The Protector (36 page)

It wasn’t until I heard movement and the shower start in the next room that I decided it was best that I get up.  I slowly leaned in and kissed her lips gently.  “I need to get up before we are rudely interrupted.” Alison turned onto her back her hair swirling softly on the pillow.   It was almost too much to take in and I swiftly moved in on top of her and crushed her lips with mine.  Her arms wrapped around me and pulled me closer as she opened her mouth to let me in. It was a kiss with so much intensity and feeling it almost swept away reality. All the bent up urges exploded through our lips.  I took the invitation and kissed her with the intensity I had been feeling for days, for weeks being next to her. Her hands traveled from my back to my hair. 

I needed desperately to pull away from her.  But my need for her was too great. I was being pulled in both directions, my needs as a man and what was right for her. Finally sensibility took over as I could hear the shower in the next room stop. I braced my arms on the sides of her body and pulled myself off of her. This time I was the one to groan.  She didn’t say a word as she watched me move from the bed and head straight to the bathroom.  She was still trying to catch her breath as I walked away.

19
Oregon or bust!

Within an hour we were on the road back tracking to Reno to return the rental car of Joed and Noor’s.  Sonny had mentioned that Joed enjoyed driving my car so I feigned being tired and let him drive out of town. She wasn’t kidding about his excitement at driving the car. I sat in the backseat with Sonny, much to the annoyance of Noor. Sonny had not said much since our encounter earlier in the morning. And I didn’t push her to talk. I knew she was nervous about heading up to Oregon.  I would have put money on the fact she was nervous not about any group trying to kill her but instead by having to face Eric.

I didn’t quite understand her feelings of fear for the man. Why did she want to avoid him and why hadn’t she just told him no from the beginning?   From all that she had said, he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. I was in fact jealous of the man who could possibly give her the life her and I would never have. 

Occasionally I would catch her glance and smile at her in reassurance.  Noor was full of questions about things while we were up there, Sonny never answered, leaving me to do all the talking.  Her head laid back against the head rest her eyes looking out the window at the green mountain landscape that surrounded us. Noor finally stopped asking her questions when she came to terms with the fact I wasn’t going to provide her with the answers she wanted and Alison wasn’t going to talk to her. I too, laid my head back against the headrest as Alison had done.  I reached across the seat and grabbed her hand hoping neither Noor or Joed would notice.  But that was not the case as I looked up and saw Joed smiling in the rearview mirror. He was in tuned to my thoughts. Sonny did not turn her head when I grazed her hand with mine. She only squeezed my hand in return.  I turned my head and gazed out the
driver’s
side window and eventually closed my eyes.

The drive went faster than I wanted it to and a little after noon we drove into the town where my nightmare would begin.  Alison was obviously nervous as she couldn’t keep still. And I could honestly admit my nerves were shot as well.  The pit of my stomach filled with anxiety and there was an ache in my chest that I couldn’t decipher.  We had decided to get some lunch and then head to our hotel to check in.

Noor had been more than insistent on the way that her and Alison would be sharing a room and Joed and I would be doing the same.  “After all it wouldn’t be right for Alison to be here seeing her boyfriend and alone in a room with you Jack.”  Her words had rang true and Alison had even agreed this was the best route.   And putting ourselves back into the situation we had been in earlier in the day was not wise. 

A

My stomach was in knots by the time we reached the hotel we were staying in. I still had not gathered enough courage to call Eric and let him know I was in town to see him.   And every time we passed a Grants Pass Police Officer my heart raced in fear of being noticed, even though it was highly doubtful in the car we were in. I was beginning to think that coming face to face with the group that wanted me dead was easier than facing Eric and his million and one questions, especially the one I dreaded the most.

Jack could read my face and knew deep down I was not into doing this. I wasn’t sure it was the best idea or course of action. I was well protected by Jack, Noor and Joed now, why bring someone else into the picture by deception.  I wanted to talk to Jack alone, but I wasn’t sure Noor was going to let that happen. She was clearly upset with the room situation last night and she thought Jack’s take on the situation was clouded by his feelings for me.  And if that was the case, then my judgment was severely impaired because of feelings I was developing for him.  I had also realized that I could not marry Eric when my feelings for Jack were as strong as they were.  The fact was I had feelings for another man when I was supposed to be in love with Eric.  Truth of the matter, I was not IN love with Eric.

Our hotel room window looked out over the Rogue River. It flowed faster and it appeared to be higher than the last time I had visited. Although it had been less than a year, it seemed like a lifetime to me.  Time was put in a whole new context for me now that all this was going on. 

Our room was nicer than the ones we had been staying in before. If Grants Pass had a luxury hotel I guess this would qualify as it. Our room had two beds and a couch and a flat screen tv.   The room had a balcony, which overlooked the river.  I heard the door between our two rooms open and I was thankful that Jack had insisted on the adjoining rooms. I knew Jack was there close by me.

Joed came in and sat next to me on the couch. “You ok Alison?”

“Why does everyone have to ask me that. I am not some weak little girl!”  My voice was full of venom as the words came out of my mouth. The tone did not seem to surprise Joed, he only smiled back at me and suddenly a wave of guilt washed over me. He had been nothing but nice to me and here I was trying to bite his head off simply because he was concerned.

“Ok now that we have established you are not a little girl, How are you?”

“Ok, I think,” I paused waiting for him to say something more, but he didn’t.   “What do you want me to say that I am happy to be here to see the love of my life.  Not happy at all.”

Joed looked at me with a genuine concern. His brown eyes were intent. “Can I ask you a question?”  He shifted in the seat next to me and looked into my eyes as if he were searching for more the meaning of the words to my answer.

“Sure.” I wondered what he could possibly ask me that I hadn’t already contemplated.

“What were your plans with this Eric if what happened in Tel Aviv hadn’t of happened?  Would you still be avoiding him?”

Ok he had actually given me a question I had not really pondered and that was by choice.  I had been avoiding Eric for the past two months, since he had revealed his plans for our future.  I had even been relieved when Tom had asked me to go to Tel Aviv, because it meant being out of cell phone range. I sat there and considered his question.  Time seemed to pass slowly and I avoided Joed’s eyes.

“Well? You going to answer me sometime today?”

“Um, I guess.” I paused for a moment before I actually answered his question.  “It has been easier to avoid him.  I think I would still be avoiding if everything had not happened in Tel Aviv.”

Joed’s eyes were understanding but he pressed the subject much to my annoyance. “Why not just tell him you don’t want the same things he wants. Wouldn’t that be better? Then you can both move on?” 

I shook my head and opened my mouth but the words didn’t come out right away.  “Why are you so curious?”  I didn’t understand his interest in the whole thing.  It seemed odd. He had been sent to retrieve the processor not analyze my love life.

“I don’t know, I guess it’s the curiosity.” He looked away from me and smiled. “I guess you are giving me the opportunity to understand the fickleness of women.”

“I’m not fickle Joed, just confused. It isn’t that I don’t want the same things as he does, I do. I want to get married
someday
, and grow old with someone, but I am pretty sure I don’t want to do that with him.  I want to picture us growing old. And I can’t.  And I don’t want to settle for something less than what I want.”

“Something less or someone less?”  His left eyebrow tweaked up as he asked the question.

For once I didn’t know how to answer his question.  I wasn’t quite sure what he was asking me. I know the look on my face was blank. “What do you mean, someone less?”

Joed stood up and grabbed my hand. “Come on, let’s go for a walk? You need fresh air, it always clears the mind.” Fresh air did sound wonderful.  The weather was beautiful and it was still early enough that I wouldn’t need a Jacket.

I watched as Joed peaked his head into his room. “I am taking Alison out for a walk.”

“Gun?” I heard Jack ask. 

Joed nodded, “Of course.”  I watched as the two of them exchanged unspoken words.  I wasn’t sure what they were communicating but I was sure it was about me.

Joed turned and walked to the door. “Come on before the queen bee vetos the idea.” I had to laugh. It appeared Noor’s high and mighty attitude annoyed not only Jack and I but Joed as well. She had insisted trying to get some more pillows from downstairs and had not yet returned.  

As we walked out of the hotel, Joed headed down toward the river.  Ironically, yesterday I was hiding in the bushes from this man and today I was walking through the bushes with him. I was grateful he had suggested that we take a walk. The air was clear, and as I took a deep breath, I could taste the humidity.  It was something I wasn’t used to and normally it bothered me but today it was a relief. The heavy air matched the heaviness I felt.  His earlier question kept racing through my mind and I wanted to continue our conversation. But the silence was nice as well. I had just spent 5 hours in the car with a woman who would not shut up. 

We walked along the path away from the hotel.  I waited long enough, “What did you mean by someone less?” 

Joed folded his hands behind his back and glanced over at me. “Exactly what I said, if you settle for Eric, would you be settling for someone less than Jack.” 

It took me a minute to process his question.  Finally when it did register, I  could see exactly what he meant. “No, I, Uh?” I stammered.  “I told you, I felt this way before I went to Tel Aviv. Why would you say something like that?”

Joed shrugged his shoulders. “I was just thinking it would be unfair to compare Eric to Jack. They are two very different people.”

I suddenly felt defensive. “I wasn’t comparing them, Joed.” There was no comparison but I didn’t say that out loud.

“I just,” this time he hesitated. “I’m sorry.”  Joed threw his arms up in the air.  “You should probably get it over with sooner than later. Call him when we get back and let him know you are here. Talk to him. The longer you put this off the worse it is going to be for you.  Jack and I are leaving tomorrow for a few days and you don’t want to be stuck in a hotel room with Noor for days on end.”

His words shocked me, leaving? I stopped walking and looked at Joed. “You’re leaving?”

“Jack didn’t tell you did he?”  The look on his face was suddenly very serious.  Tears of frustration came to the corners of my eyes. “I am sorry Alison. Jack was supposed to talk to you about it last night. “

My head began to spin and I could feel my body go numb for just a moment then an immense pain filled my chest as I realized I was once again going to be alone.  It was too much like the dream I had in Phoenix, in the car on the way here and last night, Jack leaving. My fear was that if he left, then he wasn’t coming back. “Why?” I finally managed to spit out as we walked along the path.

“The reason Seth sent us out here was just for this.  We have an idea who is behind all of this. My government wants the processor and wants to know why one of their top scientists is dead.  The group that arranged this they want the processor they paid Tom for and they want you dead. You know too much now.”

The word dead, rattled through my brain. It was if the wind had been knocked out of me. “So you are leaving me here with Noor and Eric? Eric has no clue about what is going on, and Noor hates me. I feel oh so safe.” The sarcasm in my voice hid the hurt I was feeling at the fact Jack had not told me he was leaving.

“You are in good hands with Noor, Alison.  She seems harsh but truth be told, she has a heart and she knows you had no choice in the matter.”  We had stopped in the middle of the trail by the river.  It was higher than I had remembered and the water rushed past us.  Its sound calmed my already frazzled nerves.