The McGilley Trilogy (30 page)

Taking Sheba over the rolling green expanse of McGilley land, passing gold tipped leafed trees in a blur and splashing through the cool blue lake shore did little to soothe him, little to ease the ache of loss filling him. Where he would go from here, he had no idea. Tomorrow was Thanksgiving, and he didn’t relish the idea of spending the day with his family while trying to pretend everything was okay. He especially didn’t look forward to watching the happiness between Brett and Kayla, even though he was pleased for both of them. Despite their age difference and the fact they were complete opposites, it seems they were perfect for each other, just like Olivia was perfect for him, if he hadn’t been responsible, at least indirectly, for her husband’s death.

The sound of horses approaching drew his attention, and, turning in the saddle, he pulled to a stop and waited warily as Brett and Donovan rode up. “Don’t you two have better things to do than follow me around?” he asked irritably, knowing they were here to grill him about what was going on.

“I don’t, do you, Donovan?”

“Yes,” Donovan answered Brett with a glare at Colin. “So let me get back to it and come clean about what’s going on.”

Ignoring them, Colin turned Sheba and started walking her back towards the stables. “Nothing, I’m fine. Feel free to get back to whatever you have to do.”

“What I have to do is keep an eye on Belle, who’s still not doing well since that accident.”

Colin turned a concerned look on Donovan who had pulled up on his left while Brett flanked him on his right. Despite their irksome meddling, he liked knowing his brothers were there for him. “Is everything okay with the pregnancy? She’s due soon, isn’t she?”

“Yes, within a few weeks, which is why I’m keeping such a close eye on her. The stress of being hit might, eventually make her go into premature labor and I need to be on top of it if that happens. So, out with it. Why is the club closed and why have you been spending your days with Sheba instead of Olivia?”

“And why haven’t you invited her over for dinner tomorrow?” Brett chimed in.

Anger at their prodding and at the whole, impossible situation had Colin pulling up the reins and for the second time this week, letting that anger override his need to keep his secrets buried. “You want to know what happened last weekend? Fine, I’ll tell you.” In short, precise terms, he laid out his deception following the night he had spent with Doug and Olivia, and the consequence, and, by the time he finished, was surprised to discover he felt better at letting them know, even if it meant dealing with their disappointment in him and his actions.

Without a flicker of surprise or condemnation, Brett and Donovan nudged the horses and got all three of them walking again before Brett asked, “How do you know you would have been able to stop anything that went down that day?”

“What?”

“Yeah,” Donovan added, “how do you know you wouldn’t have been killed, or at least wounded right along with your partner? What exactly happened on that highway?”

“I never read the reports, so I don’t know the details, all I know is I lied to get out of being there that day, lied because I wanted my best friend’s wife, and as a result, I wasn’t around to have his back. Damn it, it was my fucking job to have his back.”

Ignoring his statement, Brett questioned him some more, proving he was a good litigator. “So, you don’t have any proof, don’t know for sure if you being there would have made a bit of difference, do you? Why haven’t you read the reports, tried to find out what went wrong, why Doug wasn’t more vigilant, especially since he was alone that day and didn’t have backup?”

Because I’m a coward
, Colin thought derisively, but didn’t say that aloud. He had thought of reading those reports, he had his own copy sitting in his desk at home, but truth was, he simply didn’t have the guts to have what he already knew confirmed in black and white, that he had let his friend and partner down in the worst possible way.

Donovan knew all about keeping silences, how to hide past actions by not facing them or exposing them. But he didn’t have a special relationship on the line, like Colin did, and knew he never would. The least he could do, was encourage Colin to seek all the answers, and forgiveness if necessary to hold on to what he had. “If it was me, and I had a woman like Olivia, I’d want to know if there was any hope, any possible way things aren’t as bad as they seem, at least enough to give you two a chance to work through them.”

Colin watched Donovan ride ahead before turning to Brett. “Do you really think I should hang any hope on such a slim chance?”

“I think you won’t ever be able to put the past to rest until you do. Let us know what you decide.”

By the time Colin brushed down Sheba, fed and stabled her and was heading back to his house, he had decided to read those reports, and God help him if they confirmed what he knew in his heart was true, solidifying the end of his relationship with Livie.

Chapter Eighteen

It was a struggle, but Olivia managed to keep her roiling emotions in check through Thanksgiving with her family, managed to smile and convince her parents she was fine and yes, she was getting out more and learning to embrace life again. The only problem, the one she kept to herself, was that there was only one man she wanted to continue enjoying life again with, and he had walked away from her without a backward look. At the time, she had been glad Colin had simply left without another word after dropping his bombshell admission. She had needed to come to terms with the shock and disappointment his actions had wrought and had to get up the nerve to seek out answers for herself before she could even think about seeing him again.

But now, after reading that Doug had died instantly from a single bullet to the head, she knew there was nothing Colin could have done to stop it. She didn’t know if the man who had killed her husband got in a lucky shot or his experience as a drug dealer and gun runner in Mexico gave him the experience he needed to surprise and take out an experienced Sheriff’s officer, and really, did it matter? Had Colin shown up for work that day, there was a good possibility he would also have been killed or injured, and just the thought of losing him along with Doug was enough to send her running back to him, enough to toss pride aside and beg him to give them a chance to work this out.

By Saturday morning, anger and determination had replaced sorrow and despair over their situation. Colin had spent three years hiding from discovering the truth about his best friend’s death and had walked away from her and the possibility of a future because of his refusal to face the consequences of his actions that day. Instead of staying the whole weekend, Olivia decided to head back to Lexington and the man she had wanted for longer than she cared to admit and throw caution to the wind by making him confront the truth both about the fact he was in no way to blame for Doug’s death and for his feeling’s for her.

Colin politely turned down a few overtures from some of the subs he had played with before Olivia and walked down the hall to relieve Donovan in the bondage room. Pausing at the viewing window into the doctor’s office, he smiled as he saw Kayla strapped down, a gag in her mouth and her body straining as Brett brought her to climax with his mouth between her spread legs.
Lucky son of a bitch
, he thought as he moved on and searched out Donovan as he entered the darker, more intense atmosphere of his room.

The usual thrill he experienced whenever he stepped foot in this club, and especially this room that was designed to cater to his fetish for bondage and domination was missing tonight, probably because the reason for that thrill the past few weeks was also missing. For three years, just knowing Olivia was a phone call or a short drive away was enough for him. Being there for her during that time had kept his guilty conscience at bay and catered to the need he harbored to simply have her in his life. This past week, knowing he had lost the right to even call and check on her had been eating at him more than his guilt, and by Wednesday it was that more than anything his brother’s had said to him that made him pull out the reports on Doug’s shooting that had remained unopened in his desk.

The gaiety of the family Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday was tempered by the knowledge that he hadn’t contributed to Doug’s death by shirking his duties that day, that the perfectly aimed single shot that had killed him instantly would have been beyond his ability to stop or control no matter how close he would have been to the car and the perpetrator, and that he had spent the past three years trying to atone for something that ultimately hadn’t been his fault. The conscience forgiving information had done little, though, to fix the problem he now had, reconciling the past and forging a future with Olivia.

Unsure when she planned to return from spending the holiday with her family, Colin had driven by her house earlier today on the off chance she might have come back early. She wasn’t home, but the For Sale sign in the yard was another glaring indication that it was time for both of them to move on as well as a reminder that whatever relationship they managed to work out between them, he would have to be okay with knowing he would always have to share her affections with her memories of Doug.

Spotting Donovan seated on a long sofa facing the activities on the various pieces of equipment, he took a seat next to him and eyed Mitch applying a paddle to Becky’s nicely rounded ass. Strapped down over one of the spanking benches, the front was lowered to display her buttocks more prominently, leaving the back at a height that was handy for wielding the paddle. Sitting here, aching still for the friend he had lost even as he was picturing Olivia in Becky’s place, her ass a rosy pink from his hand or the paddle, her slit as creamy as Becky’s, her breathless sobs music to his ears, he knew sharing her with Doug’s memory was a small sacrifice to make for keeping her in his life.

“Anything I need to know about?” he asked Donovan who seemed to be preoccupied himself.

“No, it’s been quiet tonight.” Both men grinned when Becky cried out in climax as soon as Mitch thrust his cock in between those reddened cheeks, his fingers buried in her pussy. “Well, relatively quiet,” Donovan drawled. “You okay?”

Colin had confided in both his brothers the information regarding Doug’s shooting and had been grateful for not only their support but that of his mother and stepfather’s, so much so he felt guilty for keeping the truth from them for so long. “Yeah, I’m good. Now, I just have to figure out how to convince Olivia we can work this out.”

“Crap, between you and Brett I’m going to be smothered by lovesick brothers.”

Colin laughed at Donovan’s feigned derision. “You’re just jealous. Wait, when you find the right one, you’ll fall just as fast and hard as we did and then we’ll be the one’s laughing.”

“Not gonna happen, bro. The only commitment I’m making is to my four legged girls.” A look of worry crossed his face, the clench of his jaw making the scar along his cheek stand out.

“Belle still having problems?” Colin asked knowing the mare had been showing signs of stress with her pregnancy since being clipped by a car a few weeks ago after the gates had been left open.

“Yeah. I’ve taken to sleeping in my office just to keep an eye on her. To make matters worse, Dr. Sevign is out of town and not expected back for another two weeks. If I have an emergency, I’m going to have to rely on whoever’s on call.”

“I’m sure any vet Dr. Sevign left in charge will be…”

“Colin McGilley, I want to talk to you.”

Colin swiveled his head to stare in shock and surprise at Olivia who was standing in the doorway dressed in a calf length, form fitting knit dress, hands fisted on her slim hips, whiskey eyes snapping in irritation and some other emotion he couldn’t define. Rising slowly, heart beating a rapid static mix of excitement and trepidation, he crossed to her slowly.

Mimicking her pose, he rested his hands on his hips and replied smoothly, “Do you now?”

“Yes, I do.” Olivia continued to ignore the little voice of reasoning in her head that told her she was going about confronting Colin the wrong way, but worry that he wouldn’t listen to her, that he would simply shut her out like he’s been doing the past three years, had her forging ahead. Here, in front of everyone, he couldn’t dodge her or the truth she had uncovered. “I read the report from the sheriff’s office on Doug’s death and you need to read it also. You…” She faltered, his look of calm acceptance of her tirade throwing her off her game.

“Go on, Livie. I what?” He loved this. His Livie was quiet, somewhat reserved, and for her to come brazenly into his domain and boldly confront him told him how much she wanted him. That didn’t mean he was going to make it easy for her. The plans he was silently making for putting her in Becky’s place would be all the sweeter if he let her finish.

Determination won out over caution and Olivia glared up at him, wondering what he was playing at. “You couldn’t have stopped what happened unless you could see into the future and know what that bastard was going to do. Damn it, Colin, Doug died instantly and you are no more to blame than I am, and you’ve spent three years…”

“That’s Master Colin to you, Livie, and that’s your second blunder.” Taking her hand, pleased as punch, he led her to the bench Mitch and Becky had just vacated before turning back to her stunned face and ordering succinctly, “Strip.”

Olivia noticed everyone looking at them as he led her across the room, spotted Donovan grinning at her then winking as he sat and waited calmly to see if she’d obey him. Wondering why Colin wasn’t asking questions, why he didn’t seem surprised at her announcement, she practically shrieked, “What?”

“Unless you’re releasing me as your Dom, I told you to strip. Generally, I don’t repeat an order twice, at least not without consequences. But since you’ve already racked up a few of those, I’ll say it again, sub. Strip.”

And just like that, her breasts swelled, her nipples beaded, her pussy pulsed and dampened and her clit actually ached. She loved that commanding voice and the way his dominating air took the decision from her and left her really no choice, because, of course, she wanted nothing more than to be his sub. She would question his change of heart later. Right now her body was reminding her it had been a whole week since she had been taken by him.