The Skeptics Annotated Bible (1001 page)

6 And
before the throne there was a sea of glass
like unto crystal:
and
in the midst of the throne, and round about the throne, were
four beasts full of eyes before and behind.

(4.6) “Before the throne there was a sea of glass … and … four beasts full of eyes before and behind.”

7 And the first beast was like a lion, and the second beast like a calf, and the third beast had a face as a man, and the fourth beast was like a flying eagle.

(4.7) “The first beast was like a lion, and the second beast like a calf, and the third beast had a face as a man, and the fourth beast was like a flying eagle.”

8 And
the four beasts had
each of them
six wings
about him;
and they were full of eyes
within: and they rest not day and night,
saying, Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come.

(4.8) “The four beasts had … six wings … and they were full of eyes … saying, Holy, holy, holy, LORD God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come.”

9 And when those beasts give glory and honour and thanks to him that sat on the throne, who liveth for ever and ever,

10
The four and twenty elders fall down before him that sat on the throne, and worship him
that liveth for ever and ever,
and cast their crowns before the throne, saying,

(4.10) “The four and twenty elders fall down before him that sat on the throne, and worship him … and cast their crowns before the throne, saying,”

11 Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for
thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.

(4.11) “Thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.” God created parasites, pathogens, and predators for his own pleasure. He likes to watch things suffer.

(5.1-14) John sees a book with seven seals and an angel that screams, “Who can open the book?” But no one in heaven or on earth could do it. Until “the lion of the tribe of Judah” gave it a try. He opened the seals with no problem and then transformed into a 7-eyed, 7-horned, dead lamb with the 7 Spirits of God. The point is, I guess, that both the lion and the lamb are really Jesus, and only he (they?) have the strength to break the seals. So he does it and everyone (the 100 million angels and monsters in heaven, and all the animals on earth) says how great he is for doing it.

5
And
I saw
in the right hand of him that sat on the throne
a book
written within and on the backside,
sealed with seven seals.

(5.1) “I saw … a book … sealed with seven seals.”

2
And
I saw
a strong angel proclaiming with a loud voice, Who is worthy to open the book, and to loose the seals thereof?

(5.2) “And … a strong angel proclaiming with a loud voice, Who is worthy to open the book, and to loose the seals thereof?”

3 And
no man in heaven, nor in earth
, neither under the earth,
was able to open the book
, neither to look thereon.

(5.3) “No man in heaven, nor in earth … was able to open the book.”

4 And I wept much, because no man was found worthy to open and to read the book, neither to look thereon.

5 And one of the elders saith unto me, Weep not: behold,
the Lion of the tribe of Juda
, the Root of David,
hath prevailed to open the book,
and to loose the seven seals thereof.

(5.5) “The Lion of the tribe of Juda … hath prevailed to open the book.”

6 And
I beheld
, and, lo, in the midst of the throne and of the four beasts, and in the midst of the elders, stood
a Lamb as it had been slain, having seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven Spirits of God
sent forth into all the earth.

(5.6) “I beheld … a Lamb as it had been slain, having seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven Spirits of God.”

7 And
he came and took the book out of the right hand of him that sat upon the throne.

(5.7) “He came and took the book out of the right hand of him that sat upon the throne.”

8 And when he had taken the book, the four beasts and four and twenty elders fell down before the Lamb, having every one of them harps, and golden vials full of odours, which are the prayers of saints.

(5.8) “When he had taken the book, the four beasts and four and twenty elders fell down before the Lamb, having every one of them harps, and golden vials full of odours.”

9
And they sung a new song, saying, Thou art worthy
to take the book, and to open the seals thereof:
for thou wast slain, and hast redeemed us to God by thy blood
out of every kindred, and tongue, and people, and nation;

(5.9) “And they sung a new song, saying, Thou art worthy … for thou wast slain, and hast redeemed us to God by thy blood.”

10 And hast made us unto our God kings and priests: and we shall reign on the earth.

11 And
I beheld, and I heard the voice of many angels round about the throne and the beasts and the elders: and the number of them was ten thousand times ten thousand, and thousands of thousands;

(5.11) “I beheld, and I heard the voice of many angels round about the throne and the beasts and the elders: and the number of them was ten thousand times ten thousand, and thousands of thousands.”

12
Saying with a loud voice, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and blessing.

(5.12) “Saying with a loud voice, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and blessing.”

13
And every creature
which is in heaven, and on the earth, and under the earth, and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, heard I
saying, Blessing, and honour, and glory, and power, be unto him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb for ever and ever.

(5.13) “And every creature … saying, Blessing, and honour, and glory, and power, be unto him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb for ever and ever.”

14
And the four beasts said, Amen.
And the four and twenty elders fell down and worshipped him that liveth for ever and ever.

(5.14) “And the four beasts said, Amen.”

(6.1-17) Jesus (the 7-horned, 7-eyed, 7-holy spirited dead lamb from chapter 5) begins breaking seals and all kinds of bad shit happens. Before each seal is broken, a beast tells John to “come and see.”