The Problem With Heartache (5 page)

“I—”

“And I know you don’t want to hear this. But Lachlan … he’d want you to be happy. You can’t be his girl forever, Kate.”

Her words hit me, hard, like a dagger to my chest. I jerked back my hand and put it safely in my lap. I wanted forever. I wanted to be his forever so bad. “I’m not …” I shook my head. God, I didn’t even know what I was anymore.

“Kate, I know this is hard for you, but …” Stacey looked up at me, sincerity bleeding from her eyes. “It could be really good for you to have a change of scenery, too. Stuck here in this café, your house, those places that remind you of him? It can’t be good for you to be so—”

“I like my life,” I snapped. “I need to be here, Stacey.”
And if I go, I can’t visit the grave anymore. Can’t close my eyes and pretend, just for one moment, that he could come back.

“I’m just saying, go into it with an open mind, okay? I spent five-odd months on tour with them in the States. Lee is a good guy—he’s not Dave, Kate. And you need someone good.” She smiled reassuringly, and I offered her a weak version in return. “And if all that—
all that
—isn’t enough, do it for me.”

“Because …?”

“Because my boyfriend is going on another international tour, only this time, he’ll be without me.”

“Are you worried?” I tilted my head to the side. “I’m sure he wouldn’t—”

“Hell no, I’m not worried. I just want to make sure he’s not having too much fun while I’m slaving away over my TAFE books. I need someone to make his life miserable, you know? And I think you’d be perfect for the job.”

This time, I grinned. It seemed the only thing to do.

“Plus, you’ll get to meet Lottie. I hung out with her during the last few weeks while the boys were doing band stuff when I went with them,” Stacey said. “She’s great; you’ll love her.”

I let my mind explore the idea, the possibility. The concept didn’t hurt as much as it used to. When it came down to it, it would be good for our family, too. My income, combined with Mum’s, had allowed us to keep Dad in the best of care, ensuring he got good treatment when he needed it. But now that I wasn’t going to work at Sideways anymore … well, there’d be a definite gap in our financial plan. One that last night I’d tried to ignore, but that today, with this all-too-real information in front of me, I knew I’d have to handle.

Still, that didn’t mean I needed to fly halfway around the world. I should just get a job here, somewhere close by, to be with them.

But will you find something you like, that pays you that much money that actually advances your career?

“So, I guess there’s only one question left,” Stacey said. She stood, picking up my milkshake glass to take it to the counter.

“And that is …?”

“How many fabulous pairs of shoes are you going to take?”

Five years ago …

I
WAS
never a sucker for heartache and excess emotional turmoil. I knew I’d find true love one day—hell, my parents had made me believe it existed, and it was real as sin. I just didn’t know it would be so easy.

I didn’t know that falling in love would be like diving into a deep pool of silk. I didn’t know it would it wrap around you, caress you as its curves moulded to your body, and then push you up as you surfaced. Consuming. Easy.

“Five,” I muttered as I ran my hand through my hair and stared up at the sky above me: blue marred by fluffy clouds of white, scudding along in the breeze. Today they moved so fast, whereas other times, you could barely see them move. Was that what time would be like in this deal? Sometimes it would move so fast, and other times it would stand still?

I turned my attention to the patchy green grass and kept walking. The sky couldn’t help me with this one. Answers rarely dropped out of it and fell into your lap, no matter how strong your desire.

I pulled the piece of paper from my pocket again. The piece of paper I thought I had been waiting all my life to receive. So why the hell was it making me so damn nervous?

Dear Mr Collins,

We are delighted to inform you that we are in a position to offer you and your band, Coal, a five-album contract, to be produced over a five-year period.

Please find following our terms and conditions regarding royalty payments, splits, and details of distribution for your $500,000 advance and recoupment.

As discussed in our meeting today, this deal is based upon you remaining as front man of the band, and all band members’ ability to steer clear of negative media attention.

There will be a one-week period during which you can discuss the following contract with your legal team. After that, we will need you to sign or return all legal documentation, and we can discuss our next steps together.

Congratulations once again, and welcome to the Spinner team.

Kind regards,

Tony Osmond

I creased the paper again and shoved it back into my pocket, shaking my head. For three guys just out of high school, that advance was a lot of money. It wouldn’t last us five years, but it sure would get us somewhere.

It was everything else that I was worried about.

We’d only been together for twelve months; what if we couldn’t produce the material for an album a year for the next five? So far, we only had five songs, for fuck’s sake. Would we have to pay back our advance if we couldn’t make it?

And then there was the fact that they mentioned in the cover letter that media shit again. They’d brought it up with us when we’d first met—something to do with them getting burnt by the last band who signed with them. One month after their first album release, the lead singer was in jail for sexual abuse, the bass player had punched the quarterback of the local football team and the drummer had had an affair, cheating on his wife. With a dude. “Altogether a very unpleasant business,” Tony had said, shaking his head as he did so. “So we need to be careful, you understand, that you boys are squeaky clean.”

The idea of a squeaky-clean rock ‘n’ roll band seemed at odds with the job to me, but what could you do?

I sucked in a deep breath of clean air, enjoying the quiet of the park. No one came down here during the middle of the day, but I knew that in a few hours time, it would be filled with moms, dads, kids, and dogs as they got their after-school/work exercise.

“Um, excuse me?”

I blinked. I thought no one came …

I turned my head left to right, trying to identify the speaker.

“Up here.”

This time, the voice was a tiny squeak.

I leaned my neck back and looked up … and there, in the branches of a tree above me, was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

She had short blonde hair that flapped in the wind, toned bronzed arms that were currently wrapped around a branch and her eyes—her eyes were the most spellbinding things I’d ever seen. They were deep green, like the sea, flecked with these shards of emerald that just glittered in the afternoon light, capturing me, drowning me in their depths.

“Any chance you could, say, lend me a hand?” She clutched the tree branch tighter as it swayed dangerously in the wind.

“Yes, sure.” I jogged to the base of the old tree and looked for any footholds. “How’d you get up there?”

“I kind of … shimmied, I guess?” She bit her pink, plump lip.

I threw my arms around the trunk and tried to wiggle up as she’d suggested, but it didn’t work. It was unsurprising; I wasn’t exactly known for shimmying skills. Maybe if I could just find a ledge, or a low branch to hold on to, or …

“What are you doing up there, anyway?” I asked while my eyes scanned the area for a different approach. I circled the trunk twice and finally saw the tiniest knob sticking out just above my head. If I could use that for leverage …

“Promise you wont laugh?”

I looked over. She was biting that damn lip again. “Promise.”

“Well, I was trying to save a cat, and—”

“You climbed a tree to save a cat?” I snorted. I couldn’t decide if it was the craziest or the most humanitarian thing I’d ever heard.

“Hey! It was mewling and being all sad, and I couldn’t just leave it up there.”

I took a short run-up and jumped, grabbing onto a tiny knob sticking out from the tree and pulling like crazy until I could swing up and grab onto the lowest proper branch with my other hand. I huffed out a breath. “Aren’t you supposed to call a fireman if that shit happens?”

“Well, yes, but—are you okay? You’re making some funny noises.”

I grunted as I tried to fling my other hand from the knob to the branch. Looked like I was making a stellar first impression. “Fine,” I said.

“Anyway, so my father is in the local fire department, and he would be pretty pissed if I called him out for this.”

“Heartless,” I managed to choke out.

“Right? The poor little thing,” she said. “So, I climbed up here, only the kitty got scared and climbed down … and I got …”

“Stuck?” I swung like a monkey from the branch before something ran over my hand. Something with many tiny, little legs. It took everything I had to keep my hold. I didn’t give a shit if it was manly or not. I was absolutely petrified at the very thought of spiders and their little legs and their fucking creepy-as-shit eight eyes. What the hell did they need to see so bad? Or was it just so they could take extra aim with those little stingy fans?

I dropped myself to the ground, shaking my hands to rid myself of the invisible assailant.

“Yes.”

I stuck my head around the side of the trunk. She really was a long way up; at least eighteen feet, I’d guess. The problem was that even if I did manage to get onto that branch I’d been so close to before, all the branches between her and me were kind of puny-looking. And while I may not have been a steroid-using gym junkie, I did work out, and I wasn’t light.

It seemed she had the thought at the same time as I did, as she spoke. “Maybe you could stay there and … talk to me? Give me, um, directions?”

It was then that I twigged.

She was afraid of falling. She needed someone to guide her; I got that, all right.

“Of course, sure. So shuffle backward … that’s the way, good.” She moved her body along the branch, her ass wiggling in these dangerously short denim cut-offs. “So, um, what’s your name?”