The Memory of All That (17 page)

Chapter 33

When they returned to the living room, David went to the fireplace. Chad had prepared everything for lighting a fire. Kindling and starter twigs and cones filled the opening, and logs sat on the massive stone hearth. David took a butane starter from the mantle and lit the dry sticks. When they were enveloped in flames, he added small pieces of wood, and as the fire grew, he added larger logs. When it was burning to his satisfaction, he joined Marnie on the sofa.

They sat in silence and watched the flames.

Marnie broke the silence. “I imagine if it weren’t for having to earn a living a person could live up here. It’s so peaceful.”

David turned his body squarely toward her.

“What’s the matter?” she asked. “Did I say something wrong?”

He shook his head. “Marnie, like many of the places I’ve taken you since you returned home, this trip had a purpose, too. At first, I’ll admit, when I took you someplace, like the Roadhouse, I thought I’d catch you in a lie—catch you pretending to have amnesia.” He rose and used the poker to push the burning log to the back of the pile and added a new piece of wood to the front.

“After I became convinced you weren’t making the whole thing up, I did it to try to spark a memory. Sort of like when you drove to the mall and parked in the same spot you did when you ran off with Ray. Your subconscious did that, but it didn’t take you any further.

“Nothing seemed to work. No more memories came through. Then I thought about bringing you up here. You and I came up here not long after Jonathan was born. You were so stressed out over having a baby, so sure you couldn’t take care of an infant, you didn’t even want to try. My mother found Mrs. Tucker to take care of Jonathan. She had been working for another family in Mother’s circle until the children got too old to need her. I brought you up here to calm you down, to try to talk to you and get our marriage to work.”

“I don’t remember anything about being up here before. Did I like it?”

“No. You disliked it intensely. Being out here ‘in the wilds,’ as you called it, made you even more upset. You hated it, and after a couple of days, you threw a fit, and I took you back to town.”

Marnie could only stare in dismay. She turned back and fixed her gaze on the flames.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about what might have happened to me.”

“So have I.”

“I think it might have been a car wreck.”

“Why do you say that?” he asked.

“Driving up here today, I got very nervous several times. Meeting big trucks, especially, made me panicky. Was there anything before, any reason you know of, that a situation like that might scare me?”

“No. To my knowledge you’ve never been in a wreck of any kind.”

“Driving around town hasn’t bothered me at all, but it was all I could do to keep from screaming when we met a big truck on the road up here.”

David seemed perplexed. “But you didn’t have any bruises or scrapes on your body.”

Marnie sighed. “I know. So that doesn’t really fit, does it? But still, that’s what I feel.”

They continued to reflect on that idea.

“I think whatever happened to me must have scared me so much I decided I didn’t want to live my life the way I had been. From what you tell me, I’m different than I used to be.”

“Yes, you are. You are definitely changed in many ways, but you’re still you, if you know what I mean.”

“I’m not sure that I do.”

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, too, about what you were like when we first met, what you were like during our marriage, and the difference in what you’re like now. When we first hooked up, you were sassy and sexy and made no bones about wanting to be in my bed. Yes, you deliberately got pregnant in order to trap me into marriage. But on the other hand, there was a side of you then that I see now. You listened to my sorrows and troubles, my doubts about myself, and you were kind and comforting. That’s the side I see in you now. That’s the side I fell in love with—the side I kept thinking about when we married.”

“I’m glad to hear not everything about me was bad. It sounds like even though I was determined to get you to marry me, I was at least somewhat nice to you,” Marnie said. “I must have at least liked you, if not loved you.”

“Yes, you were. And you did have a good side. I wouldn’t have fallen for you if you hadn’t—wouldn’t have married you. I realized I didn’t really have to marry you. If I truly didn’t want to, you couldn’t make me. But I saw the kind side of you, too, the side that listened and cared and encouraged me. I kept thinking that side of you would shine through once we were married and you didn’t have to worry about catching me anymore.

“But”—he paused and took a deep breath—“I was wrong. You became more concerned about parties and clothes and friends that I didn’t want to have anything to do with. I kept hoping you’d show me the sweet part of you again, but you didn’t . . . until you disappeared and came back. Now the part of you I fell in love with is back even stronger. It’s like you were a kid, a teenager, and now you’ve grown up and settled down. Whatever happened to you matured you, that’s for sure.”

Marnie wondered if David was telling her he still loved her, telling her there was still a chance their marriage might work.

“Oh, you’re still sexy as hell, but you don’t have to flaunt it like you used to. Looking back, it was almost like you thought no one would notice you, no one would like you, if you didn’t wear provocative clothes. You’re surer of yourself now—not out to prove anything.”

“Sure of myself? I’m about as unsure of myself as anyone who can’t remember their past can be.”

“Oh, you’re surer than you think. You’ve said to me several times you know who you are deep down inside, and you aren’t the woman who wore the clothes in your closet. That’s why you got rid of them. Whatever happened to you has made you look into your psyche to find the Marnie you are determined to be from now on.”

“I hope so. What worries me more than anything is when the memories come flooding back I’ll turn back into the hedonistic Marnie.”

“I just don’t see that happening. At least I hope not.”

“I hope not, too,” she muttered.

Chapter 34

The fire crackled and popped as Marnie thought about all that had been said and wondered about both the past and the future. She gazed into the yellow and orange hues of the flames, imagining pictures in the fire, hoping it would stir some memory of the last time she had been there with David.

David rose and went to put another log on the fire. He adjusted the logs with the poker and stood in front of the flames, absorbing their warmth.

“I’ll admit there isn’t much to do up here. There’s no TV to watch, for example.”

“You know, I hadn’t even missed it.”

“The only reception up here is by satellite, and it isn’t worth it to pay for service we seldom use.”

“If we come up here often, it might be a good idea to bring a TV and a DVD player. We could watch movies, and it might be good entertainment for Jonathan if we have a rainy day and he can’t go outside.”

“You’re right. That’s a good idea. He does like to play with his cars out on the porch if it’s rainy, but sometimes when a front moves through, it’s too cold.”

After a couple of minutes, Marnie spoke. “Could I ask you something about this whole business?”

“Sure. Ask away.”

“Can you tell me about the project Ray stole? You said its loss endangered the future of Barrett’s. Is that true? What happens if you never find Ray and the . . . thing, whatever it is?”

“I can’t be more specific about what it is. That’s a military secret. I have several people trying to recreate the project to the point it was at when Ray took off with the prototype and plans. Even if we are able to reproduce the whole project, it’ll put us way behind schedule, and the government won’t be happy about that. I have a meeting with government officials in about six weeks, and they’re expecting to see what I had before Ray absconded with it. Ray is probably trying to sell it to a competitor. Whether another company will buy it and take the risk of being accused of stealing it or of corporate espionage, I don’t know. I have six weeks left to do something.”

“Well, I hope you find Ray and get your work back, unharmed and unsold. I’m so ashamed I was part of anything like that. I know apologies won’t help, but I am sorry. Even if I didn’t help steal it, I was part of the escape, and for that I apologize.”

“Let’s just let it drop for tonight. I brought us up here to get away from all of that. Even if being here didn’t bring back any memories, we can relax and forget that particular pressure for a couple of days.”

“OK. That’s fine with me.”

“We do have a few entertainments here in the wilds,” he said, as he moved toward the armoire. Marnie followed. He opened the doors, and she saw a shelf full of books. Scanning the titles, she found war stories and mysteries, left by the men who had traveled to the cabin in years past.

“Some of these mysteries might be good,” she said. She noticed a stack of magazines and picked one off the pile. It was a fashion magazine from four years ago, and the one under it was a tabloid with movie stars’ pictures scattered across the front.

“You left those magazines that one time you came,” David explained. “Dina never throws anything out when she cleans up after we leave.”

“Well, I’ll throw them out.” Marnie gathered the magazines and threw them in the trashcan when she walked into the kitchen. As she turned to return to the living room, a scratching noise came from the armoire.

“We do have this radio to provide some entertainment. If we’re lucky, we might pick up a station. Reception is so bad up here in the mountains we don’t even have cell phone service except in certain places, and this cabin isn’t one of them.”

He adjusted the dial on the set, trying to get a clear signal. At last, the sound of music drifted into the room. Violins uttered sweet tones, and a trumpet echoed the melody as an orchestra offered songs from decades past. David held out his hand.

“Would you care to dance?” he asked.

It seemed automatic for Marnie to place her hand in his. “I don’t know if I know how to dance,” she said as he placed her hand on his shoulder and took her other hand in his.

“For sure you know how to fast dance,” David replied as he pulled her closer and started moving to the music.

“I do . . . did?”

“You did. You could dirty dance until every man within eyesight got a . . . er . . . was visibly aroused, if you get my meaning . . . when you were on the dance floor.”

Marnie was so embarrassed she tried to pull away from her husband’s grasp, but his hand on her back kept her close.

“Uh-uh. Don’t pull away. To answer your question, I don’t know if you slow dance or not. I don’t recall us ever dancing this way. They don’t play music like this at the Roadhouse, but you shouldn’t have any trouble with it.”

He moved her slightly away from him and looked down at their feet. “See, this way,” he said. “Step, slide, step. Then back again, step, slide, step.” They practiced a few steps. He then pulled her back close to him again.

“See, it’s coming back to you,” he said. “Just feel my hand on your back guiding you.”

It felt right to Marnie to be in his arms, like coming home. She let her cheek rest on his shoulder and closed her eyes, drifting along with the music. She felt him lay his cheek on the top of her head, and he pulled her even closer. Their bodies fit together like two parts of a puzzle, interconnected to make a perfect picture.
But a picture of what?
she wondered.

David released her right hand, and removing his hand from her back, he urged both of her hands up beyond his shoulders. Her arms encircled his neck as his wrapped around her body. One of his hands urged her even closer, pulling her against the hardness of his erection. His lips found the soft skin beneath her ear, kissing ever lower. When he started to set her away from him, she was so dizzy with arousal she almost fell. She moaned in disappointment, sure he was going to end the encounter.

“Shh,” he whispered. “It’s OK. It’s not over.” He reached for the radio and turned it off. Putting one arm around her, he pulled her toward him and kissed her, his tongue briefly outlining her lips. He broke the kiss to guide her toward the bedroom. “It’s just beginning.”

Chapter 35

Something aroused Marnie from her sleep, and she snuggled more closely to David’s back. The bare skin of her breasts and stomach found his warm skin comforting. She was drifting back into slumber when a noise brought her back.

“Daddy . . . Daddy,” a small voice whispered.

“Mmm.”

“Daddy.”

“Jonathan?” David said sleepily.

“Daddy, you said you were going to sleep in the other bed. When I woked up you weren’t there.”

“It’s OK, Jonathan. I decided to sleep here instead,” David’s sleepy voice explained.

“You weren’t there, Daddy, and I was scared. I looked for you, and you weren’t in the living room or kitchen. I didn’t know where you were.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Sport. But it’s OK now.” David patted his son on the arm. “Tell you what. Go get dressed. Get a clean pair of jeans and a clean shirt and put them on. I’ll meet you in the kitchen in a few minutes.”

“OK, Daddy.” Jonathan left the room, pulling the door shut behind him.

David rolled over to face Marnie, and she pulled the covers up over her bare breasts.

“Busted,” he said with a grin and kissed her on the nose. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” she replied, a wide smile on her face.

“I told myself this wouldn’t happen, but somehow you’ve worked your way into my heart again.” He brushed her hair back from her face.

Marnie stared into his eyes. “And you are in mine. Even though I don’t remember you from before, you are somewhere deep in my heart and mind. My soul remembers you.”

“No matter how I fight it, the passion between us pulls me in and my common sense flies out the window.” He kissed her long and hard then pulled back. “I’d love to spend the day right here with you, but I guess I’d better go see to our son before he comes back.” He rose and slipped into the jeans he had discarded on the floor the night before. Picking up his shirt and shoes, he smiled at her and left the room. A minute later, she heard the water running in the bathroom.

Marnie rose and retrieved her robe from the suitcase, putting it on before the chill of the room could sink in or Jonathan came back. She laid out her clothes for the day, a pair of jeans and the pink sweatshirt she had worn her first day out of bed after her illness.

David stuck his head into the room. “Bathroom’s all yours!”

Marnie gathered her bathing gear and went to take a shower, needing to remove the scent of lovemaking that enveloped her. When she entered the kitchen a few minutes later, she found David frying bacon and Jonathan on a stool at the bar that separated the kitchen from the living room. He was busy at work.

“I’m making the toast for breakfast,” he declared proudly.

“Just have a seat. It’ll be ready in a minute,” David said.

“Why don’t I pour the juice?” she suggested and started toward the cabinet holding the glasses.

“OK. Your men were going to fix breakfast for you, but if you insist,” David joked.

“Yeah, your men were fixing your breakfast,” Jonathan intoned as he took two slices from the toaster.

David reached over and kissed her lightly on the lips as she passed by him then turned to Jonathan. “I think that’s enough toast, buddy. If we need more later, I’ll let you fix it.”

After they had eaten, David started gathering the dirty dishes from the table.

“If you two can handle the cleanup, I’m going to go take a shower,” he said.

“Can we handle the cleanup?” Marnie asked Jonathan.

“Sure,” he said.

David returned in jeans and a plaid flannel shirt just as Marnie dried the last plate and put it away.

“What shall we do today?” His question was directed to Jonathan, but as he spoke, he came up behind Marnie and put his arms around her, burying his face into her shoulder and giving her a kiss on the neck. She shivered and leaned her head back against him.

“Later,” he whispered.

Jonathan was bouncing up and down on his toes. “Let’s go back to the lake!”

“That sounds good to me, but let me get something first.” He went to the armoire and rummaged through one of the bottom drawers.

“Aha!” he said and pulled out two sets of binoculars. He handed one pair to Marnie and put the strap of the other around his neck.

“What are those, Daddy?”

“Binoculars,” he replied. “They help you see a long way off. I’ll show you how to use them when we get to the lake.”

A few minutes later they reached the dock, and David had them sit in the middle of it.

“Why can’t we sit on the edge?” Jonathan asked. “I like to hang my legs off.”

“Sometime we can do that, but I need to watch to be sure you don’t fall off. I can’t do that and use the binoculars at the same time. I want to teach you how to use them, too.”

“I won’t fall off!”

“I want to be sure of that. You might get so interested in what you’re seeing that you make a mistake. And it’s still much too cool to be swimming in the lake. Middle of the dock, Sport.”

David and Marnie viewed their surroundings through the lenses.

“When can I look?” Jonathan whined.

“Let me find something for you to look at,” David replied. “Oh. OK, now, here,” he said as he situated Jonathan’s hands on the binoculars and brought them up to his face. He turned the boy’s head slightly. “See? Right over there across the lake? It’s a deer with her baby. See it?”

It took a minute for Jonathan to zoom in on the shy creatures, but once he did he was enthralled. “The momma’s getting a drink, Daddy! She’s drinking out of the lake.”

Marnie was watching the deer also and said to Jonathan, “The mother deer is called a doe, and the baby deer is called a fawn.”

“Marnie, may I use your binoculars for a minute?”

She handed them over and shortly afterward David remarked, “I thought so.” He handed them back to her. “Look in the trees behind them. See the buck standing guard?” He helped Jonathan move his sight slightly. “Look there, Jonathan. The buck, the daddy deer, is in the trees behind them.”

“Oh, Daddy. I see him. It’s a whole deer family. Momma, daddy, and little boy, just like us.”

Marnie and David looked at each other. Behind Jonathan, David clasped her hand.

“Yes, son. A family, just like us.”