The Regal Rules for Girls (10 page)
I used to tell myself that it really didn’t matter which fork I used for which course as long as I made an effort to make the people I spoke to at dinner feel valued. But I soon learned that this is nothing but American silliness. In reality, if the Brits see you do something incorrectly, they wouldn’t dream of saying anything (they
are, after all, the “very pineapple of politeness”
5
, but rest assured they will make a quiet mental note against your character. So please, please, pay attention to the following:
Left: resting position
Right: finished position
PLACE SETTINGS:
Place your napkin in your lap as soon as you sit down.
When faced with a dazzling array of cutlery, the golden rule is start on the outside and work your way in.
If you’re nervous and can’t remember which fork to use, wait to see what others do first.
Your bread plate is on your
left
. Your wine and water glasses are on your
right
.
Put butter onto your bread plate—never directly onto the bread. Break off a small chunk of bread and butter each chunk separately as you eat. (Never slice the bread in half and butter the entire slice.)
If you must leave the table in the middle of the meal, leave your napkin on your chair.
At the end of the meal, leave your napkin scrunched (never folded) on the table.
DINING DOS AND DON’TS:
DO sit up straight.
DO close the menu once you’ve decided.
DO wait for everyone at the table to be served before eating. Even if the hostess says, “Please begin”—it’s good manners to wait. (If you are seated at a large banquet, it’s fine to begin eating once guests on either side of you have their food.)
DO learn to eat pizza, burgers, and French fries with a knife and fork. (I’m serious. The Brits actually do this.)
DO fill others’ glasses before filling your own.
DO pass the salt and pepper together.
DO ask for a fork if you can’t use chopsticks.
DON’T express distaste for the food if others are enjoying it.
DON’T order something if it’s messy or you’re not sure how to eat it (fish with bones, spaghetti, etc).
DON’T pick up a canapé unless you can consume it in a single mouthful.
DON’T touch up your lipstick or powder your nose at the table.
DON’T leave your evening bag or phone on the table (though DO switch your phone to silent).
DON’T ask for a “doggie bag”—taking leftovers home just doesn’t happen.