The Mum-Minder (2 page)

He's been yelling all day. It doesn't half get on your nerves. It's given Mum a headache. She looks ever so white and tired. Hang on. I know what I'll do.

Later

Well I've made Mum a cup of tea. She's had a couple of aspirins too, though they don't look as if they're helping much. I've given Clive another bottle and he's got off to
sleep. I've sat on the sofa with the others and read them this story about Dominic the Vole. Dominic the Vole is fat and funny and he's always getting into trouble. (Very like my little sister Sara.) Gemma liked the story and wanted me to read it again, but Vincent got fidgety and Sara kept wanting to hold the book herself but when I let her she bit right into it. Dominic the Vole has got teethmarks across his bottom now.

‘You're being the childminder today, Sadie,' Mum said. ‘I'd better give you half my wages.'

‘Are you feeling better now, Mum?'

‘Yes,' said Mum, but she didn't sound sure. She sneezed suddenly.

‘You sound as if you're getting a cold, Mum,' I said.

‘No I'm not,' said Mum, and then she sneezed again. She blew her nose. ‘Just a little sniffle, that's all. I'm OK. I'll take over the kids now, Sadie. You can go out and play.'

Later still

I had a good game with my friend Rachel up the road, but I kept looking in on Mum. She looked whiter than ever and she was shivering. The babies were all being very boisterous. I knew Mum was longing to get shot of them all. Well, she's got to put up with Sara all the time, but that can't be helped.

Clive's mum usually comes first because her chocolate shop closes at half-past five. But she's going to a babywear party tonight so she asked
Mum to have him for the whole evening. And then Vincent's mum rang up and said the trains were up the spout and she'd be late getting back from the office to pick him up. And then, to crown it all, Gemma's mum phoned to say she'd arrested someone – she's a policewoman, you see – and she'd probably be an hour or so later than planned.

‘That's OK,' Mum said to Clive's mum and Vincent's mum and Gemma's mum.

‘But you don't feel well, Mum,' I said.

‘Us girls have got to stick together,' said Mum.

So she looked after all the babies. I put Sara to bed and then, by the time we'd got rid of Vincent and Gemma and at long last Clive, Mum said she felt so shattered she wanted to go to bed too.

She was so tired I had to help her undress and then I tucked her up under the covers and gave her a kiss.

‘You're being a mum-minder now,' said Mum.

WE DIDN'T GET
off to a good start today. Sara was awake half the night and Mum had to keep getting up to her. So she was so tired she slept right through her alarm and we didn't wake up until Vincent's mum rang the doorbell.

‘Oh no,' said Mum.

Something seemed to have happened to her voice overnight. She sounded more like my dad than my mum.

She stumbled downstairs in her
nightie, croaking to me to put the kettle on. Sara started yelling for attention so I put my head round her door.

‘Ook,' she said proudly.

She was standing up in her cot, hanging on to the rail, bouncing her fat little feet. She'd managed to unpop her pyjamas
and
her nappy. She suddenly stood still and started weeing, a look of wonder on her face.

‘Sara!' I shouted, and snatched her out of the cot but I was several seconds too late. It looked like the whole of Sara's bedding was going to have to go in the washing machine.

‘You're a bad girl. Poor Mum's feeling rotten and you're just making things worse for her,' I said severely.

‘Yup,' said Sara, and giggled.

I bundled her under one arm and went downstairs to see to the kettle. Vincent's mum was in the kitchen, stalking about in her high heels, looking a bit tetchy because we were in such a muddle. She was holding Vincent warily, not wanting him to dribble down her smart suit. Vincent is getting a back tooth and has turned into a human waterfall.

‘Sorry I overslept,' Mum mumbled. ‘Here, I'll take Vincent. You get off to work now, you don't want to be late.'

‘Yes, well, I have got this very important meeting this morning,' said Vincent's mum, but she looked
at my mum a bit worriedly. ‘Are you all right? You don't look very well,' she said, absent-mindedly slotting Vincent into the highchair in the kitchen.

Sara started shrieking indignantly in my arms. It's her highchair and she doesn't care to share it. Vincent started shouting too because his mum wasn't watching what she was doing and was bending one of his legs backwards.

‘I'm fine,' said Mum, unhooking Vincent's leg and taking the struggling Sara from me.

‘You don't
look
fine,' said Vincent's mum.

‘I've just got a little sniffle, that's all,' said Mum.

Vincent's mum didn't look convinced, but she had her important meeting so she whisked off sharpish.

Mum let Sara slide off her lap and rested her head in her arms.

‘I think you'd better go back to bed, Mum,' I said.

‘No, I'm OK, love, really,' said Mum. ‘Well, I will be when I've had a nice cup of tea.'

Gemma and her mum turned up while we were still having breakfast. Gemma's mum let me try on her police hat while she had a cup of tea too. I frisked Gemma and cautioned Vincent and made some handcuffs
out of tinfoil and captured Sara but she simply chewed her way free.

Mum had two cups of tea and said she felt much better. She didn't look better at all. She was white with black rings round her eyes, just like Sara's toy panda.

She was still sneezing.

‘Sorry about my cold,' Mum sniffed. ‘I'll try not to give it to the kids.'

‘You sound as if you've got a bit more than a cold,' said Gemma's mum. ‘I feel a bit mean leaving you to cope, especially as your mum can't come. But I've got to go to court this morning, so I've really got to leave Gemma with you.'

‘That's all right. We'll manage, don't worry,' said Mum, and she looked at me.

I sighed. It looked like I was going to be reading
Dominic the Vole
until I was blue in the face.

Gemma's mum pushed off and Mum crawled away to get washed and dressed. She tried putting on a
bit of make-up so that she didn't look so bad, but it just looked weird – white face, black eyes and bright red lipstick. Mum's nose was getting red to match because she was having to wipe it so often.

‘It's just a little cold. I won't breathe on the baby,' Mum told Clive's mum.

‘I think my Clive's got a bit of a cold himself,' said Clive's mum. ‘He's in a bit of a bad mood today. Got the grizzles and won't stop.'

‘Oh,' said Mum weakly, and rubbed her forehead.

‘Have you got a headache?' said Clive's mum.

‘Just a bit,' said Mum.

‘Are you sure you haven't got flu?' said Clive's mum. ‘There's a lot of it about.'