The Regal Rules for Girls (26 page)
Every American girl is entitled to have twelve young men devoted to her. They remain her slaves and she rules them with charming nonchalance.
—O
SCAR
W
ILDE
Once you arrive in London, one of the first things you’ll notice is that Prince Harry–type Englishmen with Hugh Grant accents are few and far between. The movies make it look like they are swarming the streets, but the reality is that they practically belong on some sort of endangered species list.
But don’t fret. The good news is that although this particular species of Englishman makes up
less than 4 percent
of the entire UK population, they are not extinct. You just have to know where to find them. The junior royals are spotted out and about in London all the time—as are their devastatingly attractive friends that I like to call the “Castle Crew” (aka cute British boys, usually Eton or Harrow alumni, whose families tend to own rather large stately homes). Although there is no question that the Castle Crew is an increasingly threatened species and the enchanted world these boys inhabit is very, very small— if you get in, you’re likely to stay in.
Follow my advice, and soon you’ll be dancing with guys that dance with girls that dance with Prince Harry. (And who knows? After a few secret smiles, some careful eye contact, a light touch of the arm, and a bit of teasing conversation…you just might need to be referring to visa option #7.
HOW TO SPOT A MEMBER OF THE CASTLE CREW:
4
plummy, cut-glass accent (this one is nonnegotiable!)
hyphenated last name (or “double-barreled surname”)
refers to his friends (both male and female) by their last names, or diminutives thereof
bottomless well of self-confidence
signs of chivalry, gallantry, and manners (He leaps to his feet when a woman enters the room and every time she leaves the table. He opens doors, pays for drinks, and offers his jacket to girls if the night is chilly.)
strong sense of duty to Queen and country
If the music is too loud to hear him properly, look for at least two or more of the following:
rosy cheeks
disheveled hair (that tends to rise into little cute wings behind his ears)
rowing and/or rugby muscles
gold signet ring (worn on the pinky finger)—make sure it’s bearing a family crest; otherwise steer clear
pastel-colored shirts (never white) rolled-up below the elbow (never above)
suede loafers