Read The Ranger And The Widow Woman Online
Authors: Stella Bagwell
The Ranger And The Widow Woman (13 page)
“Have you ever thought that the trouble was with him? Not you?”
For as long as she could remember, the men in Violet’s life had always blamed her for their weakness. To have Charlie, an unmoving mountain of a man, see and understand the other side of things was too much for Violet.
Her chin dropped against her chest as tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Violet? What’s the matter?”
She couldn’t speak. All she could manage to do was shake her head.
“Damn it, are you bawling?” he asked gruffly.
She shook her head again and pressed her fingertips against her closed eyelids.
Charlie rose to his feet and stood in front of her chair. Violet’s watery gaze fastened on the toes of his brown boots.
“No! I’m not bawling!” she muttered, but her voice was anything but normal.
Moments of awkward silence passed, and then she felt Charlie’s big hand on the top of her head.
“You shouldn’t be doing that, Violet.”
His words and the awkward, yet tender stroke of his hand was too much for Violet. Jumping from her seat, she fell sobbing against his chest.
Stunned, he looked down at her small hands clutching the front of his shirt, her dark head buried against his chest. He’d never had any woman cling to him with such fierce need, and to have Violet turn to him, ask him for comfort, filled him with emotions he couldn’t name or understand. He only knew he wanted her to stop crying, he wanted her to know that with him she would always be safe and protected. And loved.
His mind tried to block out the word even as his arms moved around her. No, he didn’t love this woman, he assured himself. He simply wanted to ease her pain, to keep her safe, the way he should have kept Lupé Valdez safe.
“You shouldn’t cry over him, Violet. He isn’t worth it. Besides, he’s gone. And you’re very young. You’ll find another man who’ll be much better to you.”
She lifted her face and looked up at him. “I don’t want to find another man. After Brent, I don’t think I could ever trust any man to be faithful to me.”
And Charlie couldn’t trust any woman to love him in spite of his job as a lawman. The thought twisted his lips to a wry line. “You don’t want a man. And I don’t want a woman. I’ve thought all along we were birds of the same feather.”
Charlie believed she was like him? Sad and closed off and determined not to be loved? Surely she wasn’t!
Wiping the last of her tears from her cheeks, she said, “I’m not like you, Charlie Pardee. You’re a totally unhappy man.”
“I’m not the one watering the porch floor with a flood of tears,” he pointed out.
Violet realized it was time to let go of him, to back away and remember why she was here on this ranch and who he was. He wasn’t a man who could help her. In the end he could only hurt her. Yet in spite of all that logic, she wasn’t quite ready to end the sweet pleasure of having his body next to hers.
“No. You’re too tough to cry,” she said sadly, then tapped the tips of her fingers against the region of his heart. “But in here there’s a bucket of tears.”
His features grew stone smooth. “And I’m sure you think you’re just the woman to dry them up?”
“I wouldn’t be so vain to think any such thing. I just told you I couldn’t keep Brent happy. I’d be crazy to think I could put a smile on your face. I wouldn’t attempt to try.”
He wanted to be relieved at her tough, indifferent remarks. But he wasn’t. A part of him needed to believe she was standing here in his arms because she wanted him, because out of all the men in the world, he was the one who could ease her aching heart. It was damn crazy thinking on Charlie’s part, but he couldn’t seem to stop it.
Just as Violet was expecting some caustic remark from him, he shocked her by lifting her up and into the cradle of his arms.
Gasping, she flung her arm tightly around his neck. “Charlie! What are you doing?”
“I’m taking you to your bed. I think we’ve had enough conversation for tonight.”
Chapter Seven
S
am was gone. The realization shocked the groggy cloud of sleep from Violet’s head, and she bolted straight up in bed. It was well past sunup and the cabin was quiet. Was Charlie still in his bedroom asleep?
am was gone. The realization shocked the groggy cloud of sleep from Violet’s head, and she bolted straight up in bed. It was well past sunup and the cabin was quiet. Was Charlie still in his bedroom asleep?
“Sam!”
Her call went unanswered and terror struck her heart. The last couple of days her son had grown comfortable with his temporary home in the desert. Had he gotten it in his head to wander off from the house to search for coyotes or some other such animal or bird Charlie had told him about?
Snatching up her cotton robe, she wrapped the thin material around her and raced through the house. Neither Charlie nor Sam were in the kitchen or any of the small connecting rooms.
Unmindful of her bare feet and flimsy covering, she hurried onto the front porch, then quickly stopped dead in her tracks. Sam and Charlie were out in the dusty yard tossing sticks for Buster to fetch.
The black-and-white Collie appeared to be grinning as much as her son, and her heart wrung with bittersweet pain as she watched Sam hug the dog’s neck. Charlie hadn’t brought Buster over here to be a watchdog. He’d done it for Sam. Why? For her child? For her? Oh, dear God, she prayed, don’t let me soften toward this hard lawman.
“Mommy!” Sam cried the moment he spotted Violet on the porch. “Come here and see how Buster can fetch! He’s real smart. See?”
As Violet slowly moved down the steps, Sam reared back and threw the stick in his hand as far as he could. With a happy yelp, Buster immediately raced after it.
By the time Violet had reached the two of them, the dog had returned. Sam took the stick from the dog’s grinning mouth and gave the animal another loving squeeze.
“Isn’t he beautiful, Mommy? See how much he likes me? Charlie says you can tell when a dog likes you if he licks you and wags his tail.”
Buster’s tongue was lapping at Sam’s round little cheeks, and Violet couldn’t help but smile at the picture the two of them made. “If that’s the case, then I think Buster likes you a lot.”
The dog began to bark and taunt Sam to throw the stick again. As the child and animal played the game once more, Violet turned to Charlie.
“I woke up and found Sam gone from the bed. I was frightened he’d wandered off in the hills.”
His blue gaze drifted languidly up and down the length of her, and Violet couldn’t help but wrap the thin robe more tightly around her body.
“You don’t have much trust in your son, do you?”
She tried not to bristle at his question. “Normally, I do. But he’s a child. The desert might lure him to leave the safety of the yard and go exploring.”
“I’ve explained the dangers to him. He knows not to go off unless I’m with him.”
Her mouth fell open, and his eyes settled on her parted lips.
“And you think simply telling him that is enough?” She snorted as she tossed back her tangled hair. “You don’t know anything about children. Their minds can change in an instant.”
Charlie wished his mind could change that quickly. The sight of her naked face and the fact that she was wearing next to nothing under her robe made him want to take up right where he’d been last night on the porch. With her in his arms.
“You’re right. I don’t know much about kids,” he conceded. “But you should give Sam more credit. He’s a smart boy.”
He was a smart child, Violet had to agree, and she was only being testy with Charlie because she’d woken to such a fright. Sighing, she passed a hand over her face. “I know. And I’m trying not to...hang on so tightly. But when I woke up and saw him gone I... well, I was scared.”
A few steps away Sam and Buster were playing tag, and it was easy to see the dog was loving the game as much as her son.
“Charlie, can I race Buster to the barn and back?” Sam asked.
Charlie glanced at Violet, then looked down at the boy, who’d trotted over to his side.
“Your mother is here now, you should ask her permission.”
Sam instantly latched on to Violet’s hand and tugged eagerly. “Can I, Mommy?” His finger pointed toward the barn which was less than a hundred feet away. “Just to the fence and back?”
Violet nodded, and boy and dog took off at a run, across the barren yard. She watched the two of them for a moment, then glanced knowingly at Charlie. “You brought Buster over here for Sam. Not for a watchdog.”
His face stoic, he slowly folded his arms across his chest. “Now why should my motives be entering your mind? It doesn’t matter why I brought Buster home with me. Or you and Sam. You’re here. For a little while.”
For a little while.
Like a slap, his words shocked her back to reality, and it dawned on her how right he really was. It didn’t matter why he was being kind enough to house and feed her and her child. He wasn’t planning anything long-term. And neither was she. But deep inside her she knew saying goodbye to Charlie Pardee wasn’t going to be an easy thing to do.
Like a slap, his words shocked her back to reality, and it dawned on her how right he really was. It didn’t matter why he was being kind enough to house and feed her and her child. He wasn’t planning anything long-term. And neither was she. But deep inside her she knew saying goodbye to Charlie Pardee wasn’t going to be an easy thing to do.
The wind blew her dark, tumbled hair across her face, and she was suddenly reminded that she’d only climbed out of bed a few minutes ago, the same bed that Charlie had carried her to last night, then whispered good-night.
Looking at him now, it was hard to believe he’d held her, comforted in a way no man ever had. From the closed expression on his face, Violet got the impression he regretted those few moments. Or at least he never wanted to repeat them again. The idea saddened her. But she squared her shoulders and hoped none of what she was feeling showed on her face.
“Have you had breakfast?”
“I gave Sam some juice and I had coffee.”
“I’ll go make us something,” she said, then walked slowly back to the house.
Violet was on her way to the bedroom to change her clothes when the sound of a vehicle caught her attention. Curious, she walked to the living room and looked out the screen door.
Charlie’s mother was pulling up in the same pickup she’d arrived in the other morning. Violet’s first inclination was to hurry to the bedroom and dress so Justine wouldn’t find her wearing only a thin bathrobe. But after a second glance it became clear the older woman had no intentions of coming in and staying for a visit.
The older woman handed Charlie a small square of paper, spoke briefly to him, then said a few words to Sam and climbed back into her pickup.
After she’d started the engine, Charlie leaned his head inside the open window and said something to his mother that caused the woman to shake her head, then he stepped back and lifted his hand in farewell.
Justine’s truck was already headed back down the road when Charlie started to the house. Violet didn’t bother to move. She expected he’d already seen her standing there. It would look ridiculous to try and hide her curiosity now.
“Is something wrong?” she asked Charlie as he stepped into the house.
He looked at her oddly. “No. Why would you think something was wrong?”
Because things had been wrong in Violet’s life for so long now she could hardly think anything else.
She shrugged, hoping Charlie wouldn’t pick up on her uneasiness. “I was... just surprised your mother didn’t stay for a while.”
He unfolded the square of paper his mother had given him, glanced at it, then stuffed the note into the pocket of his red T-shirt. Violet wondered what kind of message he could have gotten that his mother couldn’t give him verbally.
“She had things to do. She’s expecting Dad home this afternoon. Even after all these years a night apart is torture for them.”
A night apart from Brent had been torture for Violet, too. But for totally different reasons. Once she’d learned he’d been unfaithful, she knew his nights away meant he was spending time with another woman.
“I think that’s wonderful,” she murmured.
Charlie’s gaze slid from her face, down the creamy line of her neck to where her robe made a vee between her breasts. The hint of soft cleavage stirred unbidden visions in his head and he could only imagine what it would be like to come home from a stakeout and find her in his bed.
Violet’s green eyes scanned his face. “You say that like...you’re almost jealous.”
Shrugging, he turned away from her. “I guess I am. A little.”
“But they’re your parents! You should be thrilled they’re so in love.”
He turned around to face her, and Violet was struck by the emptiness on his face. “I didn’t say I was jealous of them. I’m jealous of what they have,” he said, then let out a bitter snort. “Damn stupid of me, isn’t it?”
It wasn’t stupid. It was sad and human and something she wasn’t expecting from Charlie. “Why is it stupid? I think everyone wants to be loved and wanted and needed.”
He turned his back to her, and Violet watched his shoulders lift and fall as though he were heaving out a deep breath. And at that moment she knew she’d been right last night when she’d told Charlie his heart was full of tears.
The unexpected need to comfort him was stronger than the inner warning to keep her distance from the man. She moved over to him and placed her palm against his back. The contact caused his head to twist around in surprise and his blue eyes caught her gaze.
“What are you doing?”
The blunt question should have put her off, but she kept her hand against the hard warmth of him, anyway. “Trying to tell you that you’re not alone.”
He made another mocking sound in his throat. “Hell, I’ve got a family as huge as Texas. I’m not alone. And even if I was, it wouldn’t make me unhappy. I like my own company.”
“If that’s the case, then you shouldn’t be jealous of the closeness your parents share.”
“I’m not. Really. I don’t even know why I said that. And I sure as hell don’t know why you’re continuing to harp on it!” he said sharply.
Violet didn’t know what was wrong with her or what it was inside her that made her want to push him, goad him to open up to her. She didn’t need to know what was underneath this man’s tough hide. If she really knew she might just begin to care. And that would be a disastrous mistake.
“Are Texas Rangers permitted to lie?”
His face like dark slate, Charlie whirled around and grabbed her by the shoulders. “You don’t know anything about me or the way I have to live! If you did you would see that I’ll never have the chance to be like my father. To have a woman who understands and supports his need to be a lawman.”
“There are thousands of women who have lawmen for husbands. If you’re using your job as an excuse for not being able to hold on to a woman, then you’re lying to yourself.”
A snarl exposed his white teeth. “Oh, yeah. I’m sure you’d be more than ready to hitch yourself to another man who was gone three-fourths of the time. I’m sure you’d feel real secure with a relationship like that.”
The awful sarcasm in his voice was enough to make her want to slap him. Yet she didn’t. She couldn’t even bring herself to be angry with him. Because there was a scary truth to his words. And they both knew it.
Unable to pull her gaze from the grip of his, she stared at him, and her voice quavered with emotion when she spoke. “Maybe
I
couldn’t. But there’s a woman out there who could.”
I
couldn’t. But there’s a woman out there who could.”
The mockery on his face deepened. “Sure. And what kind of woman would she be, Violet? Is she beautiful and vibrant and sexy and smart? Is she someone I’ll want to spend the rest of my life with?”
For some odd reason Violet didn’t want to think of him spending his life with any woman. She didn’t want to imagine some other woman in his arms, smiling up at him, kissing his lips and making love to him. The proprietary feeling was like a lance of fear driving right through her. She wasn’t the woman he was needing. She couldn’t let herself be. If he knew of the horrible things she’d run from, he wouldn’t simply frown upon her, he’d probably want to arrest her!
“I have no idea what kind of woman turns you on. Besides, you’ve already told me several times you’re not looking for one.”
A sudden light gleamed in his eyes, and Violet’s heart shoved itself into overdrive as he moved closer. “What if I said you turned me on?” he asked, his voice low and gruff.
“I’d say you were a man who was either bored or didn’t know what he wanted.”
To her amazement he chuckled low in his throat. “Right at this moment I know exactly what I want. It’s the afterward that has me all tangled up.”
Before she could digest the meaning behind his words, Charlie’s fingers slid to where the edge of her robe met the skin of her collarbone. The intimate contact caused Violet to draw in a sharp breath.
“You don’t know...what you’re saying or doing,” she murmured in protest.
A mocking grin curved his lips. “Oh, I know, and I also realize I’m damn crazy. But that doesn’t stop what I’m feeling.”
Violet couldn’t block the next question from passing her lips. “What are you feeling?”
From the corner of her eye she could spot Sam out the living room window. Thank goodness he was still safely playing with Buster and totally oblivious of the two adults inside the house.
Other books
Kate’s Vermonth Adventure by Janice Hanna
Uncle Sagamore and His Girls by Charles Williams
French kiss by Aimee Friedman
Her Mediterranean Playboy by Melanie Milburne
Mine: A Love Story by Prussing, Scott
Overdose by Kuili, Ray N.
Camp Payback by J. K. Rock