The Rancher's Bride (10 page)

“I wasn’t implying that you hadn’t.” He shook his head with frustration. “Look, Rose, I don’t know what happened with that proposal, but—”

“You don’t want to know either,” she cut in sharply.

So now he was getting to the crux of things, Harlan thought. Her daddy wasn’t the one who’d put her off men. It was someone else. Someone whom she’d put her trust in, then had it badly broken. But now wasn’t the time to ask her to delve into her past. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to hear about it. The idea of a man hurting Rose in any way sickened him.

He clasped both her hands in his and squeezed them tightly. “Look, Rose, you’ve already told me you’re not interested in romance. And after my wife died I…well, I don’t ever want to love someone like that again. For a long time I didn’t care whether I lived or not. And if it hadn’t been for Emily I don’t know that I would have made it.”

“If that’s the way you feel, I can’t imagine you wanting to get married again.”

A gentle smile curved his lips and seeing it brought tears to the back of Rose’s eyes. If that smile was only borne out of love, she thought, she could happily give him anything. But it wasn’t. He wasn’t even trying to pretend he loved her.

“A marriage between us, Rose, would be different. We wouldn’t have all the emotional ties that cause each other pain. We’d be good friends. And Emily would have a family again. So what do you say, Rose? Will you marry me?”

H
arlan wanted her to be his wife! What was she going to do? What did she
want
to do?

Slipping her hands from his warm grasp, she left the bench and walked over to a nearby pine tree. The trunk was huge and she leaned against the rough bark, heedless of its sticky resin.

“Rose?”

She heard him coming up behind her. Quickly, she sucked in several breaths of cool night air.

His fingers touched the back of her neck and she wilted inside.

“I know this is very sudden for you,” he murmured. “But please don’t say no.”

She swallowed as her throat grew tighter and tighter. “Just what sort of marriage would this be?”

“What do you mean?”

She glanced over her shoulder at him. He was such a strong, handsome man. A man made to love a woman. He didn’t need her for a wife. He needed someone who could
be not only a companion and friend, but also his lover. If he didn’t realize that, she certainly did.

“I mean—” Oh, how could she do this? She turned to face him. “Are you expecting us…to have a sexual relationship?”

The kiss they’d shared in the bathroom had probably given her the idea he expected their marriage to be consummated in every sense of the word. And the notion was certainly a provocative one to Harlan. He figured making love to Rose would be far sweeter than he could possibly imagine. But he also knew she would probably run like a rabbit if he made sex an issue.

“Rose, I’m not going to stand here and tell you I’m not attracted to you. Hell, any man who didn’t have one foot in the grave would be. But I know you’re not ready for that sort of commitment to me. You might not ever be.”

Incredulous, she asked, “And you could live with that?”

His thumb and forefinger gently closed around her chin. “I’ve lived for seven years without a woman in my bed. I can continue. Maybe after we’re married awhile, you’ll know more how you feel about that.”

He was making it easy for her. Far too easy, she thought. “Where would we live? I have so much work to do here.”

“I’d like for us to live in my house. As for your work here, we’re already driving back and forth every day. Besides, I intend to take over most of your workload.”

What would her sisters think? Would they be relieved that she finally wanted a man, or that one wanted her? Or would they think the stress she’d been under lately had finally made her slip off the beam?

Groaning, she turned away from him and Harlan was suddenly more afraid than he’d ever been in his life. He didn’t know why, but having Rose be his wife had become everything to him.

“I don’t know, Harlan. This is all so much to take in.”

He curved his hands over her shoulders but resisted the urge to pull her back against him. “If it makes any difference, once we’re married I’ll dissolve the loan I made to your father.”

Stunned, she whirled around to him. “Are you—”

He threw his hands up in a pleading gesture. “Now Rosie, before you start thinking I’m trying to buy you, just simmer down.”

She closed her mouth and crossed her arms against her breast. She wanted to be furious with him, but just hearing him call her Rosie was like a sweet stroke of his hand. No one had ever called her Rosie before. Those who knew her considered her too staid and reserved for such a playful name.

“I’m sorry, Harlan, but that’s what it sounds like to me. And I’ll be honest with you, I think you’d be getting the poor end of the deal.”

He grinned. “You let me be the judge of that. Besides, it would be pretty foolish to demand money from my own wife, wouldn’t it?”

She thought about this for a moment. “I guess it would be rather strange.”

“And it would be to my advantage to simply let the money stay invested in the Bar M, don’t you agree?”

“You mean, if I prosper from it, then you stand to prosper?” she asked.

He nodded and his grin deepened. “So now that we’ve got that all reasoned out, are you going to say yes?”

Her shoulders sagged. She hadn’t begun to reason things out in her mind. But apparently he had. “I…you’ve got to let me think about it, Harlan. I can’t just give you an answer now. This minute.”

“When can you?”

How long would it take her to know if she wanted to be this man’s wife? she asked herself. Tomorrow? Next week?
Next year? Maybe she already knew the answer but was just afraid to tell him.

“Tomorrow evening. When I bring Emily back home.” Her eyes widened as another thought struck her. “You haven’t said anything about this to her, have you?”

“No. And I won’t until I know how you feel about it.”

Grateful, she nodded, then said, “We’d better go in now.”

By mutual agreement they started walking back to the house. Along the way Harlan’s arm slipped around her waist. It felt warm and right there and for once that was all that mattered to Rose.

The next afternoon after several hours of line riding, Rose and Emily returned to the ranch house and found Justine, Chloe and Kitty sitting out on the patio in the courtyard. Charlie and the twins were playing quietly in the shaded area of the sandpile.

Justine quickly extended her hand to Emily. “You must be Mr. Hamilton’s daughter, Emily. I’ve already heard lots of good things about you.”

Smiling shyly, Emily stepped forward and took Justine’s hand. “Nice to meet you, ma’am.”

Justine laughed. “Please don’t call me ma’am. I’m not that old yet. Just call me Justine.”

Rose glanced fondly over at the busy children. “Looks like Charlie is keeping the twins entertained.”

Justine laughed and Chloe said, “We’re not sure if it’s Charlie who’s keeping them happy or getting to dig their hands in the sand.”

Kitty sat up in her lawn chair and quickly poured two glasses of lemonade, then handed them to Emily and Rose.

“Wait till you hear Justine’s news!” Chloe said, her face wreathed in smiles.

“Don’t tell me something good has finally happened,”
Rose said with disbelief. She walked over to a nearby lawn chair and took a seat.

“Well, Roy and I think it’s good, at least,” Justine said with a chuckle.

“Roy found Belinda Waller up in Albuquerque,” Rose guessed.

Chloe rolled her eyes. “You think I’d be smiling about that?”

Rose stretched out her legs and crossed her boots at the ankles. She was exhausted. She’d been in the saddle for several hot hours this morning, but she’d spent the whole night wide awake, staring at the darkened walls of her bedroom trying to decide what to do about Harlan’s proposal. She still didn’t have an answer for herself or for him.

“I don’t know whether you’d be smiling or not, but we all know finding Belinda Waller is something that has to be done.”

“Well, this has nothing to do with any of that, thank goodness,” Chloe replied.

“Amen to that,” Kitty added. “It’s about time this family had some happy news.”

Happy?
Rose wasn’t sure she knew what that word meant anymore.

“Then I guess you’re going to tell me that Roy found the idiot that cut our fence.”

Justine shook her head. “He’s working on it, Rose, but there really isn’t much for him to go on. A few footprints and maybe some fingerprints on the metal post. But it’s highly unlikely those will even be on file.”

Rose’s shoulders sagged at this news. Emily came to stand beside her lawn chair. “Me and Rose have a bad feeling about that fence,” the teenager told the other Murdock women. “We think whoever did it might try to do something else.”

Justine nodded grimly. “So does Roy.”

The whole group went quiet after that until Chloe stood and refilled her glass with icy lemonade. “Let’s not dwell on that right now. Tell them the good news, Justine,” Chloe urged her sister.

Her beautiful face glowing, Justine looked at her older sister. “Roy and I are going to have another baby.”

“Wow!” Emily exclaimed. “There’s gonna be babies all over this place!”

Everyone laughed and Rose got up from her chair to go kiss her sister’s cheek. “Congratulations, Justine. This is wonderful news.”

“Thanks sis, I know it probably seems crazy wanting a child when everything around here is in such turmoil, but Roy and I have lost so much time together and Charlie is already five. We want him to have a sibling before he gets too much older.”

“And he should have one,” Rose agreed with a happy smile for her sister. “When are you due?”

“The end of March.”

“And I guess Roy is walking on a cloud about it,” Rose said.

Justine groaned and laughed. “I’m two months along and he’s already trying to keep me off my feet.”

“What about your nursing job at the clinic, Justine?” Kitty asked.

“It’s only three days a week. Roy wants me to quit, but I told him I wanted to work at least until my eighth month. The exercise will be good for me. And Doctor Bellamy will always be nearby if I need him.”

For the next few minutes talk centered around the coming baby. Eventually Rose noticed Emily had slipped away from the group of women and was sitting on the sand a few steps away from Charlie and the twins. The sad, forlorn look on her face had Rose quickly walking over to her.

“Emily, is something wrong?”

Her eyes firmly planted on the playing children, Emily shook her head. “No. I’m okay.”

The girl sounded anything but okay, Rose decided. She looked as though she’d just lost her dearest friend.

Squatting down beside the teenager, Rose said, “Did I say something to hurt or upset you? If I did, I’m very sorry.”

Emily’s eyes flew to Rose’s concerned face. “Oh, no, Rose. I’m not mad or anything like that. I just thought I’d come over here and watch the kids and rest.”

Emily never mentioned the word rest and normally she would be playing with the children rather than watching them.

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

Emily’s eyes dropped to her lap. “I’m fine,” she said in a small little voice.

Rose remained quiet for a few moments, then decided to make a stab in the dark. “Did it upset you to hear my sister is going to have a baby?”

Lifting her head, Emily nodded ruefully. “I guess that’s dumb, isn’t it? I mean, I think it’s great that she’s gonna have a baby and Charlie is going to have a little brother or sister. It’s wonderful for you all. But it—it makes me kinda sad, too.”

Rose reached out and smoothed her hand over Emily’s shining blond hair. “Because you wished it were you who was going to get the brother or sister. Is that it?”

Emily nodded again, then rubbed the backs of both hands against her eyes. “That sounds pretty selfish to you, doesn’t it? And childish.”

Tears stung Rose’s throat. “No. It sounds pretty human to me.” She didn’t go on to tell Emily that she, too, was having some pretty selfish feelings of her own at the news of Justine’s pregnancy. Not that she wasn’t happy for her sister, she was. In fact, she was thrilled for her. Still, Rose
couldn’t help but wonder why it had never been her turn to have a husband and child of her very own.

You can have a husband and child of your own, a voice inside Rose whispered. Harlan wants you to be his wife. He wants you to be Emily’s mother.

Maybe that didn’t necessarily mean passionate love or a baby for her, but at least she would have a family of her own, Rose reasoned with herself. It was more than she’d ever expected. But would it be enough?

“I’m sorry for being sulky, Rose,” Emily said. She got to her feet and brushed sand from the seat of her jeans. “I’m going to go over and tell your sister how happy I am for her.”

Rose caught her by the forearm. “Emily, you’re a sweet young lady. And you’ll always be welcome to consider my family as your family, too. Don’t ever forget that.”

“Thanks, Rose,” she said, then grinned. “Me and you, we’re a team, aren’t we?”

Rose slipped her arm around Emily’s small shoulders. “Yes, we’re a team.”

The hammer glanced off the nailhead and squashed Harlan’s forefinger against the two-by-four stud.

“Damn it,” he muttered under his breath as he attempted to shake off the stinging pain.

If he’d had his mind on his business, the hammer would have hit its mark rather than him. But all day long Harlan had found it impossible to concentrate on anything but Rose.

She would be bringing Emily home in a matter of minutes and soon she would be giving him the answer to his proposal. A few weeks ago, even a few days ago, if someone had told him he would be asking a woman to marry him, he would have laughed in their face. Moreover,
if they’d told him how desperately eager he would be for the woman to say yes, he would have called them insane.

And maybe he had gone a little mad, he argued with himself. For seven years he and Emily had been on their own. Initially, after Karen had died, it had been hard just trying to cope with the grief. Then the sheer magnitude of caring for a small child had been thrust squarely upon his shoulders. Yet somehow they’d survived and grown together. So why did he want to bring Rose into the picture? he asked himself.

Because Emily was growing into a young woman. She needed a mother’s touch. She needed female guidance about things he couldn’t possibly know about or understand. And life here on the ranch would be a little sweeter with Rose around. It was as simple as that.

A few minutes later Harlan heard the sound of a vehicle. He stepped out of the barn in time to see Rose parking her truck at the side of the house beneath the shade of a scrawny piñon. Emily jumped out and hurried into the house, Rose climbed more slowly to the ground, then shading her eyes with one hand, looked toward the barn.

Harlan waved to her. She waved back and started walking to him. By the time she reached the barn, Harlan’s heart was pounding and his palms were slick with sweat. He couldn’t ever remember feeling like this.

“Hello,” he greeted.

She gave him a shy, nervous smile. “I told Emily I had to talk to you about a few things so she went on into the house.”

“How did things go today?”

She nodded. “Okay. We didn’t find anything amiss with the cattle or the fence. Roy has looked the scene over but he’s not very optimistic about finding the person who cut the fence.”