurt; Kane had had his impressive canines dug into her flesh while they’d wildly mated. She imagined that their frantic movements had resulted in the skin and muscle being more than a bit torn. Well, the hurt wouldn’t last, but at the moment it was more than a little tender.

Sitting on the far side of the bed was Kane. His bare back was to her and he had his head propped in his hands, with his elbows resting on his knees. She shifted so that she was sitting and tentatively reached out a hand to touch his back. “Kane?”

He jerked at her touch and seemed to hesitate before turning, as if reluctant to look at her. His face was impassive, but the expression in his eyes couldn’t totally hide how he was feeling. His eyes… They were bleak pools of despair and regret…

She gasped as it suddenly all made sense to her. If they were blood bonded, their minds were now connected. Her confusion was because both of their feelings were rushing through her brain and she didn’t know how to sort them out yet. But, she frowned and felt her heart lurched. If these were Kane’s feelings, then he was the one who was regretful. But why? Then it dawned on her. He’d blood bonded with her in the heat of the moment and now wished he hadn’t. He didn’t want to be bonded to her. She disgusted him!

Elise felt tears beginning to well up. At the same time, Kane groaned, closing his eyes. Another wave of loathing washed over Elise and she felt her lips tremble as she acknowledged how he felt about her. Kane wiped his face with his hands, and then looked at her again before sighing heavily. “Elise, I’m sorry. This—” He dipped his head towards her neck. “It was a mistake. I never should have done it.”

Elise felt tears spilling down her face as she silently cried. For quite some time now, she’d been hoping Kane would want to blood bond with her and now that he had, he thought it was a mistake! He didn’t love her; she’d misinterpreted his actions completely. While he liked the sex they had, and tolerated her in his home, he didn’t want to be bound to her mind, body, and soul. She felt like someone had just ripped a chunk out of her heart.

Through a haze of tears, she saw Kane lifting his hand towards her, and she recoiled back. She couldn’t bear to have him touch her right now, knowing that it didn’t really mean anything. As she moved away, Kane’s arm froze mid air, then fell to his side, fist clenched. She shuddered; now his pain and anger swept through her. Probably he was remembering the whole mixed up mess with Bryan and was mad at her. It was all her fault.

She wiped her hands across her face and watched as Kane got dressed with angry, jerky movements, his face set in stone. He was leaving, she knew it. There had to be a way to fix this. In a trembling voice, she started to speak. “Kane, about Bryan. I swear I never did anything—“

“Just forget about it, Elise. It doesn’t matter now.” His mind seemed to be building up some kind of a wall, for his feelings were becoming harder to read, as if he was able to lock them all away.

Grabbing a pillow, Elise hugged it to hide her nakedness, feeling exposed and unsure. He would know how she was feeling too, and she was desperate to hide it from him, but didn’t know how. She couldn’t let him know how hurt she was… Sniffling, she reached for a tissue from the bedside table, turning her back momentarily. There was a click behind her and she stiffened. The bedroom door had shut and she was left alone.

That was when she really broke down. Throwing herself across the mattress, she sobbed, heartbroken and mourning the loss of all her dreams. Kane loathed and hated her. She disgusted him. How could she have been so wrong? He’d seemed to genuinely care for her, so what had happened?

True there was this mix up about Bryan, but could that be enough to totally turn him against her? If he’d truly cared, he would have stayed and talked to her. She laughed bitterly at the irony of the situation. Now that they were blood bonded, they were farther apart than ever.

Rolling over on the bed, she stared at the ceiling and tried to find Kane with her mind. Vaguely she could sense his annoyance and immediately withdrew. He didn’t want her bothering him. Somehow, he was managing to block her from his mind and didn’t appreciate her trying to break down his barriers. She blinked rapidly and curled up into a ball. Never before had she felt so sad and alone.

****

She must have been exhausted from the emotional turmoil and her restless sleep the night before, for when she awoke, dawn was just breaking; she’d slept through the whole night. Once again, Kane hadn’t come home to sleep. A feeling of melancholy overtook her and she seriously considered just rolling over and pulling the covers over her head. Unfortunately, her bladder had other ideas and she forced herself to sit up. Pushing her hair from her eyes, she realised that her hair elastic had fallen out at some point in time. Half-heartedly she looked around for it, but then shrugged. It wasn’t worth the effort. Clambering out of bed, she took two steps and then cursed as pain shot through her foot. She’d just stepped on the hard corner of a box that was lying on the floor near the bed.

Glaring at it, she vaguely recalled that she’d landed on it yesterday when Kane had thrown her on the bed. She kicked it out of the way, and continued to the bathroom, deciding to find out what it was, once the call of nature had been dealt with.

After relieving herself, Elise stared into the mirror. Messy dark brown hair and a tear stained face stared back at her while the deep green of her eyes reflected an inner sadness. Examining her neck, she noted the puncture marks and reddened skin that indicated where Kane had bitten her. Yes, there would definitely be a permanent mark there.

Deciding to take a shower, she adjusted the temperature, and stepped under the spray, letting the pounding water soothe her sore muscles. Grabbing the soap and washcloth, she worked up a lather and smoothed the foam over her skin. For a moment, she closed her eyes, reliving the times that Kane had been in the shower with her and he’d explored her body with his hands. A faint smile appeared, she’d been happy then if she had but known it. The future had been filled with endless possibilities; Kane had been eager to be with her. Now, all that was gone. Now she had a mate that she was blood bonded to and he didn’t even like her! Feeling tears starting to well up again, she abruptly finished washing, quickly shampooed her hair and stepped out of the shower.

Elise spoke to herself sternly as she dried off. She had to get a grip and face reality. This wasn’t the first time life had thrown her a curve ball. When her mother was killed, she’d pulled herself together and carried on. When her father had suddenly decided to have her mated to Kane and she’d had to leave Bryan, she’d simply stiffened her lip and made the best of the situation. Well, this was no different. Things hadn’t worked out as planned with Kane, but she’d have to find a way to handle it.

As she vigorously towel dried her hair, she ran though the possibilities. She could go home, back to her old pack. Her father wouldn’t like it, especially since it would break the alliance, but was the alliance really needed? Their packs weren’t at war with each other. The alliance was to keep developers out and from the sound of things, this pack wasn’t about to willingly sell out to anyone, so it was a moot point.

It would be embarrassing going back home. There would be questions. People might think Kane had sent her away because she wasn’t a suitable mate. Being blood bonded to Kane meant she’d never be able to bond with another as long as he was alive, so in essence the rest of her life would have to be spent alone. A shiver ran through her as she contemplated her lonely future.

Grabbing a comb, she began to work the knots out of her hair. So, she could leave, but she’d have to ask Kane’s permission to do so, otherwise he had every right to follow her and drag her back. But would he? Not likely, given how he seemed to be feeling towards her this morning.

She found an elastic to hold her hair back into a pony tail and efficiently restrained her long hair. Yes, leaving was a possibility, but then she’d never see Kane again, never feel his arms around her, never feel his kiss… That would be hard. If she stayed, there was still a chance that they would maintain a physical relationship, but would it be enough? Sex was all they had to begin with and after the first little while, she’d known that wasn’t sufficient. Could she be happy going back to just that? She really didn’t know…

Wrapping herself in a robe, she padded back into the bedroom intent on getting dressed, lost in thought. Halfway across the room, she stopped short. There was that package, still on the floor. At one point in tim, it had been wrapped in colourful paper with a pretty bow. Now, due to its rough treatment, the corner was crushed and the bow was decidedly squished.

Carefully she picked it up, turning it over in her hands until she found the tag. It was written in a bold scrawl, but still quite readable. ‘Happy Birthday, Love Kane.’

Her hands trembled. It had been her birthday yesterday and she’d totally forgotten about it. Hmm… He’d written ‘love Kane.’ Had he meant it or was it just a throwaway term used when signing a card? His feelings just a few hours ago led her to believe it was the latter. Kane had no love for her, even if he had remembered it was her birthday and bought her a present. A lone tear rolled down her face and she quickly scrubbed it away.

She wondered when he’d set the present out. The package had been on the bed when he’d thrown her down, so he must have placed it there at some point after coming home in the morning and before listening to the tape. But why hadn’t Marla taken it when she’d come into the room to leave the diary and steal the note? It made no sense.

Chewing on her lip, she tried to decide if she should open it or not. It was addressed to her, though she doubted Kane still wanted to give her anything. After a few moments of hesitation, she sat down on the edge of the bed and opened the box, curiosity winning out. Drawing away the layers of tissue paper, she gave a soft cry of delight. It was the green angora sweater she’d looked at on her second day. Gently she picked it up and stroked the soft material against her face. How had Kane remembered her mentioning it?

Confusion filled her. What was going on? Did Kane care or not? The present seemed to indicate yes but his feelings after blood bonding with her were a definite no. Maybe he had felt something, but her deceit over Bryan had ruined it.

Realizing that she was clenching the sweater in her hands, she smoothed the material and refolded it into the box, then threw out the wrecked paper and bow. The card she kept, tucking it into her small jewellery box. Even if it meant nothing, she wanted to remember that at one point, Kane had cared a little bit.

Standing by the dresser, she wondered what she should do next. She didn’t feel like facing the rest of the pack. Logically, she knew they wouldn’t be aware of what had happened, but she didn’t feel up to seeing them either. Hiding in the room wasn’t a solution either. Eventually, she had to face the world. As she wavered, practicality won over. Her stomach rumbled reminding her that she hadn’t eaten since lunch the previous day. Taking this as a sign, Elise quickly dressed and went in search of something to eat.

Elise followed the familiar clatter of pots and pans that let her know that Helen was back in her domain. As she entered the warm, friendly kitchen, she pasted a smile on her face and tried to sound perky. “Hi Helen, I missed you yesterday.”

Helen was pulling a ham out of the oven and answered over her shoulder. “I indulged myself and slept in, since it was around two in the morning when I finally got home, and then I guess our paths just never crossed.”

“Wow! You really stayed late with Carrie and John.”

“Well, it was mostly John. The man was a total wreck after the birth, and was convinced he’d never go near Carrie again for fear of making her pregnant.”

“I take it he didn’t do well during labour?”

Snorting, Helen just shook her head and after testing the temperature of the ham, popped it back in the oven. “He’s fine now, but at the time, it was touch and go with him.” She closed the oven door and finally turned to look at Elise. Giving a cry of joy, Helen hurried across the room and embraced her. “Oh, Elise, I’m so happy for you.”

Automatically returning the hug and lightly patting her back, Elise frowned. “Uh…thanks, but why?”

Stepping back, Helen beamed at her. “The blood bond, you silly goose.”

Feeling herself flush, Elise clamped a hand over the mark on her neck. Darn, she should have worn something with a higher neck.