The Moment She Knew (9 page)

As they walked down the pier,
Connor looked at his watches and told Callie the show should start soon. His hands then went into his pockets as they walked to the end of the pier where the barge stood awaiting to set off the firework show. Callie wanted to ask about the two watches but didn’t.

“Can I ask why you stretch your hands and then put them in your pockets? Is it an insecure thing? Not that you have any reason to be insecure. Or like a
n OCD thing?” She finished her question just as they reached the end of the pier. He turned with his hands in his pockets, facing her.

“It’s so I don’t touch you
,” he said, in a deep voice. There was no hiding the shocked expression on her face.

“I told you I was attracted to
you and I get the urge to reach out and touch you. Sometimes it’s simple, like I want to hold your hand or kiss you. Other times it’s… not so simple and I want to take your clothes off so I can see those hidden tattoos again,” he chuckled. 

“Oh
,” was Callie could muster and the smile on her face couldn’t be missed. The fireworks started and Callie turned in the direction of the red, white and blue sparks that lite up the sky. The air was warm and a light breeze was coming off the water. She glanced over in Connors direction and saw his hands left his pockets He stepped closer and brought one hand up to her lips. His thumb brushed along her lips as he leaned in to kiss her. His hands found her waist and he moved in closer. Callie kissed him back, keeping one hand on his chest and the other crept up his neck and into his hair, she lightly tugged and he moaned. She confirmed his hair was silky and his lips were deliciously soft. They stopped kissing when one of the fireworks made a loud crack. They turned to watch the rest of the show wrapped in each other’s arms. The worst trip ever had turned into the best trip ever.

Chapter 11

The rest of the summer was full of teaching and preparing for the fall. Connor lectured until the end of July. He was doing one lecture class over the fall semester which started late-August. After the kiss on the pier Connor didn’t make another move. Callie caught him on occasion flexing his hands and placing them into his pockets. They didn’t hang out as much either. Connor went back home for most of August. He and Callie didn’t communicate much. Callie had contacted him, but Connor was always busy; she took the hint.

She
thought something would have happened between them. She really liked Connor and thought the feeling was mutual, but she was wrong. It figures the one guy she did like, didn’t feel the same. Reed had appeared in a few dreams. They talked about Connor; Reed thought it was best to give him time. Callie didn’t think he needed time. She just figured it was going to be nothing and thought to dismiss it. Reed strongly suggested she didn’t. When Callie talked to Dani she seemed to have the same opinion as Reed.

Dani was vaguely aware of R
eed. Callie felt dumb but on one night of them drinking wine at Dani’s house, after the kids went to bed, they got into a conversation about the perfect man and dreams and Callie let it slip. She thought Dani was going to laugh but she didn’t.

Ryan had been around a bit more during August. They
fell into a routine of hanging out on a regular basis. It was great to see Ryan again. She missed their dates at Louie’s and hanging out watching movies. The rest of the summer flew by and before she knew it, fall was approaching.

Callie
had everything in order. Classes were just beginning and she was already busy with her full time status. She also was looking into getting her PhD. She just needed the money and a program that fit into her schedule. In early September Connor came around more, but things still seemed a bit off with him. He always said he was fine and after a while she didn’t ask anymore. If he wanted to talk he knew where she was.

The first week in October signaled fall was here.
It was a season Callie had come to love and hate. The month was bittersweet. She had so many fond memories of her best friend and their fall adventures, but the end of the month would mark his birthday and serve a painful reminder of what she had lost. Her friends were planning trips to the local vineyard, haunted hayrides and apple picking, which Callie loved but always seemed like a 3
rd
, 5
th
or 7
th
wheel. She still would go along because more things she did to keep her mind busy, the better.

While on the phone with
Dani, making plans to take the kids trick or treating, she heard a knock at the door. It was Connor. Her heart began to race. “Dummy, see what he wants and call me back!” Dani shouted. Callie hung up and answered the door.

Connor
casually walked in and began talking. “So it’s no big deal or anything and actually I hate my birthday, but my family insists on having a family dinner. Ryan will be going as well. It will be at my parents’ house in Milford. I wanted to extend the invite. It’s the weekend of the twenty-fifth.”

She wanted to decline but didn’t want to lie. She tried to think of something quickly, “Yea
, I can go.”
NO, not that!

“
Ok good and since you already said you can go and can’t back out I should have mentioned they like to get dressed up, so whip out that black cocktail dress.” Before she could protest Connor was gone. Great another fucking fancy event. 

“I cannot take some of these adjuncts!”
Ryan walked into Callie’s classroom. She had just finished her final lecture of the day. “What the fuck does Fight Club have to do with business?! Why would you show fight club TWICE? I can’t even think straight. Tonight we drink! Louie’s at seven, be there.”

Callie
decided to get dressed up for Louie’s. Why shouldn’t she pick up some random guy at a bar, yea she was against it but other people did it all the time. Connor clearly had no interest.  So she put on her black leather jacket with a plain black tank top underneath, the tank top came down a bit low. She had on dark wash skinny jeans and a pair red of heels. She put on a bit more makeup than normal. She looked at herself in the mirror and was confident in her reflection. 

By the time
Callie made it to Louie’s, Ryan was doing shots with people and Connor was nursing his beer. Ryan saw Callie and bolted for her. “There she is!” He said with a big slap on the back, it jerked her forward.

“Look at you looking all types of hot tonight. Someone must be on the prowl
,” he made a tiger claw. She was going to have to remind him to never do that again.

“U
mm no I just wanted to get dressed up, it’s been a while.” She looked over at Connor who looked upset, she asked but he responded he was fine with a clinched jaw, she can tell something was wrong but again, wasn’t going to pry.

“So
Callie you need some shots so you can catch up.” There were only a few things Callie couldn’t say no to and shots were on that list. A few glasses of wine and countless shots later and Callie’s steady buzz had her feeling a bit tired. She yawned and Ryan gave her a look. “Not tonight little lady.” He pulled her to where the small dance floor was. She turned around on the floor and caught Connor watching them. She loved to dance to this music. Ellie Golding’s Burn came on. Callie had this song on repeat on her iPod. She went up to Connor and asked him if he wanted to dance.

“No
, I can’t dance to this,” he responded. She smiled and remembered his response to her the night of the charity event. “It’s easy. I lead and you follow.” She pulled him up. He placed his beer down and followed her to the dance floor. She wrapped his arms around her so her back was pressing against his chest and they moved. He was actually a good dancer, very smooth. Where she moved, he flawlessly followed. Their bodies moved as one. They danced closely and did a few spins and twirls. They took a break and just when Callie was going to sit down a guy came up and asked her to dance. She wanted to go sit with her friends but this was why she got dressed up, right? So she accepted. They danced and after a song or two he was getting a little too close for comfort. He had tried to kiss her once but she played it off. His hands seemed to be roaming all over her. She tried to keep his hands above the belt but it wasn’t working. He asked her if she wanted to leave and she responded not yet. She was starting to feel uncomfortable. Maybe this wasn’t her thing. Next thing she knew Connor was in front of her telling her it’s time to leave. The guy went to interject but Connor turned around and whatever he said to the man, made him back down. Connor grabbed her hand and led her out of the bar.

“What the fuck is wrong
with you?” She asked furiously.

“I know what
you’re trying to do and I’m keeping you from making a mistake.” Connors voice was louder than normal. She shook her head in amazement.

“This isn’t your business
Connor.” She was angry. She started walking in the direction of Whitney Manor.

“You don’t go to a bar to find some guy to take you home.
You aren’t the girl some guy takes home just to fuck. That isn’t you.” He was following her. 

“Maybe it is me!” She yelled back, but she knew it wasn’t.

“Callie, Callie, will you slowdown in those heels, damn you’re fast.” They were in view of the apartment building.

“I’m trying to get a
way from you.” She was starting to cry. She didn’t want cry, not in front of him. She would feel stupid. Drinking and thinking never went well together.

“I’m not leaving
until I know you’re home safe.”

S
he huffed, “you mean alone.”

H
e nodded, “well yea, that too.”

She reached her apartment
door and tried to unlock it. Her eyes were blurry, she was tired and angry. He reached for her key and unlocked the door for her. She could feel the tears down her face and she knew they were only going to come faster. He opened the door and followed her in the apartment.

“Please leave
,” she begged.

“I told you I’m not leaving until I know you are ok
,” he shut the door behind him.

“I’m not ok! I’m not going to be ok until you leave
!” She stomped her heel down like a child who wasn’t getting their way.

“Well then
, we have an issue here.” He felt like shit she was crying. He knew he was the cause but he also knew this wasn’t the type of girl she was. Callie wasn’t like the girls he would bring home from the bar. That was one reason of the many reasons he liked her. She wasn’t like anyone else. She was an amazing girl. He wanted to stay away thinking maybe he wasn’t good for her. He didn’t know anything about dating. He didn’t know about caring for someone. Until Callie, he was sure he wasn’t capable of having feelings like this. He was grateful for people in his life but his feelings for Callie were different than that. Still he had so many demons. He didn’t think he was a good person, definitely not someone who deserved a person like Callie.

“Why
do you even care?” She was full on crying now. Not like you see in the movies, but the eyes red and puffy, nose running, ugly face crying that happens in real life.

H
e had been down the road far too many times. He knew the emptiness that stayed with you after a random person left your bed. He knew she deserved better. She could be mad at him, he wasn’t going to let her make that mistake.

“Because
it shouldn’t have been him!” He was raising his voice again.

“Oh really?
And why not? You think I should wait and find someone who likes me because that isn’t going to happen. I thought you liked me and I was wrong. And I warned you about talking to me in such a way, so take it down a notch.” She went to the bathroom to blow her nose.

Connor
paced the living room, his hands laced together on top of his head. “You weren’t wrong. I did like you. I do like you,” he sighed in frustration.

“Oh really s
o you ignore people you like? I tried to contact you and I got ignored. I took the hint Connor,” she shouted from the bathroom.

“I thought maybe it was better
I that wasn’t around and, ok, thinking about it now I see it wasn’t the best decision. Jesus, Callie I don’t know what you want me to say.”

S
he came out of the bathroom, eyes red and tissue in hand. “How about saying exactly what you are thinking because lately all I hear out of your mouth is ‘I’m fine’ and ‘I’m ok’ and it’s a bunch of bullshit,” she was a bit out of breath.

“I thought if I told myself I was fine I would believe
it. Callie you terrify me. What if you are the best thing to happen to me and I fuck it all up because there is a good chance that will happen. Then I won’t hurt myself, I’ll be hurting you. I have so much shit going on in my head and so many demons I’m still battling. I don’t date and I don’t do romance. It was never my thing. So yea, I left and was only coming down on the day I was lecturing. But staying away was so hard. All I thought about was what you were doing and how you were. I kept asking Ryan about you and he told me to man up. I couldn’t stay away any longer so I came back.” He was close to whispering now. “Callie, I am sorry. This is all new for me. I just don’t know what to do.”