The Realest Ever (8 page)

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That morning Pastor Ricky Williams spoke to the congregation about volunteering more for the many church activities they had going on – and doing it with a grateful heart.  He stressed that good deeds alone would not guarantee anyone a spot in the kingdom of heaven, but not offering any good deeds at all was just as bad.

After service Donovan waited while his mother spoke to the pastor and a few women
at the church she’d grown close to over the years.  When Miss Beverly was done with her goodbyes, Donovan led her into the bright sunlight outside and helped her into his new F-150.  Beverly was a small woman, totally dwarfed by her tall and stout son.  She was thin enough for Donovan to hoist into the truck like a child, but she only needed to hold his hand while she climbed into the cabin.

“Was Brianna busy
this morning?” Beverly asked when Donovan got settled behind the steering wheel.  He started the truck and rolled slowly out of the parking spot.

“I didn’t talk to her,” he told his mother.

“Was she out partying last night?”

Donovan grinned.

Brianna came to church with him and his mother only twice this year.  Last year she tagged along once.  Donovan thought that was a clear indication that Brianna wasn’t the church-going type, but Beverly felt the need to bring it up again each week. 

Donovan’s mother
was fifty-eight years old.  She wore her hair short; it was more salt than peppery.  She was spry and quick-witted.  She wore wire-rimmed glasses and preferred slacks over skirts or dresses.  Her skin was smooth and dark.  Donovan had never seen her put on any makeup – not even a thin coat of lipstick.  Beverly was retired from the DMV, but she maintained a lot of the impatience and sarcasm she perfected after more than three decades on the job. 

Donovan loved his mother dearly.  His only complaint was that she wouldn’t take another man or even make room in her heart for
a lonely puppy after her husband died.  Donovan knew she had a lot more love to give.  But Beverly was stubborn when she made up her mind about something.  She knew no man could ever measure up to Darrell, and she cherished her home too much
to let some mangy dog chew it up
.  Donovan offered to find her a cat, declawed.  Beverly was not interested.

“Why don’t you give me a grandbaby?” she
’d asked instead.  “If I got more love to give, I’ll save it for my grandbaby.”

Donovan made a left on Seminary.

“Brianna didn’t go out partying last night,” he said.  “She just doesn’t like to wake up early on Sunday.”

“That’s part of the sacrifice,” Beverly preached.  “Sometimes you have to do things your body doesn’t want, if you want to follow Jesus.”

“Why you telling me?” Donovan asked.  “I got up this morning.”

“I was thinking maybe you could pass the word along to your girlfriend,” Beverly suggested.

“But I don’t care if she goes to church,” Donovan said honestly.  “I thought you liked Brianna.”

“I do,” Beverly said.  “She’s beautiful, and she’s
smart.  But if she was a heavy-praying woman, too…”  She held a finger in the air.  “That would seal the deal for me.  I’d be proud to give you away at your wedding.”

Donovan chuckled.  He told
her countless times that a mom does not give her son away at a wedding, but Beverly wouldn’t give up the dream. 

“You’re my only child,” she
had replied.  “I got to have
some
role in your wedding – besides just sitting there.  Why does the bride’s family get to do everything?”

Donovan drove pas
t the Golden Corral they usually stopped at after church.

“Where you going?” Beverly asked.

“I forgot to tell you, I can’t have lunch with you today, Mama.  I’m meeting someone.”

Beverly frowned.  “Someone like who?”

Donovan smiled.  “Kyra.”

Beverly frowned some more.  “Kyra
who
?”

Donovan fought hard to keep from cracking up.  “You know which Kyra.”

Beverly’s eyes widened.  She removed her glasses and fixed a serious look on him.  “Kyra
who
?”

“Reynolds, Mama.  Kyra Reynolds.”

Beverly’s mouth fell open.  “Aw hell.”

Donovan laughed.  “We just left church, Mama.”

Beverly didn’t give a damn.  “Don’t tell me that girl is back in this city.”

“She is,” Donovan said.  “And she’s not a girl anymore, Mama.  Kyra’s a grown woman.”

Beverly stared at her son like his nose just fell off.  “Donovan, don’t play with me.”

“I’m not,” he said.  He couldn’t wipe the smirk off his face.  “She moved back last week.  And she found me on
Facebook.  I talked to her yesterday.”

Beverly stared in silence for a moment, and then she brought a hand to her face and rubbed her forehead.
  “Jesus,” she muttered.

“It’s been fifteen years,” Donovan said.  “I know you’re not still mad at her.”

“Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” Beverly asked.  “Do you want to send me to an early grave?”

“No, Mama
.  Of course not.”

“What the hell is Kyra doing back in this city?”

“She can live wherever she wants to, Mama.”

“Did she come back for you?”

Donovan frowned.  “No.”

“Then why she look you up?”

“She was my best friend,” Donovan reminded.  “Why wouldn’t she look me up?  I’ve been looking for her, too.”

“Looking for her
when
?”

“All the time,” Donovan said.    “
Tell me you’re not still mad at her.”

“I’m not mad.  I just can’t stand her,” Beverly said matter-of-factly.

“Mama, that’s cold.”

“Donovan, don’t
sit there and act like this is brand new.  You know I can’t stand that girl.  Never could.  She ain’t never brought nothing but trouble.”

“She never caused me any trouble, Mama.  You’re exaggerating.”

“I remember when she used to follow you home,” Beverly said.  She was staring at the traffic, but what she saw was a memory tucked deep inside a recess of her mind.  “When y’all were kids, I remember thinking,
Aw, look at my baby trying to help that poor, homeless girl
.  But I made the mistake of feeding her ass, and she wouldn’t go away.  She was like a bad fungus infection, just, just always there!  Always knocking on my damned door: 
Is, is Donovan here
?”  Beverly scrunched up her face and mocked Kyra with a childish voice.  “I wanted to tell her
Hell no!  Not for you!  Not never!
”

“Wow.”  Donovan watched his mother in amazement.  It was hard to believe
they had totally different recollections of the same person.  “Kyra never did anything to harm you,” he said.  “Why you acting like that?”

“It’s not what she did to me.  It’s what she almost did to you!  Had you in all type
s of trouble over there.”

“No, Mama.  Kyra never got me in trouble.”

“What about when you called the police over to her mama’s house?  Got yourself in all that
mess
!  You were in the 8
th
grade then.”

“You just said it,” Donovan noted.  “
I
called the police over there.  Kyra didn’t tell me to do that.  And I didn’t get in trouble for calling the police.”

“And what about when you got in a fight with that man over there?”

“Again that was something
I
chose to do, Mama.  You can’t blame Kyra for that.”

“How come I can’t?  Your name wouldn’t have been in no police reports if it wasn’t for her.  Her whole family was
all messed up, and you was right in the middle of it.  Wasn’t nothing I could tell you to get you to leave that girl alone.”

“I always wondered why you weren’t proud of me for trying to help somebody.”

“How can a little boy help somebody?” Beverly wanted to know.  “That’s what I was trying to tell you, way back then.  The only thing that can happen is you get pulled down right along with her.”

“But I didn’t get pulled down, Mama.  As you can see, I’m not on drugs or in prison.”

“Did you tell Brianna about her?” Beverly asked.

“Of course I did,” Donovan said.  “You think I’d go see another woman without telling my girlfriend?”

“And she’s okay with it?”

“Well, she ain’t great,” Donovan admitted.  “But she does trust me.”

“Did you tell her why I put Kyra out my house?”

Donovan’s smile slipped.  “I, uh…”

“Yeah.”  Beverly nodded fiercely.  “That’s what I thought.”

“I told her everything else
, though.”

“If you didn’t tell her you was
fixing to have sex with that girl, then you lied,” Beverly accused.

“All we did was kiss,” Donovan said.

His mother’s mouth fell open, and she got upset all over again.  “Boy, don’t sit there and tell me that bull!  I saw it, Donovan!  Did you forget that?  I saw it with my own eyes!”

Donovan pulled into the driveway of his childhood home.  He didn’t kill the engine right away.  He turned and looked at his mother.

“You saw us kissing,” he said.  “Not getting ready to–”

“In
my house
,” Beverly nearly shouted.  “Y’all played me like a fool.  Whew!”  She fanned herself.  “I don’t know why you got me thinking about that girl again.  Gon’ have my blood pressure up.”

“We didn’t play you, Mama.” 

“Yes you did.  Told me y’all was
just friends
. 
She’s like my little sister
,” she mocked.  “I knew it wasn’t no way a boy and a girl could live together like that, but I believed you.  And y’all stabbed me in the back! 
Both of you
!”

“It was just one kiss,” Donovan
reasoned.  “That was the first time we ever did that.  And it wasn’t planned.  We didn’t lie to you.  I didn’t know that was gonna happen.”

“It wasn’t
just a kiss
,” Beverly growled.  “Y’all were touching on each other, tongue all in each other’s mouths!”  She grimaced.  “If I didn’t come home from work early that day, I’d have my grandbaby by now.  She’d be fourteen years old already.”

Beverly
leaned back in her seat and fanned herself.  It was already chilly in the vehicle, but Donovan reached to turn his AC up more.

“I swear I feel my pressure
rising,” Beverly said.

Donovan shook his head, not
sure how to respond to her.  He knew
the kiss
was bad, but he didn’t think his mother would harbor this much resentment after so much time.

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The incident occurred on October 7
th
, 1999.  Donovan was a junior at Finley High.  Kyra was in the 10
th
grade at the same school.  She’d been living with Donovan’s family for five months, since the day her mother went to prison for her 4
th
forgery conviction.  At school Donovan and Kyra referred to each other as brother and sister or cousins.  The other students didn’t know what to make of them.  They knew Donovan and Kyra lived together, and they never saw the best buds hugging or holding hands or showing any sexual interest whatsoever.  Whatever they were, boyfriend and girlfriend wasn’t it.   

At that point, Kyra and Donovan had been friends for seven years.  They were both on cloud nine, since Beverly trusted them enough to take Kyra in.  She didn’t have to move all the way to Arkansas, and Kyra was now
safe from her neglectful and sometimes dangerous home environment.  With Donovan’s family, Kyra was happier than she had ever been.

When they got home from school that day, nothing was out of the
ordinary.  Kyra had developed most of her womanly features by then.  But Donovan seemed uninterested.  His mother warned them that Kyra would have to go if they started any funny business.  Donovan knew was at stake.  But it didn’t matter because he didn’t have those kinds of eyes for Kyra.  When some of his friends at school asked if he noticed Kyra’s steadily bulging breasts, Donovan responded, “Yo, that’s nasty.  That’s like me looking at my
mama’s
chest!”

Donovan still felt that way on October 7
th
.  But that was the day he learned that you can go from having zero interest in somebody to having a blinding yearning for them in the blink of an eye – depending on the situation.  The situation for them was the family den, with dark curtains on the windows, and a new music video on BET.  The feature was “
We Can’t be Friends
,” by R.L. and Deborah Cox.

The song was about a couple who broke up and realized they couldn’t remain friends afterwards because they were still in love.  The video matched the lyrics precisely.  When it went off, Donovan was surprised to see tears in
Kyra’s eyes.