The Passion of Mademoiselle S. (3 page)

*1
As this is summer, it is likely that Simone is returning to Paris from a holiday, probably spent in the company of her family, either on the French Riviera or near Biarritz. Both were becoming increasingly popular holiday destinations, and at this time were mostly frequented by British people who had recently discovered the delights of the French coast and by the well-to-do French population.

*2
A great many women who had replaced men on farms or factories during World War I had been sent back to their households after the end of the war. The government was eager to help increase the birthrate at any cost after the catastrophic losses on the battlefield of 1,400,000 men, 27 percent of those aged eighteen to twenty-seven. Female workers represented only 30 percent of the total workforce at the end of the decade. However, there was nothing unusual about an upper-class woman working in an office in 1920s Paris. Women of the upper classes were pushing for equal rights and wanted more independence. A female baccalaureate had been established in 1919, and Simone might well have been one of its beneficiaries. In a letter (not included in this publication) she mentions her “little secretary,” which indicates that she was not herself a secretary, and we can guess therefore that her job was reflective of her social background and education. Perhaps she worked part-time in some family-owned business, which would explain the free time and liberties she seems to enjoy.

*3
It is worth noting that here Simone is referring to the telephone almost a century ago. At the time, Paris was one of the most modern cities in the world. The Paris Métro had been in operation since 1900, and the telephone had made its appearance before then. Charles Bonseul, the head telegrapher for the town of Douai, first revealed the principles of how it worked in an article called “Electric transmission of speech,” which appeared in
L'Illustration
in 1854. Granted, in 1928 the telephone was still the preserve of a small elite mostly from the aristocracy and the upper echelons of the bourgeoisie, but the city's first subscribers date back to 1881. Thousands of Parisians, then, had access to this means of communication that underwent important developments during the period of this love story, with the appearance in September '19 of the first automatic telephone exchange in Paris. From then on, subscribers had the iconic round-holed dial, which meant they themselves could dial the alphanumeric codes: three letters followed by a number.

Proust mentions the telephone in his writing, particularly in
Le Côté de Guermantes,
in which he describes a conversation with his grandmother. When referring to telephone conversations in his correspondence, he often uses the charming neologism “telephonage.” This gives us at least some idea of the circles in which our heroine lived, and although she is sparing with information about her social context, as confirmed by the quality of her writing and her style, there is no doubt that she belongs to a privileged class.

SATURDAY, 9:30 A.M.

My dear love,

I would rather bring a smile to your face. I would rather be wrong but, on the other hand, what wonderful peace and quiet after such a day!

So you were utterly happy in my arms, and my embraces were not a disappointment. I am so thrilled, my loved one, because you know that first and foremost I want to please you.

I may have succeeded in giving you a delirious climax, but, believe me, mine left me powerless and quite drained of strength. The severe spanking you gave me has prepared me for the ordeal ahead. Step by step, I am climbing to ever crueler heights and one day, very soon I hope, I shall reach a place where you can at last achieve the perverse sensations you seek.

Yes, my darling treasure, you did suck me well. Oh, the deep-seated raptures that flood through me when you use your tongue and lips, and passionately kiss my excited little button! These wonderful ministrations that you manage to sustain for so long are what I anticipate most eagerly, for they are the apotheosis of all the passionate attention you lavish on me. But in your arms I am always happy. I take pleasure nestling my head on your shoulder, and you wrap your arms around me so sweetly, pressing my skin to yours, that I wish I could spend hours like that, watching you sleep.

Darling Charles, I cannot write at greater length this morning for, alas, there are far too many things to stop me doing so, but I want you to know how very much you mean to me and how dearly I love all the things you do to me, even the cruelest.

Next time we meet I want to prove to you that I truly am prepared to suffer to make you happy, as that is your wish.

Delving into me with your eager tongue, bruising my buttocks with your impatient fingers, you were just as I remembered you when I was all alone back then. It really was with you that I was reunited, my dear darling lover. Did I pleasure you sweetly enough? Was it what you secretly wanted or were you disappointed? I do believe I felt a thrill of pleasure deep inside you when my tongue ventured softly, softly between the beautiful buttocks you offered up to me. Your cock strained and pulsated as my attentions grew more insistent.

And if you like the perverse ministrations I gave you, I shall always be happy to lavish them on you just as ardently. Yes, it really was exquisite feeling that impressive member while the whip strokes rained down on me. But next time, because you must never take me in a normal, ordinary coupling, I hope you will agree we should try that other way, and we can invent unexpected positions.

Oh no, we are still a long way from the limits of our fantasies. Till later, my dear darling. When can we make love to each other again, my dear darling?

With a gentle hug and frantic kisses on your lips and eyes.

Your Simone

Darling love,

You shall drive me quite mad, do you hear, quite mad with desire and pleasure. I did not receive your
pneumatique
till this morning. I found it when I arrived at the office. It only arrived at half past seven yesterday evening when I had been waiting for it with such wild impatience!

I was violently overwhelmed with thoughts of you last night in the warmth of this great bed that witnessed our first couplings. I found the place where you lay your body, I conjured you in my mind, so glorious in your masculine nakedness. I closed my eyes, the better to relive our every touch, and I was filled with furious longing for you, my darling love. My whole maddened, fevered body contorted, and I made the ecstasy of it last until my desire was simply too strong. And then slowly, softly, savoring every ounce of the boundless pleasure escalating inside me, I managed to create the illusion I was in your arms and it was your tongue stroking me lovingly. I had the wildest of climaxes but, alas, the truth was that I was alone and you were so close to me, barely a few yards away, but you had another woman beside you, and were perhaps fondling her at that very moment! Then I wept with longing, I called to you softly, softly, your darling name stirring shivers of pleasure that kept me awake for a long time on my solitary bed!

Dear love, do you realize just how much your body arouses me? Do you understand how utterly I am yours? I am your belonging, your very own thing, your toy, who now lives only to satisfy your pleasures and perversions, and all of me is now but an echo of your passions. I do not know whether it is I who has instigated all your perverted desires, but as things stand now, nothing matters to me besides your body, your touch, your kisses. You have
all of me
to yourself, do you hear, my only reason to live is to be in your arms, experiencing the shocking ecstasies that bind me to you with an inviolable bond. The bond of wildest passion and perverse sensuality, and I now do not know whether I could ever bear for another man to touch me because the memory of your embraces is so exquisite. Beloved darling, do not inflict on me the appalling pain of breaking away from me yet. Tell me our love cannot end yet, and that when you are far from me in the place that snatches you from my embrace, you will manage to keep yourself for your mistress whose arms will open wide in anticipation of your return. Darling, I shall suffer horribly while you are away. My longing for you will grow more violent every evening, and I shall have to wait three long weeks before you take me again! I love you, darling love, do you know that? I am very afraid I no longer love you merely with my senses. My heart is also succumbing to the bewitching charms of your whole lovely person. I can tell because I am jealous of the hours stolen from me! Darling beloved, hurry Saturday so we can forget everything that is not us. Yes, we shall climb to new heights of perversion, but perversion is so wonderful! It is quite shocking being transported irresistibly toward release by such voluptuous delight. Darling, we can still dream up different ways of pleasuring each other, we shall strive to reach a pinnacle of pleasure together. Would you like that? Our bodies will mold closely together so that no ounce of our flesh misses out on the ultimate ecstasy.

Take me, take all of me. Come inside me. Be happy in my arms. I love you.

Simone

My dear darling,

I was so happy this morning when I received your little note, and more particularly very happy to know how much pleasure I gave you when we were last together. You see, my darling, I am always so afraid you will grow weary of my touch, that your need for me will soon be sated. A man's desire, even with the most loving of men, is a fragile thing and there is always that fear that it will flicker out like a flame in a gust of wind.

And yet, my dear love, I shall try to keep you as my own for as long as possible, for I am now so very accustomed to you that I cannot conceive of a separation. I feel that should you leave me, a great chasm of emptiness would open up around me and I would be sad, appallingly so.

You have succeeded in binding me to you with all the perverted charms of your caresses. Look how you proved what happiness you could afford me on Friday! I was happy in your arms, my dear beloved, so happy. Of course I suffered, but at least I could be sure that your pleasure outstripped my pain and, I hope you understand, this certainty would have seen me endure many more ordeals. And did you not reward me for my docile acceptance? Oh, the joy of feeling your pulsing cock probing into me! You skillfully kept me waiting for that exquisite moment, and your passionate attentions drove every inch of me wild as I cleaved helplessly to you. I wanted your flesh, but you surrendered your entire body to me. Did I succeed in making it thrill as you had hoped? I myself experienced the profoundest joy as I kissed every morsel of your flesh, even the most intimate parts.

My dear love, what a strong bond holds us to each other now! Our shared vices bring us closer together than any normal lovemaking, which, I feel quite sure, would have given us both a sense of incompleteness, of unfulfilled pleasure. Don't you think we are happier like this, darling? The ardent sensations we experience together transport us to an otherworldly plane; we are gliding high above ordinary lovers who can never reach the extremes of pleasure that only couplings like ours can achieve.

My loved one, nothing can stop us now. Together we can scale the heights of madness, hand in hand, savoring every kind of forbidden embrace, let no pleasure remain unknown to us for that is how we love each other. I would like you to tell me all your thoughts, I should like to know if there is something else you want. Do you want to love me in a different way? Would you be happier if you could experience the normal kind of coupling with me?

Answer me, dear love. I love you.

My most intoxicating caresses all over you, wherever you want them.

Simone

MONDAY, FOUR O'CLOCK

My darling love,

If you only knew how happy I was to see you again! I wanted to take you in my arms, hold you deliriously to my heart that is so full of you, and passionately stroke every inch of your body, which so tempts and lures me. Oh, the delicious vertiginous feeling that swept through me when your lips brushed over mine! I wished that kiss would never end…I was so frantic to see you again, my loved one, after such a long separation, and now we are to be separated once more. But before that we shall share many hours of madness because now you are utterly mine…When I saw you again I realized how very dear you are to me, and I know how ardently I shall caress your beloved body, which stood so close to mine this morning that I could sense its every contour.

My love, you did not seem to notice that I was maddened with desire, but if only I had held you to me, what follies I would have committed! I would have kissed you frantically, your chest, your stomach, your thighs. I would have found your cock, so soft and warm. I would have taken it between my avid lips. I would have sucked him slowly, slowly, and felt him throb and grow in my mouth. Then I would have ventured lower and round the back, in the brown cleft between your charming buttocks, I would have found that sensitive place, and my tongue and lips would have given you all the caresses you so love. I would have tasted your most intimate flesh with such voluptuous delight, and I so regret that I cannot penetrate you as you penetrate me. I want to press my skin against yours, to roll my body on your palpitating flesh, leave no corner of your being virgin to my touch. I should like to invent goodness knows what couplings to make you cry out with unsuspected pleasure, to harvest from your scorching lips words of erotic delirium, to watch you swoon with delight in my arms…Oh! Darling, I do so love you…Could you doubt it? You have sown such vices in my blood, and I now want the wildest of couplings, like no other. I love you, I love you like a rutting animal. I want to feel you penetrating my being, deep in my flesh. I want to come like a wild beast to your caresses or your blows. What does it matter to me? All I truly want is to love you, to love you, to give you pleasure with my fevered body, which so wants to own you. My beloved lover, my little god, why are you not here to soothe this furious desire mounting ever higher, and driving me helplessly toward you? Hasten Saturday, I want to suffer, I want to love you. I shall suck you, and rub you, and love you…Oh, Charles! I am going quite mad with longing, I can bear it no longer. Every part of me aches as I cleave desperately to you. Till this evening, my loved one. I adore you. I love you. I want you.

Simone