The Morning After (20 page)

“Lord have mercy,” Essie moaned. “Is Reverend Owens still the pastor over there? Is he teaching y'all anything nowadays?” When Jennifer continued her oblivious pondering, Essie released a burdened sigh and continued. “Never mind, child. Don't have no aneurism trying to think of the answer. Just sit back and listen.”

Jennifer scooted back in her seat, embarrassed by her biblical ignorance.

“Sarah went and picked out one of her handmaids, and like a fool, gave that gal over to her husband. Told Abraham to sleep with the hired help and have a baby wit' her. Like that was gon' be the same thing as him having the baby wit' his wife. Like God needed her help to make His will come to pass.” Essie curled her lips and gave her head a slow shake, like Sarah had to be the biggest dummy in biblical history.

“So Abraham done just what she told him to do. Laid up wit' Miss Hagar and had a baby. And just 'cause it was done out of God's will, that boy couldn't be blessed the way the Lord intended to bless Abraham's seed. He had a plan for Sarah and Abraham to have a child out of their own loins, and 'til they did it like God said do it, they couldn't receive the blessing. And you know what?”

Jennifer didn't want to disappoint Essie again. “Sarah had a baby?” Her uncertainty resonated in her voice.

Essie laughed and clapped her hands at the same time, apparently pleased with her student's answer. “Amen. Sho' 'nuff did. When she got out of the way and allowed the Lord to have
His
way, everything worked it out just like He planned for it to happen in the beginning 'fore she stepped in and messed things up.” Essie's face turned serious. “Jennifer, you got to get out of the way, honey. You 'bout to destroy everything that God planned for your life and Jerrod's. The Good Lord don't need your help, sugar. He knows what He's doing. 'Fore I left to go join Ben,” she pointed upward as she spoke, “I taught you real good 'bout God's perfect timing. I told you that He had a time and a season for everything in our lives. But we got to be willing to wait on Him.”

Jennifer searched Essie's face in preparation to plead her case. “But Ms. Essie, I'm thirty—”

“And Sarah was
ninety
,” Essie cut in. “Age don't mean nothing to God. He knew what you wanted 'fore you even asked for it, chile. But just 'cause you asked don't mean He got to answer right away. Psalm 27:14 tells us to wait on the Lord. Sometimes God tests our patience to see if we really ready for the blessing that we asking for. And honey, you 'bout to fail big time. You so busy trying to play God that you destroying your son's life, and you on the verge of destroying yours too, by trying to put something together that wasn't never meant to be.”

Jennifer stared at Essie. What was she trying to say? “Are you saying that me and Devon weren't meant to be?”

“What in the world ever made you think you
were
meant to be?”

Jennifer had to make her understand. “Isn't he the obvious choice?”

“How so?” Essie challenged.

“We have a child together.”

“A child that he abandoned.”

“That was fifteen years ago, Ms. Essie.”

“Fifteen years and not a peep from him 'til now. Don't that tell you something, baby?”

“Yes,” Jennifer nodded. “Better late than never.”

Essie popped up from the sofa with the ease of a teenager. She walked the length of Jennifer's living room floor, and then returned to her original seat. “Think with your brain, girl,” she said. “My time is running out, and I need you to get this and get this fast.”

Shrugging, Jennifer asked, “Get what?”

“Father, help me,” Essie whispered the prayer through a heavy breath and with eyes turned toward the ceiling. She brought her sights back to Jennifer. “Where that boy been all this time?”

Jennifer suddenly felt dim-witted. She hadn't even asked Devon of his whereabouts over the past fifteen years. “I don't know,” she said, hating to admit it. “I guess he's been in South Carolina where he grew up.”

“You
guess
?” Essie looked at her like she'd lost her mind. “You 'bout to marry some scoundrel who you
guess
been living somewhere?”

The mounting feeling of stupidity didn't suit Jennifer. She squirmed again. “He's only been back in my life for a few days, Ms. Essie. We haven't had time to talk about all that.”

“But you done talked about marrying him. What kind of foolishness is that?”

“Ms. Essie—”

“Listen to me, Jennifer Mays, and you listen good. How did that boy find his way back to you?”

The last few days had been a blur. Devon's reappearance into her life had happened so fast that she had trouble putting the pieces together. “I . . . I don't know, really. He just called me up one day, out of the blue. He'd been looking for me for a while, and he finally found me.”

“Anybody believe that can stand on their eyelids.”

Jennifer ignored the sarcasm. “I don't have a reason not to believe him, Ms. Essie. I may not know all the details, but I know it was an answer to my prayer because I'd been talking to God about my situation. Telling Him that I wanted a husband, and Jerrod needed a dad. Then Devon called and—”

“And you just assumed that he was the husband and father that you'd prayed for,” Essie interjected.

“Come on, Ms. Essie. It's too much to be coincidental. You have to admit that.”

“Oh, it ain't no coincidence. You got that right. But I need you to think deeper, honey, 'cause the devil knows you were praying too. And he knows how to try to trick you into believing that this boy is your blessing, when he ain't.”

Jennifer's eyes widened.

“Timing, baby, timing,” Essie stressed. “Look at the timing. See, God's got perfect timing, but the devil knows how to make things look timely too. He knows how to counterfeit just about anything. He's an evil little trickster and you got to be watchful.”

Jennifer was even more confused than before. Her heart thumped in an off-beat fashion. She didn't know what Essie was about to say, but she knew it was something she didn't want to hear.

“What happened right 'fore that boy contacted you?” Essie asked.

“Uh . . .”

“
This
happened, that's what.” From nowhere, Essie pulled out a copy of the local section of last weekend's edition of the
Atlanta Weekly Chronicles
newspaper. On the front page of it was a photo of a smiling Jerrod and T.K. A photo they'd taken at Benihana on the day T.K. made the announcement of Jerrod's phenomenal speed on the track. The same day Jennifer thought that she'd be getting a proposal.

When Jennifer failed to make an immediate connection between the article and Essie's accusation, the woman spoke again.

“That boy don't love you no more today than he did near 'bout sixteen years ago, Jennifer, don't you see that? He didn't seek you out 'cause
his heart couldn't deal no more with being apart from you
.”

Jennifer winced. Those were almost the exact words that Devon told her when they met for their first reconnection date. He said that he'd been looking for her for years because his heart was bleeding after she'd been ripped from it. He blamed his parents, saying that they were the real reasons he couldn't be in her and Jerrod's life. But Devon claimed that since the age of twenty-one, when he moved out of his parents' home, he'd been searching for his long lost love and the child she'd had. Devon told her that he'd arbitrarily come to Atlanta, seeking a better job opportunity, and God allowed him to spot her name as he randomly opened the telephone book one day to look up the number for a job lead he'd been given.

“Lies, all lies,” Essie insisted like she'd heard those thoughts too. “This here is what brought that boy back in your life.” She tapped the newspaper. “He seen this and seen dollar signs. That boy been in Atlanta for years. This same newspaper, as well as the
Atlanta Journal-Constitution
, had plenty of stories in them when Jerrod was testifying at the trial of them boys who raped that teacher. You think Devon didn't know y'all were here? You think he didn't know that the Jerrod
Devon
Mays, son of Jennifer Mays, who was mentioned in all them articles was his boy? Yeah, he knew.” Essie placed the paper on the coffee table and slid it closer to Jennifer as if she needed a better view.

“You ain't told that boy one thing about Jerrod's track record,” Essie continued. “Am I right?”

Jennifer nodded her head slowly.

“Well then, how he know?”

“He doesn't,” Jennifer defended. “Like you said, I never told him. So this can't be the reason—”

“Oh, he knows,” Essie assured her. “When he was talking to Jerrod the other day, he said he was gonna make sure Jerrod stayed on track. Said he was 'bout to be a star. Remember that?”

Jennifer's mouth dropped open. She was right. He did say that.

“I sho' am right.” The thought-reader struck again. “Right as rain. Devon came back to you 'cause he knows that Jerrod's gonna be a famous track star. He's gonna make millions from endorsements and interviews. Devon knows now that what he gave up fifteen years ago was not only his child, but his blessing. It's dollar signs, not valentines, that brought him back to you, baby. He don't care nothing about you, and he don't care nothing about his son either. Not really. But he knows that the only way that he can reap the benefits of what Jerrod is about to bring to the table is to pretend that he loves you and wants to make an honest family out of y'all. And if he can convince you of that before Jerrod starts making the money, then he know he's in and it won't look like a scam. But believe you me, that's exactly what it is.”

All Jennifer could do was stare at the article with swelling tears and mounting regret. She wanted to second-guess Essie, accuse the old woman of not knowing what she was talking about, but deep down, she knew that every word of it was true. Devon was still the same smooth talker that he was as a teenager. She wiped away trickles of tears from her cheeks, ashamed of her own self. Ashamed that she wasn't able to see through Devon's mask. Ashamed that she'd so quickly left T.K., the one she truly loved, to follow a lie. Ashamed to know that her own selfish folly was the reason for her son's disappearance.

She sobbed. “What am I gonna do now? I've just messed everything up.”

“Yes, you have,” Essie agreed. “But one of the good things about God is that when you serve Him, you serve the One who can do anything but fail.” She chuckled and then added, “I used to hear the church folks say that God is the only somebody who can unscramble scrambled eggs. That means that ain't nothing too hard for Him.”

Between sniffles, Jennifer said, “I don't know if Jerrod will ever forgive me. Let alone T.K.” Her heart sank a little further at the thought of T.K. “He must hate me right now.”

“Child, didn't you just hear me say that God can unscramble scrambled eggs?” Essie clapped her hands again, rocking back and forth with glee. “If the Lord can put a black man in the White House, He can do anything. Who would have ever thunk it?” She stood to her feet again and used her hands to smooth out her dress. “If you pray and put your trust in Jesus, everything will be fine. Pray and wait. Remember those two things.” Essie sounded like she had no doubt in her mind. “Now, stand up and give me a hug. I gotta go.”

Jennifer rose to her feet and didn't hesitate to accept Essie's embrace, holding her as tight as she could. More tears fell. “Ms. Essie, I've missed you so much. Please don't go. Can't you stay a little longer?”

“No, child.” Essie pulled away and kissed Jennifer on the forehead. “Ms Essie's got two men waiting on her. Jesus and Ben. And as much as I love all y'all, I don't want to stay away from them no longer than I have to.” She wiped Jennifer's cheeks with the palms of her hands. “Now, I need you to do something for me, okay?”

Jennifer nodded, noting how smooth Essie's hands felt. Too smooth for a woman of her advanced years. They felt like hands that had never known work.

“First of all, you ain't got to tell Jerrod that you saw me. He feels my presence all the time, and I'm always wit' him, but my assignment don't include a visit with him. But I want you to give him a hug for me anyway; okay?”

Jennifer nodded. She only hoped she'd get the chance to hug her son again.

Essie pointed. “What I need for you to do is to get that there blanket to Elaine.”

Following the direction of Essie's finger, Jennifer noticed the blanket that Essie had finished knitting just a few days before she passed away. When Jennifer groped in the dark and pulled the cover over her before going to sleep, she hadn't realized that she was covering herself with the same pink and blue blanket that Jerrod had brought home from Essie's house.

“Get that to Elaine, now; you hear?” Essie reiterated. “I'm on a mission to visit all the daughters the Lord gave me, but in order for me to fulfill it, I need you to do that for me.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

Essie pointed toward the sofa. “Now, you lay on back down and finish getting your sleep. You got a whole lot of work to do tomorrow, and your first order of business is to get that devil that you let back in your life, out.”

Jennifer sat down, but still held on to Essie's hand. “But what about Jerrod and T.K.? I don't know where Jerrod is, and T.K. didn't even return my call when I told him that my son was missing. What am I supposed to do about them?” “Pray and wait,” Essie reminded her. “Pray and wait.”