The Mum-Minder (6 page)

I palled up with the tealady and went all round the huge building with her, giving out all the cups of tea from her trolley. I could eat as many buns and biscuits as I wanted. I took Clive with me and whenever he got restless I just zapped him into a lift and took him for a quick trip up to the top and back.

When we'd finished the tea-round, the tealady took Clive over for a bit and I lay on top of the emptied tea-trolley, kicked off with my feet and went whizzing along the corridor. It
was better than the biggest skateboard. I nearly ran over Vincent's dad when he stepped out of his office but he managed to leap out of the way just in time.

He had a right cheek. Vincent's mum turned up at lunchtime, saying she'd got all her work done so she'd take us over for the afternoon. Vincent's dad acted as if he'd looked after us single-handed, and Vincent's mum said she was sorry and she thought he was splendid and when my mum was well enough to babysit she'd take him out for a slap-up meal to say thank you.

Vincent's mum took Vincent and Gemma and Clive and our Sara and me to a McDonald's for our lunch, which was great, and then she took us to a proper playground. Vincent's mum sat on a bench and did some of her paperwork while I pushed everyone on the swings and then we all sat in the sandpit and made sandcastles. Whenever anyone started crying, Vincent's mum bought ice-creams from a nearby van. We ended up having three or maybe it was four ice-creams, even Clive.

Clive wasn't the only one who was sick on the train going home.

MUM'S A BIT
better. She was worried when she heard about the argy-bargy between Vincent's mum and Vincent's dad.

‘I think I'd better get back to looking after all the children today,' Mum said, and she got up for breakfast.

‘Oh Mum, don't be silly. You still seem very fluey to me,' I said.

‘I certainly
look
a bit fluey,' said Mum, running her fingers through her straggly hair and rubbing her poor red nose. ‘But I still think it's time I took over. It sounds as if you're all running wild.'

‘Grrr,' I said, baring my teeth and making my hands into claws.

‘Grrr,' Sara copied, biting her breakfast banana very savagely.

‘Anyway, Mum, you can't take over today. We'll miss out on all the fun,' I said tactlessly. ‘I can't wait to go to Clive's mum's chocolate shop. Yum yum yum.'

‘Yum yum,' said Sara, slobbering.

‘Yes, that's what I'm worried about,' said Mum. ‘Sara was sick yesterday. I don't want her eating lots of chocolate today and getting sick again.'

‘It's OK, Mum. I'll look after her. I'm the mum-minder now and I'm supposed to be looking after you. So you go back to bed. You look all white and wobbly.'

‘I do feel a bit shaky. All right then, Sadie.'

‘That's a good mum,' I said. ‘Back to bed. I'll come and tuck you up in a minute.'

We both giggled because everything was back to front and it sounded so funny, me telling Mum what to do. I don't want Mum to stay ill, but I wish I could always boss her around!

Clive's mum could do with being a bit bossier. She's little, not all that much bigger than me, and I bet I weigh more. I know if I worked in a chocolate shop I'd grow very big indeed. It's such a wonderful shop. Just the rich, creamy, chocolaty smell makes your mouth start watering. Clive's mum showed us all round the big glass cabinets piled high with hazelnut truffles and white whirly creams, strawberry marzipans and violet fondants, sugar mice and chocolate teddies.

‘Can I have a chocolate teddy?' Gemma asked, reaching out.

‘Chocolate ted!' Vincent demanded, grabbing.

‘Choc choc!' said Sara, scrabbling.

‘No, wait a minute! You mustn't touch, dears. Gemma, put it down, darling. Vincent, no! And look at Sara, she's dribbling all over the display,' said Clive's mum, dashing from one to the other.

Clive decided he wanted his mum's attention for himself.

‘Oh dear. I don't know why he's crying, he's only just had his bottle,' said Clive's mum. ‘Look, Gemma dear, I don't really think your mummy would like you to have
another
chocolate teddy. Vincent, don't touch those chocolate boxes! Oh
dear, Sara. No, poppet, take it out of your mouth.'

I sussed out a stock-room at the back, with big empty cardboard boxes. I grabbed Sara and Gemma and lifted them into one box. It was more of a struggle with Vincent, but I eventually seized hold of him under the armpits and hauled him into the back room and caged him in another cardboard box.

‘You're all wild animals in the zoo,' I said quickly. ‘And it's feeding time. I'm the keeper and I've just fed you, right? You've got to growl back at me, grrrr, grrrr.'

‘Grrr,' said Sara, who was used to this game.

Luckily, Gemma and Vincent thought it was fun too. They gnawed their stolen chocolate and growled contentedly. Clive did his best to play, roaring magnificently. He was a little too young for a cardboard cage and he was only allowed the merest lick of chocolate, so I carried him round and round the shop to quieten him down.

‘You're such a good girl, Sadie. You've got them all sorted out in no time,' said Clive's mum gratefully. ‘Here, you'd better help yourself to a chocolate too.'

I rather hoped she'd offer me one. I wanted to show how grown up I am so I tried a liqueur chocolate. I was a bit disappointed in the taste. I hoped I'd get drunk. I started swaying about the shop experimentally and baby Clive chuckled, enjoying getting jiggled around. I decided to sober up, because I remembered what happened if you jiggled him too much. I also knew we couldn't let the children chomp chocolate all day long. When the wild animals finished feeding and started to get so restless they were breaking right out of their cages, I offered to take them for a walk on the common.

Clive's mum said she thought this was a wonderful idea but she didn't see how I could manage all the babies by myself. I suggested putting the two littlest in the double buggy and tying Vincent and Gemma with chocolate-box ribbon like a lead. Clive's mum
still looked doubtful, but then Clive's granny came into the shop to see how she was coping.

‘I'll take little Clive off your hands for an hour or so,' she offered.

‘We could all go for a walk together,' I suggested.

‘Oh no, dear, I don't think that's a good idea,' said Clive's granny quickly, but she wasn't quick enough.

‘Let's go for a walk,' said Gemma, holding out her sticky hand.

‘Me want to go for a run,' said Vincent, already at the door.

‘Walk! Run!' Sara insisted.

Clive joined in the general uproar, telling his granny that he wanted his friends to go with him.

She was stuck with us. She didn't really
do
anything. She just pushed the buggy while I kept tight hold of Gemma and Vincent, and then when we got to the common she sat on a bench with Clive perched on her knee.

‘You're free for a bit, wild animals,' I said, letting them go.