The Price of Freedom (17 page)

He had not actually promised to
free them right away but at least he had said he would think about it and he
had already planned to free them in his will. She didn’t trust William though
so she could not afford to rely on that.

She pushed open the door excitedly
and latched it behind her before she rushed into the back room.  The
moonlight was streaming through the small window and she could see that Deborah
was
lying
awake waiting for her.

“Deborah, girl, I have good news.
The master said that he plans to put in his will that we are to be freed when
he dies, but I told him that we don’t know if William will do that, so it would
be better to free us now.”

“What did he say to that?” Deborah
asked sitting up.

“He said that he would think about
it.”

Deborah did not want to get her
hopes up. She would have to see it before she would believe it. She could see
no benefit to the master if he freed them, especially when he could sell them,
make some money and keep the mistress quiet at the same time. Could he really
be trusted to free them or was he just telling her mother what she wanted to
hear?

Richard and his uncle retired to
the office after dinner as they had become accustomed to doing. His uncle
poured brandies for them which they enjoyed in contemplative silence.

They had come to enjoy this time
together when they talked about the workings of the plantation, the issues
facing the colonies and plans for the future or sometimes just sat in silence
as they did now. For Richard it was what he would have liked to have with his
father while Thomas felt the same with respect to William so without the two
even being conscious of it, they were becoming as close as father and son.

The sound of crickets in the yard
hardly penetrated their consciousness until it stopped, probably at the passing
of the stable boy or one of the house slaves.

“You become so accustomed to the
crickets that you don't notice them unless you really listen carefully or
unless they fall silent for some reason," Richard commented breaking the
silence. His uncle nodded.

"It’s almost like a
wife," joked Thomas. "Their constant harping can become like
background noise until you're forced to really listen to them. That whipping
Deborah had has forced me to listen to Elizabeth. She is adamant that I sell
Deborah and Sarah and to tell the truth her constant nagging is beginning to
wear me down.”

“As I said, I would be happy to
buy Deborah if you decide to sell her, although I’m sure that is not what Aunt
Elizabeth has in mind.” His uncle agreed.

“What would you do with her when
you go back to Carolina?  Take her with you?”

Richard thought for a moment. He
couldn’t take her back to Carolina with him; that would cause too much of a
furor from his mother, not to mention his fiancée.

“No. As you can imagine that would
cause all kinds of trouble.  Once I satisfy this hunger that I have for
her and get her out of my system, I would set her free before I go back
Carolina.”

“I wouldn’t put money on getting
her out of your system,” warned his uncle. “I still haven’t got Sarah out of
mine after nearly eighteen years and I’m having a hard time contemplating
selling her. I don’t know what it is about these slave women but they just seem
to get into your blood. I will go ahead and get my lawyer to prepare the papers
to sell Deborah to you for, shall we say, £20?”

“That is very generous of you,
since I know that you could get three times as much for her if you wanted to.”

“Not at all my
boy.
  Besides she can continue to work in the house while you’re
here so we’ll have the benefit of her services but she will be under your
protection and looking after your needs will be her first priority.”

“I like the sound of that,”
Richard smiled in anticipation. “Shall I tell her?”

“I will do it.  After all she
is my property as well as my blood.  Be good to her,” warned Thomas.

This was the first time Richard
heard Thomas acknowledge that Deborah was his blood and it was totally
unexpected.  Such things were never mentioned or acknowledged, although
they were commonly known.

“On my oath, sir,” Richard replied
solemnly. Thomas nodded satisfied.

A few days later Cassie came to
the kitchen to report that the master’s lawyer was meeting with him in his
office and she had heard them through the door talking about selling a house
slave but she didn’t hear who it was. 

Her words struck fear into
everyone as they knew that in spite of the mistress’ verbal abuse from time to
time, The Acreage was one of the best plantations to work at and no-one wanted
to be sold into a situation that was worse.

“I hope you heard wrong, Cassie
‘cause ‘better the devil you know than the devil you don’t’,” said Sarah. She
loved all the house slaves, even Hattie was growing on her, and she wouldn’t
want any of them to be sold. She knew it wouldn’t be her or Deborah. After all,
the master was thinking about freeing them.

“That’s not always true,” Cassie
corrected her. “Don’t forget what I came from.  I was so happy when I come
here.  You wouldn’t understand because you have it good here.”

“Well a devil is still a devil,”
Deborah contended.  She had a bad feeling about this.  She wondered
if the mistress had finally convinced Master Thomas to sell her. Fear started
in her belly and became full blown panic when a message came a little later that
the master wanted to see her in his office.  Immediately she started to
shake.  Sarah hurriedly got up and came to hold her.

“Don’t worry; you know that the
master would never sell you.” Deborah wasn’t convinced but she nodded as calmly
as she could.

Shaking legs took her to the
master’s office where she stood outside the door for a minute before she
gathered her courage and knocked.

“Come in,” he invited. It was the
last thing she wanted to do.

Pushing open the door she said,
“You wanted to see me, Master Thomas?”

It appeared that the lawyer had
left because he was alone, sitting behind his desk with papers in a neat pile
in front of him. His hair looked as if he had been running his hands through it
and his unaccustomed disheveled appearance caused her further panic. He was
going to sell her.  She knew it as certainly as if he had said it already.
The mistress had finally got her wish.

“Yes Deborah. After your whipping,
which Richard thankfully stopped, I realize that I need to do something to keep
the peace in the house so I have decided that the best option is to sell
you.”  At the stricken look on her face, he hurriedly held up his hand.

“Don’t worry.  It is not as
bad as it sounds.  I’m selling you to Richard and you will continue to
live here and look after his needs while he is in Barbados so you won’t be
separated from your mother.”

Deborah hardly heard what he was
saying. A myriad of emotions began to chase around her mind.  Disbelief
that the master was selling her, hurt that she was nothing more to him than
property, anger that Richard had gotten what he wanted, fear of what it would
mean for her and then contradictorily, relief that it was Richard and not one
of the lecherous old planters.

“You’re selling me to Master
Richard? How will that help to keep the peace? Will he take me with him when he
goes back to Carolina?”

“He will let you know about that.
I’ve had the papers drawn up and it’s only for him to sign now. He wants to
talk to you before he signs them though so I’ll leave him to do that.” 
She was in a daze, numb at the thought that the master would sell her.

“I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t
think he would be good to you.  I would trust him with my life and I trust
him with yours.”

Deborah was shocked at the
betrayal that she felt in spite of his words.  She never thought the
master would sell her; after all she was his flesh and blood.  She had
fooled herself into thinking that it meant something to him.  She almost
laughed at herself; she had thought she was special. Now she knew that she was
just another slave even though his blood ran in her veins. Tears sprang to her
eyes and she quickly turned away lest he saw them. So much for his promise to
think about freeing them; she should have known better.

“You might not think so now, but
this is the best thing for you,” he consoled.  Deborah didn’t see how so
she said nothing.

“OK, you may go now.  Richard
will talk to you later.”  She blindly turned away and practically ran to
her grove, not caring that it was the middle of the day and she had chores to
do. What more could they do to her now? She was just exchanging one master for
another.  She remembered Richard’s words when she told him that he would
never own her.  He had said “Don’t be too sure about that!” And he was
right.  He owned her, or he would soon enough.  Freedom was as far
away as it ever was. She buried her face in her hands and wept.

Richard found her there half an
hour later, still distraught. The sight of her misery unexpectedly touched his
heart and made him want to hold her in his arms as he had done that day by the
whipping post, but he knew that she would reject his comfort this time. He
dropped down next to her, leaned back against the tree and looked out at the
view.  Immediately she shifted until there was distance between them and
dried her eyes, adopting a stoic expression.

“You know there are many women who
would be happy to be owned by me?” Richard provoked. He was glad to see fire
flash in her eyes and she snapped, “I’m not one of them! I don’t want to be
owned by anyone!”

“Well unfortunately for you, you
will be owned by me so you’d better adopt a respectful tone before I beat you.”

Her head swung around to him in
shock. “You wouldn’t!” She didn’t seem as certain as she sounded.

“No I wouldn’t, Deborah. Listen, I
have a proposition for you. I have promised to pay my uncle £20 for you, a real
bargain I might add, but I have told him I will free you when I leave
Barbados.”

Once again shocked eyes met his,
this time with a glimmer of hope in them.

“I don’t believe you!” she
accused.  “Why would you do that?”

“I can’t take you back to Carolina
with me, for obvious reasons.”

“What is your proposition?”

“While I am in Barbados you will
come to my bed willingly whenever I call for you provided, of course, you are
not indisposed.”  At this Deborah blushed furiously giving away her lie.

“You lied!” Richard accused her
now as he saw the guilt on her face. He had to laugh at her quick thinking and
he knew, without a doubt that he would not be bored for the remainder of his
time in Barbados.

“You expect me to prostitute
myself for my freedom?”

“Well it’s a lot better than dying
for your freedom, do you not agree?”

“That is a matter of opinion,” she
said so softly that he could barely hear her.

“Why is sleeping with me so
appalling to you? Surely you are not innocent of the intimacy between men and
women?”

She was silent for so long that he
thought she would not answer him.  When she finally spoke, her voice was
hard.

“No.  Your cousin brutally
introduced me to it when I was sixteen. He had been eyeing me for months and
enjoyed taunting me like a cat with a mouse and then when he got tired of his
game, he pretended to be ill one night and asked for me to bring some tea to
his room and then he took what he wanted. He always got what he wanted. 
And he wanted me.”

Richard was shocked at the surge
of anger that erupted in him at the thought of William violating her.  If
his cousin was in front of him now he would be hard pressed not to beat him
senseless.
Although he was already clearly without sense.
Snatches of conversations dropped into his mind and the pieces began to fall
into place.

“Is that why he was sent away?”

“Partly, but I think he was in
trouble with some merchants in town as well.”

“Deborah, I would never hurt you
in that way.  You can trust me.”

She was torn.  Could she
offer herself willingly to Richard in exchange for her freedom?  It was so
tempting.  She now mocked herself for judging the women who sold
themselves for the money to buy their freedom.  Would she be any different? 
Could she give up her self respect and the rights to her body for her
freedom?  Was she willing to pay the price? Then again she didn’t have any
rights to her body now anyway.  He could buy her and just use her at his
will if he wanted to. He didn’t even have to buy her; he could have her for
free as long as the master gave his permission.  So why was he buying her?

Freedom beckoned to her.  It
was what she’d always longed for, what she’d always dreamed of and now it was
within her reach.  All she had to do was give
herself
to him willingly.  That was all. That was all.