The Price of Freedom (19 page)

Saturday dawned with a clear sky
that promised a truly beautiful day.  The beauty and peacefulness of the
morning contrasted sharply with the nervous churning of Deborah’s stomach as
she contemplated the night and what it would bring.

It took them little time to pack
their meager possessions, much of which was cast offs from the household. 
Soon that will change, she told herself, if the nephew could be trusted to keep
his word.  She remembered the look in his eyes as he asked her to trust
him and felt assured that she could. But what would she do when she was
free?  She had a little money saved but it wasn’t enough to buy a property
or start a business.  Would he give her some money to start out? She
hadn’t considered that in her agreement.

After Jethro and the stable boy
came to take their things over to their new room, she washed her hair before
heading out to the grove to dry it and spend some time alone. Her life was
about to undergo a major change; in fact the change had already started. It
felt strange to think that the master no longer owned her, but Richard did
instead. 

Never would she have imagined that
happening when she had heard the master reading the letter from him a few
months ago. Had he only been here for a month?  Why did it seem so much
longer?  It was as if he had come to the plantation and just fit in as if
he belonged and had always been here.  Now she would belong to him, not
just by means of a legal document but by his possession of her body. Her
stomach churned again.

She couldn’t help but remember the
night that William had lured her to his room and the pain and shame that she
had endured. She was not afraid that Richard would be like William for he had
had opportunities where he could have taken her against her will and he had
not, but that didn’t stop the dread she felt as the day grew older.

She had accepted his proposition
and it was too late to back out now.
Her body for her
freedom.
  She acknowledged that it was more than just her body she
was giving up; she was giving up her pride, her beliefs and her self-respect.
She knew that it was wrong. He was not her husband and he was betrothed to
another. But it was worth it for her freedom, wasn’t it? She could do this for
two months; go to him willingly when he called for her. No real harm would be
done.

Would she be required to pretend
that she enjoyed his attentions?  Was that part of their agreement? Just
two months, sixty days. How many times could he call for her in that
time? 
Surely not that many.
And then she would
be free.

Deborah took a leisurely bath in
the bathhouse on Richard’s instructions, a luxury that had not been available
to her before and her mother helped her into the green dress.  She put up
her hair as she had worn it at the party and took a deep breath to steady her
beating heart. She was being prepared like a bride for a wedding but this was
far from the joining of two lives, this was simply the joining of two bodies.
Shame swept through her that she had agreed to this until she ruthlessly pushed
it aside and reminded herself that it was for her freedom. She was prepared to
pay any price for that.

“You look real pretty,” Sarah
complimented her. “Don’t worry, you know that Master Richard isn’t like William
and anyway Hattie only had good things to say about him.”  That was
supposed to make her feel better?

She felt awkward. She didn’t know
what to do.  Should she go up to his room and wait for him or should she
wait until he called for her. Who would he send?  What time was it
now?  Had they finished eating dinner? She could eat nothing because of
the knots in her stomach.

A knock at the door made her jump
nervously. It was Cassie telling her that Master Richard had asked her to come
up to his room in a few minutes. She squeezed Deborah’s hand comfortingly and
said, “He’s a good man, don’t worry.”

It was all very well and good for
them to say but that didn’t stop the trembling that had started in the pit of
her stomach.

Cassie stayed a few minutes to
chat with them, telling Deborah that Hattie was not too happy with her for
taking her place with Master Richard and that the mistress didn’t look too
pleased when Master Richard sent her with the message but the master had smiled
and slapped him on the shoulder.

“Girl a few
minutes gone.
  You better get upstairs.” She said getting off the
bed to head for the kitchen to finish her chores.

Deborah looked at her mother, took
a deep breath and walked out the door.

The walk to Richard’s room seemed
to take a lot less time than she remembered. Before she was ready, Deborah
found herself standing outside the thick mahogany door and she raised her hand
to knock. She heard a chair push back and before she could gather herself, the
door opened and Richard stepped back to let her in.

She stood awkwardly, unsure of
what to do. Should she greet him? Should she wait for him to say something? Why
did she suddenly feel so shy when she had spoken boldly to him on many
occasions?

“You look even more beautiful
tonight.” He took both of her hands in his and drew her further into the room.
Two lanterns were turned down to give the room intimate lighting which made her
feel more comfortable than the stark brightness of William’s room that night.

“Would you like a drink?” He indicated
a bottle of wine and two glasses which were on the desk.

“Yes, thank you.”  She was
glad for any excuse to delay the inevitable. 

She couldn’t help but admire his
grace as he crossed the room and how well he filled out his black jacket and
breeches.

He poured a small glass of wine
for her and a larger one for him. She had tasted wine only once before and she
couldn’t really say that she had liked it but now she was glad for the
fortifying drink which she sipped.

Richard knew that he wasn’t doing
justice to the fine wine as he drank it in a few gulps and quickly drained the
glass. He couldn’t believe Deborah was finally here in his room and he was
eager to be with her. After all, he’d done nothing but imagine this for the
last two nights; in fact longer than that. Taking the glass from her hand,
although she had barely tasted the wine, he put it on the desk and drew her
closer. He could feel her shaking.

Gentle fingers unwound her long
plait and freed her hair from its confines until it streamed down her back.

“Beautiful,” he said as he buried
his fingers in her hair. “And mine.”

William’s words came back to haunt
her but were quickly banished as Richard bent his head and kissed the side of
her neck and nibbled his way across to the pulse that was beating frantically
at the base of her throat.

Raising his head, his eyes focused
on her lips which were stained with the wine, making her instinctively lick
them. Taking this as an invitation, Richard sipped at the each corner of her
mouth and then slowly stroked her sealed lips with the tip of his tongue,
tasting the wine he had barely allowed her to drink. Deborah shivered in
response and parted her lips obediently.

His hand at the back of her head
urged her even closer and he slanted his head to one side as he tasted each
delicious crevice that he discovered.  Deborah was drowning in sensations
that she had never felt before and her hands crept up to his shoulders for
support lest her knees give way.

Of their own volition her hands
reached up to tangle in his hair.  This was the first time she had
voluntarily touched him, any man for that matter, and she found that the
sensation of her fingers in his hair was pleasurable.  He obviously felt
the same way as he shuddered, giving her a feeling of power that she didn’t
know she had.

His kisses became more demanding
and Deborah found herself giving all that he silently asked for. When he drew
back they were both breathing as if they had run a race.  Deborah lowered
her head to his chest in shame. She couldn’t believe she had kissed Richard
like that and enjoyed it.

“Your mouth is as delicious as I
imagined it would be,” he whispered huskily.  Deborah cringed in
embarrassment.  She wished he wouldn’t say these things to her.

He lifted her chin and she found
herself staring into eyes that were no longer navy blue but black with
desire.  She would have looked away but he held her chin and said: “You
have nothing to be ashamed about.  Desire is natural and beautiful when it
is pure.”

Distracting her with intoxicating
kisses, he sought the buttons at the back of her dress and with an expertise
she could only imagine how he came by, he soon pushed the dress from her
shoulders. Before she had time to be embarrassed at standing before him in her
undergarments he kissed her again, bringing her hands to his chest and
encouraged her to unbutton his shirt.  He quickly shrugged off his jacket
and shirt and stood before her clad only in his breeches.

When she innocently explored the
hardness of his chest and his muscled back, he sucked in his breath and pulled
her into his arms, burying his face in her fragrant hair.  She marveled at
how right their embrace felt.

“Beautiful,” he said again
hoarsely and she gloried in the fact that he was so affected by her.

He picked her up in his arms and
gently deposited her on the bed which was as soft as she remembered from the
last time.  This time however she didn’t try to escape; she moved over to
make room for him as he peeled off his breeches and joined her, pulling her on
top of him so that she felt powerful and in control.

She bent her head and boldly
initiated a kiss which he soon became the master of. Rolling her over he pinned
her under his heavy body but she didn’t feel any panic, instead she welcomed
his weight and tangled her legs with his.

Richard drew back and took a
breath to steady
himself
and slow down the pace. 
He did not want to rush this but Deborah was making it very difficult. It took
all his strength to control his desire to lose himself in her but even more
than the physical release he craved, he wanted to erase the horror of her
experience with William.  His greater desire for their first time together
was to create a memory so beautiful that it would stay with her long after he
had left.

Richard held Deborah in his arms
as her shudders subsided. He languidly smiled in satisfaction against her
hair.  Deborah was amazed that being intimate with him could be so totally
different from what she had experienced with William.  The memory of that
violation was now firmly banished from her mind by Richard’s gentle touch and
patience.

Now that the ecstasy had faded she
began to feel ashamed at her response and that she was in his bed.  This
wasn’t the consummation of a marriage, she was his slave and she was in his bed
in exchange for her freedom.  Funny how easily she had forgotten that with
the caresses of his hands and mouth on her body. The truth was as shocking as a
bucket of cold water in her face.  She struggled out of his embrace and
turned her back to him in an attempt to hide the tears that now trickled from
her eyes.