The Perfection of Love (11 page)

“Why do you lie to me, Dana?  I give you a chance and you lie to me.  Why?”  He was shouting so loud.  I never understood how no one never heard or did they and just decide they couldn’t even bother to call the police?  He kept kicking me and now I could hear Jakey screaming from the car.  I needed to get us out of here.  I was done.  There was no way I was going to become Mitchell’s mother.  Thirty years down the line and going through the same shit.  I needed a plan.  In Mitchell’s fury he’d dropped the keys.  I needed to get them and get in the car.  If I could just hold on he’d stop and start pacing.  That would be the point he’d reason with himself that I was stupid because I was young and that’s why he needed to show me not to fuck with him.  Right on cue the final boot came to my face and he walked off just as the keys fell from his pocket.  Thank you, Lady Luck.  I silently grabbed the keys and dragged myself to the car.  Once I was in I slammed the door and locked them all.  Mitchell turned around his eyes were blazing.  I scrambled to get into the drivers seat.  Mitchell was now attacking the car.  He was trying to kick the wing mirrors off and then moved to kicking in the back lights.  I could hear Jakey’s fear in his cries and I wanted to soothe him but I needed to get the car moving.  I put my foot down and the car screeched as we flew down the road.  Eventually Jakey fell asleep and I prepared myself for the reaction of my family.

****

By the time Jakey had fallen soundly asleep it was 4am and I was beyond exhausted.  There’s no way he could go to school but I still needed to go to work.  I’d call his school and let them know he wasn’t coming in.  They were aware of my situation with Mitchell ever since I had to notify him that we had a restraining order against him.  I sent Deacon an email letting him know that I’d be in late and sent Mara a text asking her to look after Jakey.  She was the only one of my sisters that could work from absolutely anywhere.

CHAPTER
NINE

When I finally got in to my office at noon, I was still shattered. 
Jakey had been quiet when he woke up and wouldn’t talk to me about last night.  Deacon wasn’t at his desk, which I was glad for.  I felt like shit.  I could feel tears bubbling beneath the surface and I really didn’t need him to see that ugly mess.  I picked up my work from where I left it yesterday and made a start.  An hour later I heard laughter coming down towards the office.  I instantly recognized Deacon’s voice and also the bubbly giggle that seemed to be entwined with his.  Miranda Collins, one of the drama tutors.  She was nice but she was irritating as hell.  Why was he walking with her?  I was definitely not jealous.  We’ve got work to be doing and he’s busy being social.  I heard them getting closer so I buried my nose in my work and tried not to acknowledge their presence for as long as possible when they both came through the door.  Didn’t she have words to go interpret and prance around to?

“Oh, Dana you’re in.  Sorry Miranda.  My mistress is back so I’ve got to do some work.  See you around.”  With that Deacon dismissed her.  Miranda looked confused and I was struggling to keep the corners of my mouth from twitching from a smile.  I kept my face glued to the screen even as I heard the door close softly.

“Is everything alright with you, Dana?”  Deacon was directly opposite me at the edge of my desk.  I glanced up at him.  God, he looked good today.  Nothing sexier than a man in a grey suit.

“I’m fine Dr Greenwood.”  I guessed he was referring to me coming in so late.  “I just had to sort something out at home.  I can stay late today if we need to catch up on work.”

“I don’t think we’ll need to.  I think we’re pretty much ahead of where we need to be and let’s not forget this is a study that’s going to take a while to complete.”  He sounded hopeful at the last part.  “Would you like me to go grab you a coffee?”  I think he could see that I wasn’t ok and I really wasn’t.  Him being kind was not helping and I didn’t have the strength to battle with him today at all.  It was too late the tears were starting to fall.  I was trying to stem them with my fingers and think about something, anything, to stop them falling.  Deacon was by my side in second and had my head cradled against his chest and it felt good.  It felt so damn good.  I took in his scent and the hardness of his muscles.  I could literally stay like this forever.  He was so warm and the way his hands were caressing me soothed an ache in my heart.  It had been so long since I had taken comfort in a man’s arms.  Mitchell had stopped being intimate with me long before I finally escaped him.  I was pretty certain he was sleeping elsewhere but to be honest by that point I really didn’t give a shit if it meant he wasn’t at home.  “Dana, what’s wrong?  Please tell me.  If I can help I will.”  And like that the spell was broken.  What was I doing?  Nothing will ever happen between Deacon and I and now I was giving him the wrong impression on top of embarrassing myself and crying like a little girl in his arms.  I needed to get out of here.  This day is a write off.

I gently pushed Deacon away and wiped my eyes while I stood up.  “I’m sorry Dr. Greenwood.  I shouldn’t have come in today.  I’m going to go home and work from there.  You can reach me by email.”  I turned off my computer and picked up my bag not meeting his eyes the whole time.  I walked past him and was thankful that he didn’t speak.  The tears continued to flow as I walked out of the university.  I needed a big tub of Carte D’or Cinnamon Waffle ice cream now.

I felt like such a fool for crying in front of Deacon so I sent him an email making my excuses and said that I would see him Monday.  I knew he wouldn’t believe me but I was not going to explain my life history to him.
  I worked from home for the rest of the day and Friday and decided to take a break for the weekend.  It was Ma’s birthday meal on Sunday and I still needed to buy her a gift and help with the decorations.  Party may have been a slight exaggeration of what was happening.  Ma always liked things small so basically it would be  my sisters and I, Jakey, Pops and maybe Saz and Mills if they could come.  So Sunday roast with balloons.

When Sunday came I was running late as usual.  The day Jakey and I get out of the house on time would be the day hell freezes over.  We had almost got there on time until I realized I’d left the birthday cake on the kitchen table and had to turn back.  By the time we got to the house I could hear that everyone was already there.  Pops opened the door and immediately took the cake from me as he ruffled Jakeys hair.

“Hey sprog.  Hey Jacob.”  Pops kissed the top of my head.  He called me sprog because I was the youngest and was also usually the brat out of my sisters and I.  He never called Jacob, Jakey.  Pops believed he needed to man up quick since he was outnumbered by females in our family.  I heard laughter coming from the dining room and then above that I heard a loud bellow of laughter.  I knew that laugh and that laugh should not be in my family house.  How the hell had he infiltrated my family?  Lana.  I stormed into the dining room to see Deacon being fawned over by Tara, Ma, Saz and Mills with Lana looking on at them with self-righteous glee.  Joe was here as well and he was laughing right along with Deacon.  Lana was at complete ease as usual with her legs resting on Joes lap.  Only Mara wasn’t laughing not that that was unusual.  What was weird was that her hair looked slightly disheveled.  Mara was always immaculate in her appearance, not a strand of hair out of place.  Something was up with her but I had no time for that at the moment.

“What are you doing here?”  I’d been brought up to be polite and show good manners to everyone but this had pissed me right off and I was in no mood to feign politeness.  Would you believe Tara and Ma crowded into him like lionesses protecting their cub?  The bastard had charmed them and sucked them in.  Lana looked at me and wiggled her eyebrows.  “You, I’ll deal with later.”

“Dana, wherever you dropped your manners, you go right there and pick them up.  Deacon is a guest.  Lana invited him.  Now take a seat.  You’re late.”  Ma used the same tone she used on us when we were girls and we’d been caught swearing at each other.  I took my seat but not before glaring at Deacon who looked delighted with himself and giving Lana death daggers which I hope she realized meant that I was going to kill her later.

Dinner proceeded as normal, the only difference being that rather than us all pigging out like a normal Sunday in front of the tv with a beer, we all sat at the table and we had prawn cocktail as a starter and apple pie for dessert.  My whole family was addicted to the drug that was Deacon Greenwood.  Even Pops who didn’t much like any man that wasn’t family coming to our house was talking with him and laughing.  Deacon rattled off stories about his life and the things he did when he was at home.  Once he mentioned that he loved wrestling and football even Jakey turned traitor and was talking with him.  Jakey took after his granddad in that he wasn’t that fond of outsiders on a normal occasion.  I often wondered if it was genetic thing or a consequence of the things that happened between me and his dad.  Either way this had no bearing on what I was witnessing right now which was an intense debate between Jakey and Deacon about who was the better sportsman?  John Cena or Van Persie.  What a stupid conversation.  I was knocking back the wine and was pretty sure I’d gotten through a bottle of rosé all to myself and was now starting on the bottle of red.  I was absolutely seething.  I didn’t want Deacon here and I most certainly didn’t want my family growing attached to him.  Mara began to clear the last of the plates which meant dinner was over which also meant that Deacon could now go.

“Dinners finished Deacon.  Feel free to leave now.”  I think I slurred most of that.  Not my finest hour.

“Dana stop being so rude.  And in case you’ve forgotten he’s my guest and I don’t want him to leave yet.”  Lana batted her eyelashes in Deacons direction.

“Why don’t you go and stick your nose into someone else’s business.” I spat at her.

I heard somewhere in the background Pops tell Jakey, Joe and Deacon to leave us to it.  Something about us hating each other for five minutes but if they interfere we’ll hate them for fifty years.  Joe and Jakey knew the drill when an argument started but I was guessing this was some new kind of fresh hell erupting from Deacons viewpoint.

“You’ve got your pretty little head stuck in the sand Dana just letting life flit by you while you wallow in self pity.  Enough already.  You got burned big time.  I get it.  We all get it.  But you need to wake the hell up and see what’s in front of you.  That man you insulted likes you.  Really likes you and he’s more than half decent but you won’t even let him get a look in.”  Lana was not playing now and was shouting right back at me.

“Mind your own business Lana.  Sort your own fucked up love life out before you start getting into mine.”  I was absolutely fuming now.  The buzz of the wine had well and truly burned off.

“Dana, none of us are trying to interfere we just want you to be happy and maybe take a chance on someone else.”  This time it was Saz trying to reason with me and I don’t know why I said what I did but it came out of my mouth anyway.

“You know what?  The last person to get involved in my love life after I specifically told them I wasn’t interested in the guy in question was you.  And guess what, I ended up with Mitchell.  So if I seem a little cautious or I’m not moving with a pace that you agree with, thank yourself for that because your name is stamped on that fuck up.”  Saz looked liked I’d slapped her.  I knew she felt responsible for what happened between Mitchell and I.   She had apologized to me over and over again when she knew what had happened and I used it her against her.  I was still so wrapped up in my anger I couldn’t tell her sorry.  The room had gone dead silent and I used it as an appropriate moment to turn and head to my old bedroom.  I flung myself across my bed and buried my face in my pillows.  I was so confused and my head and my heart were hurting.

It wasn’t long before there was a sharp rap on the door and then I heard Pops’ voice.

“Sprog, is it safe to come in?”  Pops never knew whether he’d walk in our rooms and find us crying or hurling things around after one of our arguments.  I felt sorry for him.  It couldn’t have been easy living in a house full of women.

I sighed and rolled over, looking up at the ceiling.  I used to stick my posters of the Backstreet Boys on there so I could watch them before I fell asleep.  “Yes, Pops.”

“How you feeling Sprog?”  He sat down on the bed beside my head.

“Like a fat cow.  I shouldn’t have said what I did to Saz.  I know she still feels awful and I just rammed that all down her throat.  What kind of a friend am I?”  I was beginning to cry now which usually sent Pops running to get Ma but he stayed where he was .

“Not a very good one.  But you’ll find her, you’ll apologize and you’ll make things right between the two of you.  Now what are you going to do about that nice man downstairs?”  I could feel Pops’ eyes burning into and I wasn’t about to meet them because I didn’t know what I was going to do.

“Pops I’m not interested in dating.  Deacon is going to be here for five minutes before he needs to get back to his practice anyway.  There’s no point in entertaining such a silly notion as a relationship between the two of us.”  I didn’t even sound convincing to myself and by the huge snort that Pops made, I wasn’t convincing him either.