The Secret (2 page)

“Honey…” Debbie tries again, but Sophie’s furious, heartbroken as she whips around to face her.

“Jesus, would you just stop it?” Sophie screams angrily, her words and tone leaving Debbie’s eyes moist with tears. “I don’t know what the hell I did to you to cause you to try and deliberately hurt me, but that’s enough! Just leave me be!” Facing me again, Sophie’s eyes are pleading. “Can we please leave, Chase? I want to go home.”

Just a few steps away from us,
directly behind where I am, in fact, Jack is standing beside Ana. I can feel his eyes on us, watching our exchange. As badly as I want to take her from this house, help her escape what is sure to be one of the hardest things she’ll ever go through, I know I can’t keep this from her. Holding her tightly in my arms, I rest my hand against her lower back and lightly stroke her there, trying to soothe her.

“
I love you so much, my Sweetheart,” I whisper against her hair before kissing her lightly on the side of her head and gently nudging her chin up to face me. Wiping the tears from her face, I hate the feeling coursing through me. In her eyes I can see all the trust she has in me. I know she’s counting on me now to protect her mind, her heart, but I can’t and it’s killing me. “There’s nothing I want more than to take you home, but I can’t. Not yet.”

“Why?
I want to go back to Rockport, Baby,” she says, swiping her cheeks. “Please take me home.”

“Sophie,” I whisper, my throat thick with emotion
as I search for the words I don’t want to say. “I… I can’t.”

“Chase?” she say
s, slowly pulling away from me.

The trust that lay hidden in her eyes before is gradually fading away into confusion and hurt.

“Sophie, it’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay, Princess.”

“Please don’t do this to me, Chase,” she begs, new tears falling
from her emerald eyes instantly, drowning me one by one. “Not you.”

Although she’s backed away a bit, I’m still holding her as close to me as she’ll allow. Brushing my thumb across her quivering lower lip
, I hold her gaze.

“Do you t
rust me?” I ask. Slowly, she begins nodding as a silent sob breaks through her lips. Gripping her stomach for support, she leans her head against my chest weakly. “Look at me, Sophie,” I whisper.

She
slowly shakes her head, her last effort at defiance to escape whatever reality is waiting behind me.

“I can’t, Chase,” she says through her tears.
“It’s too much…”

“
Come on, Gorgeous.” Raising her eyes slowly to face me again, she’s still sobbing openly. “I’ve got you, Baby. I’m right here.”

“Okay,
” she finally says in a small, shaky voice.

T
aking a deep breath, I keep my hold on her as I take a slight step to my left, exposing the secret we’ve all been keeping less than ten feet away.

As Sophie’
s eyes leave mine and find Jack, realization creeps in and she slowly begins to sink to the floor beneath her. Supporting her as best I can, but still trying to give her whatever space she may need, I make sure she doesn’t fall too hard against the hard wooden floor.

Crouching beside her, I’m about to speak when a loud, tortured wail escapes her. She keeps her grip on her stomach, slowly bending forward far enough that her head nearly touches the floor.

“You’re dead!” she screams so loudly, it pierces through my heart. “Jack is dead!”

“It’s okay, Baby,” I
say as I gently run my hand over her back.

“
I’m not crazy,” she cries out again, burying her head into her hands. “This isn’t real… He’s dead… Jack is dead…”

“Sophie,” I start
, cutting off her tearstained chanting as I run my hand over her back soothingly. “Baby, it’s okay. You have to try to breathe.”

“
Chase, I can’t,” she whimpers, still sobbing into her hands.

“
Soph,” Jack says quietly as he makes his way over to where we are, slowly bending down in front of her.

Silent sobs rack through her full force as she hears his voice for the first time. Slowly, she pulls her hands away from her eyes and f
acing him fully for the first time, her breathing slowly begins to calm as she takes him in. Still shaking her head, she continues to whisper her denial.

“You
’re not real,” she cries weakly.

“It’s me,
Soph,” he whispers, moving his hand closer to wipe the tears from her skin. “I’m okay, Beautiful Girl.”

“Jack…
” she manages weakly. When he slowly nods, she cries for another moment before pulling herself into his arms. Once she tucks herself into his chest, he lets out a long sigh as she begins to try and speak through her tears. “They told us… They said… Jack, they said you were dead.”

“I know, Baby,” he whispers as he kisses her gently on the side of her head. “I’m so sorry, Sophie. I’m so
, so sorry.”

“I missed you so much, Jack!” she cries into his chest, causing my heart to shatter.

“I know, Baby,” he whispers, his voice thick and heavy. “I missed you, too… So much.”

Sophie continues to sob into his chest, gripp
ing him tightly as she falls apart all over again.

“
Shh,” he says, slowly rocking her in his arms. “I’m okay. I’m home now, Soph. Everything’s going to be okay.”

Sophie

As I rest against my first love
, I’m overwhelmed with my own thoughts. So much has changed about both of us, but the familiarity of him can’t be denied. His body, his scent, the way his fingertips graze the skin on my neck. It’s all exactly the same as it was the last time he held me.

So much
has changed since then. We’d grieved. We’d left Camden. A million other things I couldn’t even begin to understand had happened.

A whole new life had happened.

Chase had happened.

Pulling away from Jack
after sitting on the floor for a long while, I take in the blue green eyes I longed for every night for months on end. I’ve loved these eyes for what seemed like my whole life. Circumstance has dulled the gentle sparkle that lay beneath them, but as they gaze back at me I can see them coming back to life by the second.

I have questions, so many questions, but right now there’s only one that comes to mind.

“Jack, what happened?” My voice sounds so wooden, so hollow and mechanical, I barely recognize it. “Where the hell have you been?”

Swallowing hard, he gently squeezes my waist where his hands are resting and moves to stand. Holding his hand out to help me up, I take hold of his palm and slowly rise beside him.

“Come on,” he starts. “Let’s go for a walk and I’ll tell you.”

Pulling away from him slightly, I instantly begin shaking my head in refusal.

“No,” I tell him. “Not without Ana. Anything you tell me, you’re telling her.”

“I already did,
Soph,” he admits with a softer version of my favorite lopsided smile. “We talked some while you were sleeping.”

Nodd
ing as I turn away from him, I find Chase leaning against the wall beside the door just a few feet away. His eyes meet mine and I don’t miss the mixture of fear and sadness that’s still there.

“Chase?” I start as I
release Jack’s hand and make my way toward him. “Can you come outside?”

“Of course,” he says, offering me a weak smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

He pulls the door open and watches as I walk through to the porch, where I wait for him to shut the door behind us.

Taking my hand, he gestures toward
his truck and I follow along. Putting down the tailgate, he helps me up and once I’m settled, he takes a seat beside me.

“Are you okay?” he asks
after a few moments, finally breaking the silence between us.

“I don’t know,”
I admit honestly, shaking my head.

“
I’m sure you’re confused,” he nods as he rubs his strong hand over my back affectionately, causing me to scoot closer and rest my cheek against him. He lets out a shaky breath as he wraps his arm around my shoulders and it’s then that I realize how hard this must be on him. I’m about to ask if he’s okay when he breaks the silence. “Sophie? Just say it, Baby. Whatever it is you brought me out here to tell me? Just say it.”

“
You know I love you?”

Looki
ng down at my left hand and touching his fingertip to the diamond that he put there, he rests his palm over mine and squeezes gently.

“Yes,”
he whispers, his voice cracking as he kisses me gently on the top of my head, inhaling my scent.

“I have to talk to him, Chase.”

“I know,” he says, his voice still low and thick. “I’m not going anywhere, Sophie,” he says softly, nudging my chin up before kissing me gently on the lips. “As long as you want me, I’ll be here.”

Jack

I know it’s wrong, but I can’t stop watching her outside with him. He seems nice enough, he seems to care about her, but that’s not good enough.

Nobody will ever love that girl like I do.

“Jack,” Ana says from behind
me, pulling me away from my makeshift watch post by the window. “Are you hungry?”

“What do you know about this guy, Ana?”

“I know that he’s Drake’s cousin and he’s very good to Sophie. Aside from that, you’re on your own. Are you hungry?”

“Ana, I have a right to know if the guy who’s kissing my girl right now is a douche, don’t you think?”

“You do and he’s not,” she says, making her way over to me from the kitchen where her boyfriend is watching our exchange. “Sophie has a right to be the one to talk to you about their relationship, Jack,” she says, her eyes full of love and compassion. “Are you eating?”

“Not right now, thanks,
” I say, knowing that even though I haven’t had a good home cooked meal in far too long, I have no appetite.

Jesus, I can’t believe she has a
fucking boyfriend. I did not see that coming.

Watching them make their way back to the door, she’s holding his hand as they come to a stop in front of the house. Wiping the tears away from her face, he kisses her on the forehead and leads her back toward the door.
Her expression is one I can’t read, making it hard to gauge her feelings.

I know I’m being unreasonable by being so upset that she’s moved on. She only did what I told her I wanted her to do. It doesn’t make it any easier to see her with someone else, though.

This is not how this was supposed to happen.

The door creaking open breaks me from my jealous thoughts and when I glance over, I see that she’s already making her way over.

“Hey,” she says nervously, her voice unsteady. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Can we talk?”

“
Yeah.”

“Okay,” she nods before turning to walk back towards the door.

“Here,” I say, pulling my jacket off and sliding it onto her shoulders. “It’s getting cold out.”

“Thanks,” she says quietly.

We make our way out to the yard, stopping in front of the tree with the old swing hanging in the same spot it’s been since me and Ana were kids. Seeing how shaky Sophie is on her feet, I keep close, my hand moving to her back and decide it’s probably not a great idea for her to walk too far.

Once she’s settled o
n the swing, I sit down in front of her on the grass and take her in. She looks so tired and after everything that’s happened today, the shock is clear in her features. She’s never been more beautiful though.

Her long blonde hair is blowing gently in the breeze
, brushing against her soft skin. The green eyes that have kept me breathing are even more gorgeous than I remember.

“
I don’t really know where to start this, Soph,” I admit, releasing a deep breath.

“S
tart at the beginning,” she offers, leaning her head against the rope and holding my eyes.

“Okay,” I
nod as I clear my throat and move my gaze to the ground in front of her. “Ana said that they told you I was on security detail and that my truck hit an IED and killed me instantly?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that’s partially what happened,” I start, moving my eyes to hers again. “The place where the explosion happened was near a village that sits at the base of a pretty vast area my unit had never been to. When we hit the IED, the blast was intense, so I was thrown pretty far. Immediately after, people started shooting from all directions. Between my injuries, the smoke and the gunfire, I was completely disoriented. I couldn’t see anything clearly,” I continue, my voice staggering a bit as the memory comes crashing back. “Communication was down and I was low on ammunition, so I knew I needed to take cover, but I just couldn’t make sense of anything, you know?”

Sophie
simply nods and waits for me to continue, swiping at the tears that are starting to build beneath her perfect green eyes.

God, I missed the
se eyes
.

“I
eventually made it to an abandoned building and tried to get my head straight so I could figure out how to regroup with the rest of the unit,” I continue. “When I was thrown from the blast, though, I must have gotten a concussion or something, because I just felt… I don’t know…
off
. I ended up falling asleep, I don’t know for how long. All I know is when I woke up, it was dark. It felt like days had passed, but I really have no idea how long I was out. Anyway, it wasn’t until I made my way back out that I realized I’d inadvertently gone beyond enemy lines.”

“What does that mean
, Jack?” she asks, her voice cracking slightly.

“It means I was on my own,
Soph,” I say bluntly, the thickness of the emotion in my voice causing her to shudder. “It was an accident and I hadn’t done anything wrong, but just being there wasn’t safe for me. Immediately, I knew I had to hide or I could be killed. After a few days, I found a cave and hid out there for a long time just trying to get a plan together. I’d hit my head, broken my arm and tore up my leg pretty badly, so once I found a safe place, I wasn’t able to do much besides sleep. Eventually, when I was able to, I started sneaking out at night and did what I could for food, but it wasn’t easy to find. Since I didn’t know exactly where I was, I had no idea how to get back to American soil.”

“Oh my God, Jack.”

“After a while, I knew I had to make a move or I’d starve to death. I would go out when it was safe and try to get a lay of the land, try and see if I could figure things out. Things are so different there and I was hiding in unchartered territory,” I continue. “When the sun started to come up, I’d hurry and find someplace safe to try and hide, get rest. More than a few times, I’d have to stay for weeks on end before I could relocate without being noticed. One night, I listened for what seemed like forever and finally felt like I could start moving again. After I’d been out for a couple hours, I heard movement behind me and thought for sure I was done for,” I shake my head. “It turned out to be an old man. I’d wandered into the backside of another village and he’d seen me, asked what I was doing. I thought about lying, but destroyed as they were, I was still in my BDU’s so I didn’t have much of a choice,” I say, letting out a breath. “Luckily, though, he helped me. He brought me food and water, told me to hide and promised not to tell anyone I was out there. A few nights later, he said he would help me get back.”

“
How long were you hiding, Jack?”

“I thought it had been maybe close to a year, maybe a little more,” I start, my voice cracking. “The days all bled together out there,
Soph. I really didn’t know, but I never would have guessed it had been…” Feeling the emotion coursing through me, but trying desperately to remain strong for Sophie, I shake it off, clearing my throat. “I didn’t make it back to the base until a little over a month ago, though. By the time I got there, I was completely dehydrated, malnourished. I basically
was
dead.”

“Oh my God,”
she gasps.

“Immediately, they got me fed, gave me medical attention. I slept for days, woke up to eat and then slept some more. I had no idea at that point what they’d told y
ou or how long I’d been gone,” I shake my head, angry at the time that I’d lost. “When they finally told me everything, I lost it, Soph. I told them I wanted out, my time was up. I tried to call, but it kept saying the line was disconnected. Between debriefing and paperwork, it took a few days, but as soon as I was discharged and able to, I was on the first plane home. I swear to you, Baby. I got here as quickly as I could.”

Nodding slightly, my beautiful girl begins to cry, the sobs finally breaking free from her full lips as she wraps her arm around her stomach, covering her mouth with her free hand.

Moving towards her, I crouch in front of her and pull her into my arms as gently as I can, loving the familiar smell of her against me. I never thought I’d smell her, feel her again. The realization that I finally am is almost too much to handle.

“
Sophie, all those nights in those caves, all those days when I was struggling to hang on to the last shred of my sanity,” I start. “It was you that got me through it. You saved me, Soph,” I say as I begin rocking her gently in my arms. “Not a single second passed that I wasn’t thinking of you, trying to get back to you, Baby,” I whisper into her golden hair. “I never stopped trying to get back to you.
Never.
”

She cries harder as soon as she settles into my embrace, gripping me around the neck tightly. I’ve never seen her cry so hard.

“I love you so much, Sophie,” I say softly into her ear, kissing her there gently.

“I love you, too, Jack,” she sobs, gripping me harder. “I love you, too.”