The Secret of Life Wellness: The Essential Guide to Life's Big Questions (11 page)

ligent, successful, evolved, interesting and powerful than I really am? How can I make

others look up to me and want me, because I am attractive and have special abilities,

important connections, money, and so forth.

The prostitute archetype helps us understand the difference between self-

imprisonment, dishonesty, domination and freedom, self-expression, and self-

empowerment. It gives you a choice to use your power, talents, and abilities for the

positive or the negative. If you believe that you are Divinely guided, and put your

trust in the higher powers, then it makes it more difficult for you to be controlled,

manipulated, or bought.

Embracing the Prostitute

When you embrace the prostitute archetype, it can be your biggest ally. It can forewarn

you when you consider acting out of integrity in order to gain something in the

physical. It can also infuse you with the courage and the perseverance you need to

follow your heart.

When you move away from the situations and the people who use you, cost you too

much energy, time, emotion and dignity you can truly heal and transform your life.

Linda’s Story: Befriending Her Prostitute Archetype

Many people prostitute themselves by staying in abusive relationships or in

jobs they hate. Due to habit and fear, they remain in a toxic environment,

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disregard their principles, and make themselves ill to ensure their financial

security and status, rather than change, take responsibility, and grow.

Linda had been married to her husband for over twenty years. They ran a

successful business together and had three children. Although her relation-

ship looked outwardly perfect, inside Linda was deteriorating. Every year, she

would have a new health condition and part of her body would degenerate.

Linda had her thyroid taken out, developed cysts in her breasts, had

problems with her ovaries, heart palpitations, back pain, toe nail fungus, and

migraines. Her body was screaming out but she kept finding excuses to stay

in an unhealthy relationship rather than leave of change it. The turning point

came when she was lying in the hospital being checked for a brain tumor.

Although her physical security was important, Linda decided that being

honest with herself and staying alive was essential. So at fifty-two, Linda left

her husband. She moved out within a week and began a journey of self-inquiry.

Although people thought that Linda was completely insane to leave her

husband at her age, with such a small amount of money, and low job

prospects, deep inside Linda knew that the relationship she had with her

husband was unhealthy and their journey was complete. She felt she had

always hid behind him, the relationship was unbalanced and often abusive

and this was killing her. She had always stayed for the sake of security, the

children and not to cause trouble, but her children had grown up and in a

sense it was time for her to as well.

Linda knew that her first step was to heal and listen to the wisdom of

her body. She learned about archetypes and began to work with and

understand the challenges and the power of the prostitute. In particular, she

felt she had to own the part of herself she called the “bad girl.”

As Linda felt stronger, she joined a dance class. This helped her to get

fit, flexible, and creative. It inspired her to open a shop with a spiritual twist

and organize healing and dance workshops that would give people an

opportunity to learn about themselves and regain their inner power.

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Although it took time, Linda’s health improved, she met a lot of interest-

ing people, and made new friends. Inside, she felt alive and valued. She also

learned to receive support and find creative ways to deal with challenging

situations.

Linda shared that she had to befriend and listen to her prostitute arche-

type in order to heal. She said that she could not have imagined

consciously working with the prostitute energy until she left her husband,

as it would have been too confrontational. However, having a profound rela-

tionship with this archetype gave Linda the courage to follow her dreams,

keep her integrity, and find a strong life purpose.

The Victim Archetype

You may become conscious of your inner victim when you experience rejection, viola-

tion, injustice, inequality, prejudice, and blame for things you did not do.

As most people experience many challenging situations throughout their lives, it is

easy to qualify for a place in the victim club. The victim club contains many people who

blame others, the government, society, their bodies, and their economic situation for

not having what they need or desire. It is easy to point a finger at someone else, but to

take responsibility for your actions, beliefs, and the roles you play in the victim drama is

much more difficult and requires you to grow, change your perspective, be courageous,

and stand up for yourself and what you believe in.

It can be easy to allow the victim to take over when you feel that life is unfair. The

victim can keep you safe, restraining you from judging others superficially, holding on

to past pain, or dealing with life destructively. You may feel unhappy in your current

situation but comfortable with what you know. The victim can precipitate your fears

and give you a list of reasons to remain the same.

Shadow Victim

When someone is in the victim state, they feel vulnerable, weak, and defeated. They are

unable to stand up for themselves and create healthy boundaries. The victim enjoys

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getting sympathy from as many people as possible. Energetically, the victim drains

whoever it is around and often finds reasons why nothing is going to work and why

they will fail or end up in an unpleasant situation.

The shadow victim often avoids conflict or confrontation, but feels comfortable to

gossip and speak negatively behind people’s backs. It also perpetuates the belief that

that life is too hard, that there is no point in trying, and if you give things a go, you

might end up alone and worse off than before. The victim makes you feel sorry for

yourself, for trying the path of healing and transformation and moving away from

everything you know even though it may be harming you.

Embracing the Victim

The light side of the victim is the victorious part that helps you to takes responsibility for

your reactions and gives you the courage to take positive actions in challenging situations.

Through this archetype, you begin to understand your relationship to power,

courage, self-worth, personal boundaries, honesty, endurance, and self-respect. As the

victim often arises in personal relationships, the light side can teach you to hold your

power without getting angry, nasty, or vicious with others.

People can misinterpret empowerment as aggression. However, genuine empower-

ment is about connecting to your intuition and acting from a place of wisdom and

compassion. The victorious part encourages you to heal past hurts and see them as

opportunities to grow and become stronger.

Stacey’s Story: Accepting the Victim

Stacey was a very successful stylist. In fact, she worked with the rich and

famous, helping them look great! After twenty years in the industry, Stacey

felt that her life was out of control and decided to take a break. However,

deep inside, she felt like a victim, and without a job, living alone in a big

city, and about to turn fifty, she found herself feeling miserable and useless.

Stacey’s parents lived in a different state, and she had not spoken with

them in years as she blamed them for a lot of the pain she had endured.

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Stacey’s only daughter lived overseas and they had limited contact. Stacey

joined yoga classes and signed up for personal development workshops in

order to get her confidence back, but she didn’t feel better, as her inner vic-

tim was too strong.

When she discovered there were no quick fixes, Stacey became angry,

judgmental, jealous, and spiteful. She alienated all her friends by making

nasty comments and pushing them away whenever they tried to help. In

fact, she proclaimed that she was taking back her power, while in reality,

she was disempowering herself and using anger to protect herself from

feeling vulnerable and receiving help.

In her mind, Stacey told herself that she was better than everyone else.

However in reality she felt depressed and useless. Her body was react-

ing through allergies, food intolerances, and eventually an auto-immune

disease.

After spending a lot of time alone, Stacey realized that although it was

difficult for her to admit it, she was acting like a victim. The more Stacey

explored her shadow side and owned the victim aspect of herself, the more

alive she felt. She understood that her patterns were coming from her

family line, in particular her mother and grandmother. She also felt angry

about how women had been treated for many centuries and was directing

this energy against the men in her life.

Stacey decided that she would be gentler with herself and that she

needed time to process what was stored in her body and mind so that

she could truly transform. She spent several years working with the shadow

and light aspects of herself, forgave her family and slowly improved her

relationships with them. Eventually, Stacey went on a six month trip with

her daughter, where they reconnected, had fun, and shared new perspec-

tives on life. While travelling and enjoying herself, Stacey also met

Christopher, a wonderful man who practiced Tibetan medicine and helped

her heal her body and open her heart.

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Although Stacey no longer felt like a victim, she knew that she had to

be aware that her victim archetype would continue to show her areas in her

life where she had difficulty taking responsibility or felt hurt. She also rec-

ognized that this part could help her grow in her relationship with

Christopher and others.

The Saboteur Archetype

The saboteur can cause you to sabotage opportunities, resist healthy and enriching rela-

tionships, close your heart, and lose money. This archetype is linked to your fears of

surviving in physical reality. It can plague you with doubts of not being able to pay your

bills, fit into society, find the right job, or have the relationship of your dreams.

The saboteur is most fearful of change, especially if that change is going to rearrange

your whole reality. However, if you invest into strengthening your soul rather than sabo-

taging tactics, the saboteur will assist you to become more resilient and courageous.

As the saboteur archetype is connected to the heart center, it plays a significant role

in your intimate relationships as well as your innermost hopes and dreams.

When you befriend the saboteur, you become acutely aware of its potentially sabo-

taging tactics and how to minimize them. This gives you an opportunity to take

chances and become courageous, daring, creative, and adventurous, while at the same

time being responsible. Your intuition and ability to listen to your heart’s wisdom also

greatly increases, and you become aware of the difference between fear, excitement,

desire, and true gut instinct.

Shadow Saboteur

On the shadow side, the saboteur can guard your heart and push away any people or

opportunities which make you joyful. It is a master at making up dramatic stories that

have little to do with reality, but it can also cause you to doubt your instincts and urge you

to give up or postpone your dreams for the fear that you are not good enough and will fail.

Whenever you try to get too close to people, the saboteur will help you to subcon-

sciously create situations which cause conflict and pain and leave you feeling

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disappointed, hopeless, or lonely. It can also judge, criticize, and put you down, telling