The Problem With Heartache (28 page)

Tony stood next to me as I watched from the side of the stage, my clipboard to my chest. After three songs, he finally spoke. “You must be Kate.” His vision didn’t once waver from the boys. If I hadn’t been so very aware of his presence, I wouldn’t have known he was talking to me.

“You must be Tony.” I reversed his treatment, only I looked up at him just in time to see a fleeting smile pass over his face.

“You know, Lee pulled a lot of strings to get you this job.” He clapped politely as a song ended, in complete contrast to the screaming of the fans in the crowd. “We had many candidates, but only you would do.”

“Oh.” I swallowed. I’d known he was doing me a favour, but I hadn’t really gauged how big.

“And I can’t help but wonder why, under your watch, he’s been caught punching a guy and causing a public ruckus when he’s never done anything even remotely like that before?”

Now Tony’s steely eyes bored into me, and I shivered.

“I … I have no idea, sir.” The courtesy escaped me before I could reel it back. “Tony. Sir.”

“The two facts aren’t related?” He folded his arm and his gaze stripped me to the bone. “Him, squeaky clean. You, new, and damage control has to be brought in.”

Something stirred in me at that, and I felt the need to defend myself. “Aren’t the strippers pretty new, too?”

“Yes.” Tony swallowed. “They are, but they’re different.”

“Why?” I challenged, this time folding my own arms across my chest.

Something like trouble crossed Tony’s face, and for a moment I wondered if he might be human after all. “You’re unique. Lee … Lee told me that he thinks you’re a smart kid. He listens to you.”

The rest of the set was spent in silence, but I couldn’t help repeating the three things I’d learnt from that conversation in my head, over and over again.

Lee went to a lot of trouble to hire me.

He hadn’t been in trouble of any kind before; and if anyone would know, it’d be Tony.

Lee thought I was smart and listened to me …
me.

I still thought he was a jerk. But something about that made me feel far too good.

I
SAT
there, staring at the note I’d been writing, wishing the right words would come.

But they didn’t. No amount of hope could fix what I’d started.

Dear Kate,

I am so fucking sorry. Nothing will make the way I spoke to you okay; it was just unacceptable. And I can’t believe I did that to you.

But you know what? True to form, you stood up to me. You didn’t take my crap. And once again, it made me realize that I’m a dick. Because the one real person in my life, the only individual who isn’t afraid to tell me how it is—the one person who understands me like no one I’ve ever met—is you. And I don’t want to blow it.

And that was where I was stuck. Because what else could I say? Where could I go from there?

Five sharp knocks rapped on my hotel room door and I stood up to answer, folding the letter and putting it in my back pocket as I went.

I jerked the handle and pulled the door open, then immediately wished I hadn’t. I didn’t know how I’d managed to avoid her for two days, but I had.

Clearly, all good things had to come to an end.

“I can explain—”

“Explain what, exactly?” Lottie spat, her arms folded across her chest, pushing up her more than ample cleavage. “Explain how you were involved in a punch-up in a public restroom, right in front of my son?”

I swallowed and opened the door wider, gesturing for her to come in. She stormed through the room then stopped at the window, staring at the strip below, hands on her hips. “Lee, I told you when I took this job, I wanted to protect him from this …” She gestured to the street below, then turned to face me. “… this way of life.”

“I know.” I closed the door and sat on the couch, elbows on knees, head in hands. This was all one colossal fuck-up. “I’m sorry. If I’d known you guys were in there—”

“You would have what? Scheduled your fight for later?” Lottie threw her arms out to the side, but I didn’t miss the sheen of a tear glistening in her eyes.

“I got caught up in the heat of the moment. There were photos, Lott …” I trailed off. “Of Jay, and Kate and me. At the water park.”

Lottie’s hand flew to her lips. “What … what kind of photos?”

I looked back at the plush carpet, unable to meet her gaze. “His hat had flown off in the wind. I’m sorry, Lottie.”

When I finally looked back up, her face was white, her hand still firmly against her lips. “I knew … I knew I couldn’t keep him from it forever. I just thought …” And with that, she fell to her knees, her head in her hands, sobs shaking her body as if she were a baby. “He’s the only good thing in my life, Lee.”

I stood and went to her, awkwardly placing an arm around her frail shoulders. “I know. I know.”

“I wanted to protect him from everything—from all this.”

My hand rubbed her back, and I swear, I could almost feel every bone of her ribcage. I wondered if she were eating as much as she should be. It sure as shit didn’t feel like it. “At least it was Kate and me, not you and me.”

Lottie stilled.

Then she turned on me, menace flashing in her eyes. “How dare you try and presume that just for one moment, I’d want someone to think that she was the mother of my baby, that you were the father? Jay is
mine
, Lee.”

I stepped back, reeling. What the hell would make her think I wanted to take him from her? I gave her this job so she could
keep
her kid.

I tried to formulate a logical sentence but ran out of time for words. Lottie pushed to her feet and stormed out of the room.

I flopped down onto the floor, staring at the stark white ceiling again, hoping for answer.

Fucking women.

W
HEN
I finally saw the boys alone at the after-party I pounced, like a moth to a flame.

“How’d it go?” I asked Michael, not wanting to meet Lee’s eyes. I still wasn’t sure if he was mad at me or not.

“Fine,” Michael grumbled. “But we’re on warning.”

“What does that mean?”

“That everything can be taken away from us at the drop of a hat.” Xander flashed a dark look in Lee’s direction, then pushed himself up from the seat. “I’m going to the bar.”

“Is he okay?” I looked between Lee and Michael.

“What do you think?” Lee snapped.

“I think you’re being an arse,” I replied, placing my hands on my hips.

“I think I’m going to the bar.” Michael bit his lip and made an awkward exit.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” I placed my hand on Lee’s arm but he shrugged it off, running a hand through his hair. “Seriously, Lee. This seems really out of character for you. This …”

Lee glanced around furtively from left to right, then grabbed my wrist and pulled me into a dark corner beside the bar. We were in another roped-off club area, and the regular patrons couldn’t see us here, behind the large palms and sound system in front of us.

“I’m not a bad guy.” There was an earnest appeal in his eyes that had my heart convinced.

“It’s none of my business what you do in your free time, but the things I’ve seen … you gave me a job to help me and my family out.” I swallowed. “And I know you’ve done nice things. Michael told me about the guy with cancer, and …” I shook my head.

Lee took a step closer to me and brushed his hand over my arm. His touch felt safe. His touch felt warm, and I leaned in inadvertently.