The Perfection of Love (10 page)

I sighed and then let go.  Saz wasn’t around, Mills was all diplomatic and objective when you needed to have a rant, which was not helpful, so Lana was the next best thing.  “There’s this man at work and he knows he’s good looking which he flaunts everywhere but he’s directed his attentions on me for some reason.  He says it’s because he was drawn to me through my papers which he read while he was at work.  Oh, yeah, he’s from America which just makes him extra irritating as fuck!  And he just won’t leave me alone.  And he’s in my office taking over my space, but then he brings me my cappuccino because I might have missed breakfast.  How does he even know I like to have a hazelnut shot in my coffee?  That’s borderline stalking.  I just don’t like him!”

Lana was howling with laughter down the phone.  “What the hell is so funny?”

“You finally fucking fancy someone!  At last!  I really thought you were going to turn lesbo on us.  , Tara, Mara, Saz, Mills and I had a bet going.  Mills won that pot.  You need to let her know by the way.  So what you going to do? Let him take you on your desk?  Oooohhhhhh that is so hot, saucy and romantic.  Or maybe let him cook you dinner.  He might take you to his place and cook you dinner, then ravish you in the bedroom.”  She was positively squealing down the phone.  For all Lana’s whorish behavior occasionally she gave the impression that she was a romantic deep down.  An erotic romantic but a romantic all the same, however at this moment I was not appreciative of this characteristic.

Saz was always the first one to get excited.

“I’m glad you, the rest of my sisters and my so called best friends were taking bets on my life but you know what?  You are not bloody helping me right now!”  I let out a huge sigh.  I was frustrated, tired, hungry and possibly more than horny.  Not a good combination.

“Dana, what do you want me to say?  You haven’t been with anyone since Mitchell.  I understand that the bugger did a number on you but you need to move on with your life and let someone else in.  This guy who is interested in you now, has a job, pays tax and by the sounds of things is hot as fuck judging by the way you’re not even forming your sentences properly.  Why not give him a chance?”

“I’m just not ready for that Lana.  I’ve got a mad amount of work to get through for my PhD.  I’ve got Jakey to take care of.  I just haven’t got the time or the inclination to deal with another man in my life right now.”

“Blah blah blah.  You know that’s all I heard right?  You’re always on top of your work so that excuse is rubbish.  Jakey is more than taken care of.  He’s got me for an awesome aunty, he doesn’t even need you! HA! Finally, you’ve eventually got to give a guy a chance.  He might be the one for you, he might not but you at least got to let him try and prove himself to you.”

“Lana, just no.  I’m not ready and that’s the end of it.”  I was seriously just tired now.  Lana was exhausting.  She may have been slightly right with the things that She said which was past annoying to acknowledge but essentially I had to move at my own pace.

“Just so we’re clear.  You’re telling me you’re not going to give hot man a chance?”

“No, Lana.”

“Ok.  I’ll chat to you later.  See ya.”  And like that she was gone.

Home. Spend some time with Jakey.  Bath with candles then bed!

CHAPTER EIGHT

I was feeling pretty good on Wednesday.  I had more than enough sleep and my
God I had enjoyed my dreams.  This time I embraced Deacon’s naked body in them and my oh my, was I rewarded!  I wasn’t surprised to see my office door open, Deacon probably wanted to pick up our work where we left it yesterday.  We both agreed that we wanted to get our plans in place by the end of the week.  What did surprised me was the female giggle that came from office and the pang of jealousy that quickly followed.  That was until I recognized the laugh.  She wouldn’t!

Sure enough, Lana was sitting in my office chair with her legs crossed and cocked up on my desk.  She raised her eyebrow as I walked in.  Her smirk was supersonic.  Deacon was sitting on my office sofa.  Whatever they had been laughing about must have been good because his face was slightly pink and he was still chuckling to himself.  I was not jealous that my sister had made him laugh.  That my sister was sitting in my office like a dominatrix, making Deacon laugh after I had told her I wasn’t interested in him, no it did not bother me in the slightest.  Shit.

“Hey, baby sis.  I haven’t seen you or spoken to you in ages so I thought I would pop down and say hello.  You don’t mind do you?”  I was going to slap that fake innocent face of hers so hard when we were alone.

“You could have called like a normal person.  This is where I work.  You can’t just come in like this.”

“Oh, come now, Dana.  You know Colin doesn’t mind.”  I rolled my eyes at that comment.  Last year I brought Lana to the annual winter ball for the university.  All was going perfectly well until the end of the ball when I was looking for Lana.  I gave up and went back to our hotel room only to find Lana and Colin in a position on MY bed that is firmly etched into my mind.  In Lana’s defense, Colin had told her that he was divorced.  The hell he was!  He was married with two kids still at home.  He swore Lana and myself to secrecy and she flaunts her little one up on him any time she decides to stroll into the university and find the best way to annoy me.  “Anyway, I’m here now.  What fantastically boring stuff are we going to be doing today?”  Lana was clapping her hands like a seal and Deacon was still chuckling.  She needed to go now.

“Dana, did you just growl at me.”  Lana was beyond amused now.  She knew exactly why I was irritated and there was no way she was going to leave now.

I sighed and accepted how this day was going to go.  A day filled with Lana-isms.  “We’ve got a project to structure before Friday.   Get out of my chair and go sit on the sofa.  You…” I was now pointing at Deacon, “get to your desk and get on with some work.  Actually.  Where’s my coffee?”

Deacon burst out laughing at this.  A full laugh with teeth and his whole body shaking.  It was a beautiful sight and my heart warmed just a little.  “Yes ma’am.  I do like this bossy side of you.  Feel free to be this way more often.”  With that he left the office.  I turned my full attention to Lana once he was gone.

“What exactly are you up to?”

“Moi?  Dear sister of mine I have no idea what you mean.  Anyway your work is boring.  Apparently I have something called a job that I need to get back to.  I don’t appreciate you taking up my time.  I’m going.  See you Sunday, my lover.  Give Jakey kisses from his sexiest aunty.”  With a wink she was gone.  Days like this you seriously had to consider the fact that she might be crazy or she was definitely up to something and I seemed to be at the centre of it.

“Is your sister gone?”  That better not be disappointment I hear in his voice.  I narrowed my eyes in his direction.  His smile faltered then came back full force.  “Are you jealous that I was talking to your sister?”  The amusement laced in his tone and infuriated me beyond belief.

“I have never been jealous of my sister.”  Stupid lie.  “What goes on between the two of you is your business.  You’re both adults.”  Outrageous lie.  “If you want to sleep with the world and its mother, I really couldn’t care less.”  You better not look at another woman in my presence if you want to keep your face pretty.  “So let’s stop wasting time on topics that don’t concern me and get on with some work.”

“Ok.  Let’s do it.”  I could tell he was stifling a laugh but I didn’t look up from my screen at him.  God.  I needed help.

We continued to work for the rest of the day without any mention of Lana which was fine by me.  We actually got a lot done which meant I left for home on time.  Jakey and I had dinner together which I always treasured.  He was growing up so fast and I worked so much that I was pretty sure I was missing out on a lot of things in his childhood.  At bedtime he read to me which I always enjoyed.  Pops had taught me to read.  He read to me every night until I could read for myself.  I had envisioned that the same would happen when I had my children, however Mitchell had made that an impossible dream.  When he finally fell asleep I flopped on my sofa with my glass of wine and tried my best to relax.  Deacon was getting under my skin and Lana’s visit hadn’t helped.  Add that to being a single mum and trying to run a house by myself and I was wound so tight I thought I might explode.  It was nights like this I wish I was coming home to someone who would hold me and make me feel like my problems weren’t worth my worry.

I must have fallen asleep on the sofa because I was startled when I heard a scream coming from Jakey’s room.  I ran in to see him sitting up crying.

“What’s wrong, baby?  You have a nightmare?”  I brushed his sweaty sandy blond hair away from his face and held him close to me.

“Yeah.  I remembered when we were in the car.  The night we went to Aunty Mills’ house and daddy was kicking the car and screaming at you.”

My heart broke in two.  The whole time I had been with Mitchell I’d tried my best to shield Jakey from what went on between us but I wasn’t always successful.

****

We were coming back from visiting Mitchell
’s parents down in Devon and he was tense.  He was always tense after seeing them.  Mitchell’s mum was lovely and kind and even though his dad was quite stern he still managed to have a sense of humour.  All wasn’t what it seemed with them though.  Mitchell and his dad had gone out for the day to go and get some tools for a repair to the garage that his dad needed to do.  They were going to stop off at the pub to watch a football match before they came back so I was staying with Mitchell’s mum and Jakey.  Jakey had convinced his grandma to bake a big cake for when his dad and granddad came back so she was reaching on top of the kitchen cupboard when I saw her wrists.  They were covered in bruises.  Dark violent purple bruises.  Some of them were green and yellow which mean they were old.  I gasped.

“What’s wrong, dear?”  Mary turned her head to see that I was looking at her wrists.  She quickly got down off her stool and pulled her sleeves down her arms.  “I’m so clumsy sometimes.  You just wouldn’t believe.”  Her smile was small and fake beyond belief.  She knew I didn’t believe her but she was hoping.

“Jakey, go and play in the living room for a second.”  Lucky for me Jakey listened the first time and went off.  I pulled up my sleeves and showed her my matching bruises.  All the blood drained from her face and she burst out in tears.

“I thought he would be different.  I am so sorry, Dana.  I thought I’d done everything I could so he wouldn’t be like his father.  I’m just so sorry.  When did this start, Dana?”  I could barely make out her words over her sobs.

“Before Jakey was born.  He stopped for a while when I was pregnant but it wasn’t for long.”  I began mentally beating myself for not leaving the first time it happened.

“Dana, I love my son with all my heart but if Mitchell is even remotely like his father then you need to leave him.  Take your Jakey and go before his father taints him like Mitchell.”  She returned to getting her mixer down from on top of the cupboard and that was the last thing she said.  The house felt tense for the rest of the weekend and I didn’t know whether it was just all in my head because of what I now knew.  When we left she gave me a kiss on my forehead that conveyed everything she had said earlier and told me to take care of myself and Jakey.

Mitchell didn’t speak for the whole journey home.  I was glad for the silence and pretended to sleep for the whole time.  When we arrived home Mitchell parked the car outside our house and killed the engine but didn’t get out of the car.

“What were you and my mother talking about this weekend while me and my dad were out.”  His tone was suspicious.  He either knew or already or had an idea.  So what do I do?  Tell the truth which will probably not only earn me a backhand but get his mum hurt as well or lie and hope he swallows it.

“Nothing much.  As usual our conversations revolved around Jakey.”  I added a small laugh to back up what I’d said.  At that point he got out the car and rather than take my seat belt off I followed him with my eyes.  My heart was beating so hard I thought it was going to come out of my chest.  He came over to my side of the car and crooked his finger to beckon me out the car.  Shit.  My hands were shaking.  I couldn’t get my belt undone even if I wanted to.  I finally managed to get the belt off when he ripped open the car door and grabbed me by my hair pulling me to the floor.  My head smacked the concrete floor and it wasn’t long before I felt his boot in my ribs.