The Mind Connection: How the Thoughts You Choose Affect Your Mood, Behavior, and Decisions (2 page)

The way to put off your old life and put on the new, enjoyable life that God offers us is by renewing your mind and attitude daily (see Ephesians 4:22–24). “Daily” sounds daunting, doesn’t it? Don’t you wish Scripture said, “Do this once and you will enjoy victory the rest of your life”? However, it doesn’t say that, and if we truly want to live life to the fullest and enjoy each moment of it, we will need to form a habit of thinking life-energizing thoughts instead of life-draining ones. One of the simple ways to practice this is by thinking about what you do have instead of what you don’t have, and being grateful for every blessing, no matter how tiny or insignificant it may seem.

Here are some quotes to consider on gratitude:

An unwillingness to count his blessings was one of Charlie’s biggest problems. I think we would all agree that he probably wasn’t thankful for much, if anything at all. All of his blessings were clouded by his negative attitude. Instead of thanking God that he had a job, he resented not having a better job. Instead of realizing his parents did their best for him, he believed they didn’t love him enough to provide better opportunities. He compared everything about his life to those who had more than he did, but he never realized how much more he had than a majority of people worldwide.

What happened to Charlie in the long run? He did lose one more job and was on the verge of losing another when a Christian man he worked with invited him to go to church with him and his family. Julie already attended church regularly, but Charlie had always refused to go. This time he said yes, and it turned out to be just the right thing at just the right time. He had been miserable long enough; he was finally ready for a change. When the opportunity came at the close of the service to receive Jesus Christ as His Savior, Charlie took a bold step and joined with many others in saying yes to Jesus. Gradually, over the years, as Charlie learned about the new way of thinking and the new life that Jesus offers us, he did change. He and Julie went on to have two amazing children, and Charlie held on to his job and was
even promoted several times. I love stories with good endings, don’t you? I wish everyone’s story ended in victory, but sadly many don’t. The opportunity for a great life is available to everyone, but not everyone is willing to do what it takes to have it.

Good things are available to each of us, because God does not play favorites by doing good things for one person and not for another. No matter how bad life has been until now, it can change. Always remember that you can overcome evil with good. The darkness cannot overtake the light as long as we keep the light on. Turn the light on in your mind and fill it with positive, hope-filled, thankful, grateful thoughts. As you do this, you will experience godly energy filling your soul. It will be in your words, your attitudes, and your actions. Everything in life is connected to the mind, and it is there that you win or lose the battle for having the life you have always wanted.

• No matter what you’re going through, you have the opportunity to enjoy your life.

• Enjoying your life begins with the thoughts you choose to think.

• Renewing your mind isn’t a one-time decision—it is a daily decision to think positive, hope-filled, godly thoughts.

• If you’re willing to do what it takes, you can really have a great life, because every part of your life is connected to your mind.

Would you like to be in a good mood every day? You are probably thinking,
Yes, of course I would. Who wouldn’t?
I spent a lot of years being controlled by a variety of moods and believing I had no choice in how I felt. I envied all the “happy people.” You know the ones I am referring to; they wake up singing and skip through each day. They are
ALWAYS
happy and don’t even have to make an effort to be this way. What is their secret?
Why them and not me?
I used to wonder. Some people are born with a temperament that makes it easy for them to look on the bright side, but even they have to make choices about their thoughts and attitudes toward life. Any person, no matter how naturally inclined they are toward good moods, can have sour, negative thoughts if they don’t choose differently.

Your mind, mouth, moods, and attitudes are all intricately connected. First you think, and then your thoughts turn into words that you speak, and the two of them together affect you emotionally and turn into moods and attitudes. If you truly want to be
in a good mood on a regular basis, you can start by choosing to think about things that will generate good emotions instead of bad ones.

If you desire greater emotional stability and the ability to maintain a consistent good attitude no matter what your circumstances are, then make it a goal and don’t give up until you have reached it. As C. S. Lewis said, “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
¹
As you walk with God, you can always begin again. It is never too late for a fresh start. Your history does not have to be your destiny!

Consistently thinking good and godly thoughts, speaking beneficial words, and enjoying stability in mood and attitude are not necessarily easy things to do, but it is possible. I have personally been working toward this goal for almost forty years, and although I have not arrived at perfection, I have made amazing progress.

For example, Dave no longer has to wonder what kind of mood I will be in when he gets up in the morning. I have successful days, and I also have days when I feel that I failed miserably, but I
believe
that with God’s help I can keep growing. I am a goal-oriented person, and accomplishment, even in small doses, motivates me to keep moving forward. I always encourage people to look at how far they have come instead of how far they have to go. The devil wants us to focus on our failures, but God wants us to focus on our successes.

A walk begins with one step and then another and another. No matter how long your journey
seems, if you take enough steps in the right direction, you will eventually arrive at your desired destination. Don’t hesitate to begin because it seems to you that you have a long way to go. It is better to spend your life moving in the right direction one step at a time than to have no direction at all. No matter what your problems may be, things can get better with God’s help.

You never have to be afraid to ask God for anything. He is delighted when we ask!

The Word of God tells us:

These Scriptures are an open invitation to experience miracles in your life if you will simply believe. It is important to notice that believing comes before receiving. These verses gives us three steps to answered prayer: ask, believe, and receive. We are not told that we will get what we want or need immediately. The Scripture simply says we will get it. The beginning of prayer is asking, the
middle is the waiting and continuing to believe, and the end is the manifestation of the desired result. Those who cannot make it through the middle will never see the miracle! The one thing we need to do in the middle is keep believing that God is working and that our breakthrough may come at any moment.

Believing is a great benefit when it comes to maintaining a good mood and attitude. When you believe, hope comes alive. And one of the great things about hope is that hope brings joy. The apostle Paul said it this way in Romans 5:2:

Is there any area of your life in which you have given up hope of seeing change? If so, then may this be a point of resurrection! With God’s help, you can resurrect your faith and hope—you can
believe
once again that nothing is beyond God’s ability. All things are possible with God!

While we are believing and waiting for God to do what only He can do, it is important that we are led by the Holy Spirit in doing whatever God may ask us to do.

We are called to be responsible people who delight in obedience to God. I believe that one of the biggest problems we face in our world today is that many people don’t want to take responsibility for their lives. It is easy to think that our problems are someone else’s fault, but that mind-set never fixes our problems.
I have watched people with this passive mentality, including my own mother and brother, ruin their lives many times.

Because my mother was passive in dealing with my abusive father, all of our lives were affected in a negative and devastating way. My brother ended up with severe emotional issues that haunted him until he tragically committed suicide. Things could have been different for my brother, but sadly he refused to take responsibility for himself. He always wanted someone else to do for him what he should have been doing himself. He had drug and alcohol abuse problems, and although we tried to help him, there were some choices that only he could make, and he would not make them.

My mother was guilt ridden and lived with so many regrets that she eventually had a nervous breakdown followed by a lifelong anxiety disorder. These problems resulted from her unwillingness to confront my dad and stand up for herself and her children. To put it simply, she did not do what she was responsible for doing, and the outcome was that she forfeited the good life that God desired her to have.

When I asked my mother why she stayed with my father, knowing what he was doing to me, she said, “I
thought
I could not financially take care of us, and I didn’t
think
that I could face the scandal and what people would
think
if they knew the truth.” Her unwillingness to take action ultimately destroyed her life, and it was directly connected to her thoughts.

I know the dangers of passivity because I have watched what it does to people. My mother’s passivity and disobedience to God not only did tremendous damage to my brother’s life and mine, but it also ruined her life. Jesus teaches us to be responsible, active, alert, energetic, and filled with zeal. Lazy and apathetic people don’t win the race or end up with the prize in life.

We may or may not be responsible for the current condition of our lives. Lots of things happen that are out of our control and may not be our fault, but one thing is for sure: We don’t have to take it lying down. In other words, we can come against things that are not proper by refusing to let them overwhelm us, and by having an attitude that we will overcome all obstacles with God’s help. In order for that to happen, we cannot look at our problems and think,
This will never change
, or
Poor me. Why did this have to happen to me? Now my life is ruined.
We can feel sorry for ourselves and make excuses, but as long as we do, we will not make any progress.

I want to assure you that you do have a choice in what you think. It will take some retraining of the mind and forming new habits, but you can do it with God’s help. Please don’t wait any longer for someone else to make your life better. Take the responsibility for improving it yourself. Ask God to help you, and then begin following His guidance. I am not suggesting that everything that is wrong will be fixed overnight. As a matter of fact, looking for quick fixes is a deception in itself. Most things take longer than you think they will, and if you’re not in it for the long haul, you won’t reach your destination.

One of the things that I appreciate about my husband, Dave, is that he is extremely stable. I never have to wonder what kind of a mood he will be in when he wakes up. This has been important to me, because I grew up in a home that was exactly the opposite. Bad moods were ever present. I’m sorry to say that I learned and then continued the same behavior that I despised. Dave has shared that he remembers driving home from work at night and thinking,
I wonder what kind of mood Joyce will be in tonight?
That
is sad, but it was even sadder that I never knew myself. I just went with my feelings, whatever they happened to be. If my circumstances were pleasant and going my way, my mood was good, but Lord help us all if that wasn’t the case. Women often control the emotional atmosphere of the home, and I was good at making ours unpleasant. In my defense, let me say that I was deceived through lack of knowledge and that I am extremely and eternally grateful to God for teaching me truth that has set me free.

Like most people, I wasn’t fully aware of how bad my attitude was, because I justified it in my own mind by making excuses. I didn’t realize how negatively my bad moods were affecting the people around me who loved me. I did know that I was unhappy, and that reality finally opened my eyes to realize that something was wrong. Once I got that far and asked God to show me what was wrong, He answered my prayer. When God began opening my eyes to the truth, I cried for days as I realized how difficult it was for people to be in a relationship with me, and how much of my life I had wasted being in bad moods. At this point, I still wasn’t aware that all my moods were connected to my thoughts, but at least I was open to facing truth, and that is the starting point for all personal breakthroughs. If you are not happy and you ask God why, I can promise you that He won’t tell you that it is your circumstances. He will tell you that it is your mental and emotional posture toward your circumstances, and you have the opportunity to take responsibility for changing them. He always helps us, but He doesn’t do everything for us without any participation on our part.