The People in the Park (11 page)

“Wait,” he said. “I want to ask you something.”

I turned expectantly.

He waited until he had my full attention before blurting out, “Let’s go hang out on the Square.”

“OK,” I said.

The Square is what we call downtown Fairfield. It is a favorite hangout spot for teens. The town is shaped in a square with a green area in the middle with fountains and a gazebo. Wooden benches are spread along the path amidst the greenery.

I drove Mom’s car and followed Jay in his car. We used to hang out on the Square all the time with our friends. We parked at the ice cream parlor and walked across the street to the fountains.

The afternoon air was chilly so not too many people were around. Jay could see I was getting cold so he put his arm around me. It felt good. I almost forgot that we weren’t together anymore.

“How can we fix this?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I said. I didn’t know if I wanted to fix it.

“How about this?” Jay pulled me into his arms and kissed me. All my resolve melted. I kissed him back with everything I felt for him.

“So, are we OK now?”

I didn’t say anything. A war was going on inside me. I tried to fight my feelings for him, yet I remembered the good times.

“Let’s go to the prom together,” he said in that low voice that he used only with me.

Needless to say, I was floored. And tempted. “Prom?”

“I know I made a mistake when I told you we should take a break,” he said, his words flowing quickly and smoothly. “Pops says your Dad isn’t going to be charged now…”

Jay continued talking, but I didn’t hear him.

So! His parents had given him the OK to date me again since the word was going around that Dad would be cleared. Didn’t he realize that I needed him more when my world was blowing apart? Now that our family was getting back on solid footing, he wanted to pick up where we left off.

He could be seen with me now that everything was over. As much as I still cared for him and still wanted to go to the prom with him, the bigger hurt was that he thought I would just fall back into the old routine as if nothing had happened to separate us.

I didn’t answer him. Instead, I ran back to my car and locked the door. He ran after me and tugged on the handle to no avail.

I opened my window a crack. “We are definitely not OK!”

The nerve of him!

22

A couple of days later I was hanging out at the food court in the mall with my friends. We made plans for the prom and talked about guys. I told them about Jay now wanting to take me to the prom. They couldn’t believe his gall.

Soon talk turned to my newspaper story on the recession. Suddenly everything went quiet when I told them I was having trouble finding students to interview.

“What?” I asked.

“You can interview us,” Melanie said.

“But you haven’t been affected by the recession,” I countered.

“Our mother lost her job about a month ago,” said Stacie. “Her contract wasn’t renewed.”

I turned to Callie. “What? You didn’t tell me.”

“You had your own problems,” Callie said.

“Now that you are back to being yourself, you can handle it,” Melanie said.

“Was I that far out there?” I asked.

“No more so than either of us would have been if our lives had been splashed all over the media for everyone to see,” said Callie.

Wow! I’d missed something so important to my friends when they had been my rock through everything. The scandal. Jay. No prom date. Everything.

“Don’t feel bad,” Melanie said. “You had a lot of things going on.”

“But I could’ve been there for you, like you were for me.”

“It’s all right,” Stacie said. “It’s not like we’re destitute or anything.”

She was definitely right. Her family’s funds hadn’t been frozen. I’m sure they had savings, stocks, and other investments to cushion the loss of income.

“OK. Well I’m back,” I said, taking out my notebook. “How has the recession affected your lives?”

“The first thing to go was the country club membership,” Melanie said. “Now we can only go there as guests of Callie.”

“It’s great that Callie is our friend,” said Stacie. “We still swim there and play tennis. The only thing is that we had to stop our golf lessons.”

“Mom informed us last night that we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year,” Melanie said.

“She said we aren’t going to Aruba or Greece or Madrid like we had talked about,” Stacie said. “Instead we’re having a staycation. We’re staying home and visiting places in Kansas City and surrounding areas that we haven’t visited. And she’ll be job hunting. But we want to stay in Fairfield, so I think she’s going to start her own consulting business.”

“And the biggest thing is that I had to get rid of my car,” Melanie said. “Dad said since we go to the same school we only needed one car between us.”

“Now I have to think about her when I have nothing to do after school, and she has to stay late for a meeting,” Stacie said.

“And to save money we have breakfast for dinner sometimes, like last night we had pancakes,” Melanie said.

“Well, the biggest thing for me is that I don’t get to shop at my favorite stores. Instead I shop at outlet stores.” said Stacie.

“And we’ve had to get jobs so we can have spending money,” Melanie added. “I do babysitting in our neighborhood.”

“And I tutor kids in our neighborhood,” said Stacie. “Their parents are also cutting back and don’t have to pay for high tutoring services anymore, they just use me.”

I wrote furiously, trying to keep up with the twins. They talked incessantly, and they talked fast. When I came up for breath, I said, “You don’t seem too broken up about it. You are so cheerful.”

“Why be sad? There’s nothing we can do. It’s the economy,” Melanie said. “Therefore, we might as well make the best of it. Stacie and I can work to earn money. We’re going to have to go to work one day. We might as well start now.”

“Besides,” Stacie said, “we’ve had months of being around you and watching you. What you went through, we went through. So when our time came to cut back for real, we could do it easier I think than if we hadn’t been around you.”

“Gee, thanks,” I said. “I’m glad I could be of service.”

“You know what I mean,” she said.

I nodded my head, remembering my state of mind for the past few months. “I know.”

“You should talk to Mr. Dawkins, your physics teacher. I hear his house is in foreclosure,” Callie said.

“The article is supposed to be about students. Give me some more names, I’m not sure I can talk to him about that anyway,” I said.

“If he’ll talk to anybody, it’ll be you,” Callie said. “Regardless of what people are going through, they know you have gone through much worse.”

I had been through a lot, but I really hadn’t when compared to others. People like Julie Kim’s whole family could collapse. It was my Dad’s face that was plastered all over everywhere. He was the damaged one, not me.

23

I went into Dad’s office and closed the door. Dad, surprised, beckoned me in. I sat across from him.

Without any preamble I poured out my heart about Julie and her family. He listened attentively.

I ended by saying, “I’d like to give Julie $500 from my housing fund. It would greatly help her family until her father gets another paycheck.”

“Kitten, this is why I hesitated in telling you about the funds,” Dad said. “The funds aren’t piggy banks. They can’t be used for every little thing that comes up with your friends.”

“Julie is not a friend,” I said. “Her family needs help.”

Silence.

Dad and I stared at each other.

“Please, Dad,” I said. “It’s important to me.”

More silence.

Dad leaned back in his chair, pondering.

“This one time you can help Julie and her family,” Dad said. “I want to preserve the principal for what it was planned for. Your house.”

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do,” I said. “I’m hoping that when the time comes to buy a house, I can get it myself.”

Dad chuckled. “I know you can do anything you want to do. Pardon me for trying to make life easier for you.”

Dad handed the checkbook to me. “Make it out to your mother. We’ll cash it tomorrow and give you the money so you can give it to Julie.”

As I was getting ready for bed Mom walked into my room without knocking. She had the check in her hand.

“Why are you giving this girl money?” She asked with disdain.

“Julie’s family needs our help. Her father isn’t working.”

“Neither is your father!”

“Mom. They need food. Do you want me to raid the pantry and give them ours?”

“Don’t you dare! They don’t need our help. They can go to the food pantry.”

“They can’t. In her culture it is a shame to ask for handouts.”

“Too bad. They’re just going to have to get over it.”

“Mom. How can you be so cruel?”

“I’m just telling the truth.”

“Dad says it’s my money, so I can give Julie some if I want to.”

“We’ll see about that.” Mom held the check between both hands and tore it down the middle.

“Stop!” I ran towards her. “Stop!”

“Get away from me, girl!”

Shocked, I stepped back.

Mom came towards me with her hand raised.

“I am your Mother. You are going to respect me. I am not your father. He lets you holler at him because he feels bad about this situation. But you are not going to raise your voice to me, young lady.

“I don’t know what has gotten into you. You’ve been hanging around your white friends too much, your friends who talk back to their parents. I’ll knock you into kingdom come! Get out of my sight before I smack you!”

I was speechless. Mom had never talked that way to me. And she certainly never acted like she was going to hit me.

Dad’s light was on in his study. I wanted to go talk to him but I didn’t want to upset Mom further. Instead I went outside.

It was after midnight. I had nowhere to go. So I sat on the steps with my hands propping up my face. The night guard came over to ask if I was all right. I nodded. He went back to his post at the foot of the driveway.

I wonder if Mom would’ve really hit me.

24

Dad handed me an envelope.

I looked inside. Five one hundred dollar bills. No words were spoken between us. But he knew what Mom had done.

I felt my attitude shifting as I drove to the park. My mind wasn’t on nature, the swirling river, or the tiny buds on the trees signifying that spring was near. My mind was on Dad and my newfound wealth. I had money. In my name. More than the savings account that I knew about and rationed so carefully.

We weren’t down-and-out as everybody thought. I could see the pitying eyes in school from my teachers and fellow students. I was somebody to be avoided outside of class, except for my friends who weren’t ashamed to be with me. If Jay’s family knew we still had money they probably wouldn’t have made him stop seeing me and our prom plans would still be on.

My school counselor, Mrs. Wells, had even called me into her office to tell me about financial aid our school offered for college application fees. She even told me that her door was always open, to come talk to her if I couldn’t deal with my ‘changing family financial situation.’ I politely thanked her and left her office. College was the last thing on my mind at the time. Now Dad had told me I don’t have to worry about college. I could go to any college I want.

So much to think about. My mind was swimming with all this information. Dad’s first priority was me. He looked out for my future. It sort of made up for the shame I felt about this whole situation. But even knowing I had money in several accounts didn’t make up for the emptiness I felt in my heart.

****

I saw Julie sitting on a bench, but she wasn’t crying. I sat beside her.

“Thank you,” she said. “I got food for my family. We’ve had real meals this week. My little sister was especially happy. She hadn’t had a full stomach in a long time. Daddy didn’t even ask me where I got the money. He only wanted to know if I dishonored our family in getting it. He was grateful we didn’t have to starve. He has an interview today in Columbia. They seem to really want him. They have been calling for a couple of weeks, but he didn’t have gas to get there. He was too proud to tell them. It’s funny how things can turn on a dime. You gave us money, we could eat, and Dad has an interview. He can go.

“I had been praying for something good to happen for my family, but after a while I stopped. It seemed like I was wasting my time. But you giving us money was God’s answer. Now I’m going to keep praying that God will bless my dad with this job. You were part of the plan.”

I didn’t know what to say. I just did it on the spur of the moment. I didn’t feel like part of a plan. I just wanted to help.

I placed the envelope in Julie’s hand.

“What’s this?” she asked, opening it and counting the money.

“Just something to help until your dad gets his first paycheck.”

“This is $500 dollars! I can’t accept it. It’s too much. Your family might need it.”

“This is from my savings account,” I said. “I want you and your family to have it.”

Julie looked at me. “Are you sure?”

I nodded. “I just want to help.”

“Thanks.”

Even though Julie was grateful for the money, I still had a hard time asking her this question. It wasn’t until it was time to leave for school that I got up enough courage to ask her.

“I’m writing a story for the school paper on how the recession is affecting students at our school. I’d like to interview you for it. If you don’t want to do it, I understand. I wouldn’t use your real name if you don’t want me to. Can I use you in my story?”

She didn’t say anything.

“I didn’t give you the money because of that. In fact, I didn’t know I was going to do the story when I saw you a few days ago. After talking to you, I realized I should do the story. Several people out here have talked to me about their ‘Moment of Shame.’ I learned that there is life after shame.”